So Close

Spring cleaning for the soul

I had a massive spring cleaning day.  I tidied my study, packed away all my books and gave them to my sister to give to the moms at the Paed ward (for her charity). Then Marko and I tackled the kids' play room.  It was so liberating.  All those baby toys I have been saving up, just in case..... now all neatly packed in bags, ready to be given away. All the expensive toys they never play with, all the books they never read. All will be given away.  It felt so good and so right to do this.  Next stop: their baby clothes and other baby paraphernalia.  It is time to move on.  I wish it was different, but it isn't and that is that.  There are so many other really needy children who desperately need clothes, and towels and yes, even toys. It felt sinful for my kids to have these boxes and boxes of toys when there are children who do not have even one.  Every child deserves the opportunity to play. 

Today really was good for my soul.

Aids Orphanage / Safe house

Hello local lads and lasses. I would like to donate the kids’ toys and other paraphernalia to an orphanage or safe house, but I would prefer to give them to a lesser known place. Somewhere that doesn’t already benefit from media exposure. I know there are many informally run places that do wonderful work but don’t get the necessary aid because no one knows about them. Anyone have a place like that they can recommend? Pls drop me an email.

The people of South Africa

 In the absence of any inspiration, I thought I would do a little cultural lesson.  A few facts and figures about the people of South Africa.

South Africa is a nation of diversity, with over 47-million people and a variety of cultures, languages and religious beliefs.

According to Statistics South Africa's mid-2006 estimates, the country's population stands at some 47.4-million. Africans are in the majority at 37.7-million, making up 79.5% of the total population. The white population is estimated at 4.4-million (9.2%), the coloured* population at 4.2-million (8.9%) and the Indian/Asian population at 1.2-million (2.5%).

South Africa's population by race
(Data source: Statistics South Africa)

South Africa has 11 official languages, and plenty of unofficial ones besides. English is the most commonly spoken language in official and commercial public life - but only the fifth most spoken home language.

While more than three-quarters of South Africa's population is black African, this category is neither culturally nor linguistically homogenous. Nine of the official languages are African, reflecting a variety of ethnic groupings which nonetheless have a great deal in common in terms of background, culture and descent.

South Africa's population by language
(Data source: Statistics South Africa)

In terms of religion, the 2001 census found that 11.1% of the population are Zion Christian, 8.2% Pentecostal or Charismatic Christian, 7.1% Catholic, 6.8% Methodist, 6.7% Dutch Reformed, 3.8% Anglican, 36% other Christian, 1.5% Muslim, 3.7% "other" or unspecified, with a further 15.1% having no religion.

South Africa's population by religion
(Data source: Statistics South Africa)

* 'Coloured' is not a derogatory term in South Africa. It is term for a specific racial, cultural and ethnic group of people, usually of mixed descent.

                       

South Africa has the world's 22nd-largest economy by gross domestic product. It's the world's 32nd-largest country by land area, and 28th-largest by population. South Africa completely surrounds the country of Lesotho and almost completely surrounds Swaziland. By area, the country is one-eighth the size of the United States, just over a third the size of the European Union, twice as big as France and nearly four times the size of Germany. South Africa has the world's 32nd-largest labour force. It's the 17th-largest global producer of electricity, has the 15th-longest network of railway tracks in the world, and the 17th-longest length of roadways.

South Africa quick facts here

Have you heard the one about the lion, the buffalo and the crocodile?

I'm sure you've all heard of, or seen the video clip taken at Kruger (large game reserve here in South Africa) where lions and a crocodile wrestle over a buffalo calf. But if you haven't, check this out. It's amazing.

Ja nee*

A few of you expressed interest in the language thing and so I thought I would talk a little more about it.

Marko’s family is Afrikaans and mine are English. (Actually, both of our mothers are Dutch, interesting huh) Both of us learnt the other language (Eng/Afr) at school, and of course growing up in a neighbourhood where both were spoken, we had plenty of opportunity practise speaking the second language. The difference is that I hardly ever speak Afrikaans anymore and so it has got really rusty whereas Marko’s English is flawless. In fact, the only time he speaks Afrikaans is to his family. All his work and social conversations are in English. We only ever speak English at home unless we want to say something that the kids won’t understand.  Like “go to bed” or “eat your food”. No wait, they understand that, they just don’t listen to it.

It’s funny that you asked about this now, because I was at my neighbour’s house over the weekend and we were nattering away, full steam ahead. We hadn’t seen each other for a while and so we had lots to chat about. There we were, facing each other on the couch, talking nineteen to the dozen, with her speaking only Afrikaans and me only English. At one point I actually stopped her and said “I wonder if any other societies do this? Have complete conversations where the one person only converses in one language and the other person in another?”

That is how I speak to my in-laws as well. I speak English to them and they (actually mainly my FIL) answers back in Afrikaans. And we both understand each other perfectly. I can understand Afrikaans (mostly), but I can’t speak it very well. Plus, according to Marko, my accent is atrocious. How rude.

Do you guys have that where you live? Do you ever do that? Have free flowing conversations with someone in two different languages? 

Did you know that we have 11 official languages in South Africa? Afrikaans, English, isiNdebele, isiXhosa, isiZulu, Sepedi, Sesotho, Setswana, siSwati, Tshivenda and Xitsonga. 

As for my kids, I will be bringing them up in English, not Afrikaans. My husband is more than happy to do this. He doesn’t feel a particularly strong allegiance to the Afrikaans language, and obviously I don’t either. Instead what I will be doing is ensuring my kids learn an African language. That is far more important to me. If they want to learn Afrikaans, they can do that on their own, but I will insist they take Xhosa at school. 

It is not that I don’t love Afrikaans; it is such a rich, colourful, expressive language. I Love listening to colourful Afrikaans, especially Cape Flats Afrikaans. Best ever. Words like doos, kak, lekker, rustig, etc are without compare in the English language and have become part of my daily vernacular. Actually doos is recent rediscovery of mine. Love that word. Doos. Don’t be a doos. It’s a rude word, so don’t be a doos and use it in front of grown ups and other respectable people. 

Actually, my children do speak a bit of Afrikaans. This is very South African, but they only ever say ‘ja’ instead of yes. “Want a sweetie?” “Ja”. Nice. That comes straight from me. Ja. 

So, there you have it. My kids will be brought up English and will hopefully have Xhosa as their second language and perhaps Afrikaans as their third. If they want.  

Ja boet. Dis reg so.

* The Afrikaaners have this quaint expression they use. Ja nee. Literally translated as yes no. As in, “yes no, I agree”. Ja nee. 

Sister Mel: Just like Lady Di

I am SO proud of my sister Mel. Last night’s show was such a moving tribute to her and the wonderful work she does. I was so proud of her last night, I wanted to burst.  I wept through out the show.  I got a SMS from a friend of mine who said that she and her two boys were watching the show and they said sister Mel is “just like Lady Di”. And she is. Gracious, kind, elegant, loving, giving and filled with great compassion for all human beings. I am proud to be her sister. Well done Mellie, to you, to your other HC’s and all the people involved. I know it is hard work sometimes, and that you get very down when people keep letting you down, or when you run out of funds and goodies for the moms, but keep on with what you are doing. You are making such an enormous difference in these women’s lives. 

If anyone wants to help Bosom Buddies, please email my sister or go to her blog to check out the work she is doing.

Well done sister Mel, I am proud to be your sister. You are going to get a mansion up there, right on the beach front.

PS Your nose didn’t look that big on TV, but it could have been the fuzzy reception I get for eTV.

Hey, that's me!!!

From the MSNBC site:

U.S. women crossing globe for fertility help

"She was inspired to investigate South Africa, among other countries, as she’d been following the blog of a South African woman who’d been navigating her own fertility problems."

Me! That's me! Famous!!  Small world, isn't it. 

Read the full article here

BTW, I have met the lovely lady in question when she came to South Africa and she is a fabulous person. So wonderful to see her and her two gorgeous daughters. Can't believe they are a year already, feels like yesterday that we met for lunch!

 

The beautiful life behind bars

A few of you noticed in the last video clip that there were railings on the sliding doors in my lounge and asked what they were doing there.

Well, the reason they are on that particular sliding door and not on the outside is because we recently built an entertainment area (aka braai room) onto the lounge and couldn’t be bothered to move all the security bars and gates. But the reason they were there is the first place is the same reason why we have security bars built into the structure of every single window and door in our entire house. There isn’t an opening that doesn’t have high-level security bars across it.

Why? Because this is the reality of living where I live. In South Africa. In Africa.

South Africa is a wonderful country. Like many countries in Africa it is majestic in its beauty. Strong, vibrant, warm, earthy, alive. Magnificent. I love living here and I honestly don’t think I could live any where else. I love my motherland too much.

Yes there are things that are not so wonderful. The legacy of apartheid is still very much in evidence and poverty is widespread and often very dire. And yes, crime is a problem. A big problem. We have unacceptably high levels of crime and violent crime.

There are two reactions to living in a country with such high levels of crime: either you refuse to deal with it by leaving* or pretending it doesn’t exist, or you learn to live with it. You become acclimatized to the crime. It doesn’t mean that you condone it, or accept it, but you learn to live within the reality that it presents. You build walls around your property, you install security bars on all your windows and doors, you buy big gates and big dogs, you sign up with a 24 hour armed response. You install a vehicle tracking device in your car, you never drive with your doors unlocked or your window down. You don’t stop at stop signs or red traffic lights at night. In fact you don’t drive at night, if you can help it. You learn to be aware; you learn how to read the signs. You circle your street first if you notice unfamiliar people lurking near your gates. You buy a gun, or you get rid of your gun. You learn to live in this world.

I know that some of you must read this and say “I could never live like that”. I know there must be others who would even judge me a little for wanting to stay here. Mutterings of words like ‘children’ and ‘responsibility’ would surface.

But what if you were born here? What if your parents were still here? Your memories, your history? What if it felt like this was the place that gave birth to you, the place that feeds your soul. What if you felt like this place was the only place with just the right amount of air, sun and soil you needed to survive and thrive. What if you felt like being African was part of who you are, and to be anywhere else would always feel like you were incomplete? Would you still leave?

I do wish things were different. I do wish we didn’t have to have tall walls and bars across our windows. But I honestly can’t imagine living anywhere else than here in beautiful sunny hopeful South Africa.

"Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika"

(Added more stuff below)

Att Cape Town mothers and interested others

Meet the authors and share your experiences with other yummy mummies. Take this chance
to relax and enjoy a delicious fresh brunch with us.

Date: Friday, 11 May 2007
Time: 9am to 11am
Venue: Deer Park Cafe, 2 Deer Park Avenue, Vredehoek, Cape Town

Att Cape Town parents and interested others

More info here

I have (stupidly!  foolishly!  when will I ever learn!*) agreed to do a talk at the Raising Children Interactive Expo at the Waterfront this coming Friday, 4th May at 17:00. On infertility of course.

I think the Expo will be quite good, so pop around.  If you do come to my talk, please ask lots of questions so that I don't have to stand there looking like a poephol for the entire hour**

* Stupid because (a) I hate public speaking, I get SO nervous and (b) I never get paid for these gigs.  I do it for free AND I hate doing it!! I must be stupid.  Ok, I do it because the subject is important to me, but still!

** They asked if I could speak for an hour.  I begged them to shorten it to 30 minutes, but an hour it is.  Ask questions!!!!  Please!!

Apologies.  There are an indecent amount of exclamation marks there, but I really do hate public speaking.

!