I love my mother very much, she is an amazing person. A survivor, a fighter, a hero. She has stood by me through thick and thin, she propped me up when I needed it most. I have always appreciated my mother, but never more so since I have had children. How she survived having four children without killing any of them or herself is a true testament to her strength. Plus she never even drank wine! The woman is a saint. Or crazier than I realized.
As I posted on Facebook recently, now that I am a parent, so much of my mother's parenting makes sense. None more so than her regular refrain: "unless you are bleeding or on fire, if it is after 8 o'clock I do not want to hear you or see you!" By the end of the day, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! I love my children dearly, but by 8pm I do not want to see or hear them either. GO TO BED.
The post on Facebook elicited quite a few humorous responses, including my sister reminding me about another regular refrain from my mom: "arms length" - my mother used to put her arm out as if she was a traffic cop at an intersection and tell us that we had to stand at arms length away from her when we wanted to tell her something. Can you imagine having four children climb on you, tug at you, hang on your leg all day!
I hear myself channeling my mother often - almost repeating her expressions verbatim. My mother absolutely loves it! She thinks it is hysterical that her daughers all have shades of her in them as parents. As I said, it all makes sense now!
I would love to hear what expressions, rules or traits you have inherited from your mother or father? Do you find yourself saying things to your children that you hated when your mother said it to you as a child? Are you like your mother (or father) or are you totally different?
In high school I had a stock of my mom's phrases that I trotted out while babysitting:
- Don't rock your chair.
- Chew with your mouth closed.
- Cover your mouth if you cough.
- Don't talk with food in your mouth.
I'm sure there were more things she said, but these were the four that I found I needed.
Gwen's still too young for all of these, but I expect I'll be bringing them out again soon enough!
Posted by: Sara | 27 January 2013 at 09:05 PM
I was waaay too perfect a child for my mom to develop any refrains! :) my mom was a teacher and I found her a bit like a sargeant major sometimes. I don't really recall any one particular thing she like to drum into us, but as a parent myself, I have adopted the 8pm bed time one with definite enthusiasm. My kids knew from the time they came home from the hospital as teeny tiny babies - bedtime is just that. I don't wanna hear you, see you, know you. Don't waste your breath screaming, cos mommy's not gonna come running! end of story. So far, they're fine and mom is somewhat sane (alcohol in copius quanties helps). All good! Thanks for the email re the camera btw - didn't want to reply, in case you would worry I was turning into a stalker :)
Posted by: Shannon | 28 January 2013 at 11:14 AM
I often hear my mom or my dad's voice coming out of my mouth!
I sort of do a double take and think, "Sheesh! Was that really me!?"
Posted by: Angel Conradie | 28 January 2013 at 02:09 PM
"If you dont quit that I will bang you heads together!" when my siblings and I were fighting. I have used that on numerous occasions !
Posted by: Debbie in the UK | 29 January 2013 at 04:54 PM
"Look at me." I say something "now, what did I just say? Say it back to me"
"Turn it down. Turn it down. Volume! Turn it down"
"God gave you a perfectly good brain, please use it."
"I love your face the way it is"
Posted by: Evilisa | 29 January 2013 at 07:51 PM
I should have explained the last one. "I love your face the way it is" is what is said when I see the boy doing something stupid/dangerous. EX: sparklers, pointing knife AT HIM instead of away from him when opening something, trying to play games and walk in the street. It started as "please watch what you are doing or you'll hurt yourself and I would like for your face to stay the same. It evolved into what my mom/aunt/grandmother said every single day to me. "I LOVE YOUR FACE THE WAY IT IS"
Posted by: Evilisa | 29 January 2013 at 07:56 PM
I love both my parent’s mom and dad. There is no love that can out match the love towards parents. This is something that many people take time to understand.
Posted by: Namibia Travel | 30 January 2013 at 08:15 AM
I hear my Mom often when I say "If its not bleeding or hanging off,you do not need a plaster"
Also..."Chew with your mouth closed ,you are not a cow"
Posted by: Debbie | 31 January 2013 at 10:11 AM
I'm not a parent, but my mom always used to say "Upstairs, downstairs, or outside!" to get us to GO AWAY--rightfully so, three energetic kids needed to entertain themselves, especially since they/we were well able to do so. I foresee myself using this phrase in the future. ;) Also, when she started to yell at us about something and discovered she was in the wrong, she'd sort of pause and then grin and say, "You're lucky!". Always made us both laugh. She also used to walk in the door after work and call "All electronics off!". Granted, this was the mid-90s, so PCs were almost nonexistent, video games weren't handheld, and cell phones weren't in use for the normal folk, so things have changed, but I REALLY want to use this phrase. After being apart all day, it's a good way to force some sort of interaction between family members. We were teenagers, though, not little, and had no interest in hanging off her. I think she wishes she had had the "arm's length!" thing. My grammy had 9 kids, and I know she had phrases, but I don't know them.
Posted by: Liz | 01 February 2013 at 03:53 AM
My all-time favorite: "Don't walk too hard in front of the tv." (The picture would sometimes "flip"...back in the ol' analog days!
Posted by: Kim | 02 February 2013 at 04:18 AM
i love my mother, my father is sane but i love him too.
Posted by: polish faruri | 07 February 2013 at 02:03 PM
I love both of them like no other. I really appreciate your work and I’ll be looking forward to do this.
Posted by: Sophie @ E Cigarette | 08 February 2013 at 08:10 AM
My Mom was ultra strict and I always believed that I would be the exact opposite but, lo and behold.... I am rather strict with my daughter (not so much with my son). Often I hear my Mother's voice coming out of my mouth - in fact, when my Mom's at my house, she'll mutter, "mmmm... sounds familiar" :)
Posted by: Wobs | 13 February 2013 at 12:51 PM
Oh, goodness. I do say things they used to say. I am a full combination of both parents, but probably a little more like my father than my mother--Dad is the more patient of the two.
"If you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all." Classic.
"Lips together." Easier to understand than "chew with your mouth closed."
"Cut your head in!" I never understood what he meant til I was an adult, and my kids are puzzled by it as well, but it basically means "Think!"
Posted by: mellie | 13 February 2013 at 10:04 PM
When I was a kid and would ask my mom for something, she would often say "We'll see" instead of just yes or no. I started to say to her "no sees!". I think she was trying to avoid saying no and didn't want to deal with my disappointment if she said no.
I of course, say that to my children all time time. Or I'll say that I'm thinking about it. And my kids give me about 30 seconds to consider the question and then ask me if I've thought about it enough.
Posted by: Wendy | 14 February 2013 at 08:34 PM
I would hate to have an 'arms length' mother.
I can't imagine that. My parenting style is hugs, hugs, hugs. My mother's parenting style was the same.
Parenting at arm's length? Not my style. Not one bit.
Posted by: abc | 15 February 2013 at 12:06 AM