So Close

Tips for a novice runner

I am very hesitant to admit this out loud for fear of public failure, but I think maybe I might perhaps consider maybe wanting to take up running.  Kind of.  And by running, I mean an occasional gentle trot.  

I know!!  Who am I?? What has happened to the exercise-phobic wine-drinking Tertia we know and loathe??

Well, don't despair - I am still exercise phobic and I will never, ever give up my beloved wine.  However, I am quite keen on being slim and fit.  I've been going to gym for a while now and although I never LOVE going, I do love the results.  Us middle aged folk need to put in a bit of effort to stay healthy.

I've never been keen on running (I have a car, why on earth would I want to run anywhere??) but after seeing two of my friends Tanya and Liesl who are totally normal assholes just like me do the running thing I thought if they can do it, surely I can do it too.  I have another friend Kirsten who went from zero to running races in what seems like 5 mins and is now totally addicted.  Then I read a fabulous post on my friend Snick's blog about her taking up running and I thought - this is a sign!  All these seemingly normal folk running!  Perhaps I should give this running thing a try.

I love the idea of running - quick, fuss free, outside, cheap, healthy, good for you etc, but I am not sure I will be able to do it, its damn hard!  How on earth do people run for so far and so long?  I can run for about 200 meters or 3 minutes and I need to slow down to a walk or else my heart will explode out my chest. Perhaps I am not designed to run? Perhaps tall, slim'ish women with big (fake) boobs and skinny long legs aren't designed to run? (Picture an ostrich in full flight) Perhaps I am doing it wrong?

I have been working on getting fit. I have two sessions with a personal trainer at the gym twice a week and we do strength exercises.  To tone etc.  In between I have been walking every day too. Brisk walks where I work up a sweat. I feel as if my fitness levels really have increased and yet when I try to break out into a trot, I can only manage a few minutes.  My biggest problem - I get a stitch after a few minutes.  I feel as if my body is strong enough to carry on running but the stitch becomes so painful, I need to slow down to a walk. WHY IS IT SO HARD?? I must say I get quite despondent about it, its very frustrating.  The body and mind seem willing, but the (whatever causes the stitch) doesn't want to cooperate.

Who knew running could be so hard, I've been doing it since I was a year old which is like 25 years ago! There is so much I don't know.  Like:  

• What causes a stitch? How do I prevent it?
• Whats the best sports bra to use?
• What shoes should I get?
• I would love to run with a friend, but I am shy in case I really do suck and then I hold them back? 
• When is the best time to run? Morning? Evening?
• How do I make sure I enjoy running?
• Is running at the gym the same as running outside?
• How do I improve? How do I go from running non stop for 3 minutes to 5 minutes to 10 minutes? Will I ever improve? 
• Why is it so hard for me?  Or rather, why does it look so effortless for everyone else? It is not like I am unfit or not exercising at all.  
• What is a running club about?  Does it help?  Running clubs remind me of skinny athletes who can run for 3 hours without breaking a sweat. How intimidating.
• Do I even need to run? I am doing a really brisk walk anyway - how much better (calories / fitness) is running compared to walking?
• What I would really like to do is be able to run for 30 minutes non stop. It seems so far away at the moment.

I need your tips and advice. What are the three top tips you would give to anyone considering taking up running?

Fuck. I am exhausted just from writing this post. I think I am going to have a little lie down while I wait for your response.

Happy birthday Maxie boy

Three years ago he made headlines. He might be three years old today but he will always be my baby.  Happy birthday big boy!  Mommy loves you millions xx

Warrior Eli is a hoax

Thanks to the efforts of a few concerned people, it has been uncovered that Warrior Eli is a hoax.  A sickening, horrible, disgusting hoax that conned thousands of people across the world into believing a little boy had cancer and that his mother died. Many reputable organizations were deceived into believing the story was real.  People like Battle4aCure, Little Fighters Cancer Trust, Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation among others.  It is all the work of a disturbed young woman in North America.  Full details are here:  http://warriorelihoax.wordpress.com/

The thing that upsets me most of all is that this sick person used something as heartbreaking as childhood cancer to manipulate people into believing the hoax.  We all have our secret fears.  Mine is childhood cancer.  I am terrified about it, I worry about it more than I should, so this hit very close to home.  More than the stolen images of my children, it was the fact that this woman used childhood cancer to manipulate people that really upset me.   

Besides the photos of my chilidren (there are over 50 stolen images of my children), this disturbed woman stole the identity of a little boy and his mother, a little boy who really did have cancer.  His mother was eventually contacted yesterday and posted a comment on my blog today:

"I'm saddened (and sickened) that somebody used my photos and the photos of my son to spout those stories over the weekend (as part of the "Warrior Eli" scam), much as they appear to have done with your photos. What is WRONG with people? THAT's ME (in the picture on Facebook), but I'm not dead... my son's not dead. He's healthy and happy. He did have cancer, but he's been in remission (I'm so thankful). BUT, they did more than "just" lie! When those people use the stories of REAL kids (OUR KIDS) as part of scams, it makes it harder to raise money for our REAL kids who need it. I've never been afraid to tell my son's story. I've told anyone who would listen, and even those who turn away. I'm not ashamed of my little boy; I'm so proud of what a strong little man he's become (he has conquered cancer, and he's the most amazing kid any mother could hope for). But, now, I understand why there are those who keep the stories (and the images) of their kids private and let their stories remain unsaid. When someone can tear at the very core of what he has gone through--turn it into something so wrong... play on emotions... How many people cried when they heard/read the story of the kid with cancer and the mother who was killed in a car crash right before mother's day? Well, I'm upset... but it also makes me all the more determined. It's not play. I look at the pictures that they stole, and I remember the moments that those images represent. My little boy almost died. The cancer kept coming back. I wouldn't wish that (any of it) on my worst enemy. And, yet, somebody tried to claim that the pain could EVER be theirs. Ironically, while this person was spreading all their lies, my son and I were hanging out with the most amazing group of people, who were all raising money to let another kid have a wish come true (Make-a-Wish New Mexico). It's my wish that this horrible episode will be turned into something positive."

To everyone who was taken in by this hoax, please don't let it stop you from reaching out to people who really do need your love and support.  Don't let one sick individual ruin it for everyone.

To the young woman who did this:  You need help, I urge you to seek professional help.  Before you harm anyone else, before you harm yourself.

I am glad it over.

Updated: Someone is stealing pics of my kids and using them as their own. Again.

It has just come to my attention that once again someone has taken photos of my children and used it as their own.  I feel sick.

Even more concerning, they are raising funds for one of their children who supposedly has cancer and apparently the mother died yesterday.

The facebook page for the little boy with cancer already has 6500 likes.  6500 likes!  That is a LOT of people who were duped.  The mother supposedly died yesterday and already $1200 has been donated within a few hours (before I was alerted to the scam). 

I have to go out now so there isn't much I can do right now, but I have taken copies of everything.  What I want to do ASAP is stop people donating money to what is quite possibly a sham. Sickening.

The children 'Lily' and 'Jade' are Adam and Kate.  The photos are of them when they were about three years old.

Both the husband and the deceased wife have photos of my children on their FB profiles, including a photo of Adam when he was in hospital. That actually pissed me off the most.

Why do people do this? Why do they think they can get away with this?  This is the internet for heaven's sake!!! People read what you write. Jeez.

What should I do? 

**Updated:  The scammers have obviously woken up this morning to discover they have been caught out, the pages are slowly being taken down. The so-called 'husband' has also removed all photos from his FB profile. Bust!  For a full expose, read here:  http://warriorelihoax.wordpress.com/**

**Updated again:  The team from the fund-raising page has taken the page offline, thank goodness. Thanks to Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for responding immediately and taking the page offline while they investigate**

I am obviously not wildly excited that he/she stole photos of my kids but what really, REALLY upsets me is that they played on the feelings of several thousand people by pretending to have a child with cancer. That to me is totally unacceptable. They should be prosecuted.

The fund-raising page: http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/83133

The father's blog: http://crazycanuckj.xanga.com/

The father's FB profile:  https://www.facebook.com/crazycanuckj

The mother's FB profile:  https://www.facebook.com/dana.dev

The FB profile of the boy with cancer: https://www.facebook.com/warrioreli

Photobucket page: http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b140/crazycanuckj/#!cpZZ17QQtppZZ36

Some screen grabs:

More screen shots:

We had a dream

Conversation while driving in the car:

Me: I had such odd dreams last night. I dreamt about a new store opening, about Kate's teacher and that I had an argument with my friend about a school circular.  

Adam: I had a dream that I was fighting a killer scorpion that I killed with a needle and then it died and I moved to the next level and got 500 points. (Eek! I really don't let him play games with violence!)

Kate: I dreamt about a cuddly owl

Marko:  I dreamt about Mom. I always dream about Mom. (One track mind!)

Adam:  I think Max probably dreamt about socks. (No idea why socks.)

Just about perfectly sums us up.  I am dreaming about shopping, school and my To Do list, Adam is dreaming about computer games, Kate is in her dream world filled with animals, Marko is dreaming about sex (at least it is sex with me) and Max.... well, we aren't sure yet. Hopefully his life is not about socks. 

Won't be getting a sports scholarship anytime soon

Kate had her first netball match today and I was once again reminded that while my children have many talents, natural sporting ability is not one of them.

I am afraid my children have inherited my balls skills.  To illustrate just how good I was at sport, when I was 6 years old the tennis coach gently suggested to my mother that perhaps her money would be better spent in other endeavours - I was so bad that the tennis coach didn't want to take my mother's money.  My children are probably about as good as I was.

Adam is enthusiastic and unbelievably unaware just how um, not-so-good he is. He is convinced that he is really good at rugby. And all other sports. Kate is totally unenthusiastic and is only doing sport because I am making her do it.  She says netball is boring, long and hot.  Kate's best defensive shot today was when the ball accidentally ricocheted off her head and out of the opponents hands.  On the plus side, she became good friends with her opposing number in the other team.  Half way through the game she shouted to me "Mom, this is my new friend, her name is Thumelo". 

Adam played a rugby match last week.  It was pouring with rain.  The players jogged off to their respective fields and the parents followed suit a few minutes later.  I walked to where the B team was playing (there are only two teams) but Adam was nowhere to be found. Perhaps they were a player short and Adam got a slot in the A team, I thought. I walked across (in the rain) to the other field.  The A team were playing but Adam wasn't on the field. Slightly panicked, I looked around and there he was skipping along, playing next to the field.  Apparently he was the reserve. "In case anyone gets injured, mom" he said, looking quite chuffed with himself.  I think he was secretly pleased as he is not very fond of getting tackled. At all. 

5 minutes into the game (the total game is only 20 minutes long), Adam is nowhere to be seen again.  Eventually, after 5 long minutes - a full 25% of the game, he comes strolling back. "Where have you been??" I ask.  "Oh, I went to have a poo" he said.  He went to have a poo while the rugby game is on!! Thank god none of the players did get injured because their reserve was busy having a poo.

Eventually he gets a turn to play.  As everyone is running red-faced up the field, tackling and pushing, there is Adam on the field, catching rain drops on his tongue, completely oblivious to the couch screaming from the sides.  He was replaced shortly afterwards.

I don't mind (at all) that my children aren't star sportsmen.  Maybe they will be one day, who knows.  Probably not, and that is completely ok.  They are good at lots of other things.  I do however want them to have fun and to experience the lessons you learn with playing school sports.  Lessons like team work, like winning and losing.  About commitment and practice.  About playing even when you don't want to. Which is what I keep telling myself when they ask why they HAVE to play sports and can't they rather not go to rugby/netball today.  

And anyway, my children are going to be computer geniuses and develop some amazing software program which they are going to sell for billions and then support me through my old age so that I can buy a beach house, retire early and drink Chardonnay all day.  

At least there is always Max. The last great sporting hope for the Albertyn family. (Although, I have to say, it doesn't look very good there either. Unless there is a sport for dummy-sucking, nappy-wearing and tantrum-throwing, in which case WOO HOOO!!  We are totally going to kick ass in that sport.)

PS just come back from a 10 day holiday with the family.  Was divine but so very, very behind with my work :(

Pic from Adam's first rugby match: