So Close

Hand me downs = The Infertile's Cherry on Top

When (if) you finally have a baby after trying for so long to conceive, there are many wonderful, butterflies-in-the-tummy moments that make you realize how incredibly lucky you are.  I am not talking about the traditional 'wonderful' moments like holding your baby in your arms, the first smile, the first step etc. I am talking about ordinary, seemingly insignificant moments that give you that huge rush of joy. Normal parenting moments that fill you with gratitude about what you have.  I am talking about tripping over a forgotten toy in the lounge and thinking "omg!  I have toys in my lounge! Which means I have a baby!".  Moments when you find a forgotten, full-of-old-fluff dummy (pacifier) in your handbag and your heart does a flip: "I have a dummy!! In my handbag! ME! I am a mom!".  Ordinary moments like picking up a half-eaten peanut butter sandwich, getting up in the middle of the night to soothe a bad dream, putting 5 bucks in the merry go round.  Even though my twins are almost 7, I still get those butterfly-in-the-tummy reminders often. (When I am not thinking murderous thoughts about how naughty they are!)

But you know what the biggest rush is, the biggest thrill, the biggest reminder how incredibly lucky I am?  Hand-me-downs.  

When you are going through infertility you obviously have some hope that you will one day have a child. If you had no hope, you wouldn't continue trying.  But never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would be in the situation where I would use my own hand-me-downs.  Succeeding once (with a singleton or more) is what I was hoping for. Succeeding again with a second (third) child, having the opportunity to have hand-me-downs never entered my mind.

When I see Max wearing something Adam wore (or claiming Kate's old pink scooter as his own), I am blown away with how incredibly lucky I am.  So lucky, it almost seems greedy.  Not only did I have the opportunity to dress a child in that item of clothing, but I had the opportunity to do it AGAIN!  It just blows my mind.  

Hand me downs are the ultimate cherry on top for any infertile.  And ultimate proof that I am lucky beyond my wildest dreams.  

PS Because I was convinced I would never have another child, I gave away all of Adam's and Kate's clothes to charity when they were about three.  Which means I am only now reaping the rewards of hand-me-downs. I had no baby clothes left when I was pregnant with Max!  It was a kind, but expensive gesture on my part.  Luckily because he was a second (third) baby, he survived on the bare minimum. 

PPS Even though I have three children, because the first two came as a package deal, Max is like a second child.  Although, if he was measured on the chaos and mess he causes, one could argue he is like a second, third and fourth child all rolled into one. That child is, um, busy.  

Adam and Kate: "Mom! Take a picture of our butts".  Such refined children. 

Averaging out on the positive side

This is Adam's letter to me.  There are 10 "I love you"s and five "I hate you"s.  So on average, he loves me more than he hates me.  Which is a good thing.  As long as the positives outweigh the negatives, we know we are winning.

The reason why there are five "I hate you"s is that I would not give him a sweet.  Things did improve after a while and this letter followed (this is me in a racing car):

The press release

(cool huh!)

TERTIA ALBERTYN TO BE HONORED AT RESOLVE’S NIGHT OF HOPE   RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Recognizes Outstanding Contributions to the Family Building Community

(McLean, VA, August 23, 2011) – RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association is pleased to announce that Tertia Albertyn will be honored with the 2011 Hope Award for Best Book for So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope.  Albertyn will accept her award at RESOLVE’s Night of Hope Gala on September 13, 2011 at Guastavino’s in New York City. As the organization that supports and provides voice for people diagnosed with infertility, RESOLVE established the Hope Awards to recognize professionals, companies, volunteers and the media who have demonstrated innovation and compassion to benefit people struggling with infertility.

 So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope is the honest, heart wrenching, exhilarating story of Albertyn's battle with infertility.  The acerbically funny Albertyn takes you through her long, agonizing journey – including nine IVFs – to motherhood. 

 “I am absolutely thrilled to have been honoured by the infertility community with this award.  Support by those who ‘got it’ was what got me through my struggle to conceive, I am so pleased I am able to offer similar support to those who are still on the infertility journey” said Albertyn.

Albertyn is a seasoned infertility veteran and now mother to three kids.  Her popular blog (www.tertia.org) was rated the top blog in South Africa in 2007, 2008 and 2009.  In the five years, nine IVFs and many losses it took to conceive her twins she has seen and done it all.  In 2007, she cofounded South Africa’s biggest infertility support portal (www.fertilicare.org) and in 2008 she launched Nurture, the country’s premier Egg Donor and Surrogacy program (www.nurture.co.za).  Tertia has a MBA from the University of Cape Town and lives in Cape Town, South Africa with her husband, the IVF twins and the surprise baby. 

“RESOLVE is delighted to recognize Tertia Albertyn for speaking out and sharing her journey with us,” said Barbara Collura, RESOLVE’s Executive Director.  “The Night of Hope is a special opportunity to come together and thank all those who work tirelessly to improve the lives of the 7.3 million women and men in the U.S. facing infertility.”

The 14^th Annual Night of Hope attracts more than 300 leaders and influencers in the family building community.  Past Hope Award recipients include The TODAY Show, The View, Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and Church & Dwight, makers of First Response®.

For press information in regard to covering the Night of Hope event, contact Andy Schwarz at [email protected]. For more information on the Night of Hope, visit www.resolve.org/nightofhope.

RESOLVE gratefully acknowledges the 2011 Night of Hope Big Apple sponsors: Attain Fertility, EMD Serono, Ferring Pharmaceuticals and Merck.                                                                              

About RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association:  Established in 1974, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association is a non-profit organization with the only established, nationwide network mandated to promote reproductive health and to ensure equal access to all family building options for men and women experiencing infertility or other reproductive disorders. One in eight U.S. couples of childbearing age is diagnosed with infertility. RESOLVE addresses this public health issue by providing community to these women and men, connecting them with others who can help, empowering them to find resolution and giving voice to their demands for access to all family building options.  For more information, visit www.RESOLVE.org.

I can't even boil an egg

Yesterday I tried to cook again, and I was once again reminded (a) that I HATE cooking and (b) that I suck at it.

I decided to make some boiled eggs.  We were having a salad kind of supper (cold roast chicken (store bought, obviously), tomatoes, cucumbers etc) and I thought a few boiled eggs would go nicely with the salad.  Plus I could mix the leftover eggs with mayonnaise to put on the sandwiches the next morning. Win.

It started off badly.  The friend I phoned to find out how to boil the eggs didn't answer her phone.  I was left to try and figure out how long to boil the eggs / whether to put the water in first or the eggs in first / whether the water should be hot or cold - so complicated!! (Good friends are so hard to find).  I eventually phoned another friend who told me what to do.  'Eight minutes from the time the water boils, warm water is fine'. Got it. 

Unfortunately I got distracted and didn't see what time the water started bubbling and then had to guess whether one minute had passed or five.  Which was extremely stressful. Thank goodness my guess of 2 minutes past / 6 minutes remaining was close enough and not one egg cracked. So proud.

I then started to make the egg and mayonnaise sandwiches only to discover that the mayonnaise had expired in January 2011.  Right. No mayonnaise with our egg and mayonnaise sandwich. It was all too much for me and I gave up for the night. I put the boiled eggs in tupperware and abandoned my cooking attempt.

This morning I woke up early to make sandwiches.  I crumbled (crushed?) the boiled eggs in the tupperware and sprinkled it on the sandwiches.  Unfortunately the crumbled boiled eggs spilled out the tupperware all over the floor.  At 6am.  I managed to salvage some of it and put it on the bread, cut the sandwiches into quarters and wrap it in lunch wrap.  Only to realize I had forgotten to put salt and pepper on the boiled eggs.  I briefly contemplated leaving it as is but after missing out on 50% of the ingredients in the egg and mayo sandwich, I thought the least I could do was add a bit of salt and pepper.  So I had to unwrap the sandwiches, peel off the bread, add the salt and pepper, put the bread back, wrap it again and put it in a packet for Marko's lunch. And then get on my hands and knees, at 6am after a night of disturbed sleep because SOMEONE was snoring like a tractor, and scrape the remaining boiled egg off the kitchen floor and throw it away.

It was then that I realized that I will never, ever like cooking and I will never, ever be any good at it.  

When I say I can't even boil an egg, I really mean I can't even boil an egg.  

NYC meet up

The NYC meet up is on! Any friends-in-the-computer who are keen to meet up with me in NYC please email me (tertiaa at gmail.com) and let me know. Sat 10th September at 5pm. Park Slope, NYC. Thanks to my friend-in-the-computer Louise Sloan for offering to host the get-together.

 

Expired in 2005

Look what surfaced recently! Unfortuantely I had to point out that the offer had expired in 2005 and that the voucher was only redeemable once. Such a pity. 

(This one especially for Boulder and all the other friends in the computer from way back then)

Prepaid SIMs in NY

Hello all, sorry to be using you as my personal Google but I have spent an hour trying to find the answer and I still don't know what is going on.

I want to get a prepaid SIM for my Blackberry when I arrive in New York, and I would like to get a prepaid data microsim for my 3G modem (Vodafone stick) for my laptop.

• Does the USA do prepaid SIMs for Blackberry phones? (my handset is unlocked)
• Does the USA do prepaid data microsims?
• What is the best option / plan for me to take for? (I don't need much talk time, I want it for the data coverage)
• Would it be possible to get these at JFK? If so, where?

Data roaming charges are HUGE for South Africans abroad and so I don't want to enable data roaming on my phone.  The hotel charges for WIFI.

Help!

More New York questions....

Right - if you only had 4 days in New York, what are you absolute must do / must see things?

Things that Marko and I are interested in:  bargain/discount shopping for electronics, kids stuff, toys, clothes etc.  We will take a walk past the fancy shops but we aren't the designer gear types.

We would love to see all the touristy things like Top of the Rock etc, so will definitely do a tour of some sorts (any suggestions? Was thinking of getting the hop-on/hop-off bus ticket).  We definitely want to see some of the places that we only see / hear about in movies - central park, times square etc.

We aren't into eating at fancy restaurants and would far prefer to eat a sandwich (suggestions?) and spend our money on bargains.  

Then, can I wear flipflops when I walk around New York?  Will I be able to go into all the shops / cafes if I am wearing flipflops, T shirt and shorts?  

Have I mentioned how excited we are??

New York, here I come!

I am coming to America!!!  Woo hoo!! Flight booked, hotel booked, wallet emptied.  Marko and I will be in New York from the 9th September until the 14th September.  As I said to my best asshole-friend in the computer Julie, I can't believe I am going to see the Americans up close in their natural habitat.  You know how you all go on safaris in Africa and take pictures of the locals etc? I am going to be doing that when I get to New York.  "Look!! An American grazing! Quick, take a pic!"

So excited!  Even more excited that I am (hopefully) going to meet up with people that I have known for years and years online (Two of them are definitely coming. Cecily! My friend Kristen!) and now will eventually meet IRL. 

Speaking of which:  When would be a good time to get together? I thought Saturday the 10th September might be good.  A day over the weekend so that people can take time off?  Where?  What time?  Late afternoon coffee / drinks? Definitely do not want to go to swanky / posh place where you have to shout to be heard and where one drink costs an arm and a leg, so somewhere really low key and casual would be great. I know it is the weekend of the September 11 ten year anniversary so I am not sure if Saturday would be a bad idea?  

I am quite anxious about being in New York for the Sep 11 anniversary.  Which is funny because I live in one of the most dangerous countries in the world (according to murder / rape stats) and here I am nervous to come to America, supposedly one of the safest countries to be.  Its just that I know our kind of danger.  Foreign danger seems scary.  But I am not going to let the terrorists win by filling me with terror.  

I am probably going to drive you all crazy with questions about what to do / where to go etc.  I am just SO excited about the opportunity to go to America.

So, first question is:  What day is a good day to meet up and where would you suggest?  And who is able to join us? 

(Can't wait to ask you the next questions! Got millions!)

 

Want to see the kids and I in the flesh (so to speak)?

Here is a copy of the TV interview online (click link below).  The segment is called "Infertility Inspirational".  

http://www.hellodoctor.com/home/tv.html