Ageing Ungracefully

You know what really gets up my nose?  When you talk to people about things like plastic surgery / aesthetic treatments / Botox etc and their immediately reaction is "Oh I would NEVER do any of that - I want to age gracefully"

Darling, there is nothing particularly graceful about aging. It is a bloody brutal process.

I know some pretty graceful older women who just happen to have indulged in a little bit of 'help' here and there.  Sure, a frozen, over-stretched face is not graceful, but neither is a face that looks like an old leather couch.  Wrinkles might be natural, they might be beautiful but their presence or lack thereof don't determine how graceful you are. 

Good lord it sucks getting old. It's like my body waited until it turned 40 (and gave birth to my third (living) child) and said "hello gravity, my name is Tertia - lets get a little closer and have a chat".  Cracks and crevices are appearing all over the show. I even have wrinkles appearing in my eyebrows! MY EYEBROWS!!!  Is nothing sacred around here? 

As I stared at the crevice the size of the Grand Canyon between my eyebrows, I thought briefly about doing Botox. As is "farking hell, I should have started Botox 10 years ago already". If this crevice gets any bigger, my whole head might fall through the gap.  I've decided against it mostly because I just can't see myself injecting R3,000 into my forehead every second month.  I just don't have the money for that. And because I think its a pretty fruitless exercise.  At some point I would have to stop doing it and what the hell - I am 42 years old, there is no escaping that. You can delay the wrinkles, you can't escape them forever. I've decide I'd rather save the R3,000 every second month and learn to live with the wrinkles*.  Besides which, I know that getting Botox would just be a slippery slope into other things - next thing I would be expected to wear make up, have my hair done and stop wearing T shirts, shorts and flip flops.  I just can't take that chance.  Life is too short to wear make up or uncomfortable shoes ;)

Actually, there is no real point to this post (besides me having a little rant about the 'aging gracefully' chirp) except to say the following:

Just as we shouldn't judge those who choose to colour their grey hair, or wear a push up bra to add perkiness where there isn't any, we shouldn't judge those who decide to get a nip, a tuck or a bit of Botox here and there.  To imply that those who chose to get Botox / plastic surgery are 'ungraceful' is unfair and inaccurate.

Each to their own. If you are happy with your choice, no matter what it is, then I reckon you're about half way there to be graceful about this aging thing - no matter how (un)frozen your forehead is.

* As you know, I am not afraid of Botox (done twice before a few years ago) or plastic surgery (exhibit A - perky, fake boobs). At the moment, I've decided that I am done with that - but who knows! I might revisit it some day. Never say never my dears! 

Comments

[Jillian]

Thank you! Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. I am not at all happy about it. Currently thinking of head-to-toe surgical alterations, but that is probably just date panic talking. Whatever I decide to do or not do, it's nice to know you have my back.

[Megan]

I don't have a problem with surgery, but I'm not a big fan of Botox. Each batch of Botox is tested on an animal to make sure it has the correct strength to freeze your wrinkles, and that's done by paralyzing the animal by injecting it with the toxin and letting it die -- which usually takes 3 days.

Humane Society of US article on Botox testing

Yeech.

[a]

I'm still refusing to color my hair because I don't want to commit to that sort of expense for the rest of my life. I am considering getting myself some fake perky boobs, though. Unfortunately, I'd need some liposuction to complement that and a facelift so I wouldn't look like I'd had a head transplant from someone older. So maybe I'll just sink into my decline...ungracefully, though.

[RC]

Damn woman you are a funny writer. I love the comment about your head falling through the crevice on your face. I'm hitting 42 this year and hell yes it is hard getting older. Especially for women. *sigh* I just can't see myself getting botox. Too much money and I'm definitely not a fan of needles. But I'll color my hair until the day I die. ;-)

[Angel]

LOL, if I can afford it I am so going with plastic surgery and such so that I can look like I am aging gracefully!
:P

[Happy Troll]

This post had me cracking up that I ended up having to read it to my entire office! Old Age is terrifying!

[lolismum]

I agree. If I was not afraid of surgery, I would definitely do a little nip and tuck here and there,nothing drastic. 2 kids, years of breastfeeding, lots of sleepness nights, and years of work have taken a huge toll on my body, too. Yes, aging gracefully is reserved for those who have had little stress in life and lots of money/time to tend to themselves or those who got some "help". Because I am 40 and body parts are drooping, sagging, wrinkling, creaking, aching, whitening and growing hair at an alarming rate and I don't think I am an outlier.

[Sara]

I'm an elderly 42, and couldn't agree more. If there was a free, painless, and risk-free way of perking everything up, I'd be on it faster than you can say "aging sucks!"

[Tania]

I also have 3 kids and I think, in exchange for having those 3 kids I deserve to have new boobs and a new tummy. As soon as I lose that damn baby weight..

[JennJenn]

I'm all about perky plastic! I'm even half way to having my own! (I decided... now I'm saving)

[One of Two Mommies]

Now Tertia, for us to really comment in an informed manner I think it would be best if you posted close up facial shots. Say one from 10 years ago, 5 years ago, and a more recent one. Preferable shots taken just after you've woken up and before you've washed your face, done your hair, or anything else. :-)

[John]

I m very please to read your post. I would say great post. thanks for share.

[Di]

Luv it! And totally agree not to the extent of like Jordan, but it would be a definite yes to the botox, I have already done the boobs after baby number 2. Tummy Tuck check.
I'm pysching myself up for some lipo. :)

Enjoying your blog and congrats on the award!

...new to the blogging world, feel free to peruse if you have the time.

http://chaoticultureclan.wordpress.com

[Rachel]

I just want a magic wand to put everything back where it was when I was 21.

I can understand being anti-plastic surgery if you look at a lot of Hollywood. Especially the celebrities that waited until they were really showing their age before they started the facelifts. They look all stretched out and laquered. I can also, somewhat, understand being against it if the client is doing it to improve their self worth. It seems like if you don't like yourself with small boobs or a big nose you probably won't like yourself with big boobs or a small nose either. It would be great if there were some sort of therapy required beforehand to make sure people's heads are in a good place first. I've seen a number of people harm themselves with too much surgery when what they really need is a shrink. On the other hand some people really do feel better about themselves after one procedure, like Rose and her boobs.

While I would do some plasic surgery if I had the money (I have a huge rack and I'm going to be tripping over my boobs in a few years), I wouldn't do botox. There have been a couple studies about botox recently. One concluded that the reduced mobility of the muscles actually reduces the ability to recognize emotions in others, it has to do with the way we mirror people. The other study determined that it reduced the ability to experience emotions, apparently without being able to fully express the emotion outwardly because of the reduced mobility of forehead muscles the brain doesn't process the emotion. Between that and the lack of any long term study (we won't know for 20 years or more if Botox increases your risk of disease or shortens your lifespan) it's not worth it. I'd feel like I was paying to be a drug company guinea pig.

Whether I do plastic surgery or not, I'll age gracefully. It's all how you carry it off.