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My shoe collection

Santa's not going to be very happy with Adam

Firstly Adam insisted on coming with me to Woollies to do the grocery shopping. Even though I said it would be boring.  

Five minutes after we got there, he said he was cold and asked how much longer I was going to take. He asked this a further five times in the next five minutes.

Another five minutes later he said he needed to pee URGENTLY. This even though I specifically TOLD him to make a wee before we left but he assured me that he had just done so. LIAR. We had to park the shopping cart, ask security to allow us into the staff section to use the staff loo.  Back again, continue with the shopping.  "Mom, how much longer are you going to take?

Then he made me buy him an advent calender.

When we got home he asked me to help him with something (open something that was sealed shut).  I told him it was impossible and so he tried to do it himself. It broke.  Which apparently was all my fault. I laughed.  Which apparently was VERY UGLY of me.  

He then threatened to to throw the advent calender at me. How very un-Yule'ish.  

I don't think Santa is going to be very happy with Adam this year.  In fact, Santa might just go pour herself a glass of wine and eat those advent chocolates herself.

PS looking SO forward to the looooooooooong school holidays coming up!  Can't wait!!

How to break up with someone without hurting their feelings

A friend in the computer would like your advice on something

The situation is as follows:  The friend-in-the-computer has a mommy group that meets once a week with the kids.  All the kids are more or less the same age, 2 and under.  The moms meet and chat and bond and drink coffee and talk (moan) about their husbands and their kids and their cellulite etc while the kids play.

The moms are similar'ish - some are older, some are younger; some work, some don't.  But they obviously have enough to common to want to get together each week to bond.  All of them except for one.  There is one mom in the group who rubs the other moms up the wrong way.  They say she is a little too over powering, a little too insensitive, a little too opinionated.  She isn't a bad person as such, she just tends to rub other people up the wrong way.  And now the rest of the moms don't want her there any more.  

However, as if breaking up with someone isn't hard enough, it gets a little more complicated.... this woman's husband works with the friend-in-the-computer's husband. Which makes Option A (faking her own death) and Option B (getting the entire mommy group to relocate to another country) rather difficult for my friend.

My friend-in-the-computer is torn between wanting to spare this woman's feelings and also wanting to protect the great group dynamic among the other moms. The general consensus among the group is that they need to break up with the woman, but no one knows how.  

Should the woman be told that she is rubbing people up the wrong way and be given a chance to change? Should the other's just put their big girl blouses on and deal with her? Or should majority rule - the woman must go?  If you were 'the woman' in question, what would you like to have happen?  Would you like to be told the truth?  Or would you prefer to be let down gently by little white lie? And what little white lies would work in a case like this?

How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?  

The evil, interfering mother-in-law

How could I describe my mother-in-law?  Interfering? Know-it-all? Disapproving? Shit-stirrer? Obsessed about her son? Painful?  

I could use those words, but I would be lying. I am very fortunate that I have a great mother in law.  And not because she is like a second mother to me, I already have a mother who is the best mother in the world so I don't need a second mother.  I actually just like my mother in law as a person, very much. I am really lucky. She doesn't interfere, she doesn't judge.  She doesn't think I am not good enough for son.  Or at least that I know of ;-)  My mother in law accepts me as the way I am - a woman who is older than her son, a non-cooking, undomesticated previous infertile who doesn't speak the same home language as she does and who makes her bring her own food for Sunday lunch.  Not exactly stellar credentials as a daughter in law.  

I know I am lucky, there are many who have mothers in law who could easily fit the description in the first paragraph.  My mother in law rocks.

Dankie Ma, ek is baie lief vir jou.  

PS Naturally, I will be a fantastic mother in law one day. That is of course, if there existed a future partner for my children who could ever be good enough for my precious darlings. Highly likely. 

 

The importance of kids doing sport

I am not a very sporty person.  It is not that I am lazy (in fact, some would suggest that I am the definitive antonym for 'lazy'), it is not that I don't enjoy the concept of sport (I would far rather watch sports on the TV than a movie), it is just that sports never did feature very largely in my childhood.  Which could or could not have had something to do with the fact that I am not very good at sports.  And by 'not very good' I mean fucking useless.  When I was 6 years old, the tennis coach gently suggested to my mother that perhaps my time and her money would be best spent elsewhere. How rude!

I did try now and then. I was a fairly good cross country runner and a fair to average high jumper (it helped being tall).  I also played for the 5th hockey team in high school.  (Never mind that there were only five hockey teams in total and my team mates were either sporting very thick-rimmed spectacles or otherwise a prosthetic limb, at least I was in the team!) Besides the lack of skill, I am also not very competitive. It doesn't make for very good sporting potential.

So bearing all that in mind, it is suffice to say that as far as school sports go, I am pretty clueless.  Which is why I am a bit confused when people say with some concern: "it's a good school academically, but they aren't very good at sports".  What does that mean and is it important??? Help!

Before about two years ago, I didn't spend more than 0,5 seconds considering which school my kids would go to. When I grew up there was one English primary school and one English high school.  Unless you were a boarder at a school far away, you went to the local English school if you were English. Today things are different. We have 3 private schools in the area and a few public schools and apparently when considering the VERY important question of where your kids should go to school, you should choose a school that is "good at sports".  

Why?  Why should I choose a school that is good at sports? And that is not a facetious question at all. I am a bit naive when it comes to the school thing so I need some help to understand  why "being good at sports" is something I should consider when deciding on my kids' future school.  Is it because if kids don't do sport, they will do drugs?  Is it better for kids to do sports?  Will my children be worse off if they don't attend a school that is good at sports? Will they inherit my appalling sporting abilities and be doomed to a life in the 5th team?  Will they even care?

I must say, I find this choosing-the-right-school thing all a bit overwhelming. I want to do whatever I can do to ensure that my children have the best possible chance at future success and happiness, but there seems to be so much involved that I am not sure I am ever going to get it right.  My children were the only two of three kids who didn't get into the local pre-school because I didn't know you had to book them in at birth.  This even though I tried to bribe my way in with the offer of donating a jungle gym.  That didn't go down well.  In hindsight, I am really glad because they ended up at a fantastic private school that I am so happy with, but after all of that I must confess to being a little gun-shy when it comes planning ahead for schooling.

Help me out here dear friends-in-the-computer, what should I consider when looking at future schools for the kids (especially high school)?  Is being "good at sports" important, and if so, why?

PS Neither of the kids have shown any interest or affinity to any sports so far.  Kate is totally not interested and Adam seems marginally interested in kicking a ball around. 

PPS There is hope. Marko is quite talented at sports.  Lets hope they inherit my good looks, wit and charm and his sporting ability.  

London Town

My best friend and business partner Melany and I arrived in London on Tuesday morning (for the Fertility Show) after a loooooong 12 hour flight.  After taking 2349798734 hours to clear customs, get our luggage, find a cab, find the hotel etc, we finally offloaded our luggage and could relax.  For about 0,5 seconds.  We were going to take a nap and then we decided ARE YOU MAD! and decided to hit the shops instead.

OMG!  The shopping in London is unbelievable.  Seriously, you Londoners - I hope you appreciate what you have here. The choice is amazing. There are 17 different variations on everything. I have never seen so many different choices in sandwiches, hair mousse, shirts, shoes, CDs, designer wear, shampoos, deodorants... just everything.  Melany and I were like the village idiots with our mouths open.  The first day we spent about an hour in Boots just admiring the variety and choice in the haircare products.  

It is not that we dont have lovely shops in Cape Town, it is just that London has the lovely shops x100 in a 1000 different varieties. And I have heard America is even better (worse).  

Bottom line: shopping = awesome.  Expensive, but awesome.

Also, public transport system in London = awesome. You Brits are so lucky!  In South Africa there is hardly any (reliable, cheap, safe) public transport system. Here in London you just jump on the bus, hope on the tube, and there you are.  Except of course when there is a tube strike on and it takes you an HOUR to travel 10 kms. Grrr. 

** Aside:  Guy Fawkes night in London tonight. Fucking loud.  Never going to be able to get to sleep **

What has been so interesting for me to observe is how many foreigners there are in London!! Mel and I can't stop remarking on it.  In the 876'ish shops we have been into so far, about 875'ish of the shop assistants have been foreigners. Some of whom can't even speak English. It is crazy!  Where are all the English people?  So many foreigners here.  

London is an amazing place.  So hip and happening and cosmopolitan and cool etc, but I miss home. I am not sure I could live in London. The houses are so small, there are no gardens. And there is no sunshine!  I miss Africa, I miss the sunshine, the outdoors, the wide open spaces.  

London must be a fantastic place to live when you are footloose and fancy free.  We have had a great time while we have been here, one of the better trips I've had in a while, but I can't wait to get home.

Only two more sleeps till I see my husband and my kids!

PS met two fantastic blog readers today Rachel and Nicola - lovely meeting you girls :-)

PPS I have had a seriously fantastic time in London.  So lovely being here.

xx

Parenting a toddler is Hard Work for the aged

It could just be that I am getting older (very possible), but it seems to me as if Max is very, VERY um, spirited.  Lively.  Busy. (naughty!) OMG, he is busy.  He RUNS, everywhere.  He climbs, EVERYWHERE.  He dives off cupboards, he climbs up couches.  It is exhausting!

Already in his short 18 month life, he has broken more things than the twins broke. He smashed our new vase, he broke an ornament. Last week I had three lovely photos blown up and put on canvas.  It was a very expensive exercise. In the three seconds I turned my back, Max took a pen and drew all over one of the portraits.  I have to redo the portrait.  I had forgotten what 18 months is like.

And he is tough!  He is a tough cookie.  He takes absolutely no shit from his siblings. I suppose he has to be tough in order to survive those two.  He is a tough, busy, energetic little boy, and I absolutely adore him.  It is actually such a cute age.  Just not for the faint-hearted. Or the aged.