I can use other words besides the F word & I won't blog about you, promise.

I have two things I need to get off my chest.  My bra and my bright red new Ferrari shirt.  Ok, besides those two, there are two others:

1. I can use other words besides the F word and other swear words.

I do a bit of writing on the sidelines, sometimes.  And a bit of public speaking. I don't really enjoy either as they make me anxious and we all know how I feel about adding extra anxiety to my life. However, if I feel particular stirred, I will do it. It always amazes me (and pisses me off slightly) when people ask me to speak or write, they always half jokingly / half nervously say "without the swearing bit (nervous giggle), I don't mind (nervous giggle) but our audience might not (nervous giggle)". WTF? I know I swore a lot in my book but that was in the book. I hardly pepper every casual conversation with the F word. I have many conversations with these people on a day to day basis and I never use swear words. I am very aware that not everyone likes it.  Bottom line:  rest assured that I am able to write and speak  in normal conversation without swearing. Got it? Fucking A.

2. I will not write about you or your life on my blog, promise.

Another thing that drives me crazy is when people tell me something and then follow it up with "but you are not allowed to write about this on your blog!" Okkk, then. I promise not to write about a total stranger and her totally unrelated life on my blog, because - as you know - my blog is all about other people and not about me and MY life. Why on earth would I (a) want to write about someone else's life or (b) would my readers be interested in: your affair / your marital problems / your weight issues etc.  In over 6 years of blogging, have I ever given away someone's secret on my blog? Have I ever mentioned names or split someone's secret? Why on earth would you think that I would want to do that? It blows my mind.

This has come across bitchier than I intended, sorry. I am quite sure the people who say any of the above things don't mean to insult me, but I can't help but find them slightly insulting. I promise that I am more than just a foul-mouthed blogger. I have a brain, and I have discretion. Luckily for all of us, I know how to use both.

Comments

[jacki janse van rensburg]

you are not going to blog about others' affair/marital problems/weight issues? darn. what's the point of coming here then? *unfollows* :-)

[Todd]

You can f'ing write about me on your blog. Oh... you already did!

[Tertia]

Todd, that was only because you gained those extra 50 kgs while you were having an affair with the pool guy. Otherwise I would never have blogged about you.

[Angel]

Ass-umptions suck donkey balls.

[Tania]

Hey, come home already, we need to have wine! And I want to admire your bra and new red t-shirt FFS :-)

[RainbowW]

in the immortal words of george carlin: fuck the fucking fuckers.

[Bajin]

Great post! Love Todd's comment too & RainbowW & jacki's.... chuckling too much to type

[SheBee]

Christ. And all this time I thought that us bloggers were put on this earth purely to talk about others and write stories about their lives.

Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?