No sex on the beach for us

I know the moment when I became officially old. It was when I changed over from music radio to talk radio.  I love listening to happy music but it seems a terrible waste of time to be missing out on news and events that shape our world. So I would far rather listen to talk radio than to music when I drive <- see what I mean? Old.

For the last few years, I have happily had my car radio tuned to Talk Radio, unless Marko has been driving it in which case it will be tuned to music radio as Marko is a hundred years younger than I am.

But things have changed. I now have children. Children who, even though they are only five years old, insist on changing the radio to the music station.  Every morning on the way to school, we have to play the music as loud as my ears will stand it (apparently a level of volume far lower than what five year old ears can stand).  Songs will come on the radio, songs which I have never heard of, and they will say "this is my favourite song Mom!"  How can you have a favourite song, you are only five years old!!  Your favourite song was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star just yesterday, or maybe like last year or something, and now you have a favourite song on the pop chart!

Do you even say 'pop chart' any more?  The last time I listened to music was when Elvis Presley was at number one.  On the pop chart.  Ok, not really. But almost.

Anyway, I am getting more 'with it' in terms of the music.  Today a song came on that I recognized and quite liked. It has a catchy beat.  Something about bikinis on top. Daisy Dukes, Bikinis on Top, la la laaaaa.  So we turned the volume up and started singing along. Me = Tres Cool!

Except for when the lyrics change from bikinis on top to 'sex on the beach'!  OMG!  S E X!! DON'T THEY SCREEN THE SONGS FOR EXPLICIT CONTENT LIKE SEX!! I have five year olds in the car!! 

It's funny. When you aren't affected by something, it seems so far in the distant future that is appears irrelevant or unimportant. When my kids were little and people around me were going on about 'stuff', I was like 'whatever' - didn't affect me so I spent zero time thinking about it.  I'd heard people talk about how some songs have particularly explicit lyrics and I was all "chill people, its just a song".  Now my sphincter clenches each time anything remotely racy appears in the lyrics. There is something just a little off about a five year singing about "sex on the beach".  Eek and yuck!

Anyway, so be it.  The kids want to listen to music and apparently most songs are about love / kissing / sex etc.  Might have to have that birds, bees and IVF talk sooner than I wanted to.  Thanks Katy Perry, A LOT. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was a lot easier to sing along to.

PS You know how you see some of these youngsters on Idols who are totally flabbergasted when they are told that they can't actually sing? Well, I understand how that happens.  Kate  exclaims today: "Mom!  Her voice (Katy Perry) sounds EXACTLY like mine!" Suuure darling, sure.

PPS You might be wondering where this sudden burst of blogging mojo is coming from - it is because my new BFF has finally decided to blog.  Her enthusiasm and excitement about blogging (and her compelling writing) is rubbing off on me. Long may it last!

PPPs In case you are leaning towards being impressed that I knew that Katy Perry sang that song, don't be. I googled it. That is how I knew.  Me = Tres Uncool.

Comments

[a]

Ha! My daughter (who's 3) likes that song too...because they say popsicle. And she likes popsicles (she doesn't, actually). She's also convinced she's going to be on American Idol. I told her she's going to have to take some singing lessons first, because I am a kind and encouraging mother. Also because she is genetically predisposed to be unable to sing.

Anyway, I don't worry too much about the sex talk. I just try to stay away from the songs with swear words. If my daughter doesn't understand what they're talking about, she is more likely to rearrange and/or redefine the words than to ask me what they mean at this point in her life. But she is likely to pick up on new words and use them.

[sass]

beginning to be really glad i don't have this quandary. ;) and oh yeah, seeing that i have a (very few) years on you, i can reassure you that you'll still be switching back and forth between the talk and music. you know, when someone you can barely understand calls in, or the line is crackling so badly - click. la-la-laaa. "bikinis on top..." click and so forth! ;)

[ruth]

he,he, amelia loves, Beyonce 'single ladies, and Lady Ga Ga - yelling very loudly - 'i'm a fresh bit baby' at the right place in the Ga Ga song (a phrase taught to her by her 25 years older than her sister - sibling stuff doesn't change no matter what the age gap!!!). what she is SUPPOSED to be singing is 'i'm a free bitch baby' . .

nothing nicer than hearing her and her daddy sing 'you are a radar detector' to each other (Regina Spector FYI).

[Cathy Cress MSW]

So glad to find your blog. Infertility is such a forbidden subject yet it seems to be the plague of the 21st century. I think it is such a social service to do a blog about trying to be a Mom.
Cathy Cress MSW
http://momlovesyoubest.wordpress.com/

[Katherine]

Katy Perry BLECH. Not because of the sex talk, just because she just is so freaking ANNOYING.

Lady GaGa is tolerable. I just tend towards the college radio end of the spectrum (even though college was a long time ago for me.)

When my kid was littler, I could force her to listen to my music... now, alas, she's starting to dictate the terms. (She likes "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" and "Sexyback".)

[Sandra]

Boy I hear you! We do a fair amount of "lyric adaption" to make the words age appropriate. There is nothing more disagreeable than a 6yr old singing "I want your ugly, I want your disease"!!!!!

As they age though they learn not to ask about the meaning of lyrics so as to avoid a mother meltdown.

Try googling "chasing pavements"... That'll put you off your breakfast!

[Nina-Number-One]

Ha ha ha, Lily-rose also loves that song, yesterday in the car she screams on the top of her voice, Yay Mom it's Lady Perry on the radio!! Um I think you mean Katy Perry. We say six on the beach. She keeps on asking me to play the video on Youtube and at the end of the song Katy Perry has these two cans of whipped cream on her boobs that explode everywhere....very rude...LR was asking what she's doing...I made up some crap about Katy Perry being very silly and doing stupid things.

It's Zack-Boy's birthday tomorrow, Dont forget!!!

[cat@juggling act]

Bloody catchy tune, that's the problem. Seem to have replaced Waka Waka that replaced Baby Chocolates that replaced Tonight's gonna be good night etc etc

[vic]

I am actually having a lot of fun explaining to my 5 yr old, when he asks, what the songs are about. Our last car trip was Johnny Cash (ok, so I'm not cool). We learned about prison, drinking, murder, and the deep regret of a wasted life. Fun stuff!
Seriously, it is REALLY interesting to try and take an explanation to such a basic level. It makes me realize how simple human emotion really is...

[Leslie]

LOL...I always think of it as in the drink "sex on the beach" which isn't as bad (but still uses the word "sex")

For what it's worth I think you are very cool!!

[Wobs]

I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be somethin' in the water
Sippin' gin and juice
Layin' underneath the palm trees (Undone)
The boys
Break their necks
Try'na creep a little sneak peek (At us)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Golden Coast
Once you party with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Chorus]
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Anne]

I agree with you that there are lots of songs that have explicitly content lyrics. For me, it's really hard to explain to my kid what the song is all about unless if it's a good and happy song.

Womens Health Questions

[Babygirl]

I'm not looking forward to those days. Currently we're two, so I don't have much explaining to do, but I do tend to haul her away from the TV when the boys or Dad put MTV on! I don't want my baby girl growing up with all that gyrating. I see other little kids wearing next to nothing and make up and heels and they're not even in their early teens yet - I cringe inside.

[Anna]

Ha too funny! Talk radio can draw you in. Katy Perry and many other artists have som interesting lyrics. And of course the tunes are catchy enough that children are attracted. Makes for interesting conversation!