I did a Facebook status update today that elicited quite a few entertaining responses, so I thought I would carry it over to my blog.
Tertia Loebenberg Albertyn Listed under: Things I never thought I would say one day: "get that vuvuzela out of my food"
I am often amused when I find myself saying things that I could never have imagined I would say one day ('stop sucking on my printer', 'please tie my tubes', 'fine, but just don't wake me'*). I would love to hear some of your recent ones. Share!
*That last one was a joke. Kind of.
![Medsitters Au pairs](<a href="http://medsitter.com/" title="Medsitters"><img src=" http://www.tertia.org/medsitter.png" /></a> ){kind=link}
"Quit licking people!"
Posted by: blackbird | 09 July 2010 at 09:15 PM
Don't bite the dog's tail!
Posted by: Clarissa | 09 July 2010 at 09:36 PM
"Don't put your toothbrush on your p*nis!"
I stopped brushing his teeth in the bathtub....
Posted by: ksmaybe | 09 July 2010 at 10:03 PM
Dying at the first two comments because I replied to your twitter earlier with my favorite. "Don't lick the dog."
What is it with little people and licking and dogs???
Posted by: Libby | 09 July 2010 at 10:03 PM
Don't shoot your brother.
Posted by: Sarah | 09 July 2010 at 10:21 PM
I added this to facebook "please stop calling your brother's scrotum a nut sack"
:)
Posted by: kellie | 10 July 2010 at 01:17 AM
To my potty-training 3 year old,"sigh, yes honey you are right mommy needs need to use the big toilet because she has a big vulva and you have a little vulva"
Posted by: One of Two Mommies | 10 July 2010 at 02:09 PM
Don't head-butt the cat! (My son has developed a habit of giving an enthusiastic head-nuzzle as a sign of affection. Cute until he hits the bridge of your nose.)
Posted by: Kylie | 10 July 2010 at 03:07 PM
"No, you may not take your giant penguin to Paris."
Posted by: Skippy | 10 July 2010 at 08:37 PM
"No mashed potato beards"
"Cucumbers do not make hats"
"Stop licking the carpet"
Posted by: Lou | 11 July 2010 at 04:18 PM
"Stop playing trains on your brother."
"We do not sit at the table naked."
"Please take your hand out of your pants. That is something you do in private."
"DON'T EAT THE CAT FOOD!!!"
Oh god...
Posted by: Bree | 12 July 2010 at 05:01 AM
"Poop is personal!"
"no, I will not pick your nose"
"please don't tell people that your Dad has magic spit"*
(*please let me explain. When DVDs skip, my sweety rubs spit on them then wipes off, they never give us trouble again. So I always say "Dad has magic spit!" Until one day when the six year old told a complete stranger "Ms. Lisa says my Dad has magic spit")
Posted by: Lisame | 12 July 2010 at 06:56 PM
"We don't put candy in our vaginas."
"There is no such thing as a nipple parade."
Posted by: Eve | 12 July 2010 at 10:34 PM
"Stop farting on your father's head"
Posted by: Bevc | 13 July 2010 at 10:32 AM
Hee Hee - as usual all it takes is your blog to make me smile!!!! What we need is a list of stuff you don't want your kids to tell the teacher at school!!!!
Mine was - Guess what Mrs R - the XX#@%$^& bad men stole all mommies bras and panties !!!!!
Posted by: Alexa Ristow | 13 July 2010 at 04:26 PM
"Get out of that frying pan!"
Posted by: Ute | 13 July 2010 at 05:04 PM
"Does baby spit make my diamond shine?!" Said while one of my twins started chewing on my diamond wedding/engagment ring that was on my hand!
Posted by: Heather | 14 July 2010 at 09:38 PM
"stop painting the wall with your pooh"
seriously.
Posted by: cath | 14 July 2010 at 10:28 PM
Get your tongue off the conveyor belt! (the belt at the grocery store your purchases roll on down towards the cashier. I don't know what you call all that stuff in S.A.)
Posted by: Andrea | 15 July 2010 at 04:53 AM
"Just lie back, this will only sting a little bit"
... I never thought I'd be a nurse hehe
Posted by: Claire | 15 July 2010 at 06:21 AM
Danielle take that chip of Rachel's shoulder.
Ai.
Posted by: Paula | 15 July 2010 at 08:34 AM
"STOP licking the bin!!"
"Sorry Anna, but, no, you can't have a winkie"
Posted by: Carrie | 15 July 2010 at 11:48 AM
"Of course your tongue will burn if you lick a light bulb!"
Posted by: Bevc | 15 July 2010 at 04:56 PM
"Take your socks out of your applesauce!" and "you must wear undies in the front yard"
Posted by: louise | 15 July 2010 at 06:37 PM
"Throw up into my hands."
Posted by: Nixgrim | 15 July 2010 at 10:39 PM
Me to daughter about baby brother: "Whose poop did he eat, yours or his?"
"Which clothing rack did you poop in?"
"You're... pooping in the garbage can?"
"Get your finger out of his butt."
"Because I said so"
"We don't swing the cat around by his neck"
Posted by: plunkie | 16 July 2010 at 12:34 AM
"I like the long thin one because they glide in easily and don't leave a big hole." (Speaking of sewing needles...REALLY!!!)
Posted by: Stella Buie | 16 July 2010 at 01:20 PM
No, I don't have tissues, hock it back and swallow.
Posted by: Bevc | 16 July 2010 at 01:38 PM
When your cousins done, THEN you can play with the hatchet!
Posted by: SFSaf | 17 July 2010 at 12:28 AM
http://moms.alltop.com/
check this out. good stuff.
Posted by: ali | 17 July 2010 at 09:25 PM
Don't put the staircase in your pants.
Posted by: bluespideryogurt | 19 July 2010 at 02:51 AM
1. stop licking the paving.
2. don't shine that laser up my nose.
3. no, the dog does not want to eat your buzz lightyear.
4. no, the dog food is not small biscuits for little boys.
Posted by: ExMi | 19 July 2010 at 11:01 AM
While at a viewing for my husband's estranged grandfather, I actually yelled across the room at my then 12 year old son, " Stop leaning on the coffin!"..." Because he's dead that's why!"
Posted by: Lissa | 19 July 2010 at 09:50 PM
I think Nixgrim and Plunkie is going to give me my first aneurysm. Heelarious!
Posted by: Micaela | 19 July 2010 at 10:45 PM