As if it is not bad enough that I have a nanny, I have now put the twins in after-care - is there no end to the bad mothering??
I have always had a 'thing' about after-care. Before the kids went to school, I had visions of the children in after-care sitting quietly and sadly in a room, counting down the hours until their parents came to fetch them. Poor abandoned little children.
And then my kids started real/big school with a stunning after-care facility and suddenly my view has changed significantly. That, combined with my children asking me when they can have a turn to go to after-care, plus my hugely increased work load, plus my kids telling me they are BORED the minute they get home from school has led me to give this after-care thing a go. I have booked them in for this term until 3pm every day.
The after-care facility is wonderful, they get a lovely meal, lots of activities, excellent supervision etc. Plus it gives me three extra precious, very necessary hours to do some work. Everything is perfect.
So why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel like I am somehow shirking my duties by putting them in after-care until 3? I should somehow be able to work full time and be a full time SAHM.
The other day I went to do some grocery shopping before fetching them (so much faster and easier on the budget) and I felt absolutely terrible. My kids were in after-care while I was SHOPPING! I kept waiting for someone to report me to the parenting police. Which I am sure will happen once I hit 'send' on this post.
Anyway, I am being an asshole. I need to get over myself. The kids are happy, they are well looked after and I am able to get some work done. Life is not just about what you want to do but also about what you need to do in order to thrive and survive.
PS it is not working, still feel guilty. Damn.