The Fockers do payback time

If I think back to when I was a teenager, I want to cringe.  What we kids put our poor parents through. That awkward stage when you think you know everything, when you think you can do anything and yet you can't.  You want to travel the world on great adventures! You want to pack your bags, shake off all responsibilities and travel to foreign lands, far away from your family who are telling you to be sensible, to look after yourself and not take any chances.

Well my parents have clearly decided it is payback time and are going through a second teenagehood.  Much to my GREAT dismay!!!

As you know my parents (who are known as the Fockers) bought their RV van last year. Although I was very anti them ever leaving me getting the van, even I must admit it is stunning and I can see why they love going away in it. FOR A WEEK. Go away for a week to a sensible little caravan park an hour's drive away.  That is what you do when you are retired.

But not my irresponsible parents, oh no. They want to go to BOTSWANA! For THREE MONTHS!!  (I am actually banging the keys really hard as I type this).  It that not the HEIGHT of irresponsibility?? Botswana is FAR away and DANGEROUS.  Well, not really dangerous but VERY FAR AWAY.  And as for the three months thing, well why don't they just say they don't love me any more. FINE.

And that is not all.  I KNOW!!  It is bad enough as it is, but it gets worse! I can hardly bring myself to write this down.  My father (who is the BAD influence in the relationship) wants to go CAMPING while they are there, in the bush with just the 4x4 jeep and a two man tent.  I mean HAVE YOU EVER!  They are not 30 years old, they are GRANDPARENTS! They *think* they are capable, but they not as physically strong as they used to be. My dad had a heart attack, a stroke and open heart surgery less than a year ago.  Less than 18 months ago my mother had cancer, chemo and an operation to remove her bits. 

And seriously.... BOTSWANA??!!  What happens if a lion eats them?  What happens if the jeep gets stuck?  If someone murders them in their tent???????????  In the middle of the bloody jungle! SO FAR AWAY!

I am banging the keys really hard again.  My nerves are shot!  What ever happened to staying home listening to the radio and knitting sweaters for the grandkids?

What to do.  They are grown ups now and apparently do not listen to me any more.  Not that they ever did.  Height of irresponsibility, I tell you. 

(I do have a plan.  I am thinking of getting someone to follow them from a safe distance, just to keep an eye on them.  The person (already identified) will camp a short distance away so that if they run into trouble, he will be there to assist. So irresponsible!)

Comments

[RainbowW]

here's the worst: don't even begin to imagine what they might actually be DOING in that little 2-person tent. just ignore how the sides shake.

[jacki]

My parents do that all the time. They go to cape town in the car with their tent, and take a week to get there. They have done that in europe too, camp with rv's or tents. And in australia. And he has had a stroke and a back op, and she has had cancer too. My mom gave my dad a NEW TENT for his 70th birthday. Sheesh!

[Sandra Claassen]

They just don't understand! Us kids take so long bringing the parents up, moulding them to our plans and desires!! They then beg for grandchildren, which we dutifully supply AND THEN THEY BUGGER OFF!!!!

My folks go away at least one week a month, if not longer. I spend my life updating my calander so I know where they are.

You would think grown ups had more sensitivity towards their children.

You gotta love 'em though.

[Vanessa]

I think you should thank your parents for what they are doing to you now because they are just helping to desensitize you to what your kids are going to put you through in a few years time...hehe!

[Sonja]

Understanding how you feel, but you must let them free! And... Botswana is safe, better than SA. Our church takes a group of about 30 teenagers to the north of Botswana every year for an outreach which last 3 wks & nothing has ever happened. They have broken down in the bush & someone always came to help. Just tell them to take enough water with them.

[Amy]

"Well, not really dangerous but VERY FAR AWAY. And as for the three months thing, well why don't they just say they don't love me any more. FINE."

This is exactly how I felt when my mom and step-dad got a condo in Florida, only instead of lions I worried about alligators. They've had the condo for five years, and I still can't shake the "they don't love me" feeling.

[April]

Perhaps they realize while facing the heart attack, stroke and cancer that life is short. Perhaps they want to do the things they wanted to do when they were younger and never had time or money to do. Perhaps they know that if they don't do some of these things now, they may never have the chance. As much as it may pain you, smile and wave as they leave. Let them enjoy what is left of their time together. Be glad they want to spend it together and not in seperate parts of the house or yard never speaking to each other.

[Nataly]

I agree with a last post. I think this is wonderful, that your parents are still up for some adventures and travel. I would let them go and enjoy their journey.

[Macca]

What brilliant parents. When they get back can you post up their best tips etc please? We want to do Botswana when we come back to South Africa. Tertia, travelling parents are pretty normal in our house. My Mum is 71 and currently on holiday in Australia and she's off to China in a few months. She's travelled to all sorts of places by herself including Russia and Turkey. They are all places I've been to as well, so I know she'll be okay. She tramps overnight into the bush in NZ and she isn't the oldie who is helicoptered out with the broken ankle, she's the one saying the oldies are holding back the pace. It's fab your parents can and want to travel, well done Fockers.

[melissa]

you're sending Marko, aren't you?? Does he know yet?! :-D

[tam]

Send Adam along after them with his "weal gun!!" :) My parents are the same. Always off doing things without a care. Good for them :) Tam

[ruth]

fabulous. what a couple.

what you must do now is take some happy pills and wish them the best of luck and enjoyment, and wave happily as they leave, only THEN breaking down in tears and anxiety in marko and rose's arms. *SOB*

my parents are too scared to leave home sometimes, and are missing out on opportunities to see and do things they SAY they wish they could do. how awesome that your folks are getting out and making it happen for themlselves.

babe, you are a DOER, not a dreamer, and you are like that precisely because your parents taught you how to be just so by setting an example. they are going to have an awesome intense and adventure filled senior-age (with their individual illnesses thrown in to spice things up a little - nothing like walking on the wild side), and they are showing you how to do the same.

shake off the worries and be happy for them! or better still, now you are self-employed, take a couple weeks off and go JOIN THEM!!!! take your own tent tho, so you don't stuff up their romantic plans.

hell, lets face it, they have both survived truly life threatening things recently - having been to the edge and looked over, maybe they know even better how precious life is, and how they need to use every second of the time they have left to REALLY live. they REALLY REALLY REALLY don't WANT to wrap themselves in cotton wool and perch nervously on the end of the couch collecting spiderwebs and dust, just on case something happens to them if they dare to go out!!! that's not life, that's existing - and you wouldn't wish that on a dog.

we could all learn from them!

[tuesy]

Exactly.

My parents went wandering off in their RV a month ago, despite knowing that my husband was going away on business for a month at the same time. How could they abandon me to the fates like that? And let me tell, you, the fates have intervened, as I broke my elbow five days before my husband left, and then as soon as he left the two kids and I got the nasty flu for a week.

Thank god for friends and neighbours, because the RVing parents completely fell down on the job.

(In the interest of full disclosure, they continue to answer their cell phone and are quite concerned and caring about my woes. Although that hasn't seen them fit to come home. Harumph.)

[Anna]

Your parents are very cool : )

[Amy]

I say let them go...They are in the prime of their lives. No kids to worry about, nor work, nor major responsibilities! Let them explore and be free!

I say this honestly as when I am retired and my kids on their own I plan to travel the world dammit!

[Oleg]

Hi Tertia,
It's always nice to read your blogs. I believe it's much safer in Botswana or Namibia than in South Africa, including Western Cape. There is much more chance of being mugged, robbed, kidnapped or killed in any part of RSA, than in any of the neighboring states, probably with exception of Zimbabwe. We used to live in South Africa many years ago, so we know.

[BiancaW]

What? You mean they actually want to have a LIFE! What a NERVE!! How dare they? How VERY dare they??

:-)

Have a good time Mimi and Pops. XXX

[Sparks]

Hi Tertia

What was the point of them surviving Cancer and a heart attack etc if they are not going to live their lives now!! You have to let them go. They spent their youth raising you so it's time for them to live a little. I'm sure your Mum can knit the grandkids some sweaters on the long trips in the car. Botswana is fabulous and something everyone should see at some stage in their lives. It's definitley good practice for you for when Adam and Kate tell you that they are taking their backpacks and R1000 and going to London for a year.

Sparks

[Heike]

Wow - YOUR PARENTS ROCK!!

[SheBee]

Oh this made me giggle! And to assure you, I feel the exact same way when my parents do this kind of thing. I mean, my old dad [OLD I TELL YOU, OLD!] immigrated to Australia I was heartbroken with worry and neglect. They're back now, three years later.

Never mind my mom who decided after her midlife crisis that she hated her profession and up and studied beauty therapy & permanent make up and tattooing! Imagine, my mother tattooing all my friends in my home town. It's too terrible.

But in a way, we're lucky that we have such spritely parents - I wouldn't change them for the world.

But yes - I'd have a dude following them. Get it done, Tertia!

[julie]

Okay I can help you here. If you arrange to leave the camper's keys somewhere we will "borrow" it for three months and go to Botswana ourselves. I am totally jealous.

They have been through so much so I fully understand them wanting to LIVE!!!

[tati]

hi. i think its great they're well enough to go, but i'm a little concerned some blog readers don't get that your'e being ironic, which is what makes your writing funny and real and hilarius and multi layered.
a bit like if rose has annual leave and you write about it in an ironic way.OBVIOUSLY you understand why they want to go and areecstatic they are well enough but you're being funny re turned tables teenagers and parents and sending yourself up

[beep]

Does Marco know you are planning on sending him to babysit your parents?

He's probably highly qualified, but it MIGHT seem a little, you know, MUNDANE to him!

[jen w]

Maybe they can bring the pellet gun :) and I think it is wonderful they are up for adventure. I wish my parents would get a little adventurous and leave them home for more than 2 hours. Life is for living, why not go for it while they still can!

[maggie]

Good for them! The deserve to enjoy this time - from what you write they have had health issues and want to make the most of the time they have together. They are blessed that they get this time. I am assuming you are just kidding about being upset that they are leaving, although I can understand you feeling a bit nervous for them and their safety - anything else would be selfish on your part (as I am sure you agree).

[Pamela]

Oh - sounds like something my mother would do! She decided to climb Kilimanjaro for her 60th birthday and now she is buggering off to backpack around Australia 2 months after her 1st grandchild is due to be born. And the worst - with her new boyfriend! Acting like blooding teenagers both of them! they are always off camping somewhere and I don't need think about what they are doing when the tent sides are shaking. My mom takes great delight in telling me.....

It is very sweet though - not the telling me part - the part that they are so happy at this time in their lives. I hope when I get to her age I can embarrase my children like this.

[mash]

ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is SO awesome! I want to be them!

PS Botswana is WAY safer than SA

[Nix]

How dare they!!! So bloody irresponsible.

[Lizelle]

My parents does the same - only difference they go with a 4 x 4 to places that have no freaking roads!!!!! The do go in a group which at least is safer! Maybe your parents can join some RV/camping group??

[Jan]

Having both faced death, maybe they want to work on their bucket list and have an adventure. You selfish thing, you! Just joking.

[Lynette]

Tertia, I would say, LET THEM GO!! LIVE THEIR LIFE! although do sound little irresponsible.. But isn't it a great chance for them to live life once FREELY? I know it's easier said than done.... at least u still let them go but have an ""eyes" on them..

[lorrie]

Pretty soon the kids will be backpacking through Europe.

[Eric]

It is not surely a bad thing that the parents got to enjoy themselves far away from the kids. There will always be a moment where parents realize that they havnt done much for themselves and therefore decide to catch up on vacations, holidays once they feel their children are grown up.

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[Pregnancy Questions]

Pretty soon? I think they already started backpacking for Europe ....at least a small percent of them.