So Close

Various

Hello chickens, miss me?  Apologies for being so scarce but there is no peace for the wicked.  Can you believe I am only blogging about once a week now, atrocious. And to think for 4-5 years I blogged nearly every day.  Can't think where I found the time.  Just shows you how much time my business takes up, I don't have five minutes spare.

Speaking of blogging - you know how when you are single, you can't find a boyfriend for love or money and yet as soon as you are taken, there are a million guys interested in you? Well, the same thing seems to apply to my blog lately. Most people when they start out blogging are very keen on driving traffic to their blog and would do anything for some free publicity, high profile links etc. Now when I don't have the time to focus any energy on my blog, I am suddenly inundated with offers of free publicity - TV interviews, radio interviews, magazine articles etc. I had a TV show beg and plead for me to do an interview, they would fly me up to Joburg for the day, in and out, promise etc but I had to say no.  I have been working so hard, and travelling so much that I don't want to be away from my family for even one day extra.  I felt bad because they were so sweet about it, but I just can't.  I missed my family terribly on my last trip away.  And I am going away AGAIN next weekend for a conference, and then again two weeks later to London and Vienna for more conferences.  Wonderful opportunities and I am really grateful for them, but oh my goodness, I miss my family terribly when I am away.  I am such a wuss.

Moving on, yesterday was supposed to be our first school outing - a trip to the beach.  The kids were SO excited, we have been counting the sleeps to the big day.  All the kids were going to go in a bus and the parents were allowed to join the kids at the beach.  Which is a nice idea as I can't imagine sending my kids on a school trip WITHOUT ME!  

Cleverly I had arranged for my laptop to go in for some maintenance on Wed night / Thurs morning which meant I wasn't missing any work time.  Unfuckingfortunately my laptop decided to break down completely and the effing thing is in for repairs UNTIL MONDAY!!  I am without my work email for SIX EFFING DAYS. I didn't even take six days maternity leave and now I am expected to survive for six days without my business email?  I am devastated. Anyhooooo...

Well, we woke up yesterday morning to rain but it was still warm and the forecast suggested that the rain would burn away.  Alas, the school had to make a decision and they decided to cancel the trip. The children were SO disappointed.  They have not been clingy at all at their new school but on hearing the trip was cancelled, they wrapped themselves around my legs and just about climbed up my bum.  I felt so bad for them that I said I would take them out of school for the day and take them to the beach myself.  GREAT excitement. Or as Adam would say "I am so incited Mom". 

We had such a nice time there.  I am afraid to say that I so seldom do things like that.  I always have so much work to do that I seldom get the opportunity to devote 100% of my attention to them.  Bad, I know. 

We had a fab time, we walked along the beach, (they) swam in the rock pools, (Kate) collected rocks, (Adam) pulled along big pieces of seaweed.  Lots of fun.

We then went do collect the air tickets etc and had a walk around the mall.  Where there was a kids party expo happening, with lots of jumping castles, rides etc everywhere.  GREAT excitement.  The kids had so much fun and I was a lovely mom, waiting patiently for them to go on everything.

Then we came to the coolest thing ever - those big see-through plastic balls that you climb inside and roll around in the water.  The reaction of the twins was so typical - Kate immediately ran forward and started yelling "I want to do it, I want to do it" and Adam ran backwards saying "I am scared, noooooo..."  Then he started crying for Kate out of worry for her.  Very different, my two children.

Kate was excellent in that ball. It is actually exhausting doing it and you keep falling over but she carried on and on. I was laughing so much my throat was sore.  Everyone was looking at this little five year old rolling around in this huge ball.

I then bought them biltong, juice and a blow up dog.  BEST mother in the world.

Except for the part where they decided to disobey me by (Adam) not coming out the jumping castle and by (Kate) hiding away from me and I shouted at them in front of all the staff inside Incredible Connection.  But that incident only lasted a few minutes so on a percentage basis, it was a fantastic day and I was the best mother ever.  

To end, you know how you sometimes have those moments where you look at your life as if from the outside - taking a mental snapshot of the moment and you think "wow, I can't believe this is my life". I had a moment like that this morning.  I was walking the kids to their classroom and they were skipping ahead of me with their blow-up balloon dogs on a ribbon, backpacks on their back.  I had Max on my hip and in the other hand I was carrying a cake (store bought (Woollies) not home baked, obviously.) I thought 'wow, here I am - mother to three children. With a cake. And lucky enough to be able to work from home allowing me to drop my kids off at school myself and fetch them at midday'. I am so so so lucky.  I am lucky and so filled with gratitude that this is my life.  Quite sappy I know.

Speaking of sappy, I did a terrible thing the other day.  My husband was being really nice to me, saying the most wonderful things about how much he loved and missed me while I was away.  Which is a big thing for him as he is not the biggest chatter in the world.  And then he paused and said "I really mean that, I know it sounds quite......" and then he paused again, and assuming that he was struggling for the right word, I offered up "Sappy?"  He was horrified!  He said that he was trying to be loving and romantic and I called it sappy! But I thought that is what he was going to say!  I didn't think it was sappy, I thought it was sweet and lovely and I was really touched.  I don't think he has quite forgiven me yet.

Well, that's enough for now. In the absence of my work laptop (sob), I have decided to tidy up my study and do other general admin chores. Best I move my ass.  Later dudes xx

The reluctant traveler

You know how some people are natural born travelers, they are able to fly off to foreign destinations and live out of a suitcase at the drop of a hat.  In fact, they actually WANT to travel abroad.  Not me. I am a homebody.  I LOOOVE being at home and would quite happily never travel further than the local cafe and back for the rest of my life. Very un-Sagittarius. I think I must have Boring Old Fart as my rising sign or something like that.

Unfortunately I was somehow not destined to live in my comfort zone.  Instead of living life lying on the couch and eating bonbons, I have to fly all over the world and give talks to Big Important People who surely know much more about stuff than I do.  Why oh why can't I just stay home and lie on the couch...

I am out the country at the moment and I am missing my family like MAD. I despise being away from my kids.  It makes me feel anxious and incomplete.  Even though I know THEY are fine, I am not.  One more sleep till I see them, can't wait.

I am a fussy eater (I like to call it discerning but most would call it being an asshole) and I am too scared to try the local cuisine. I miss my bed and I miss the smell of my own country.

And what is even worse is that I am scheduled to fly abroad again in 4 weeks time!!  Oh woe is me, where is my couch, my kids (and husband) and my own pillow and blankie. Grumble grumble grumble.

My Perfect Valentine

Marko and I do not really make much of a fuss about our birthdays, and we don't celebrate anniversaries and that kind of stuff.  So you can imagine how much effort, romance and tradition we put into Very Important Occasions like Valentines Day. 

This year we were invited to my best friend's Valentine Shmalentine's party. It was a kind of a anti-valentine party.  You had to come dressed up as something tongue-in-cheek to do with Valentine.

I thought about what my perfect Valetines evening would be, and this is what I came up with:

 

We went to the shop yesterday afternoon and bought PJs and slippers.  I was in hysterics, hehehe.  Marko was a great sport about it.  He did warn me that if we were the only people dressed up like idiots in PJs he would have to kill me but I said I didn't care. At least we were comfy.

And boy was I comfy! Guess whose feet were the least sore at the end of the evening:

 

Got home from the party sensibly early, checked one or two emails on the laptop, went straight to sleep. zzzzzzzzz.  My perfect Valentines Day with my perfect Valentine.

PS We did take the PJs off the minute we got home, they were bloody hot and it is the middle of summer here.

The Fockers do payback time

If I think back to when I was a teenager, I want to cringe.  What we kids put our poor parents through. That awkward stage when you think you know everything, when you think you can do anything and yet you can't.  You want to travel the world on great adventures! You want to pack your bags, shake off all responsibilities and travel to foreign lands, far away from your family who are telling you to be sensible, to look after yourself and not take any chances.

Well my parents have clearly decided it is payback time and are going through a second teenagehood.  Much to my GREAT dismay!!!

As you know my parents (who are known as the Fockers) bought their RV van last year. Although I was very anti them ever leaving me getting the van, even I must admit it is stunning and I can see why they love going away in it. FOR A WEEK. Go away for a week to a sensible little caravan park an hour's drive away.  That is what you do when you are retired.

But not my irresponsible parents, oh no. They want to go to BOTSWANA! For THREE MONTHS!!  (I am actually banging the keys really hard as I type this).  It that not the HEIGHT of irresponsibility?? Botswana is FAR away and DANGEROUS.  Well, not really dangerous but VERY FAR AWAY.  And as for the three months thing, well why don't they just say they don't love me any more. FINE.

And that is not all.  I KNOW!!  It is bad enough as it is, but it gets worse! I can hardly bring myself to write this down.  My father (who is the BAD influence in the relationship) wants to go CAMPING while they are there, in the bush with just the 4x4 jeep and a two man tent.  I mean HAVE YOU EVER!  They are not 30 years old, they are GRANDPARENTS! They *think* they are capable, but they not as physically strong as they used to be. My dad had a heart attack, a stroke and open heart surgery less than a year ago.  Less than 18 months ago my mother had cancer, chemo and an operation to remove her bits. 

And seriously.... BOTSWANA??!!  What happens if a lion eats them?  What happens if the jeep gets stuck?  If someone murders them in their tent???????????  In the middle of the bloody jungle! SO FAR AWAY!

I am banging the keys really hard again.  My nerves are shot!  What ever happened to staying home listening to the radio and knitting sweaters for the grandkids?

What to do.  They are grown ups now and apparently do not listen to me any more.  Not that they ever did.  Height of irresponsibility, I tell you. 

(I do have a plan.  I am thinking of getting someone to follow them from a safe distance, just to keep an eye on them.  The person (already identified) will camp a short distance away so that if they run into trouble, he will be there to assist. So irresponsible!)

Toy guns

When Sister Mel had her first child 13 years ago, she was quite an ethno-bongo (tree-hugger / granola type).  She said that her son would not play with guns and there would be no toy guns in the house.  However, it wasn't long before he was fashioning make-believe guns out of old marijuana branches and shooting pow-pow at imaginary baddies. 

I have much lower standards and looser morals than my sister and the toy gun thing was never an issue for me.  I have never specifically gone out to buy toy guns for my kids, but along with pirate masks and eye patches, they have also chosen toy guns and pirate swords.  And it doesn't worry me at all.  Admittedly I have not studied in detail any studies that say playing with guns at five years old increases the propensity to become a serial murder in later life, but my gut says that banning toy guns in my house will not help much if that is his eventual career choice. I would prefer he becomes a plastic surgeon or something useful like that but as parents we must be careful not to force our own aspirations on our child.  (Dear Adam, please don't become a serial killer, there is no money in that! Choose a nice profession like plastic surgeon or IT entrepreneur so that you can help mommy one day). I am not anti guns, and I am not pro guns. I don't feel strongly either way, but I know that some people do. (Some people feel strongly about EVERYTHING. I wish I had the time)

Adam came home from Mimi and Pops the other day with a REAL GUN! It was a pellet gun (I think you call them air guns/ air rifles) that used to belong to my brother when he was a teenager.  You shoot tin cans with them, I think.  It was empty of course, but Adam was BESIDES himself with excitement.  He is so thrilled with his 'weal gun', he sleeps next to it every night and carries it all around the house with him.  I am not mad about it, only because it looks so damn real.  He is not allowed to point it at people, but I've let him carry it around the house. 

My children started an annoying habit last year where they want to take something to school every day to show the rest of the kids. Something new / exciting etc.  It's annoying because they are not allowed to bring their own toys to school so I have to schlep it to the class, and then schlep it all home again. 

Anyway, Adam obviously wanted to take his 'weal gun' to school to show his friends and I had to tell him he couldn't because some moms don't like guns and would judge his mother for allowing him to play with a gun and then they will talk about me behind my back and label me etc.  Well, I just said that some moms don't like children to play with guns.  A conversation we have had to rehash a million times.  "But why don't some moms like it when their children play with guns?"  "Which moms?"  On and on.  Anyway, I've stood firm. The gun can come with in the car, but it can't come out.  The gun has travelled to and from school every day this week and last week.

Then, yesterday as I put them in the car after I went to fetch them, my phone rang.  I was standing next to the car with the door open chatting to whoever was on the phone.  Next thing, Adam is by the open door, proudly showing his gun to the other kids (and their moms), saying "LOOK, I GOT A WEAL GUN, AND IT HAS GONE WEAL BULLETS IN IT".  I couldn't get off that phone fast enough.  I giggled nervously and said in a falsetto voice "oh, haha, don't be silly Adam, its not a REAL gun and it certainly doesn't have REAL bullets in it, nowputitawayandgetinthecarimmediately".

OMG!  Now they are all going to hate me.  I saw the look the one mother gave me (only has girl children who clearly don't have weal guns with weal bullets in them).  Sigh.

I don't know.  I don't think it will do any harm for Adam to play with the gun but I am obviously not 100% convinced about it because otherwise I wouldn't be so anxious about other people seeing. 

I really don't think that playing with a toy gun is going to make him any more or any less violent.  In my gut, I don't feel this. I am not sure what it is about toy guns that upsets some mothers (and I am sure I am about to be enlightened why), but I am actually way WAY more concerned about violent computer games and TV programs where 'baddies' explode / have their heads chopped off / fighter planes shoot each other out the sky etc than I am about toy guns. 

How do you feel about toy guns? Do you let your boys & girls have toy guns in their toy box?  Is a water pistol in the pool allowed?  What about those squirting water tube things?  A sword?  Where do you draw the line?

An incident occurred in 1998

I got a note in my postbox today that is just.... words fail me. If you live in South Africa you must be saying WTF!! This must surely be a typo?   An 'incident' occurred in 1998??????  WTF!  An incident like this occurs every 19.98 SECONDS in South Africa!  Our security estate had an 'incident' in 1998! Those who don't live in South Africa won't appreciate how funny (in a sad way) this note is. 

Look, it's a terrible incident. A terrible story. But when you live in a country with one of the highest crime levels in the world and where things like this occur on a daily basis in certain areas of the country, this is just unreal.  It made me realize how very lucky I am that I am able to live in a security estate (busybody neighbours and all) that last had an 'incident' in 1998.

I have typed this post up so many times in so many different ways, but I can't quite capture what this note says about (my) life in South Africa. About living with crime. How lucky I am. How many others struggle.  It blows my mind.  Fellow South Africans, help me out here.  Help me explain why this note is just so unbelievable.