Well, technically it was two days ago but it has taken me that long to find five minutes to write this down.
Firstly let me tell you how my day started off: A week ago my mom went for her first big scan since her cancer diagnosis a year ago. Once you have had cancer, you never take anything for granted again. There is no happy oblivion. At best you get the happy, at worst.... well, the worst is really, really bad. So when you go for these check ups and milestone markers, you get bloody nervous. In fact, if you are the daughter, son or husband of the person who had cancer, you get so nervous you feel like your head is going to explode.
My mom's scan revealed a few cysts on her liver as well as dark spot (mass?) between the kidney and the pelvic wall. Now when you have had cancer, the very VERY last thing you want to see is a lump, bump, mass or cyst. In fact, you want to see nothing other than smooth tissue. The oncologist said he wasn't worried (a statement that was extremely comforting as he is a very straightforward guy) but just to give us peace of mind, he wanted her to go for a CT scan / MRI to get a good look at the cysts and the mass.
You can imagine how anxious (terrified) we have all been leading up to the MRI. Even though the doctor had said he wasn't worried, by the night before the scan I was so flipping anxious, I could hardly breathe. After the scan, my father, mother and I waited in the waiting room. My father was absolutely finished, he couldn't even hide his fear. I was like a tightly wound spring. And there my poor mother was, cheering US up. Telling us stories about all sorts of things to take our mind off the news we were about to get. I was bursting to pee but I was too scared they would call my parents in before I got back and I wouldn't be able to see his face to read his expression the minute we walked in. I was also so scared he would have to give the bad news and I wouldn't be there to support my parents.
The first thing he said when we walked in was "it is good news!" There is no cancer!!!!!! Apparently cysts on the liver and kidney are very common (up to 50% of people have them) and unless they get very big and cause pain, they are fine. The 'mass' between the kidney and the pelvic wall was a double shadow from her right kidney. Apparently my mother was born with a very low lying kidney and the shadow from the kidney is what raised the concern. (damn that droopy kidney, scaring us all shitless!)
I felt like jumping up and shouting with joy at the top of my lungs. It was close to the best moment of my life. It is only when we got the good news did I realize how flipping scared we all were. My poor father. He had to go lie down afterwards, he was literally sick with worry about my mom.
Anyway, AWESOME news!!!!! There is no cancer and my mom is clean. We know that out of all the cancers, ovarian cancer is the hardest to say 'you are totally cured', but we are not even going to go there - my mom is clean of cancer and that is the best news ever - woohoo!
Now on to my brave thing - guess what I did on Tuesday? I RESIGNED!! That's right, I quit my day job. This is HUGE for me, as I am very risk averse. But I need to believe that my own business will succeed (it is already very successful) and I also need to be able to dedicate my full attention and energy on it.
Who knows how this might turn out. It is a risky move, especially when the world is only now starting to pick up the pieces after the worldwide economic crisis. It is scary in a country with such high levels of employment. It is scary full stop. But it also feels so right.
I am a little (actually very) sad to leave IBM. I have loved working for them and with the people I worked with, I am going to miss them. IBM is an amazing company to work for and they have treated me exceptionally well. I learnt so much through them and I have the greatest respect for them and especially for my boss but it is time to take the next step in my life.
So, in a month's time I will be without formal employment for the first time in my (very long) adult life. SO BRAVE! I can't tell you how good I feel about this, I feel so strong and brave and free and liberated. I am SO proud of me!
PS I am so very, very grateful to my husband for supporting me in my decision to leave formal employment and go full time into my own business. I would never be able to do it without his support. I am rather fond of him.
PPS And of course, a big thank you to Rose without whom I wouldn't be able to do a single thing during the day.
PPPS YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
![Medsitters Au pairs](<a href="http://medsitter.com/" title="Medsitters"><img src=" http://www.tertia.org/medsitter.png" /></a> ){kind=link}
wow! Congrats on the cancer free diagnosis!!! What amazing news for you all!
As for resigning... WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!
Well done for taking the leap.
May you go from strength to strength!
Posted by: Gina | 28 January 2010 at 08:33 PM
YAY! and YAY! So happy for you. air kiss.
Posted by: Janine | 28 January 2010 at 08:38 PM
I know how difficult it is to leave a "proper" job and jump into the great unknown.
I'm still swimming around looking for something, but I'm glad I took the leap.
I've met a few amazing people that don't have a "normal" job and it has inspired me to follow my own crazy dreams.
Best of luck in your making your dreams come true.
:)
Posted by: ani | 28 January 2010 at 08:41 PM
Wow, that's incredibly brave and freaking awesome! Congrats!
Posted by: Jennifer | 28 January 2010 at 08:43 PM
Wow. You've dealt with a lot of things in an amazingly impressive way, but this impresses me most of all just because I can relate -- I yearn to leave a "proper" job and jump into the great unknown... but I just don't have the guts. But maybe you will inspire me enough...
Posted by: Jan | 28 January 2010 at 08:45 PM
Congratulations, Tertia! I've found that when you take that leap the bridge magically appears for you.
Posted by: Moxie | 28 January 2010 at 08:55 PM
Great news on both counts! Congratulations!!
Posted by: chris | 28 January 2010 at 08:59 PM
WOW!! Congratulations and good luck and -- well -- go, you! :)
Posted by: Tine | 28 January 2010 at 09:15 PM
Congrats to your mom ... and yay you!
Posted by: Sue at nobaddays | 28 January 2010 at 09:31 PM
Congrats on both fronts although you know I am sad to see you leave our dept!!!!
Posted by: gretchen | 28 January 2010 at 09:35 PM
wonderful news about your mom
and congrats about your brave decision, good luck
Posted by: Sally | 28 January 2010 at 10:22 PM
Fantastic!!! on both counts!!! Good Luck!!!!
Posted by: Karyn | 28 January 2010 at 10:38 PM
Yay on leaving your job. So happy about your mom too but tell her she is not allowed to scare everyone like that again. Xxx
Posted by: Alison C | 28 January 2010 at 11:25 PM
Phew, so happy to hear about your mother. And congratulations on making the brave work decision.
Posted by: curious | 29 January 2010 at 12:19 AM
Such great news about your mom, Tertia. What a relief.
And as for you, congratulations! So glad you can focus on something so near and dear to your heart. How wonderful--scary, exciting, amazing, wonderful!
Posted by: snickollet | 29 January 2010 at 12:22 AM
Keep on rocking on, Tertia! You're an inspiration.
Also, could not be more thrilled about the cancer-free news. How wonderful!
Posted by: beck | 29 January 2010 at 12:48 AM
Wow! That's huge. Double congratulations!
Posted by: Sara | 29 January 2010 at 02:35 AM
Wonderful news all around, but especially wonderful about your mother! I'm SO pleased for you. Last night I went to an Itzhak Perman concert with my mother and out to dinner with her. We talked SO much and so long. I've always had a wonderful relationship with my mom and she is my hero in so many ways. Sadly, she is going through a very, very hard time health-wise right now and it's made her so depressed, which is SO NOT like my positive, encouraging mom. It's had me very worried and scared. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to her. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I'm so happy for you and your whole family.
As for the change in employment, I congratulate you on that as well! Good for you and hurray for your supportive husband! How wonderful that you have found your "passion" and have been able to take something that was so hard and personally painful and make it a positive thing for so many people. I so admire you and what you do! Wonderful!!!!
Posted by: Heidi | 29 January 2010 at 03:53 AM
Great news all round! Fantastic!
Posted by: TH | 29 January 2010 at 03:56 AM
Congrats on the shift - I have no doubt that you will rock with your business.
Posted by: Erika | 29 January 2010 at 05:09 AM
so happy for you - on both counts!
mazel tov!
karen
Posted by: (another) karen | 29 January 2010 at 05:33 AM
Congratulations, Tertia. As a fellow business owner who is totally dependent upon that business, let me say welcome to Heaven and welcome to Hell. You will never be so stressed out, strung out and tired nor as gratified, fulfilled and joyful. :)
Posted by: Andrea | 29 January 2010 at 06:14 AM
Awesome news about your mom - Hallelujah!
And hooray for you, taking such a brave step! I think everything will work out just fine. The business is already doing great, and it is your passion. Double-bonus!
Posted by: Woody's Girl | 29 January 2010 at 06:33 AM
Oh WOW! Congratulations to the both of you. May your business go from strength to strength and you never look back. Go forth and conquer!
Posted by: Alex Kirker | 29 January 2010 at 07:45 AM
Congrads to your mother!
And, Congrads to you. It takes guts to leave the guaranteed paycheck behind.
Posted by: tiah | 29 January 2010 at 09:01 AM
I am SO happy to hear about your mom. Your poor dad! He sounded like he was beside himself. Shame man!!
Congrats on the move - you are braver than I. For what it's worth, I have every faith that you (and your awesome team) will make Nurture go from strength to strength!!
Posted by: BiancaW | 29 January 2010 at 09:22 AM
Congrats to you, Tertia, and your family. I'm so happy for you all!!!!!
Posted by: Melissa in TN | 29 January 2010 at 10:42 AM
Congrats to your mom and the entire family, that's so awesome!!
And good luck with your company, I know it'll be a success!! Very brave :)
Posted by: Jeanette | 29 January 2010 at 11:29 AM
Wow! Brave brave girl! Congratulations on both accounts.
Posted by: [email protected] act | 29 January 2010 at 12:17 PM
Great news from you mom
And a HUGE congratulations to you!!!
Posted by: Pamela | 29 January 2010 at 01:37 PM
Good news that your Mom is well. It must be a relief to her and her family.
Congratulations on the resignation. It must have been a very difficult decision to make but one that makes the most sense.
Good luck.xxx
Posted by: julie | 29 January 2010 at 02:27 PM
Hey, me too.
Posted by: Jess | 29 January 2010 at 02:57 PM
Congratulations to your mom!!!!! Great news!! Things will start to feel a little better after a few clean check ups, you'll see. You have an awesome family. (In fact, you make me miss my family every time I read you...)
About the job? WOW! Happy for you, really.
Best of luck!!
Posted by: Dana | 29 January 2010 at 05:02 PM
You go!!
Posted by: Anna | 29 January 2010 at 07:47 PM
Wow!! Congrats!
Posted by: D | 29 January 2010 at 08:51 PM
Mazeltov!!! On both pieces of news!
Posted by: Wobs | 30 January 2010 at 12:57 AM
Tertia, wow!! That is all really exciting news! I'm so happy to hear about your mom, that is WONDERFUL. Good luck as you venture out on your own! You're going to be great.
Posted by: Flicka | 30 January 2010 at 03:36 AM
wow... great news times two... congrats, T. so very happy about mom and very proud of you for being brave and trusting in yourself and your business.
Posted by: tree town gal | 30 January 2010 at 09:10 AM
I am SO very thankful that your Mom is ok and cancer free! What a blessing!
I am visiting today from the bloggies. I just wanted to congratulate you on your nomination! That is very exciting! Good luck on that. And also, best of luck with your impending career : )
Posted by: Life with Kaishon | 30 January 2010 at 05:10 PM
Testing ...
Posted by: Rebekah | 30 January 2010 at 06:10 PM
I just knew it! (The job) Congrats--think of all you can do for the business now you've got the time! And, wonderful news about your Mom.
Posted by: terri c | 31 January 2010 at 08:17 AM
Congratulations on your Mom's and your progress.
Posted by: Sharon | 31 January 2010 at 10:29 AM
Tertia,
I wanted to introduce myself, I found you through google & "Top 50 Mom Blogs." (I am new to blogging)
I just started building my own business last year, and wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! You are so brave, and I am so glad you are so proud of yourself! I have done lots of research on Women Entrepreneurs and small businesses and if I can ever be of any help at all, please don't hesitate to ask. Wishing you all the success in the world and the best health forever for your mom and family! Just awesome!
Elaine Brosnan
Posted by: Elaine Brosnan | 31 January 2010 at 04:06 PM
Congratulations on a brave move!
Posted by: Coral | 01 February 2010 at 09:38 AM
Congratulations on both fronts! So happy your mother is doing well. Your poor father, but so sweet! And I wish you lots of luck on your business!!!
Posted by: Heather | 01 February 2010 at 07:54 PM
yay for you! yay for your mom being cancer-free! yay for being brave and jumping off that edge. we'll be watching you soar. xxx
Posted by: sass | 01 February 2010 at 09:06 PM
OMG! I am more than a little jealous of you resigning Tertia. I am dying to get my ideas off the groun!
I am uber happy your mommy darling is fine.
Posted by: Angel | 02 February 2010 at 12:09 PM
That is very brave! I hope that things go exactly as planned and with your intelligence/work ethic, I've every confidence you'll be a success. Best of luck to you and your family.
Posted by: Kathleen | 03 February 2010 at 10:52 PM
Oh dear, I hit "post" a bit early!
My mother started her own business, which she runs to this very day and my father fully supported her. I'm so thankful for the example of a mother and father who worked hard together and I'm so proud of them.
This will surely be a hectic time in your life, but it truly is a gift to your beautiful children.
Posted by: Kathleen | 03 February 2010 at 10:55 PM
Brave, very brave. No doubt a decision you will not regret - well done! :)
Posted by: Return to Norway | 05 February 2010 at 06:08 PM
So glad your mom is doing well. And I am very proud of you for quitting. I know you are doing the right thing. You will be hugely sucessful in whatever you do. You are just that type of person. You have a beautiful family that you worked very hard to have. Enjoy it...you REALLY deserve it:)
Posted by: Mary | 06 February 2010 at 07:43 PM
So happy to hear your mom is in the clear and you! Being so brave and doing what you love full time. You will be fabulous my dear :)
Posted by: Amy | 08 February 2010 at 07:49 AM