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As I was reading this, I thought you were referring to A&K at Revolting Little Fuckers, and I though - oh my word, she is gonna rile up that Szuzana chick again!!! :-)

But it was the FLEAS you were talking about. Mostly.

Oh Bianca I just thought the same thing! Ha ha

Hooboy are you spoiled! No one in my community has live in help or babysitting help of any sort,w e're stay at home moms and we manage just fine... gym? pedicure? Not even in my wildest dreams! The only time I panic is when I have a doctor or dentist appt. that's when I need a babysitter. otherwise, being a mother is my G-d-given job that I fought so hard for - just like you did - and I embrace it with such joy! I wouldnt even want to share it with someone else traipsing aroudn my home all day!

I know your post was tongue in cheek but it did give me a chuckle... darling, you'll manage fine. and hugs to rose.

Yuck. Fleas. Did you have to vacate the house for hours while and after it was fumigated?

Girl, some of the perks of living in Africa are reasonable, LONG, school terms and live in Goddesses! I feel your pain - AM SENDING WINE AND A COLLECTION OF PILLS (a little lint covered as they have been rolling around in my bag for awhile - but they work for me in emergencies!!!!!!!!!!!)

Oh that's me from tomorrow - me and 3 kids. Overwhelmed. Buried!

that title is a bit ambiguous... i love your sense of humour. ; )
i hope you get rose back soon and that the fleas are gone for good.

Just. Can't. Relate. Curious that you don't enjoy the occasional week without fulltime help.

Your kids get alot of holidays from school! Mine have one week left, then out for 2. And, I purposely took those 2 weeks off from work!

You need a gym that has onsite child care.

Hahaha! When I saw the first few lines I thought you were referring to the CHILDREN (in the title)...welcome to my hell :)

I had to laugh about the "chunky" story. I, uh--cuss-- a bit more in front of my children than I probably should, and I've had to explain several times to my three year old that "shit" is not, in fact, a nice word to say, and Mom shouldn't have said it either...

I've tried to stop, really I have, but it's sooooooo hard, when cussing is such a stress-reliever....

Good luck on your own with the little-'uns!

OMG - you have to take care of your own children? How DARE they make you do that?

Hello - get in touch with the REAL WORLD!! Many of us work full-time, take care of children COOK, clean, etc. with no help what-so-ever (not even from a husband for this single mom.) Good Lord - I don't even have a swimming pool in my back yard!

You, my dear, are spoiled!

Yes, I understand the tongue-in-cheek nature of your post, but it sounds so petty. And to all you Tertia-worshipers out there, if she is going to put it out there and allow comments, I have every right to post my opinion.

Anon Today,

you are in DESPERATE need of a glass of wine. Or a good shag.

from a Tertia-worshipper.

Hah! Welcome to my world... no Rose for me. :-( :-( (But at least I only have one... born the same day as yours... who IS sitting! :-b). Tehe...

Good luck, Tertia. I hope Rose comes back soon. I am reading some pretty sour comments here. Ladies, some of us are luckier in life, some are less, deal with it. Or if you really can't help being jealous, go read a blog by someone less fortunate. I may go get a pedicure now....

Anna... I don't see very many sour posts... only one in fact. Perhaps you don't get that people here have a sense of humor... and Tertia can take being teased...

I doubt that Tertia is any richer than the rest of us. I think there are differences in living styles because most of us readers live in the US and Tertia lives in SA. The level of poverty among have-nots there seems MUCH worse than here in the US. When someone is poor there, they seem to really have nothing. So middle-to-upper-class people employ who they can. That's just the economy. In our economy, we don't have as great a disparity.

Has anyone read the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series? Love those books and although they are set in Botswana and not South Africa, something the main character says made a lot of sense to me. She said it was the responsibility of people who could afford it to hire those without jobs to be maids or gardeners or housekeepers. Because otherwise those people have no way to make a living.

And it's all a matter of what you are used to...if you have a Rose and suddenly your Rose is not there, life gets harder. Everything is relative.

I'm a working mom of one, and with ALOT of help from Dad, we manage fine. But I can completely understand Tertia having someone to help out-3 kids + working is hectic!!!
I would certainly want a Rose if I had three kids, and could afford it.

Tertia, some people seem to have missed that you are trying to work at the same time while Rose is gone. I can vacuum the house, clean out the dishwasher, do the laundry or cook something just fine while looking after my kids, but I can not work on the computer with the kids around. Unfortunately that is exactly what I do for a living, so I feel for you. I would be out of a job without daycare/school. I don't know how you get any work done without Rose. I wouldn't. Oh - the household would run just fine, but I don't think that is your problem ;)

And all the best to Rose.

Half full, half empty I think. It is the end of the year, so I too feel the shortness of tolerance. But still.....

I am yet to figure out who God was peeved at when he created fleas and mozzies.

My sister-in-laws' nanny who has been working for her for 10 years always finds an excuse to go to the Transkei during December and January, usually for 6 weeks. I know of several other nannies who do exactly the same thing. One then wonders how many relatives pass away during this time of the year!! Coincidence with Rose, maybe or maybe not? Maybe get a char in for a few days a week to lighten the housework, it certainly does make things easier, I know as I have been on the same situation as you. We are definitely spoilt in this country, which I really love ( both the country and being spoilt). Enjoy the holidays and hope the kids don't drive you nuts too soon! x

(I was going to delete this lovely comment by 'Helen' because I felt it was a little rude towards Rose, but then I realized it was such a ridiculous comment, it was worth keeping for the entrainment value)

"As a nanny in NYC for the past 22 years i would say a kid who can't wipe his own behind at Adams age isn't exactly being raised by a real nanny either.And i shiver to think of the fecal(body fluids) material spread around that house.

So, um, what? Rose is not a 'real nanny' because we choose to wipe the kids bums ourselves? And surely there will be LESS fecal(body fluids) <-- love the explanation! just in case we weren't sure what 'fecal' meant -- around if an adult is wiping rather than a four year old?

But what do we know. We are mere South Africans and not NYC veteran nannies. Sigh. One can only dream....

(I think Helen didn't have her bum wiped enough as a child, she clearly has issues.)

I thought the same as Bianca. I only have 1 LB and I struggle to cope working and looking after him and the house. I'd also need full time help if I had 3.

The comment that Tertia is probably not "richer" than the rest of us gave me a wonderful laugh. Yes, of coruse, we all live in large homes, drive new cars and have live-in help. There's just no possible way that anyone poor or lower middle class or who is a nanny herself could have the wits to get on a computer and read this blog. No way at all.

Tertia, Do not panic, I have an answer for your question, "Who is going to look after them while I work/go to gym/have my feet done/drink?"

Their father or their grandparents, that's who. You're not alone.

Dominique, Isn't good help just so hard to find? Of course Rose is lying. She's been an absolutely angel in Tertia's life, so why not voice your doubt about her character.

And how nice for you to love the sub-human treatment of an entire race of human beings so that being spoilt is a fact of your life. Aren't you just a shining example of kindess and justice?

Wow! What the heck has gotten into people? Isn't this the season of peace, love, and joy? If you don't like this wonderfully witty and stress relieving blog (LOVED the fleas-the little you-know-whats can be so freakin' hard to get rid of!) then why bother reading it? And why be so negative in your comments? I'm not Little Merry Sunshine by any means but seriously! Lighten up! People blog to share their lives and you have the ability to NOT read this one. Thanks Tertia for sharing your world with us!

Jislaaik it! Mense!

I loved this post Tertia - and relate to almost every line barring the flea fucker part....my *Rose* has also gone home for 6wks.

Must say our Virgin Active has Club-V so my kids are begging me to go to gym....you dont have one over your side? I have even gone, not worked out, but WORKED there as you can leave them kidlets for 2hrs and they LOVE it!

Sorry, probably was not a good term to say Tertia was not "richer" than most of us. But I think her family is probably middle class to upper middle class in SA. And as such, they can afford to hire help, which from what I have read costs a HELL of a lot less there than it does here. And with so many people with no jobs there, it is a good thing to do as well.

My point was that she is not spoiled. She has three kids, a full time job, and a business. How can she work when the kids are home with no one to look after them? Unless she wants to put them all in front of the tv, then it's not possible. I know because my 5 year old twins won't let me get anything done either when they are home. And I don't have an infant as well. And if I want to keep my JOB, then I have to get someone to help me or I just can't work. Sometimes if my kids are home sick from school, I have to take the day off or I work after they are in bed.

Besides, I said nothing about someone's ability to get on the internet and read this blog depending upon how rich they are. I'm just saying, Tertia's situation is not that of a luxury lifestyle. She works hard and they have a nice home. Many many people who read this blog have the same.

I also said nothing about the intelligence level of nannies. I had a great nanny for my kids when they were younger. We love her dearly. Please don't read things into my post. I was just trying to point out that it's silly to judge lifestyles when we have no idea what it's like to live there or what it's like to be Tertia.

Oh my- the claws really are out today, aren't they? Peace, ladies!
Loved the post- I personally found it very funny :-)

I'm sorry... but my mind boggles at the fact that your son cannot wipe his own ass. And to announce it for the whole fucking world to hear - how wonderful his self esteem will be when he hits college and his peers find that out.

Not to mention how your children will feel when they are older and find this blog, see you bitching and moaning about having to step up, and you know, BE A MOTHER. Instead of feeling like the treasured gifts they should be, they will

Oh, and let's not forget the hurt they will feel when A & K see that you have a favourite child, and it is not them.

Oh to be a fly on the wall in their therapy sessions when they are older.

You disgust me for so many reasons. Your petty, selfish opinions about gifts you have received in the past. Your constant materialistic 'need' to improve your body, botox, waxing, breast implants... after you had a reduction none the less... but this obvious disregard for your children's privacy and dignity is the final straw to my diplomacy.

Sickened, why the bloody hell do you keep reading this blog if Tertia offends you so much? Talk about glutton for punishment! You absolutely do not get her sense of humour. Please go away.

Sickened, the reduction was for Rose, not Tertia. And had I had some spare change at the time, I would have glady donated to a great cause.

Tertia, love this post and can appreciate how busy you are. I understand why you wanted a break from this blog and am pissed at the assholes who keep ruining it for you and for us readers.

@ Sickened who clearly has no sense of humour AND continues to read this blog VERY regularly . wtf? bugger off if you are so offended.

A fair call, I continue to read the blog, because in between these publicly degrading posts about her children, there is a well-written, enthralling and amusing (yes, I do have a sense of humour) piece of writing, that is well worth a read.

I too, blog about my children, but you will not see me posting embarrassing, hurtful things about them, comparing them so unfavourably to one another, or complaining about my duty to raise them. They, their friends, or even future teachers and workmates may read this blog one day, and I do not want for my child at school to be constantly taunted by the fact that they still needed Mummy to wipe their bottom at Adam's age. (Which, for the record they were more than capable of, and thoroughly too.) Or, to find themselves hurt by the fact that I said (which I have never once actually considered, I am being hypothetical) that their mere existence was a burden and an infringement on my personal time, or that I preferred their little brother to them.

I would be willing to share my blog and prove my point, however as I have seen in the past the high-school clique behaviour among the Tertia-worshippers would only lead to some of you coming over purely to flame me (Zsuzsanna anyone?) Totally not something I need on my blog.

Motherhood is not a walk in the park, I get that. But it is something I chose to do, as did Tertia. There are certain sacrifices that come with having children, and were my children to ask me, I would tell them that being a Mummy is a LOT of hard work. But to sound as though I resent them for it, and to post it publicly for the whole world to see that they are a 'burden', joke or otherwise?

Oh, and Judge Helen was not referring to the faecal matter than would be spread around the house through an adult wiping Adam's rear, she was referring to the fact that he had not wiped before leaving the toilet and going to play with shared toys... and the thought of that makes me shudder too.

Oh god, by some of that spelling I can tell that 'sickened' comes from the same country I do. Tertia PLEASE know that we are not all like that. Totally embarrassed.

Do hope you're all right after reading the negative posts; no matter how long you blog for I doubt it ever gets easy reading such horrible words. Sending lots of lovexxxxxxxx

Wow, there was not an over-reaction at all was there T?

I could just see the funny side of what you write.

I am personally so fed up of doing the housework, I want to make up Tim Quilts, but the darned cotton threads are ruining my idea of a pristine home.

I have no home help what so ever. Admitted my man helps a bit, but I have to do the harder work, the mopping and dusting and vacumming.

And our house is a bit large. I suppose I am one of the 'spoilt' ones - ha!

Sickened - why dont you just bugger off on your high horse. Tertia, from one mere mortal mother of 4 boys (3 of them being 3 year old triplets)here in SA I totally understand your predicament. PS: my son only started wiping his own bum at 4 and is a completely normal popular 10 year old with absolutely no hang ups!


@Sickened "I worship though for though great mothering abilities and skill! I wish I also had your one-way ticket to heaven. You are so righteous and perfect in every aspect. Why can't all mothers be as perfect as you. Your kids are soooo lucky"

What a load of bullshit. You *sicken* me!! I am by no means a Tertia worshipper (the only person I worship is my husband when he brings me coffee in bed!) but I can tell you as a working mom - it's damn hard!

My kids stay with my mom during the day (yes I am fortunate and spoiled that way). As like Tertia I can't afford not too work, so what do you suggest we do sickened? Leave our kids home alone?

It is hypocrates like you that make me want to puke!!!!!!

Tertia good luck! My advice is loads and loads of duct tape!!!

Yes sickened I duct tape my kids to the wall when they interfere with my social life!

I only work part time but I dread losing my childcare! How are you meant to have a full time job without some kind of childcare? The fact you use a nanny instead of a nursery is a minor difference. God if my nursery announced suddenly they couldnt have my 2 children for an unspecified amount of time, but I had to still do my job? Not possible!

I could be a stay at home mum. But then I'd have to live off of welfare benefits being that I am a single mum. And believe me Tertia, being a full time working mum is nothing compared to the bashing you get for being someone on benefits. eck.

I get your humour. But then after 5 years of reading you'd bloody hope so.

My twins are Four and do not wipe themselves. I can't trust they'd do it right anyway.

LMAO @ Kate!

Ok - I only discovered Tertia yesterday. While babysitting for friends I read your entire book and was pretty much hooked.
Having lived in the the US for 6 years I have to agree that Americans just don't get the differences in SA.
I haven't had any household help for the last 8 years (2 in the UK) and I got my way through pretty much fine but now back I am in SA for about 6 months and I have the most amazing housekeeper. She is on leave now of course and man I cannot cope. I don't have kids - just a husband and 2 very spoilt dogs. I am technically on holiday - though working any way - so have no excuse but man a girl gets used to the help!
And damn we also have a nasty flea problem!

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