So Close

2009 / 2010

Wow, 2009 has been a huge year for me.  Just having a think about it now and realized what this year has meant for me. I have grown in so many areas of my life:

On a personal level, I have made some huge strides forward. Massive. I still see my shrink regularly (the one I have total transference with/for - LOVE that woman, she is amazing!) and this has been a big year for me on an emotional/psychological level.

I have also grown in family size with the birth of baby Max.  Before Max arrived, I was secretly really worried about how he would fit into the family. And to be honest, whether I would be able to love him as much as the twins. The twins were so special - my first (living) children, the babies I had fought so long and hard for.  How could I possibly love this freebie baby as much?  Well, oh my word! I am so completely, totally, ridiculous in love with Max.  I can't even begin to describe to you how in love with him I am and how special he is me.  Or maybe I can - if you are at the stage where you have had your last baby and you knew he was your last.  I am savouring every single moment.  I feel giddy with love.

I have grown in terms of exercise - 2009 saw me inside a gym for the first time in years.  Can't believe I eventually took that step.

I have grown in a material sense as well - new bigger house, bigger car.  Bigger debt, but we wont talk about that now.

My business has grown and has become even more fulfilling.  We had our first Nurture babies born early this year and since then have had so many babies born through our egg donor and our surrogacy program.  What a magnificent, special, humbling process to be part of.  

2009 has been a great year for me. It has had its difficulties, but life wouldn't be what it is without some hardship. How else would we appreciate the good if we didn't have some hardship to compare it to?  We nearly lost my father, but he made it through two heart attacks, open heart surgery and a stroke - and it has made us even more appreciative of how precious family is.  My mother is doing well. 

It has been a great year. And I think 2010 is going to be even better! I can feel it in my waters, 2010 is going to be a big year for me.  Looking very forward to it! Hope it is an excellent year for all of you too. 

The new house

We hosted Christmas at our house yesterday, which meant it was the perfect opportunity to take some loooooong awaited pics of the new house as promised.  Eventually!  Only took about 7 months to do.  (Yesterday was a good day as the house was neat and tidy in preparation for the guests). 

The house is U shaped, with the kids bedrooms down the one side and the main bedroom, Marko's TV room and my study on the other side.  At the top of the U is the lounge/dining room and kitchen.  In the middle of the U is the patio and pool.

I've put the photos up on my Flickr acount here.  Now, a word or two of warning before you look at the pics:

1. I am a VERY amateur photographer. Please forgive my terrible photo skills. There are no artistic shots that show off a certain nook or corner of the house. I tried to do a walk around, taking pics as I go along.  I am quite sure if someone with a certain level of skill had to take the photos, everything would look a lot fancier.

2. If my photography skills are somewhat lacking, I am even worse when it comes to decorating / being creative. Some people have natural flair for interior decorating, I am as good at it as I am at cooking. So please view with a kind eye.

3. Please don't worry about me being stalked now that I am posting pics of my house. There are 24 hour guards that patrol the estate, I have armed response, two dogs, burglar alarms, electric fence and motion sensors in the house. I think I will be ok.

4. I am quite sure something about this post will offend / upset / annoy at least some / most / all of you.  I suggest you deal with it internally and remember that age old piece of advice? Don't like? Don't read.  

PS I really am quite proud of the house and what Marko and I have achieved together. Please don't be an asshole and say horrible things. 

PPS I hate that a few people have made me feel all self-conscious about posting the pics. Gah. Irritating.

It's not that we are bossy, we just know what should be done

[8:17:43 PM] Melany: man flu...Tony
[8:17:48 PM] Melany: been in bed whole day
[8:17:58 PM] Tertia: shampies (SA slang for 'poor dear')
[8:18:23 PM] Melany: better get better real quick as has chores whilst on leave
[8:19:07 PM] Tertia: LOL, you wont believe this (actually you might), but i  just stuck a note up on the fridge for Marko of all the chores he has to do while on leave
[8:19:16 PM] Tertia: are we bossy?
[8:19:41 PM] Melany: hahaaaaaaaaaa!!!! no...we just know what needs to be done...and unfortunately we have to s p e l l it out

 

Please don't be alarmed at the brevity of the list. I didn't want to upset him by posting his entire holiday To Do list in one go. Those were just the chores for the next 24 hours.

Early education is so important

Book kindly given to us by the lovely Millie a lifetime time ago, before Max and long before the beautiful Eleanor. 

PS That BlackBerry must have THE worst camera in the world. Luckily I love and adore it so much or else I might have been forced to throw it out the window. (Idle threat. My life would be empty and meaningless without my BB.)

Top 50 Mommy Bloggers

A few years ago, in the throws of my infertility, never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be listed as one of the "Top Mommy Bloggers".  Cool huh.  Not too shabby for a South African gal. Check out the list here

I know some people don't like the label "mommy blogger", but I frankly don't care. I am a mother and I blog. If it makes people feel better to categorize me as a mommy blogger, then so be it. And let's be honest, it's a damn site better than being listed as one of the Top 50 Asshole Bloggers.

This is the point where I stick my fingers in ears and say I CAN'T HEAR YOU! <-- For those of you who are saying "Well, if there was a list of Top Asshole Bloggers, YOU'D BE NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST!

The One and Only Tertia

As if there was not enough hate-fodder out there, guess what I will be doing in January? 

Clue:

 

The FABULOUS people at the very swanky One and Only Spa have invited me to have a  beauty treatment, on the house!  You have no idea how excited I am.  This is what they suggested I have (how did they know!!)

One&Only Body Wrap – Unwind Envelopment (60 mins)

Ideal for dry, dehydrated skin requiring nourishment and hydration. This envelopment uses ESPA Marine Mud, blended with skin softening essential oils which have moisturising and conditioning properties. Perfect for women who have had 3 weeks of non-stop intense quality time with their offspring, even though they should be just shut up and be grateful.

Re-hydrator Facial (60mins)

Ideal for dry, dehydrated and tired skin, this rehydrating facial is an excellent regenerating boost. Gentle deep-cleansing and exfoliation helps the skin to improve the absorption of nourishing facial oils and botanical rescue balm. The result is smooth, nourished skin. Ideal for women whose blog readers think she is a spoilt, ungrateful brat who should be taken outside and shot at dawn.

I am beyond excited.  At first I thought I would miss out.  The lovely Adele emailed me last week offering me a free treatment, to happen anytime within the next week.  O.M.F!!  Had she not read my blog??  Did she not know I am unable to leave the house even for two minutes sans the kids, never mind two hours. I nearly wept.  I wrote back explaining that sadly I would have to miss out, but thank you very much and dear god how could you be so cruel as to tease me like this. And then she said I could delay until January, woohooo!

Apparently the hotel is VERY smart, it's where all the rich, famous people hang out. So on the day of my treatment, I shall disguise myself as a palm frond and go leopard crawling around the corridors with my point-n-click and take some photos of the celebs.  I will report back in detail.

I am a lucky fish.

Hey!  I have an idea! I am going to ask Adele whether they would sponsor another treatment for free and then someone can come with me!!  That's a brilliant idea! A blog reader could come with me. Hold on, wouldn't that be awkward..... I'd have to share a spa treatment with someone I don't know and who might secretly hate me....hmmm...I'd have to make idle conversation....Oh what the hell, it might be fun and it would be great for someone else to experience a bit of luxury me-time.

Ok, hold on, before I get ahead of myself, let me check with Adele that this is possible.  (Do you think it would be rude to ask for two extra spots?  That way if the prize winner is a murderous stalker, there will be a witness to my fatal demise)

Very excited now, VERY! 

Jeez Louise, hold on to your broeks!*

* broeks is Afrikaans slang for panties

Wow, I go away for two days and all hell breaks loose! I haven't had time to read your recent comments properly, but a quick glance at my BlackBerry tells me that things have got a little heated around here.

I've been away for two days, did you miss me?  Or did you not even notice I was gone, you fair-weather fickle friends of mine!

I had a little trip planned for Monday and Tuesday, but due to Rose's early leave, I had to do some fancy footwork to arrange care of the offspring while I was away.  Marko is at work during the day, schools are closed, Rose is away so I was pretty stuck.  Luckily my lovely mother helped out with the twins, but I had no one to look after old Maxie boy so I took him with me!  He was SUCH a superstar on the trip.  Very good on the flight up to Joburg and mostly quite good on the flight back (he was quite tired so cried a little, but was mostly really good). I met Rose in Joburg at the airport (she was delighted to see her charge) and then we all went back to the hotel. Rose and Max went off to do their thing and I had a few appointments.  I booked a hotel room for Rose and Max, and another one for myself.  The prospect of a full night's sleep was VERY alluring.  Unfortunately I worked until 11 and then was WIDE AWAKE at 5am.  But it's the thought that counts, so they say.

It seems strange to take Max aalllll the way to Joburg with me but it worked out really well.  It was so fun to see Rose, Max had a great time and I felt much better knowing that he was close by and well looked after. 

I must say, I felt quite proud of me.  I am normally SUPER anal about routine and about staying home etc, but there I was, baby and all, winging my way across the country!  Go me!  Getting quite adventurous in my old age. Next stop - BINGO! 

PS Max really is THE most friendly, sweet, easy baby in the world. I am so damn lucky! 
I am very fond of that chap.

The eight stages of WTF!

You've heard of Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief?  Well this is Albertyn's Eight Stages of WTF when it comes to dealing with blog asshole'iness.

Amusement:

Haha!  I *knew* my previous post would get a reaction out of you!  You can be soooo predictable at times.  You DO realize I write for effect, don't you?  That I put on a teeny little bit to make otherwise boring life events a little more entertaining?  Imagine how much fun it would be if I did updates like:  "Rose has gone away which means that on top of having to do a full day's work I also have to look after the kids which I am not complaining about because I love my children and I am very grateful that I am their mother and people have it much worse than me and there are children starving in Africa and who I am to complain because some people don't have jobs or children or OMF!! a swimming in their backyard"

Attempt at explaining:

Darling hearts, I am not sure whether you've forgotten this but I WORK. FULL TIME.  Now, if I have to look after the kids full time then clearly, logically, mathematically and common-sensically, I CAN'T WORK.  Yes, I *know* that some of you work full time AND take care of your kids.  But I also know that unless you have invented a way to clone yourself or add an additional 8 hours a day, you are most definitely NOT working full time and looking after the children at the same time because if you are, someone is getting the short end of the stick.

Driving the point home:

To the all the SAHM who manage just fine without help, good for you!  Lucky fish that you can afford not to work.  I can't. Unfortunately we can't survive on one salary (yes, even with cutting back and eating dry bread and water and not buying new clothes or new toilet paper or ANYTHING). So I work. Which means I need help with the kids during my working day (see point two above).  I choose to have a nanny at home rather than send my kids to day care. I am comfortable with my choice, I hope you are with yours.

Getting defensive:

I love my children, very much. They are more important to me than anything, than life itself.  I know that, they know that and to be perfectly honest, I don't really care about very much else, especially whether you approve or not.  (And my husband! I am quite fond of him too)

Getting pissed off:

And WTF is the 'she is richer / not richer than us' thing?  What on earth has that got to do with anything?  When did this become about you?  I am 41 years old, I have studied hard and worked hard for what I have. I make no apologies for this.  I am sorry if what I have or don't have, or what I do or don't do upsets you.  That is your issue, not mine. Deal with it. 

Stating the obvious:

South Africa is not America.  Life is different here. Not better, not worse.  Just different.  Fact.

Asking the question:

Then a question, and you need to be entirely honest here: if you lived in a country where the unemployment rate was over 50% and many people lived below the poverty line because they were unable to get jobs, would you create decent, well remunerated employment for some or would you rather stay up on your high horse and refuse having any 'help' because (insert some holier-than-thou explanation here)?  If you could have someone like Rose help you, wouldn't you accept the help with open arms?*

Moving on:

Ok I am bored now. It's like having to e x p l a i n  a joke to someone who clearly doesn't get it the first time around. It becomes decidedly less funny having to explain the punchline. This was meant to be a tongue in cheek post that took the piss at MYSELF, if you didn't get that, sorry for you.  To those who got it the first time around, well done!  You can have a dip in my swimming pool as reward.

*I am running an office pool on how many people are going to say "Oh, I would save the money I would have spent on a nanny and stop working so that I can raise my kids myself and go to heaven, not like her who is a spoilt brat with a NANNY, A NEW CAR AND A SWIMMING POOL".  

PS and to the person who said Rose is not a real nanny because Adam can't wipe his bum? Fuck off. 

Revolting little fuckers

On Monday Rose got some bad news, which meant that she had to leave for home as soon as possible.  She left for Joburg the next morning at 6.  Which means that I have suddenly been thrust into full time mom, which means, to put it delicately, I am fucking terrified.  Well, not really terrified, but terribly bloody busy.

If my only 'job' was to look after three kids all day, everyday, 24/7, day and night (omg, help!) then with some help from booze and pills, I could do it.  (Note: the booze and pills are for me, not them. I don't share my booze and pills with anyone).  But working AND being a full time mom?  Bloody difficult.

I have had to cancel my pedicure, plus all my gym sessions (OMG, I have SUCH a hard life, can you hear the violins playing?)  Who is going to look after them while I work/go to gym/have my feet done/drink?  No one.  I will be a full time mom with shabby feet and flabby thighs.  Just beautiful.

Anywayyyyy, moving on swiftly.....

I saw another flea on my foot yesterday morning.  That was one flea too many. I called pest control immediately and got the chap in to spray the whole house.  Sent dogs off to be dipped.  Dashed off to the vet to get advantage/frontline/capstar/AK47 to blast those motherfucking fleas to hell and gone.  Revolting little fuckers.  

BTW, if you are ever looking to get rid of any revolting little fuckers of your own (fleas / cockroaches / kids / other scary small things), get hold of Angelo from Libra Pest Control - what an efficient, professional chap.  He was outstanding.  And extremely reasonable. librapest at mweb dot co dot za

PS I have 17,000 chairs in my house, but my daughter insists on sharing the kitchen stool with me. 

PPS Funny story - Yesterday while we were in the car, I saw someone I knew who had put on quite a bit of weight, and before I could stop myself, I mumbled under my breath 'oh my word lady, you've become quite chunky'.  Not my finest moment, sorry.  Kate asked me what chunky meant and I said (for lack of a better explanation) "it means you've got a bit of a big bum".  Kate then says "Oh ok.  Mom, you are quite chunky too".  I laughed out loud and said "oh really?  Am I a bit chunky as well?"  Well yes, she says, you've also got a bit of a big bum.  So there you go.  That will teach me to call people chunky.  Bit of a case of the big bummed pot calling the kettle chunky!

PPPS School broke up today.  We are now together ALL DAY LONG.  I am unbelievably excited about that.  

PPPPS  Max still the favourite.  Such a sweet boy that.  Almost 7 months old.  Not at the top of his class though as still not sitting etc.  (Rose hates it when I say that!  That will teach her for leaving me)

PPPPPS Adam is now sitting on the chair as well.  Annndddd he has just headbutted me by accident. I better go.  Send reinforcements!

Fleas on dogs

Help!!  Try as I may, I can't get rid of the fleas on Shelly (Golden Retriever, very long hair).  The poor dog is going nuts.  Bruno (Ridgeback) does not have the same problem.

I used Capstar and that tick and flea oil stuff at the back of her neck, it seems to make no difference?  I know it is very hot here due to it being summer but nothing seems to be working.

What should I do and how often should I do it?  What should I do immediately to help her and then what should I do as maintenance.

PS Found two fleas on my feet this weekend.  Fleas on the dog are one thing, fleas on my feet are quite another.

PPS The dog is an outside dog.