Dear ________, Love, me

I need some advice.  As you know (because I've told you ad nauseam), I am extremely unbelievably very (VERY!) busy.  Too busy for my own good.  Not that I am complaining too much - a busy life is a full life and I would far rather have a life that is a little too full than too empty.

However, I have realized that I need to focus my limited resources (time and energy) into the things that are most important - firstly my kids, secondly my income.  Oh, and my marriage, but I will be the first to admit that my poor long-suffering husband often goes short-changed. 

There are things that I want to do, things that take up a huge amount of my time but that don't satisfy my three main priorities (kids, marriage, income).  Which means they go to the bottom of the queue for when I have time. Haha, time.  Right.

One of these things is my personal email.  I get lots of emails on a weekly basis from wonderful people around the world who have either read my book, or my blog, or have heard about my story.  They send very moving emails, reaching out to me, asking for support or just an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on.

"Hi Tertia, my name is xxx.  My husband and I are battling with fertility...."

"Hi Tertia,I don't know even where to start..... I really don't know where to turn next and I desperately needs advice...."

And I am embarrassed to say that I have not gotten back to many of them.  I whip through my personal emails when I have time, answering what I can, when I can and I 'save' the special ones for when I have time to compose a decent response. I have emails that are over 3 months old that are still waiting for the time and the decent response.  Truth is, I am not going to get the time unless I take time away from any of the three priorities.  Or never sleep again.

So what do I do?  Do I send a polite auto response saying "thank you very much for your email, I would love to respond however I do not have the time"? That sounds incredibly heartless.  Do I just ignore them?  That sounds worse. I would feel very hurt if I had sent a heartfelt email to someone and they ignored me.  Do I create a standard template that says something like "Dear ______, thanks for your email. I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.  I hope things work out for you soon.  Kind regards, Tertia" . So unfeeling.

It sounds ridiculous - how long does it take someone to answer an email?  Well, it takes more than a few minutes to read the email, digest it, and compose a proper response. I quite honestly don't have those 100x 10 minutes it takes.

I have another plan that I wanted to bounce off you.  I have a wonderful friend who works with me, and who has been through even more IVFs than I have.  She knows this world as well and as painfully as I do. I thought of asking her to respond on my behalf.  To offer the support and guidance that these people are asking me to do? What do you think?  She is keen to do it, so that is no problem, it is just that I am not sure how it will come across?

So, what would you do if you had a hundred emails in your in box, waiting for answers and support that you don't have the capacity to give?  Ignore, auto response, standard template or ask-a-friend?

Comments

[Debbie]

I think getting your friend to reply is a great idea.
She could then give each person a nice heartfelt reply instead of an automated one.
One way of spreading your workload.I have stopped giving my e-mail address out to just anyone,tired of all the jokes,pictures,ets...DEL!

[Orange]

I'm with Debbie. Delegating the personal replies to a friend—one who's just as capable of understanding infertility issues and advising people accordingly—would be truly compassionate. You could probably enlist a small group of seasoned infertiles to share that workload if it becomes too much for your friend to handle, too.

[Jennifer]

I would definitely phone-a-friend. It sounds like she can provide the same sage advice you would, which is better by far than no response at all. Do it! I like Orange's idea, too, about creating a small network of women who could take turns addressing such emails.

[wowen]

I agree. Get your friend-s to respond. If there is something that she thinks needs your personal attention she can let you know, otherwise, if you trust her advice, let her help these women.

[Beth]

I guess I just don't assume that someone who's written a book and a blog (ie, who's "famous") is automatically going to have the time or interest to respond to a personal letter or email from a reader. I think those who write to you in this way are being a bit presumptuous. They may hope you'll respond personally, but they don't have the right to expect it. And really, there are many other ways they can have their questions answered and their issues addressed... whether it be consulting with their own reproductive endocrinologist, participating in an online community with other infertiles, or talking to a therapist or clergy member. I think the automated response, if it's kind and honest, would not be inappropriate...you could explain your inability to respond personally, and suggest various resources they could pursue. The option of a friend answering your emails (from people you don't already know) is a very generous response, in my opinion, and the recipients should be grateful for that.

I say this as someone who actually was presumptuous enough to write to you out of blue, and you took the time to write to me and meet me. I don't take that lightly; you are an extremely caring and generous woman! I know you would love to do that for everybody. But given your current responsibilities, it's completely understandable that you need to prioritize your time, and I'm sure the number of emails has exploded since the publication of your book. I think you're wise to figure out a way to keep your life on track, and not get bogged down in things that drain your time away from those you love. I hope you can find that balance, and feel good about it.

[Beth]

I guess I just don't assume that someone who's written a book and a blog (ie, who's "famous") is automatically going to have the time or interest to respond to a personal letter or email from a reader. I think those who write to you in this way are being a bit presumptuous. They may hope you'll respond personally, but they don't have the right to expect it. And really, there are many other ways they can have their questions answered and their issues addressed... whether it be consulting with their own reproductive endocrinologist, participating in an online community with other infertiles, or talking to a therapist or clergy member. I think the automated response, if it's kind and honest, would not be inappropriate...you could explain your inability to respond personally, and suggest various resources they could pursue. The option of a friend answering your emails (from people you don't already know) is a very generous response, in my opinion, and the recipients should be grateful for that.

I say this as someone who actually was presumptuous enough to write to you out of blue, and you took the time to write to me and meet me. I don't take that lightly; you are an extremely caring and generous woman! I know you would love to do that for everybody. But given your current responsibilities, it's completely understandable that you need to prioritize your time, and I'm sure the number of emails has exploded since the publication of your book. I think you're wise to figure out a way to keep your life on track, and not get bogged down in things that drain your time away from those you love. I hope you can find that balance, and feel good about it.

[Beth]

I think that's a good idea as long as the responses are signed by your friend and you don't pretend that they are coming from you.

[Evie]

I'd direct them to StirrupQueen's blogroll. Surely, in that great list of blogs they will find the answer...their next step..inspiration to keep going. Honestly, this is not your problem; if these folks are writing to you expecting you to come up with the "answer" about what they should do reproductively---well that's just pathetic. Rule Number One of infertility is take responsibility for your choices, don't farm it out to a stranger!.

[Kathy_B]

Having someone else answer those emails is absolutely acceptable. You need to spend more time on your marriage.

Also, I would get a second email and give it to just my close friends and family. That way you don't have to sift through all the infertility stuff to get to your personal emails. This has two advantages. One, your new assistant won't have to filter through your personal emails, second, you won't even see the other st uff and won't have to feel guilty about not answering them.

[Sue]

I was going to suggest having help answering them. I mean, it's not like you don't READ them yourself. You do. And you recognize the importance of them having a meaningful connection with someone who can be there for them. There's got to be a way for all that to happen. I'd say pursue the idea of having a co-pen pal.

[Vee]

Give up your high-powered job and become a stay-at-home full time Mom and Wife, adviser and blogger. No additional income is worth giving less than you can while the kids are growing up! Scale down - just my opinion of course.

Personally I feel there are so many other organisations one can turn to if one wants advice. Writing a personal email to someone who blogs and has written a book is just not on. As you say, you have to consider your priorities first and foremost.

[Charmaine]

Tertia, you know I was with you during those original TTC years. Having your friend do this I think is a great idea if she is willing. I would much rather have that personal touch than an auto response and you are only capapble of doing so much. Your friend can be like a personal assistant helping you. There is nothing wrong with that and anyone that has been thru this horrible roller coaster truly understands what we all go thru. I know you are so passionate about helping everyone and that is why this is bothering you so much because you have been in their shoes and your desire to be a Mom, your knowing the pain of loss, disappointment of failed IVF's etc etc. Tertia you have such a big heart. No matter what you decide to do I am sure people will understand. Even an auto response, people will understand how busy you are Tertia. You have helped so many people just by everything you do and there are only so many hours in a day, just by writing this they will understand. Your family has to come first and you spread yourself so thin but it is because you are so passionate about helping others. So many people email you because they admire what you have been thru and how strong you are.

[21stCenturyMom]

1). Put an autoresponder on your personal email that says (in the way only you can say it) that you care, that you are really busy, that you hate sending an auto response but you want the person to get something and you may never find a moment for a personal response and then list some good resources

2). Yes on the friend -I'm sure she'd love to do it and anyone who got the auto response would be thrilled to get a personal response.

3). Do what you have to do to make your life work

I saw this really interesting show on an ultra-swimmer named Diana Nyad. She tried to swim from Cuba to Florida but after 42 hours the seas got too rough so then she swam from Bimini Island to Florida - 90 miles. She's amazing. Now she works with other athletes of various types in a volunteer capacity. She travels all over the world and helps wounded athletes, women who want to get in shape, etc. At the end of the show she said that you can't go all the places you want to go and you can't do all the things you want to do but when she dies she will know that she gave her life her all and that will be enough.

You give your life your all then some. You might need to trim back on the 'some'

[Kimbal]

Nothing wrong with your friend who has been down this road responding on your behalf.

X

[jane]

First thing I would do is have a separate email address for work, personal and other (this sort of email) Have an auto response on the other saying that the email was received and that you are limited in your capabilities to respond to each and every person but would have someone else get back to them if you can't.

I know how long it can take just to go through work emails, definitely would never be able to answer all of those. And I'm certain people would understand. Definitely have someone else respond if you can.

[Photographer Lori]

I like the auto response with the resources list and a sweet note saying you would love to answer personally and will...at some point. Hang in there, etc etc etc (with your niceness of course)

Then have your friend answer with a personal email.

:)

[Heather]

It's another project, but a FAQ page where you answer the most frequent questions could work. I suppose everyone's situations are pretty unique though and they would want a response geared toward them. In that case, go with your friend!

[Emma in Amsterdam]

Something else: make sure people know you likely won't be able to reply to their e-mail (yourself). I mean: put an "I'm sorry, you're welcome, but" message near your e-mail address on this site, so readers can decide if they still want to e-mail you.

[Joni]

I reckon ask-a-friend.... or refer them to a list of infertility websites where they can get support?

[Tania]

The more you do, the more you want to do, we really are like hamsters on wheels sometimes :-)
I say, get a PA to screen your emails and agree that you should have a separate email for close friends. And a proper PA will probably manage to take away a lot of other crap you need to worry about.
Hey just my 2 cents' worth :-)

[jimini]

yeh, Tertia

Quit your job and you guys can live off love.Ha! You don't need money.

[Heather G]

I agree with the auto-response but don't think your friend should read the e-mails, as they have been sent to you personally and that could be a breach of trust. In the auto-response you could give the list of agencies etc. but also a list of a couple of your contacts if the person wants a personal response.

[colicmommy]

I don't think your friend should respond. That's weird--write to one person and some other random person replies? People write to you because they feel like they know you. They feel like they are your "friend".

Of course, it's ridiculous if one stops to think about it. We are not your "friends". Blog readers are more like fans than friends, if you will. So I personally think that anyone who emails you expecting life counseling or fertility advice or a psychotherapy is not thinking it all through.

I think your best bet is to have pre-fab short replies at the ready to pop off to these people. They can include links to info sites and blogs and books, too, as many have said. Just explain in your pre-fab reply precisely what you said in this post.

For some reason I dislike the friend replying bit. I think it's odd. I also think your friend has better things to do than counsel people for free--people who are not friends or family but just random strangers.....

[Kerry]

Hi
I haven't read all the rsponses but I thought I'd leave you my thoughts even if they are redundant by now!
You might have an auomatic reply to a separate email account (not your personal one)with your friend's email address if she wants to get involved. I don't see a problem with your friend responding, however I would have a pre-agreed "copy and paste option" regarding information etc that might help out your friend too.
The other concern would be liability issues regarding offering options/optinions without some kind of disclaimer.
You are right to go this route, no fan club/author/somebody abfab answers their own mail do they?!

[Jennifer (Conversion Diary)]

Hey Tertia! I can completely relate. I also get a lot of emails from readers, and they often contain deeply personal, touching stories. For a while I tried to reply to every single one, but then I started getting complaints from people who felt blown off if my reply was too short. I've thought a LOT about this over the past couple of years, and have come up with this:

Drink.

No, wait, there was another solution as well...what was it? Ah, yes:

- I have an auto-responder on my blog email that lets people know that I read every single email, love hearing from them, and unfortunately may not be able to reply to their email -- at least that way they can know that I received it.

- I've tried to be better about managing personal email to give me more time for blog email, coming up with a system I actually just wrote about yesterday: http://tinyurl.com/yzj3c3k

- Rather than just have a link directly to my email address on the main page, when readers click on the "Contact me" link they get this page that explains what my deal is with email: http://tinyurl.com/yf6brjt (Honestly, this has probably been the biggest help.)

- I've also recruited a sort of assistant, but I reply quickly to readers to ask if I can forward their emails...but then it's complicated because they're probably wondering why *I* don't just reply if I have time to reply and ask them if someone else can reply. Ugh. Not the solution I hoped it would be.

- Funny you should bring this up today, because just last night I emailed a priest I know who was very close to Mother Teresa. I said that she must have gotten much more correspondence than she could ever dream of replying to, and asked him what she did about it. He said that she tried to give quick, to-the-point replies to everyone she could, and felt at peace about the rest that she couldn't get to, believing that if she were meant to be able to reply to someone that it would work out, and if she couldn't do it and maintain her peace then it simply wasn't meant to be. I've been thinking about that a lot today.

Anyway, I say all this with 352 yet-unreplied-to reader emails sitting in my blog inbox, so it's not like I have it all figured out, but I hope that helps a bit! :)

[Leigh from 123 blog]

Oh Tertia, don't make this harder than it has to be.

I have a virtual assistant and have no qualms - that is money very well spent so I can have more time for my little babies. This has worked very well for me for the last 18 months or so.

I would definitely delegate the email, either to your friend (but I'd pay so she doesn't feel like SHE's giving up all her free time) or someone similar. Have some standard-ish templates but obviously they know you and know your tone you'd normally respond in. I gave my VA a manual (yip, I did - just call me control freak) with my tone and what to do/ say in about 10 - 15 different scenarios.

Then they copy you on a couple just to start .... and then they're at it properly when you're happy with the style (it is representing you after all)

i like the faq idea - especially to things you may have answered on your blog but ages ago. I know I've been trawling through your archives for answers to help my twins but it does take time so maybe common links somewhere...

hope this helps!

[Heidi]

Ask your friend - the people reaching out to you will be thrilled to get any kind of response. I emailed you several years ago while I was battling infertility and you wrote back to me - it meant so much to me because I knew how busy you were and how many emails you get on a daily basis. A thoughtful response from your friend will be better than no response or a generic one.

Keep up the good work. We love you!

[KLG from Boston]

These are surely redundant, but...
- Allow your friend to respond, but set up a new personal email. This way you can control who sends you what and have newer 'Dear T' emails directed to a more generic address. This will take the burden off you to read and respond and will lower the expectation of the intitial sender that you personally will be responding. I'm not a fan of having someone else write under your name from your inbox and this gets rid of the explination piece of why Friend 1 is writing on behalf of you.

Personally if I email a stranger I don't expect an immediate response or something from the intitial target. Especially when the target is known to have a full plate. You can't be everything to everyone and delegation is a great way more effectively manage the situation.

[Suraita]

I like the idea of having your friend respond. Maybe you could put in a standard starting paragraph - I'd love to respond to you but I simply can't right now, but I don't want you to go unaswered so here's my lovely friend who knows what we're talking about? Sort of like an auto reply but in your friend's email. Then they get a response from you but also something more specific and longer from your friend who is able to do that.

[T. Hudson]

I second (third) the Virtual Assistant idea. Perhaps that person can even take more things off your plate so that you can get more done and have more time with the top three priorities.

Also the FAQ and the kind auto-respond that says, "I love and read your mail, yes all of them. I just don't always have the time to personally respond. You may hear from XXXXX who I have asked to handle my e-mail. blah blah blah"

Congrats on success. You've earned it.

[JH]

Morning!

Some of these emails you receive will eventually (unfortunately) link to your 'income' priority -Nurture.

Some will and have travelled far to use Nurture's services. You are the advertising for the brand. It is what happened as a result of your experiences, your book and the blog. You give it a face, a personality, first-hand experience, you give it the edge the other companies offering similar do not have. Therefore, I think a response is necessary. It does not need to be you. Your friend is perfect to respond, an auto-response mentioning - thanks appreciate you took the time to write, hope you understand no time to reply (if you don't tough sh*t) , friend will reply, see FAQ in the meantime - is perfect.

BTW - I think your 'When is it time to stop trying' is one of your most important fertility postings.

[Beth]

I'm pretty shocked that some people are suggesting you let your "assistant" pretend they are you... at least that's what it sounded like a few folks were saying. Absolutely don't do that! If it's someone else responding to your emails, the recipient has to know that it's not really you; to pretend that it is seems really creepy and deceptive to me. Be above board about it. (But really, I don't see the need to waste either your time or your friends' time; it's really not your responsibility to provide free counseling services to total strangers.)

[asimplemom]

I say an automated response but make it more personal, yes you are already busy with your "life" and priorties but at the same time you are writing to an audience and you are expected to get responses just as we (I) am typing now that you are taking your time to read, why not give those people the same respect.

I dont mean to be harsh but there is a proper way to handle it without it taking more "time" of your life.

Do it yourself and reach back and those who reach to you, type something up that can be used as a generic letter but comes from the heart.

Good luck

[Kristin]

I think the ask-a-friend sounds like a wonderful idea.

[Tripsmom]

I don't think you friend should respond. If you cant find the time (fully understandable) to personally reply - don't make your email available. If you make your email available then it is your responsibility to resond. Its like making an appointment with your doctor and when you get there someone else sees you - weird. Rather have an automated response explaining that not all emails will be answered and list other sources of help - including your friends email - then it is their choice which route to go.

[BiancaW]

I have mailed you....AND had a response. :-)

I would not be offended if I got a response from someone else. I respond to e-mails on behalf of my boss all the time. Thats my job - I am his PA.

And!

If I lived in Cape Town I would be knocking on your door (well not really, but you know what I mean) to be your PA. I would totally pull your world together. :-) Modest hey!?

[threeminutepalaver]

If I were you, I would just remove my email address from the blog and delete all the unread random emails from strangers. The fact is, they managed to find you, so they will also find all the other IVP / IF blogs and support will come where it's more appropriate and willing. Nobody ever just has one option. And to think you are their only hope or ear is just wrong. and I think if you continue to keep your email address listed, then you should also provide a disclaimer on your blog that you don't have the time to respond to unsolicited messages from strangers and engage a friendly but to the point automated response that's written by you for the messages that still get through.

[Kim @ Beautiful Wreck]

Hmmm, maybe you could do a little of it all. Like an auto response that the email was received and how you appreciate them writing to you personally. Then answer a few yourself and delegate the rest to a friend who is willing.

[Sharon]

FAQ also PA to sort and answer some & forward to you more emergent ones. Explain it all for those who choose to email. Good luck. ;-)

[Lena]

I agree with having a separate e-mail account. I see nothing wrong with using a PA. In the responses your PA can explain that you have read the e-mail, thanks so much, etc., etc. (could be a stnd template)

For the e-mails requesting advice - you can have stnd paragraph explaining that you do not have the time to respond to all, who the PA/Friend is giving the advice, etc.

[4katnap]

Before I even got to teh part about teh friend that coudl help I thought "Man she really needs someone that can help with those e-mails". Yep, use the friend. If she has somethign that really needs your touch she can call you tell you the main details and you can give her a quick verbal assist.

Like in all things if you need help find a good reliable person that can help and take their help. You'd let your mom (dad, Rose) help with the kids or house if you were in a bad spot and needed it. Let your friend help and everyone wins.

[jeni]

I would not have a friend to it. I don't think all people expect a response from you. There are forums, real like friends etc who can give advice. I don't think you should stress out about not responding. That is not your job. It should not be a top priority in your life. You write a blog, yes, but you don't know the people commenting or emailing. I think an automatic response is fine, and I agree with above to just remove your email for public to use. I think people can comment if they want to comment, there is not need for you to get hundreds of emails. It takes away from the important things in your life (family)

[Jackie Hall]

I think the people emailing are reaching out for answers. If your friend just explains that you are swamped right now but wanted to get some kind of answer or help for them I think they would be understanding. It is better than no reply. That is very sweet of your friend and it would take a load off of you and the person your friend would be helping.

I think if I were in their boat I would like any kind of reply even if it wasn't the one expected.

Good luck!

[Macca]

I've not had time to read all the comments above but I'd also put a sidebar on your blog along the lines of your personal emails being unmanageable and from now on you'll be having a proxy answer any as you simply have no capacity. Be up front, before people have a chance to email and set clear expectations.

[Maggie]

Yes, definitely ask your friend. These people are desperate for advice from someone who has been through it. While receiving advice from you directly would be so wonderful and touching, they really just need any helpful input at all.

[Jeannnie]

Not sure how I feel about the friend. I think an auto-reply like someone else uses that says "I read all my e-mails, and I love getting them, but I really may not have time to reply, please don't take it personally," should suffice.

I once sent you a ridiculously long e-mail, and you very graciously responded to it. I actually thought I might have offended you until I got your response, as stupid as that is, and as presumptuous. I am embarrassed that I even expected a response. If I had received the auto-response as above, I would have been perfectly satisfied.

I suppose if someone sounds absolutely desperate it might make sense for your friend to respond to the e-mail rather than for the person to get an auto-response. But I might feel weird reaching out to someone with a deeply personal story and getting a response from a complete stranger. Not sure. It would probably depend on the nature of the e-mail.

Either way, the whole world is not your burden. You cannot possibly be expected to respond to everyone. I think the auto-reply, and a FAQ section might suffice, with your friend as a backup for the truly desperate, or maybe for someone who really is seeking more practical advice that your friend can offer as well as you.

I envy all your busy-ness. My work is slow, I feel like a slug, and I wish that I could get more energy to do something with myself. I admire your drive tremendously. Hey, maybe I should answer your e-mails! (Just kidding.)

[jb]

like the friend idea better than the auto reply idea, and I think better than the no reply since I know, having been in the thick of this stuff getting a personal response is good....I say go for it...

[Jen]

take your email down or change it. I don't like the auto response and i can't say I'd like the friend email any better. if it were me I'd reply to what I have and end the incoming tide by not letting that email address out there where it can cause congestion. sounds harsh and rash but hey people wrote to you not to your friend iykwim.

[Anna V]

I think it's fairly common for authors not to reply personally to all fan mail. Perfectly reasonable to have a disclaimer on your blog that you cannot reply in a timely manner to all the email you receive but that your assistant will reply.

However the point that this blog is helping to build the Nurture brand is very valid and employing (and paying) an assistant to reply is a good idea.

[K]

Personally I loved that you just took the time to reply "I saved your e-mail because I thought it was special, but I don't have the time to reply". That's really all I needed to know, that you took the time to quickly read what I had to say. To know that it wasn't just discarded.
I don't think people expect or need a very long e-mail back. They would probably like it, but they don't need it.

As for your friend: I truly think it's very nice of her to offer, however...I wouldn't have wanted someone I didn't "know" reply to an e-mail I sent to you. Maybe you should list a special e-mailadress on your blog where people can ask questions to your friend? At least then they won't expect something coming from you. You can add a note saying you're not able to reply to e-mails, even though you would like to if you had more time.
People really do understand that there are more important things in life. That's why I suppress the urge to keep you updated about my life, even though I still love you, Tertia-dearest ;)

[Stephanie]

I like the auto reply and the phone a friend options-maybe giving them said friend's email in the auto reply? I don't know you- while I may pass along something I *think* you might find interesting, funny, sad, etc., it would be presumptuous of me to expect a reply. However, if you offered a contact for those people who really do need someone to talk to, I think that would be great.
Some people will always have unrealistic exepectations. That's just life. But that doesn't mean you have to fulfill them.

[Scout]

I'm with the person above that said she doesn't necessarily expect a blogger to respond to her e-mails. Personally, I'd feel a bit miffed to be passed off to a friend. I'd prefer to be ignored.

[alison]

Is your friend ready for the deluge?

I'd go with a thoughtful auto-response and a list of resources.

And do this:
"- Rather than just have a link directly to my email address on the main page, when readers click on the "Contact me" link they get this page that explains what my deal is with email: http://tinyurl.com/yf6brjt (Honestly, this has probably been the biggest help.)"

[CariP]

Before I got to the end I was going to suggest you find an assistant to answer your mail...you figured that out already though! I think it is a good solution.

[Sister Mel]

As your darling fave sister who hardly ever gets to talk to you or see you, you definitely don't have time for these mails.
I agree with the auto-responder offering alternate addresses to mail or people to contact. Is it possible to attach a doc of F.A.Q. to the responder? U know I am technically challenged so not sure if this is possible?
Look fwd to seeing you on Friday, lots to do for the party!

[becky]

I think it is crazy to think you would respond to all those personal e-mails! And yet I understand the urge -- when you've been thru IF, you desperately want to help everyone reach the other side.

I'd set up an auto-response with perhaps a great list of resources -- books, doctors, websites -- for them to consult. Perhaps even a support website or two for the main IF conditions (PCOS, etc.). Then you've given them somewhere to start. You obviously aren't a physician so can't give them specific advice. Marko needs more sex for crying out loud! :)

[Amy]

I dont think it matters who the reply is from...many people just want a reply... knowing you care about them and understand them is all they need. You are the best!