Gym Barbie

Not sure if I told you, but a joined the gym two months ago. I am determined to get back in shape and lose the extra 297 kilograms I gained during my pregnancy. I know I will never have the body of an 18 year old again; I just don't want to weigh the equivalent of three medium-sized 18 year olds.

Anyway, my decision to join the gym was met with much derision and ridicule by my friends and family (including, I might say with some dismay, my very own husband. Oh he of little faith and annoyingly high libido).  “You! Going to gym!” they scoffed.  “But you hate gym, bet you won’t go!”  I was quite put out and told them so in no uncertain terms.  “absolute rubbish! Of course I will go, you just wait and see!”

Turns out, they were right. It’s been two months and I have not been once.  I have however been for an assessment (appalling! Embarrassing actually!), plus I have bought a fabulous new pair of trainers.  All I need now are eighties style leg warmers, high cut leotard and a toweling headband and I am ready to hit that gym!  I think that shows that although I might not have yet done any actual exercise, I have shown remarkable commitment so far.  What a winner I am!

Oh, who am I fooling – I suck. The only thing that sucks more than me is gym.  Gym sucks a whole lot.

But I will go, I will not give up.  I will not give up because I have signed a bloody contract for a year and I will be damned if I am going to waste ninety ront a month.

I think my problem is twofold. Actually three fold.  One:  Time. I have zero time. In fact, I have minus time. I have significantly less time than I currently need.  Two:  I have very little enthusiasm, as in zero. As in: I’d have more enthusiasm to repeatedly stab a sharp object into my eye socket.  Three: I have bugger all idea what to do once I get there, and I think that is what is putting me off. What is the point of going and wondering around like a lost fart between those enormous walking / stepping machines.  I think I need to invest in a personal trainer.  Someone who can gently encourage me (ie force me) to stick to a program of some sorts. Because you know, spending an extra R1,000 bucks a month in order not to waste R90 a month makes perfect sense.

What do you guys think?  A personal trainer is a good idea, right?  To show me what to do, work out a program and motivate me to get going.

I have to say I am having slight tinges of regret about those extra 17 donuts and burgers I ate each day of my nine month pregnancy.  It was delicious and all, but bloody hell, it’s damn difficult to get rid of the evidence.

Comments

[Tine]

May I gently suggest that you try to get your money back? Yes, I am serious...and no, I don't mean that you shouldn't exercise.

I hate gyms and machines with the same passion you do. I refuse to spend the money on a membership because I *know* I won't go, despite the money guilt. If there's one thing I hate more than wasting money, it's spending precious time on something I loathe.

Instead, I try to do things I *do* like, even if these activities aren't as effective as lifting weights/doing aerobics/whatever. I'm more likely to actually do these things, which goes a long way toward a happier, healthier me. I walk or ride my bike, toting one or both kids in the stroller/trailer. I swim at the city pool. I hike in the woods when I can (which isn't often, but that's my favorite). I refuse to be miserable while exercising.

Is there some sort of "active" activity you actually like? Do that instead.

[Susan]

Definitely hire a trainer and forget the gym. Some people like the gym, some don't, so you just need to find what works for you. A trainer can come to your house and develop a plan that works for you. And it is motivating to have a trainer, I try harder and want to prove to him that I can meet his challenges. Just do it!

[Kirsten]

Personal trainer - YES! I got one through my gym, saw him once a week for a really good workout and made it back to the gym one other day per week so as not to embarrass myself for the next time I saw him! It gave me the accountability I needed to get there...

[tiah]

I used to love going to the gym, now have children and no time and it would never work. I have annoying, yet lovely, husband who suggests active things to do on weekends (I mean like biking, not sex). I also babywear - figured if the bloody kid helped put it on, they would help work it off. Lastly, exercise videos. I tell the kids it is time to "dance" and they do weird moves and I actually follow. I had more weight to lose than you do, and it did come off before the child's first birthday. But I too would see if you could just get your money back. Go to Mr Price Sport and get yourself home-kitted out.

[beyond]

maybe the gym really isn't for you. try and get your money back, you're not ever going to go if you haven't been in two months. the gym isn't for me either. and personal trainers are too pricey for me. but! i do belly crunches and dumbbell exercises and sun salutations. every morning. at home. alone. its not easy. it takes tons of commitment and determination on my part.

[Meriel]

are there personal trainers who will come to the house, pack your bag and put on your shoes for you, then drive you to the gym and bring you home again afterwards stopping for milk and bread on the way....if so, then sign up one (actually one for you and one for me)

[Kristin]

Does the gym offer sessions with a personal trainer? That would be cheaper than hiring your own.

[Natt]

as a recently single mum of 2 under 4s, there is no way I have time for the gym.

so I bought a wii. and a wii fit. 30 minutes a night about 4 times a week. So far with the diet I have lost 18lb and dropped a dress size and a bit - still got 30lb to go, but hey who's counting?

Seriously go for it - and if you dont end up using it, at least the kids will!!

[ruth]

DEFINITELY get a trainer - find one that you like, respect, and feel either lustful towards or slightly jealous of . . . why you ask . . . so that you have some real incentive to improve. your gym should have a package deal with a set number of sessions on offer.

a trainer will help you work smarter, not harder or longer. they will have routines/programmes that fit YOUR TIME allowance - in three sessions of 40 minutes a week - with a committed trainer - you can make a hell of a difference. if you have not been a gym goer, the mere sight of the machines and shit will make you feel overwhelmed and despondent and of COURSE you won't have a clue about what to do. a good trainer will help you find something you like, or of not actually like, that you feel better after doing. they will also give you tips on what to eat and when, and how to still manage to eat yummy food and lose the blubber. they will also tweak your eating so that you maximise the efforts you are putting in to exercise.

your LIBIDO will increase - dramatically - heaps of research available on that - so M should be driving you to the bleddy gym and doing your work for you!

get in there and sit down with someone and tell them exactly how you are feeling, and ask for HELP! (think fertility issues, and transpose the labour you put into that, and replace the fertility docs with trainers . . .) it is damn hard to do alone.

get them to take a photo of you in your (non-slimming) underwear before you start, and also to take your measurements - then get yourself measured weekly . . . a hell of a way to stay on track - keep that photo in your handbag, along with one of the way you want to look. as well, set yourself a goal weight ( a realistic one - the trainer will help - you are not 17 and able to lose 3 dress sizes in a week so you can wear something slinky to a school prom!) and then put some money aside to do something you want to do/buy/see as a reward (NOT FOOD OR BOOZE).

cut down on BOOZE. it is the number one weight putter-onner for women 40+ . . . make spritzes, drink water from a wine glass, but it is key to weight loss.

you have the membership, you have the gear - so you are almost all the way there. you will do it, and you will do it in style. can't wait to hear/see your progress. you have a HUGE cheer team online, and there will be truckloads of support available when you call on it.

if you want an accountability buddy - let me know - i can e you to keep you on track, which will help me do the same!

[RainbowW]

have lots of sex. marko certainly won't mind, you burn plenty of calories, it's way cheaper, and way way way more fun.

[Katrina]

I hated the gym! Hated it! It smelled funny ALL THE TIME, and I felt quite fat waddling along on the treadmill whilst twiggy teens sprinted for hours beside me.

Instead, I invested in a treadmill for the house. And some exercise videos. This, and the fact that we're buying a house with a swimming pool, has been a lifesaver! It's saving money in the long run, since I quit going to the gym three months into my year-long contract. I can do it without leaving the house, I can wear whatever ratty old clothes I want, and I don't have to watch myself in those horrific mirrors they put EVERYWHERE.

And I can watch old VHS tapes. Bonus!

[Tania]

Tertia, have you tried the classes they have at the gym? It is included in the price of membership, so won't cost more like a personal trainer, & the instructor in the class is there to motivate you, as well as the other participants who, at the gym where I go, are friendly & encouraging. There are lots of different styles of classes, some using weights (but not as intimidating or boring as the machines), others dance style, or yoga & pilates type.
It is choreographed to MUSIC, which for me is absolutely essential in getting into it. It is not the same as listening to an IPOD while doing solitary exercise. Sorry if you have tried them & hated them, but if not, give them a go, you might find some types of classes that are fun.
Personally, I enjoy dance style classes (called Bodyjam where I go), it is the closest thing to actually going out dancing I can get since having kids. The other classes I like are Pump, with light handheld weights, & moves choreographed to music.
You need to find something you enjoy, or you won't go. Good luck, T

[june]

The gym will probably not give you your money back.

A trainer would help you lose weight faster, they love to see their clients get results and can be your drill instructor, cheerleader, diet coach. Its a scheduled appointment at the gym, so you'll probably go.
you might hate the trainer (get a young good looking male trainer, they're much more fun), but you'll love the results.
You could do two months training 3 days a week to get into better shape and develop a routine at the gym, then do that new routine on your own after a couple of months at the gym.
Go on and make time... make this a priority now, because it only gets more difficult.
you'll do great!

[Haitian American Family of Three]

I really like the comment made about about doing something you love to do that could be considered a good workout. (Like laying in bed reading. Or watching the birds from a hammock.) I love to hike and walk around with my kid so I need to do that more...

[Diane Dawson]

Well worth the expense. It was the only time in my life when I've actually seen progress in my exercise (non) routine.

[Adi]

Yes, personal trainer is a good idea (waves finger in the air while other hand guides pizza slice to mouth). When I go to gym (those were the days) I went to the gym classes where you look like a real idiot, but at least all you have to do is mirror what the dude in the front does and you can go home after an hour without having had to think too much. But somehow I don't see you doing that - it's very, uh, retro. So, next best thing is a personal trainer which tells you what to do. And you look kinda sexy and sleek 'cause, you know, you have this greek god towering over you handing you a ball while you do situps, and piling on the weights for you on that machine that have more moving parts than a 40's Ford, etc. This may take care of problem #3. The other ones, sigh, well, if you find the answers to them, let us know please.

[Joey]

A trainer is a good idea.
Wii Fit (with the Sport disc as well) also is a good motivator and fun (as some above said.

A whie back you were going for walks with the kids and dog. You all enjoyed I seem to remember. Would that not work now again?

[Sister gym-barbie Mel]

A-hole. Try the Nia and the Zumba. (Did you read those posts of mine) I will even come with you one day. And definately get a trainer for a few sessions. I also hated going because of lost fart feeling so now I only swim or do the classes.
PS, remember you love endorphins... rushy and fun!

[stay@homemom]

Get a trainer. I have one twice a week and it definitely helps to motivate. Exercise, as you know, is essential for us seritonin depleted people on our anti deps so get your arse into gear and book one. And listen to your sister, NIA is going to change your life.

[Pamela]

Maybe speak to the gym. Most will generally offer one free session with a trainer who will work out a simple program for you and show you how to use the machines and which machines or weights etc will be best for you. They don't want anybody to get injured using their equipment so if you say you are not sure how to use it they will be quite helpful or should be. If they don't offer it then yes, go with a personal trainer. Even if it is not continuous you could get a program and some idea of what you should be doing.

Good Luck! I have had the type of membership where you pay an initial fee and then it is yours as long as long as you go at least 24 times a year. Sounds simple - not. I am now on my 3rd "initial fee".

[Lena]

The problems with gyms are that they have all these gorgeous people with amazing bodies hanging around making me feel even worse about myself...

[Gretchen]

Before you hire a trainer, just ask at the gym if one of the staff can show you around. You'll get a lot of help and you won't be the first one who asked. You might even find something you like!

[Maritza]

A trainer will make you realise that what you were planning to do on your own in the gym would have been a waste of time (unless you've had one before?). Commit to at least 3 months with a trainer idealy 3xweekly (I know, it takes up a lot of time, but any less won't render results).

The last time I saw my trainer was also the last time I saw the gym (3 months ago, sad but true), without that motivation I always find something more important to do.

Good luck gym barbie!

[Summer]

I've belonged to a gym for over a year, and usually manage to get myself there a couple of times a week... and I have NEVER stepped foot into the main part of the gym with the weight and cardio machines. Not once. All I do is go to yoga and Pilates classes.

I highly recommend doing classes. It puts you on a schedule, and (I think) it's more fun to work out in a group. For me, it provides precious Time With Adults. So go with Sister Mel and check out some classes!

[D]

I'd follow up on some of the above and go with getting your money back. Like you, I needed to lose the post-pregnancy pounds. I ended up buying Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred DVD and LOVE IT. I lost 11" so far and with zero diet, just adding 20 minutes of DVD exercise to my routine. Best of all, no one watching, no waiting for a machine and no wandering aimlessly through the gym. Search for Shredheads... there's a lot of them out there!

[Dona]

If you are determined to go to the gym, then a personal trainer is the way to go. I got one for a bit and he pushed me more than I would have pushed myself and being a goal oriented person, I didn't want to show up unprepared for each session so I made sure to hit the gym the other days of the week. Now I'm familiar with the machines, know a few extra tricks and am getting lots of compliments from my hubby.

[Anna]

If you really want to use your gym pass, how about starting with a friend, or with sister Mel? Personally, I hate the gym, I prefer to be outdoors any time. I would try to go for walks, runs or swims without getting locked in a gym. Free of charge, no schedule required. And what mother has time to do it anyway? Ciao.

[Megan]

Just go on a really random day when other ppl won't go so you can test things w/o feeling dumb. I went to my gym @ my uni on like Thanksgiving Day for the first time so that I could mess around and not have ppl staring at me.

[Joy]

I second the recommendation of the 30 day Shred. I do it every evening and it has really toned me up. I picked up the DVD for less than $10 and I think some of the routines are on YouTube for free.

[melissa]

research or google a workout plan that works for you. Im sure you get examples of how many reps on what machine to target certain areas. That way you know what you are doing and have a plan for when you do go. Its cheaper that way. If thats not a good idea than definately see if you can get a one time trainer to give you ideas. Good Luck and the babies are adorable by the way.

[victoria]

I am not a fan of exercise when it comes to weight loss. I hired a personal trainer, who kicked my butt 3x/week for three months, only to watch the scale go UP slowly. I fired the PT and promptly LOST 27 pounds.

IMHO, weight LOSS requires abstaining from food, which is possible for many of us if we're not exercising. Weight MAINTENACE, however, is helped by regular exercise, in my experience.

So, yeah, don't go to the gym if you don't want to, and just don't eat much.

[Yvonne]

Try Zumba if your gym offers it - it's a FUNFUNFUN aerobic workout class - you'll be addicted in no time!

[heleen]

When I had time and I lived close to a gym I loved going. The first 2 or 3 times only a trainer showed me around and explained all the machines. He marked on a sheet how many repeats I was going to do with how much weight. The general idea is that you burn fat when you do a lot of repeats with low weight. If you do only a few repeats with heavy weight you can build muscle. You always start with low weight to warm up your muscles and you increase weight while you go.
I started with that routine and gradually increased weight or time spent on a certain muscle group once it got easier. In the end I got very addicted to the serotonine, so not only I looked in great shape, my mood was also really good. Even increased libido! You should give it a go! Everybody including yourself will love you for it. I would definitely go again if I didn't live in the middle of nowhere.

[Billie Jo]

A Word To The Wise 4 All Moms!
I have listened to doctors, teachers, counselors as well as social workers dish out advice about our children and some of it is well taken, but all must be critically perused and evaluated by us, were the mommies! Who could possible know our children better than we do?
Some children have adverse reactions to sugar and some do not, however experts would like to paint all children with the same broad brush. Teenagers having problems in school is a good example. The first direction the experts seem to like to pursue is Attention Deficit. However a wise individual would first pursue the basics such as: Are their marital problems in the home or some type of alcohol or drug abuse? Is the child fighting thru Identity issues such as sexuality? These are just a few of the possibilities that could be causing children problems and us Mommies and Daddy’s need to make sure everything is being addressed before we push it off on a medical condition. I’m not saying we don’t look at everything; however it seems we live in a society that loves to turn directly to medication to solve a problem! Just watch the evening news and I’m sure you will see what I mean. The drug companies are now pursuing us directly to get us to ask our doctors for their drugs! The government likes to preach “Just Say No to Drugs”, and then they pitch them at every opportunity!
My 16 year old was being tortured by mean girls via email and was heartbroken. She was having some acne issues as we all did but they were extremely mean to her in nature. It was not easy but I found a site that carries Cyber Bully Alerts warning the children to STOP sending these emails as they are being watched and logged and will be prosecuted. We all know what this kind of meanness can lead to with teen suicides and all. I found the cards at www.hatecards.net and they did the trick! The torture stopped for Sarah and that was good enough for me. We need to find ways to overcome and adapt to protect our kids.
We can care for runny noses and chapped bottoms, but we must look out for our babies through high school and educate them to think for themselves until they learn too!
Billie
At Home Mom in MN

[Emily]

I used to do the same thing--join a gym and never go. But now--I joined a gym in March--hired a personal trainer (a very young, very hot one)..who I work out with twice a week. Definitely makes me want to go--after all, I get 45 minutes of personalized attention from a very hot guy... And he makes me work harder than I would ever make myself work at the gym. Now, I get to the gym on those 2 days plus 2 more days--YEP 4 DAYS A WEEK!! Amazing for me...but once I really got started, I started liking the way workouts made me feel, and am pretty motivated on my own--still have the trainer though--just to be sure I stay that way.

[mouthymama]

I was just blog hopping and came across yours! I was interested because my niece was born via IVF last February-WHOOOOHOOOO! Thanks for sharing your story for people like my brother and sister-in-law. Infertility can be a very lonely place.

Okay, on to this gym thing...I say screw it! If you hate the gym, it's not likely you'll stick with it. I know I am not the most avid treadmill runner anymore. Here's my advice, take it or leave it (from one stranger to another) find something fun to exercise like learning Zumba, a dance class, walking, or using those toddlers for weights--that's what I do with my twins! They are only two at this point though!

Love the blog. Love the style. Keep writing. Your mom is right. It would be disappointing to come back without another new post!
www.mouthymama.com

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[jen w]

i'd get your money back, or end your contract. if it doesn't excite you and you have no desire to doo, you won't. I like the classes at the gym. no extra money, and they tell you what to do. I can't motivate myself on a maching. I Like kickboxing and the weight classes. work hard for 1 hr and be done.