Third Child Syndrome

Poor Max, he is clearly suffering from Third Child Syndrome.  Well, a mixture between second child and third child syndrome.  Maybe not as bad as third child (I still sterilize his bottles ;-))  However, no fancy outfits, no birth announcements, FAR fewer photos of the little chap, all sorts of hand-me-downs and used goods – poor little Max is certainly having a far more ‘relaxed’ time than his siblings did, which I suppose is a good thing. No tiptoeing around for nap time, no paranoia about stuff.  The poor little chap just has to fit in, and fit in he is.

We are slowly starting to find our groove.  Max is already a fast learner and has discovered that being up in someone’s arms is far more pleasant than lying in his pram / cot.  Luckily for him, the number of willing arms outnumbered the number of needy babies this time (one baby SOOOOOO much easier than two!)

Besides that, not much to report. Very boring, I know. I keep starting blog posts and not finishing them.  Not because I am hectically busy with Max (have I mentioned how much easier one baby is than two?), but because between Max and Nurture, I don’t have much time for anything else.

I am also spending quite a lot of time with the twins, which is nice.  Actually more than I did before, perhaps because I am so aware of making sure their needs are met too.  Every afternoon we do something together, the three of us.  Yesterday the three of us went for muffins and coffee.  Very civilized. 

(Today is far less civilized. I am at an indoor kids venue (revolting places, hate them) and I am stuck in a nightmare of dressed-up-to-the-nines pretty mommies and their screaming, seething offspring.  Drinking bad coffee.  At least I have my laptop with me, small consolation.)

Why are some mothers so oblivious of their children’s appalling behavior?  Do you they don’t notice, or do they just not care?  Some revolting little bugger has been throwing the little plastic balls wildly in the air, twice landing on my laptop.  Mother oblivious. Never mind that the poor staff has to run around picking up after her little darling.  Grrr.

And that’s it really.  I’ve recovered well, my cut feels completely healed.  Besides being tired (par for the course at this stage), I really am well, as is my lovely family.  It’s all good.

(As soon as I manage to take photos of the new kid plus the two old ones, I will put some up. Bad mother, v bad)

Comments

[Kristin]

Those blindly oblivious moms drive me apeshit crazy.

[BiancaW]

"I really am well, as is my lovely family. It’s all good."

Uh! YEY!! C

Can your 5 year ago you, believe right now you?! Sitting at a play park with your 4 and a half year old twins, with a new born at home!? It must be flipping amazing. :-)

[victoria]

"Why are some mothers so oblivious of their children’s appalling behavior?" Oh, honey. Wasn't it just a few short years ago that your kids were telling their cousin that she couldn't watch the t.v. at their house, or play on the swingset in their backyard, because it was their swingset and their t.v. and not hers? And you did nothing to correct your children's behavior, while your sister tried to console her daughter by saying, "they are just being ugly, don't mind them" ?

How long ago was it that Adam would have a tantrum if another child started to play with playground equipment that Adam had just finished playing with, and you chalked it up to his S.I.D. issues?

You KNOW why some mums are oblivious to their children's appalling behavior: their little snuggle bunny is so precious adorable flawless and perfect in every way that s/he is INCAPABLE of engaging in appalling behavior.

[LondonMisfit]

Just make sure you DO take the photos of Max - my sister (the last of three) still gets extremely pissed off that while my brother and I had every move documented in countless photos, the only ones of her are if she's in a kid group shot with us older ones. And she's 35 now.

[Scout]

"Why are some mothers so oblivious of their children’s appalling behavior? Do you they don’t notice, or do they just not care? Some revolting little bugger has been throwing the little plastic balls wildly in the air, twice landing on my laptop. Mother oblivious. Never mind that the poor staff has to run around picking up after her little darling. Grrr."
I totally disagree with the person above. I haven't hosted a playgroup at my house after three 4 year olds were totally out of control last year. Their mothers were sitting in my garden just chatting away while they wreaked havoc. And then there's the kid that stuck a stick in my daughter's face on the playground, the kid throwing sand on everyone, etc. I don't expect a parent to step in for every little thing, but some level of supervision is expected. And my limit is when someone else is unreasonably bothered or hurt. Kids scream, kids throw, kids cry, are dirty, but balls should stay in the play place and sticks don't go in faces, etc., etc. Totally different that a kid throwing a tantrum and MOM dealing with it.

[Amy]

Some parents think their children are SO precious/adorable/gorgeous that they think we all think so. And we don't if they are being little buggers. Take for example the parents who let their 'adorable' daughter stand up in her airplane seat and smile/make stupid faces/stare at us for the 8.5 hour flight from Germany to Toronto Ontario. Charming. NOT!!

[Amy]

I do agree with the sentiment of TAKE pictures! I come from a family of 6 kids and you cannot imagine how the pictures tapered off through the years! Understandably so of course but get a few cameras ready around the house and snap! snap! You will never regret it :)

[ruth]

what a luxury that max is enjoying such an 'ordinary' start to life. the way it should be. it is so lovely that your last baby has come into the world peacefully and quietly, no fanfares or drama, no grief or loss or major fears present, and that you can enjoy him in such a low key way. i am so happy for you. it is also delightful that your mum has such a peaceful baby during this really traumatic time of her life. babies like that are little healers.

re the revolting kids: just tell the little fuckers to back off when they are being aggressive at the play place. and the mums if they rip up at you, saying that you don't like being hit, or things being thrown at you or whatever - quietly and non-aggressively of course, but man, if someone doesn't tell them they will never know. already at 21 months amelia has had to be 'trained' (a work in progress) not to push other kids off 'her' swings at the local park . . . or to hit any kid touching other parts of play equipment she believes is hers. or to whop me and her dad in the face if we say no to her about anything!!! i welcome other mothers/caregivers telling her no - she cries, and comes to me for comfort, and i back them up while mouthing a huge thank you to the person involved. she is so strong that i NEED the support of someone else added to my training efforts. its a community effort to raise kids, so get out there and do your doody (as the americans so quaintly say).

[shriek house]

At least those mums are probably horrified & embarrassed reading your blog, and will be more on top of their kids next time!

[Amy]

Shriek I can only hope! My days of small kid disturbances on the playground/school turf are long over thankfully. Now I have a 16 year old in HS and two 11 year olds soon to enter middle school. Blessedly they all have very good manners and know what is right/wrong.

No idea where they get this as their mother (me) was a complete hellion growing up and especially during the teen years.

Takes one to know one and all that.. My kids are wonderful and closely supervised to prevent!

[angel]

Aw poor baby! So what happens if we demand pictures?

[Jennab]

I am a 3rd child and I have limited baby photos. My older sisters both have lovely albums, in fact the oldest has 2. I have an album with about 3 pages and the rest filled with lose photos.....
I'm still loved the same, but suppose I was not as much as a novelty :)

[Heather]

Yes, one baby is much easier than two!!! Unfortunately for us, we did the singleton baby first and the twins second. But we're so happy to have them and the work that comes with them!!! I need to find time to post pics of our two little ones too, but between taking care of our 8 year old, running the house and running to the hospital to take care of the twins, I'm lucky I'm caught up on emails.

[Ashley]

I was sorting through my pictures the other day looking for pictures of my third child and there just aren't many. He is the easiest, nicest and least demanding- those 3rd kids are a charm! I'm so thrilled for you!

[Michele Hriciso]

Methinks your pretty mommies spent too much time breathing fumes at the nail salon to care about keeping on the kids.

[terri c]

Well, and then you have the parent who remembers childhood as an awful time filled with nasty rules and punishments and determines to spare her/his kiddos such suffering. These parents feel that they are really helping the child, and, after all, why does the play place even HAVE staff if not to pick up after the children???