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Even if the neighbors would have to do some serious acrobats in able to see B naked, if it bothers A THAT MUCH, just close the damn curtains. Is it really worth the argument?

I tend to side with Partner A. But I am a self-proclaimed prude. =)

In the immortal words of my grandmother (may she rest in peace):

"If they haven't already seen it, they won't know what it is, and if they have, no harm done."

A needs to be the one closing the curtains if s/he's that worried about B's nekkididity. Or put in frosted glass. Or what have you.

Partner B should respect the wishes of partner A.

I'd side with partner B. A can close the curtains if s/he cares that much, but it's really not a big deal to be naked in one's own home.

Who cares; give the toms a wave A and B

I have no interest in being espied in the buff by my neighbors. Would it be so hard for Partner B to steer clear of the windows or draw the curtains?

If it bothers A, B should cose the curtians.

even though i have a highly public job, when it comes to being naked, i like to not be on display. my partner doesn't care and walks around naked past doors which are open and through which he is visible to all and sundry who might be passing by and definitely to the neighbors across the street. you know what, his choice!
yet, at the same time, i'm getting old enough where, before, if i were partner b, i'd have stuck to my guns and said, it's my body, you don't have a say. now, i'd probably just close the curtains to avoid the argument.

I don't think that being someone's partner gives you (generic you) the right to control what they do with their body. I strongly object to that part of the argument.

That said, it may be a pick your battle kind of issue. If it is a BIG DEAL, partner B may wish to simply avoid the issue. If it is NOT a big deal, but rather just annoying and irksome, partner A should just get over it.

Personally, I reserve the right to be naked in my home. Whereas my partner feels the need to close the blinds and windows if we watch a movie with a sex scene in it. (We live in an apartment complex, so its somewhat close quarters - our neighbors could probably hear and see the movie). Luckily he doesn't bug me about my choices.

Partner B can do what they want in this regard, as far as I'm concerned. If partner B was stripping off in public then partner A can have an opinion but only because it reflects on partner A's public image.

But partner A declaring who is ALLOWED to see partner B's body? No. Partner B has full rights to decide what they want to do with their body, and that includes who is allowed to see it.

I say partner A shouldn't worry so much

I am constantly naked in my room and I often think that poor Uncle Rudy (my 80 plus neighbour) is probably having a good old look standing on his tip toes in the spare room while Auntie Cherry has her 74th cigarette of the day in the garden. I do however draw the line when partner A wants to do the deed and doesn't think closing the curtains is important. I just couldn't be arsed to close the curtains - he is probably just getting a silhouette which is a damn sight better than the real thing.

I am with partner B. B is only naked within his/her home, and I don't think A has any right to prescribe when B should or should not be clothed.

I AM partner B! In fact, we're two B's, so there is no problem... I think Partner A needs to realize that Partner B wouldn't be doing this if he/she thought that the neighbors were actually looking, or on the front lawn.

Partner A has the right to ask and Partner B has the right to do what s/he wishes, but mostly marriage/partnerships is not about rights. So unless giving in to Partner A's wishes would compromise Partner B's morality, just close the darn curtains. Easy solution, no?


I love this post, Tertia. I am soooo partner B but here's the thing.

People really have to (as you say) stand on their toes, squint and really look at the right time if they're going to see anything and it bugs him, so I tell Partner A to close and open the curtains. As stay at home mom said above, I just couldn't be arsed to close the curtains"


If it bothers A greatly then I don't see why B wouldn't go with it

eh. i think in this case, the key is that it would be very difficult for the neighbors to see anything. if it were as simple as the neighbors could just happen to stand there and look over and catch a show, i would totally side with A. but if it's really that difficult to see anything through the windows, then it's probably not worth the argument, and I can see B's apathy. but A can always close the curtains.

I think I've had this conversation with my husband. I tend to do all my morning routines in bra-panty combo, windows or no windows, because if I do get dressed before my son has done everything he needs to do in order to be presentable for daycare, chances are my attire will be stained with boogers and food remnants. Conclusion: I continue doing what I do when my husband is not around or is still fast asleep but do try to pay attention when he isn't. He has found this an acceptable solution. Although I must say also that in this case I'm a believer of "if he doesn't know it exists, it can't hurt it".

B I am! And I'm no different from any other B in this world, I only have two eyes, two ears, two, well, you know, breast area equipment, and so on. My A is a typical A. Like, every neighbour is going to want me if they see me. But, beside the fact that I find this idea sweet and ridiculous, I tend not to annoy A. And we don't have curtains yet, so I have a robe at hand at all times. Nice debate....

I'm not going to remember to close the curtains and/or to hide in my own damn bedroom everytime I get undressed/dressed.

Both Partners can dress/undress where they like without input from the other.

Well, I used to be married to a Partner A, and am a Partner B at heart. I say Partner A worries excessively and that if Partner B isn't worried, Partner A should leave it alone. I also worry about what it says about Partner A that they're so VERY possessive of Partner B's body, but perhaps that's me reading into the situation (I have since divorced Partner A for being a wackaloon).

I think partners need to respect one another's comfort. In this case, Partner A is uncomfortable. For Partner B to respect that and close the curtains wouldn't do any harm to Partner B (since B's not going out of their way to be seen naked and essentially doesn't see the big deal), but it would show that B cares about A's comfort.

Why make A uncomfortable? The refusal to close the curtains seems to accomplish nothing except making it clear to A that B doesn't respect A's feelings.

(Note: this answer would be different if both people actively wanted different things, say A wanted to buy a house and B didn't think they could afford it. But since B basically doesn't care in this case, B should be nice.)

What you do at your own home shouldn't matter. But all the nagging from Partner A probably will drive me crazy, and end up closing the curtains when he/she is around.

My neighbours deserve a laugh, so I'm nekkid all the way.

In our home whoever cares the most about something "wins." For just about everything. That's just how we make our decisions. So based on the way I read the lead up to the question, in this case Partner A would "win."

Me being partner B, the nagging would eventually drive me crazy so I would try to remember to close the blinds...or tell him to close them himself if it bothers him that much! Then, we he wasn't home, I'd do what I want anyway:)

I would tend to agree with Partner B- no big deal. Except one time my husband was dropping off something for my best friend. He rang the doorbell and she was in the shower upstairs. She didn't have a towel in the bathroom so she quickly ran from the bathroom to her bedroom about 5 feet away. My husband saw her totally naked through the stained glass window at the top of the front door. He wasn't trying to see her and he looked away right away, but he was really embarrassed for a while. I didn't care and my friend thought it was funny and a little embarrassing, but whenever we joke about it my husband gets really mad.

I guess if it is a picture window and not so hard for people to see into, then close the curtains. If it would take some serious trying for them to see, then you don't need to make as much of an effort to cover up. But, if there were a way for a sicko to spy on my kids as they were dressing, I would have layers of shades over every window.

I'm a typical B, and live with my dearest A. He's always nagging about the curtains, when I'm leaving the shower on my way to my underwear drawer. It usually ends up with either me hopping around in my towel, very very annoyed. Or him shutting the curtains. Important sidenote: we live in a small studio in the middle of the city with windows on all four sides :-)

In your particular example: the neighbours can't even *see* anything? Is partner A worried about those new see-through machines at international airports? He/she should be!

PS In some countries not wearing shoes is unaccepted behaviour. :-)

Partner A is getting too wound up about this, but since s/he cares and it doesn't require any real sacrifice, Partner B should just sigh and close the shades (or tell A to do it since s/he is the one that really cares).

The one exception I would make is for a relationship where A has shown many signs of being controlling of B. Then I would not indulge A, but then again, there would be many other issues to worry about.

I am guessing that in 90% of hetero scenarios, A is the man!

I walked out of the shower past the bedroom window, the neighbour was on the roof of his house, don't know who was more shocked but I basically had hit the floor and leopard crawl back to the bathroom. Lets just say we could never look each other in the eye again haha. So I dont think its such a big deal.

Totally agree with comment "Both Partners can dress/undress where they like without input from the other. " Of course, I'm totally a B. My A husband closes the blinds if/when it bothers him.

I think Partner A needs to take a chill pill. I'm of the "anyone that is trying *that* hard to see my nekkid body should be pitied rather than scorned" camp. Now, if it's my kids, it's a different matter. But grown adults? Not so much ...

I side with Partner B.

I'd side with A, although A could just close the curtains and then both could be nekkid :)

The issue is not your big naked butt, it is that something bothers Susan but doesn't bother you. if it doesn't bother you but clearly does SS, then close the curtains!

Meh. If they want to see my flabby, c-section scarred, fifty-ish body, then let them. If the sight terrifies, then they won't try to catch a peek again.

I'd purposely show more than my partner liked, because I'm just snarky that way. If they don't like it, let them close the drapes. With that many little ones in the house, opening and closing the drapes takes away valuable time.

Hmm, well, I think partner B gets to decide whom to be naked in front of. But I think it depends how well you want to know your neighbors. If partner A intends to get out there and get to know them, I'd probably be more inclined to say partner B should shut the curtains to respect partner A's feelings around the other people. If the neighbors are just faces you occasionally wave to but have no real relationship with, I don't think it should matter and parnter B can do what s/he damn well places with his/her body.

I have the same fight with my boyfriend b/c he always freaks out if I change or walk around not fully clothed around any windows - even ones that face only an alley with little shuttered windows. I think it's partner b's body and partner A doesn't own it just because they are together.

Maybe it's a product of my paranoia, but I'd be nervous of either attracting perverts or having somebody else complain that we're exposing their kids to sinful shameful nekkidness. So I'd advocate for closing the curtains just on the basis of our safety!

That said, I think the argument "A has the right to control who sees B's body" would get even my modest, clothed back right up. It sounds controlling. Appealing to B's better nature ("think of our family's safety/security") might work better.

***Disclaimer -- the word "you" is used generically in this context, not intended to indicate any particular person***

I say pick your battles and close the curtains. Closing curtains is easy enough to do, doesn't hurt anybody, and saves a battle for something more important. (Unless, of course, this IS the most important thing you argue about then go at it.)

as long as A doesn't have to show themselves nekkid, i'd say let B do whatever they want to. i'm like B, my neighbors have seem me (I suspect/think) nekkid coming out or the shower or going into it. after 8 years in this apartment even my husband who is more the A type, has shown it's good bits a couple of times. in the end who cares? we all are the same nekkid in a way, right? or does B have something super-extra-out-of-the ordinary? Are you A?

I think B should be allowed to be nekkid at home - be comfortable, be happy! and A should close the curtains if they are really that worried about it- but they should not try to control whether B leaves curtains open or closed -as long as it really that difficult to see in. Great debate! (I am a B for sure)

okay, really it is simple, if Partner A really wants to keep Partner B to his/herself, as far as nekidness goes, it's a simple gift. Loving each other means making small concessions, this isn't even really giving anything up, just agreeing to close the curtains/be more aware. Save the argument for when Partner A really insists Partner B give up something big that is not fair, this isn't even worth more than a simple "sure honey, if it makes you happy"

I think that A should pay to have one way glass installed in the windows of the rooms where B undresses if it bothers A that much. Problem solved.

Ha ha this is funny because I am totally partner B in this situation. We live on the first floor and if someone happened to be right outside our balcony they could totally see me run from the bathroom to the bedroom. And they might even be able to see through our gauzy bedroom curtains. I just don't care. Big deal, we all have a body, why can't I be comfortable in my own home for the three minutes it takes to go from the shower to being dressed? My fiance has expressed minimal concern about this, but even if he did put up a big fight, I don't think I would change my ways. I just really don't see it as a big deal (and I swear I'm not at all an exhibitionist, I just feel like brief nekkidness is not a problem).

I'd say put sheer's on the window in question (ones that don't need moving) and no one has to close any curtins and partner B can do all they want...if its that hard to see anyway, sheer curtains will make it perfect....but I do love what the one poster said her grandmother said....

LOL, I am totally a Partner B...so do not care...if they go to all that trouble to have a look, then by all means, look. If it bothers Partner A so much, they should close the damned curtains/blinds/shutters whatever.

I think A sounds like a bit of a prude but possibly an old fashioned and loyal type too. It sounds like one of the probably many anal things about this person and hence their personality. I can't imagine they would be able to ever feel comfortable or carefree about it as B does unless they underwent years of therapy. If A gives B a lot of freedom to be themselves in other areas then I would be tempted to respect their feelings on this one. But if A was a controlling type and often trying to control the behaviour of B then if I were B I might say 'tough'.

This is a non-issue. If Partner B doesn't care, Partner A certainly shouldn't.

I agree with some of the others. In this day and age is it really worth fighting over. To make you more comfortable, just do it yourself. Males really don't care who see them naked. It seems he feels just fine with himself as he is, which is a good thing. I'm not trying to make it into a little thing because if it upsets you, then it's not little. Just help him out and close the windows.

My hubby and I are both Partner B - if the neighbors want to watch, let them make popcorn and charge admission for all we care (but if they do charge admission, we want a cut...). Personally Partner A should just get over it, no harm is being done, it's not as if Partner B is making Partner A get undressed in front of the window, and yes, it is Partner B's body and Partner B's say about said body.

Like somebody said above, if it bothers Partner A that much then Partner A should just put in frosted glass or something. Or leave the room, or ignore it and pretend it's not happening.

Just my $.02...

I'm partner B, and I stand by my "if they look in our windows, they deserve what they see" motto.

I proposed your question to my husband, Partner A. He clarified that he doesn't care what I do in the house so much as "parading around the neighborhood". When I pointed out the fact that I have not, in fact, paraded around the neighborhood NAKED, he said "But you're thinking about it."

There was no point to that, really.

I agree with everyone who say to keep the peace, Partner B should just close the curtains. It may not be right, but if B doesn't really care, it's a simple thing to do to keep the peace!

i feel it is important not to compromise your own integrity in order to "keep the peace" - the sovereignty of our own bodies is very important (not just whose turn is it to do the dishes) and for longterm respect and trust in the relationship it would be good if partner A could respect that boundary - then from that position of respect partner B might feel better about choosing to close the curtains for partner A (motivated by feelings of love, not by feeling controlled).

I don't know what to tell you because I tend to dress in front of the window too. I do it without thinking. All I'd like to add is that Elowyn's immortal grandmother sounds like she was a way cool person. I got a kick out of that comment. Nevermind me, I am going to click on your ads so you can get revenue. LOL

oh how funny! We have the same debate. So when A is around, I (I mean, B), close the curtains. Otherwise, B does as B pleases.


I think if the neighbors are going to go through all that effort for a peek, they should be...... rewarded........?

BUT. Out of respect for my partner ( as I would obviously be the nudist in the situation) I'd close the curtains.

if it is really that big a deal, a should close the curtains themselves . . . but, i wonder if is this more an issue of content versus relationship, in that it is not really about the nekkidness, but more an issue of a wanting to have control over b and is thus focusing on this issue (as one issue of a potential million or so)? if so, it's never going to be resolved regardless of the outcome. probably need to sort the control issues out instead of arguing about little things like this that mask the real issue.

we have a window that reveals all our glory to the world if our neighbours choose to look. we just dress quickly and without a light on, and god help them if they happen to look up at the wrong time!

I'm so relieved to live in a household with two partner B's.

I am so totally like partner B. Luckily, my hubby doesn't let it bother him.

In terms of rights, I think that partner B is perfectly within his or hers to do whatever he or she wants (what awkward grammar--egads!). However, as a couple, I think that each partner could try a little harder to respect the other's feelings. Partner B could put in a little more effort not to play naked twister right in front of the window, and Partner A could also let it go if partner B does forget to close the drapes when doing the naked mambo one day.

P.S. As if there's anyone in the world who doesn't know which partner you are!

I think if Marko wants to be naked in front of the windows, I wish I lived across the street. (Don't worry, I don't.)

If I were B I would respect the wishes of Partner A. It's a simple request, really, and not worth upsetting the concerned party over. And I would do it all the time, not just when A was watching. It is a matter of respect and trust.

I am partner B. My husband is partner A..he constantly says something about me getting dressed/undressed in front of the windows..FYI--I haven't stopped. I say Partner A has no say--Partner B--do what you will.

is there a chance I could see Marko naked? that's all I wanna know. :)

If A is truly bothered A can close the blinds. I'm a "B" person so I don't see the issue. If they have to go through that much trouble then let them look.

Either way A and B should just enjoy the view of each other and not worry about the neighbors. (Once the recommended time has passed, checked out by doc...)

I would just close the curtains. Sometimes it's more loving just to honor the other partner even if you know s/he is being dumb about an issue. I would just give the weaker partner some grace.

Is partner A an uptight American with a puritanical heritage, because it sounds that way. ;)

If it bothers "A" that much, then "A" should be the one opening and closing the curtains because it is their hang-up, but first, maybe "A" should go outside at a couple of different times during the day/evening to see how much can really be seen, because maybe it is a worry over nothing.

Is "B" using this as a battle point, when really there are bigger things to worry about, though? Or, maybe conciliatory actions on this point would allow for gains in things that are important to "B" in the home.

It is nice that kids have both A's & B's in their lives so that neither are they too care free, or too wound up. :)

(Also, why no poll?)

I'm of the opinion that grown-ups should be completely in charge of their own clothing, including how much of it they want to wear. Being in charge of my own levels of dressed-ness is enough trouble. So my stance is that if A wants the curtains closed, then A should go ahead and close them, while B should avoid throwing them back open or going out for the mail whilst in the altogether.

I'm Girlfriend B and Boyfriend A often reminds me to shut the curtains/blinds. I'm not a total nudist, but I think that if the neighbors have been staring through the gap between the blinds all morning in the hopes that I'll run topless towards the laundry room to get a shirt, well, enjoy the view!

I'm a big fan of window coverings with the "top down" or "bottom up" option.


If we're dressing and still want to see the sky and daylight, we set them with the top down.
I worry more about people seeing in than my husband does but he seems to go along with whatever makes me feel comfortable.

I am partner B pretty much every morning.

"Are you wearing pants? I'm going to open the blinds now," bellows Sam. "Meh, whatever, I'm coming down," I mutter, sashaying through the house in a bra.

If Partner A could make a compelling argument that Partner B's lackadaisical attitude about nudity was causing them true social distress (you live next to your boss, your tits/ween keep popping out at charity dinners, you keep forgetting to wear underpants and [much like Paris and Britney] haven't figured out the ladylike way to get out of a car), sure, fine, but otherwise Partner A needs to get over him/herself.

It's a partnership, not an ownership. One doesn't own a spouse's body, and although one certainly DOES have a justified interest in who touches said body or views it in an intimate setting, a stranger catching a flash of nibblies through an open curtain does not constitute intimacy.

Wedding vows don't cover this stuff for a reason, Partner A. Either slap some stick-on modesty panels on the windows or just let it go.

Partner A definitely has the right to give his/her opinion on the matter and Partner B should respect that regardless if he/she agrees or not.

laf at the nekkid one!!

A: stop being a prude. Join B and give the neighbors something to talk about!

My feeling is - you're in your home, doing what comes naturally - if the neighbours take the time to peep through your windows then let them enjoy the view! I like what Pops said! :)

I have no idea who is who in YOUR relationship, but I am Partner B, and my Partner A drives me mental. If the neighbors want to see me naked (2 pregnancies, 2 breastfed babes and still a GOOD few kilo's overweight) then they can go right ahead! Partner A always shits on me for not closing the blind, but I swear, our neighbors (like yours) would need a periscopic, telegraphic lens to see into our room! Drives me nuts!!

I reckon this is one of those "concede a point for the sake of marital harmony" moments. It's really no big deal to close the curtains, so if I was partner B, and partner A really felt *that* strongly about it, I would go along with him/her. Maybe with the tiniest roll of the eyes :-)

Partner B, try to ease the fears of Partner A. Partner A, try to explain why this is such a big deal to you.

And? Are you ever going to tell us who is who?

I say: curtains.
Looks warmer and cosier anyway.

A - Nobody wants to see a naked 40 yr old

B - Even if Marko was naked, and you were in the room, you would still need a magnifying glass, so the chances of them seeing anything are quite slim.

Leave the curtains, if the neighbors looked once, they would never look again.

Partner B all the way.
I'm sure plenty of people have and well see A, nude or partially nude at some point.
But I don't think it would be that common for others to take a peak in and catch a look.

Partner A is the partner, and not owner, of Partner B. It's Parnter B's body. It's not illegal, it's not hurting anyone or anything.

Now, if partner B decided to do drugs and run the family into the financial pits, that's different. But it does not actually direction affect partner A, other than the neighbors knowing what partner B's bits look like. If Partner B is proud of their body, so should be partner A.

I side with Partner B - its your house you should be able to do whatever you want to!

I have a bad habit of *being* partner B. But, as a married person I say if it bothers A that much, taht B should listen to A.

Partner B. All the way. Who cares of the neighbors can see you. If Partner B doesn't care, then Partner A shouldn't care either.

Haven't read all the comments--but have the couple thought about getting reflective window coating that makes it impossible for anyone to see in, but also lets everyone see out?

It also prevents UV rays getting in and lowers heating/cooling costs...Gila is one maufacturer, but just google privacy window film to get more.

I am a firm believer btw, that the biggest reason for disagreements with spouses is infrastructure. ie. the stuff around you, not you.

Another Partner B here. :)

I say that Partner A should lighten up and Partner B should close the curtains.

But that being said, it is the opinion of law enforcement that 'a person has the right to be naked in his/her own home.'

Yeah...ask me how I know this.

If it is so upsetting to A, I can't really see why B doesn't just do it? It's pulling a curtain, takes seconds. I think whoever A is they need to just suck it up and do something because it's bothering their partner.

My husband calls me a "free range chicken" because I care not about the nudity. Thankfully it doesn't bother him, or we would have to deal with this. Uhhh, I guess that means I don't have any advice. Good luck.

In this situation I am definitely partner B and my husband is partner A. The way it works in our house is he is responsible for the blinds. Everyone is happy that way!

Do you want to die on that cross? I simple say let it go and Partner B should close the curtains. It just probably isn't worth it.

I am Partner B in this situation. I was raised in a home where everyone ran around in next to nothing until you had to leave the house. And I've gotten much more so who really cares after having a child. My husband is Partner A. His family is always fully dressed before starting the day.

That being said, it sounds as though Partner B in this situation is being much more modest than I would be at any rate. I side with Partner B as it seems highly unlikely anyone could really see anything anyway.

In my opinion Partner B should repsect that fact that it bothers Partner A and comply with being careful about nekkidness...

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