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what about rose ? I take it she is not a live in nanny, but is it possible for her to stay with you at least during those first few very very sleepless weeks ?

Rose does live with us, and I am sure she will volunteer to help out, but I don't want to burden her - she has a day job! But she has already warned me that she WILL be helping me out at night once or twice. I just dont want to exhaust her too. One exhausted care giver is enough ;-)

Great idea to let Marko chip in and help. Makes the DH's appreciate what the DW's have to go through.... My hubs and I took it in turns (luckily I didn't breast feed either)so even though it was exhausting, we at least had a good sleep every alternative night.

Yip, know the feeling! Was up at 1am and 4am this morning for a dummy call- and who is sleeping now? Clearly it's not me! BUT just like you, I wouldn't change it for the WORLD!!

I hear your pain. Last night I woke up and got out of bed FOUR times. I mean really. Bryce is FOUR and Hannah is 18 months. They should be SLEEPING. THROUGH. THE. NIGHT!!!

Good luck for the first few months. I would also be sh*tting myself.

XXX

Just remember this time its only one -so you should be better off then last time!He will probably be an angel. About the privacy issue,I wouldnt worry at all-this is SA not the States where stalking is rife(no offence)and besides we all on Facebook,one can get all they need from there!

Oh yes, the joys!

if you were having twins again, i'd tell you to shoot yourself or marko or both. but singletons are way easier to deal with than twins. you'll be surprised at how much better it is.

think of it this way: you could be like my friend jennifer, who had a singleton and then in the next pregnancy had naturally-occurring identical TRIPLETS.

and if you want to see pictures that will make you feel SO MUCH BETTER, lmk privately and i'll give you the name to look up on facebook.

AH yes don't forget just when you think you are finally getting some sleep in a few short years you will then be suffering the sleep deprivation of the teenage Mum.

The nights when there is no way you can sleep until they come home, the sheer terror that you live through in the 5 minutes that they are late gives you enough adrenalin to keep you awake for the rest of the night.

It never ends, you never sleep again.

I have a hard time understanding why all this parenting inconvenience always falls on the mother, and not equally on both partners. Do women perpetuate this themselves, ie, not wanting to give up the role as primary caregiver? I find it extremely unfair. Why shouldn't Marko be splitting all of this parenting responsibility 50/50? Why do husbands have to be asked to "help"? They shouldn't be "helpers" who have to be "asked", they should be taking responsbility to parent their children equally with their wives. (Just my two cents, as an unmarried mother-to-be who's at least glad that I know going in that it's ALL going to be on my shoulders... so won't be resenting the useless spouse!)

Oh my gosh you are singing my song! Big mama hugs. I am due 5.29, so am around 27w like you and today we have a snow day! Hooray! Except that mama has been up since 3am. WTF?? Aye, even my 2yo slept until 5:15. Shoot me!

It is soooo much easier with one. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that it is not as bad as you are remembering. I had one, and then two, and the only part I found tremendously harder with two than one was the not getting enough sleep. It took much longer to feed and get the babies back to sleep. They didn't always wake at the same time, or they woke each other, so there was just lots and lots more sleeplessness. Plus, twins tend to be smaller, and to take longer to be able to eat enough to sleep for longer. One of my daughters is just a terrible sleeper, so it may have nothing to do with twins at all, of course. She is five now, and she has rarely slept the entire night in her whole life.

One thing we did with the twins was to get a night nurse two nights a week for a couple of months. Instead of getting a baby nurse full time for a few weeks in the beginning, like a lot of my friends did, we got a night nurse two nights a week, who didn't come until 10 at night, and stayed until 6, because that is what we could afford, and it let us get about 8 hours sleep. She wasn't a real nurse, she was just someone who took care of babies at night. It was awesome. We were so sleep deprived, but we knew that at least two nights a week, we could get a decent night's sleep. The second she arrived, we hit the sheets, turned out the lights and went to sleep. No tv, no books, no nothing but sleep. It was heavenly, and got us through the rest of the week.

You'll be a pro this time with only one baby instead of two! The twins won't wake you up anymore b/c you'll already be awake feeding Max. How's that for multitasking!

And maybe, just maybe, you'll get lucky as I did with my baby Max... he has slept like, well, a baby, since 5 months... ok, that's only two months ago but still... through. the. night. My daughter didn't do that until she was about 4.5 yrs old... do what you can to sleep sleep sleep...

I really think that's why God makes kids so damned cute...so we don't turn on them in moments like these.

{{{Hugs}}} and get some rest.

I'm not getting very good sleep either, and it's still the 3 year old twins waking me up, not the baby! Like you I was ready for the no sleep, but A was sleeping through the night, no lie, withing 3 weeks of coming home from the hospital. Of course, she weighed over 9 lbs, which makes all the difference. Having one newborn is infinitely easier than having two. Heck, having one three year old would be easier than having two :)
Last night N fell out of bed and D hid his pacifier and lovey and cried for them, twice, trying to make both my husband and me search for them. At least this time it was at 1:30 am not 3:30. Ooooh it's bad enough having to wake up to give a 3 year old a pacifier without having them HIDE them on you. Little brat.

One of the things I have liked least about pregnancy is the lack of sleep. It just keeps getting worse as my due date nears. I spent 3 hours awake thinking about breast pumps two nights ago. WTF? I am TIRED, I need to rest before the big event.

OK, serious assvice follows: I've got a 3 year old and a 13 month old, and with neither one of them was sleep all that big a problem (i.e. for me). Now, quite possibly, I just hit the sleep jackpot with both kids, but I at least try to delude myself into believing that it had to do with having both of them in bed with me (or in a co-sleeper, right beside me), and breastfeeding. Both my babies were exactly the same: as newborns, they'd start to wake up at night every 2 hours or so, I'd jolt awake instantly (before they were really even awake), pop them on the breast, doze while they ate, they'd fall back to sleep, I'd go back to sleep, and that would be it. NO night crying, no anything. I actually looked forward to nighttime, as it was much quieter and easier to deal with that one simple need (to eat) than during the day. I did not change them at night unless there was some sort of diaper leak or it was a poopy diaper. As they got bigger, the night feedings got cut back gradually, till both could go through the night at 6 months with no feedings. I was tired in those early months, but really, it just wasn't that big of a deal, especially before I had to go back to work. So, you never know, it really might not be as much of a nightmare as you're expecting! Especially with just one to deal with, rather than two.

who knows, maybe now that you know what you're in for, you might get a super sleeps-a-lot-baby...

Tertia, I am 29 weeks pg today and I have had the same philosophy all along as you - sleep now, store it up, b/c I know it won't be coming when the baby gets here. And like you, I'm up a jillion times a night. NOT sleeping now. Nature's cruel trick? Nobody is waking me up really. It's allergies / sinuses / bad dreams (me) / pee. Maybe time for a night night pill to sleep through it all.

Last night I dreamed that I went into labor right now. And yes I was worried about the baby being early. But the focus in my dream was this - I will never, ever survive a newborn if I start out as tired as I am now.

Oh Tertia, after twins, having a single baby is going to be a walk in the park.

Besides, little Lucky Max, he's going to be the world's most darling and perfect baby - the sort that you're leaning over in the middle of the night because he's been asleep for 7 whole hours, and he's only 3 days old.

You've certainly earned it!

Hugs,
Amy

I remember thinking and saying the same thing while pregnant with Joseph - I didn't need all the night waking to prepare me for future night waking, I just needed sleep!

Here's hoping you can get a bit more soon. Definitely ask your hubby to help so you can.

This is going to come back to bite me. My eldest daughter is two and three quarters and her sister is four months old. But this time around, though the night wakenings are as frequent and many and yet there is no napping during the day, I find the tiredness easier to deal with. Not actually easy but easier. I think it is because the time is going by so much faster that the light at the end of the tunnel is so much closer.

I'm having the same feelings about breast feeding this time. It can be such a pain. Sometimes literally. But if we do the same as we did the last time I know that it will all be over before Christmas! How can that be. How can my baby grow up so fast!

Earplugs. And have Marko switch nights with you!

This is where a big age gap helps. Very rarely do I get woken up at night - by my son that is. Still wake up to go pee and with this heat have not been sleeping well. Not to mention the dreams! Do you have strange dreams? Almost every night and they exhaust me!

And as others have said, I am sure 1 will be easier than 2.

Tertia, I'd really like to encourage you that this time can be so different. You will be different (you know way more than you did) and Max will be different. He'll have his own personality and there will be only one of him:)

I had a horrible sleep experience with Child 1 and am enjoying the complete opposite with Child 2. I credit the better experience primarily to Child 2's sleep personality but that personality would have never been "found" had I not made some different choices. I don't rush in. I give her a chance to settle herself. I've done a bit of cio.

Anyway, I really hope that what you dread will not appear and that your baby time with Max will be fabulous!

Yes. I'm worried about the upcoming sleepness nights in our future too. I told DH that I want to get a better coffee maker and possibly espresso maker as a present for having the twins. I also have to admit that having a child already has made this pregnancy fly by more than the one with our daughter did. We're so busy with everyday life, work and taking our daughter to her activities that we don't have much time for thinking. Good luck with the sleep!!!

No more to add to the excellent advice you've already gotten, just want to weigh in on one point. When I was pregnant and people told me that not sleeping was preparation for having the baby (I had serious sleep disturbances, hormonally-based according to OB), I seriously wanted to hit them. You do not prepare for a marathon by exhausting yourself, so whyTF do people think it's helpful to say that the utter exhaustion of pregnancy is some kind of preparation? GRRR.

a singleton is so much easier after twins you won't even hardly have to wake up for him...trust me. plus my singleton only ever got up once a night (bliss!) and slept thru the night at 7 weeks. trust me - much easier!

I only have one baby, and a good sleeper at that, but I do think half of it is down to the baby's personality/temperament, and the other half is down to yours. If you can somehow train yourself not to jump up at every whimper (ask Marko how - he seems pretty good at it...!) the baby might learn to sleep longer earlier. But there's no getting around the frequent wakings when they're tiny, especially if you are breastfeeding.
Can you live in another house with Rose for the first 3 months...?

My second is one-week old today. My older son is 2.5 and I had forgotten just how rough this time is. I am soooooo, freakin' tired. I wish my husband could grow a set of boobs just to take one of the night feedings. Still, I do know that this is temporary. I know I will sleep again. I know I will not always have a kid attached to my boob. Pregnancy and delivery are too exhausting on their own. Mother nature needn't teach us any lessons before the baby arrives.

Seeing the chiropractor has REALLY helped me get better sleep. I don't know if finding a comfortable position takes time away from sleep, too, but for me it certainly did! Now I don't toss and turn nearly as much and I don't feel all stiff and sore when I wake up. DH is FABULOUS about night-time stuff... As long as he hears the boys... Which is almost never now that they're in their own room. LOL He has assured me that when this one is born (I'm due just a few weeks before you!!!) and is sleeping in our room, he will do exactly what he did for the boys: wake up, change the diaper, and bring the baby to me for nursing. If I need anything (like a glass of milk or juice, etc.) he will also do that for me before going back to sleep. He's one of the blessed - he can wake up, spend 30 minutes with a crying toddler, and as soon as he's back in his bed, he's knocked right back out. LOL It will all come together. I agree that the only thing saving my children from being eaten is their serious abundance of cute-ness. :-)

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Alanna

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