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Happy Birthday for tomorrow to Adam and Kate!!!!!!

They can do it, and more importantly, YOU can do it. We went through this with our son when he turned from two to three - we led up to it for a couple of weeks that three year olds didn't use pacifiers (he called it his 'paba' - his baby word for it) and that when he turned three he'd have to give it up. (We did have his birthday as his first day without the 'paba')

Yes, it was heartrending (I will NEVER forget him lying down for nap and sobbing "I don't WANT to be three, I just want to be TWO.") but you know what? It only took about two days and it was forgotten and he never looked back, and he doesn't even remember now (at almost 7) that he ever even USED a pacifier.

Your munchkins will be fine, and if you just hold strong for a couple of days, so will you!

I think everything will go swimmingly! They may be so distracted by all their great b-day gifts that they don't even notice it that much. Maybe one or two days of whining, and then I predict they'll forget all about it.
Happy Birthday dear, dear Adam and Kate!!!!!

The kids'll be fine. They're FOUR. You will be a big ol' wuss and practically beg them to use the dummies the second they look faintly uncertain about anything.

The birthday would actually be a good day to give 'em up, because won't they be having too much fun to want the pacifiers in the first place?

But know this: If you let your kids use those dummies after their birthday, there are thousands of people on the internet who stand ready to call the Capetown police to report you.

You can do it!!!! We are rooting for you & Adam & Kate to have success!

You can do it! My oldest wouldn't give up his pacifier either (called it his papi). We told him (right before his 4th birthday) that he had to give it up at 4 but that meant the papi fairy (think tooth fairy) would come and bring him a present. Was it bribery...sure! But it worked.

You can do it! If you survived infancy, you can survive a couple days with cranky toddlers. They will soon be on to other things, and you just get to keep reminding them every 10 minutes how proud you are and what a big boy/girl he/she is.

Then bribe them with cookies.

Good luck with the Great Dummy Disposal. And happy birthday to Kate and Adam and Mummy, who was there at the time of course (except the rest of the world completely forgets you actually did the work on the day!).

do they know this is coming?

what i did with my daughter and her bottles was pack them all up in a bag and have her deliver them to a friend who was pregnant. she was all prepped to give them to the new baby.

of course my friend didn't really want the rasty bottles, but she played along and we turned it into a big presentation. worked like a charm.

My FIVE year old gave her bottle to Santa. After a sad goodbye and plenty of tears she handed it over. We haven't looked back, it hasn't been mentioned once and she is finally sleeping through the night because she isn't waking up all night looking for her bottle.

rah rah go go happy 4th birthday Adam and Kate. Can't believe it's been 4 years since I threw a virtual baby shower for you.
Unrelated to this momentous occaision - we need a nanny this spring - does Rose know anyone who would like to adopt my family and come to Canada?

They can do this. You can do this. They will be brave and you're going to be brave.

Oh and I am totally calling the police if you wuss out. *wink8

I went through this with my sons, who were :::whispering::: a year older than yours before we finally gave them up. To be honest, it was a rough couple of nights, but then it was fine. The one who suffered most was my daughter when she gave up sucking her thumb. That was harder because you can't very well just take away the thumbs. But she (and I) survived. I'm cheering for all of you!

When a friend of mine was getting her son off his they agreed that he was too big and the his little cousin needed it so they went through the whole charade of mailing it to his cousin and he was fine after that.

My pep talk is simple, the person who suffers the most is not them, it's you. I promise! If you can do it, they can only do better, even though it may seem differently...

my son still had his dummy for bed when he was 5 and a half! He's almost 21 now and a very well adjusted young man!

I'm cheering for you!!! My eight-year-old just had to go to the orthodontist in November to have installed a thingy in the top of her mouth to stop her from sucking her thumb. It was messing up her jaw and swallowing big time! I'm so glad it's done! She was really bad. Anytime she was bored or was going to sleep the thumb went in her mouth. It's very exciting to see it stop!

You can do it. I think pride in being "a big boy and a clever and strong little woman" will appeal to them. Now, Adam, with his sensory issues, may need help in rehearsing of other things he can do to calm himself that won't themselves be regressive, but I'm sure you've discussed this with his therapist?
Mantra: Do what is best for your kids, not what they want you to do.

You can do this and so can they. I used the presentation of the offending item to a friend and it worked very well. I also substituted sippy cups for new big boy cups. He got to pick them out and helped me dispose of the old cups. Involving my son was key.

You can do this if for nothing else than to get the ugly internet off your back. :)

Happy Birthday A & K.

I know, I know it can't be 4 years! Reading your 'oh my got they are a year older tomorrows posts'is becoming an anual ritusl while making the caking and sewing a dress (yep I am crazy) for my own hanuary 7th 2005 baby..

Four is a really big one in Holland. Tomorrow morning she is of to the big school for the first time... she is getting big

If you don't do it now, you will have to explain to their (in)significant other why they still need a dummy to fall asleep when they get married. (I have a good friend who still sleeps with her blanket from infancy... at age 42!! - I guess that might keep them at home a little longer) Consider this your early wedding present to them both.

I feel for you. The dentist told us at 2 the binky had to go. It was causing a serious overbite. The dentist spoke to her about it and said they were for the babies and would she please bring them in so the dentist could give them to all the babies? The kid wasn't really buying it. I kept hyping how the babies would really like to have binkies. She was softening to the idea when one night she was dancing about the house just before her third birthday. She fell and jammed her front tooth into her gum. She never sucked another binky after that. I guess the tooth was very intergral to her binky enjoyment. I do wish you the best of luck. Its a tough habit to break!

No advice, just wishing you luck. Be strong. You can do it! Hoping that you are surprised by how easily they let go.

We just ditched the dummy this week. My daughter will be 5 in March. Um yeah, I was weak... She loved it so much, and I just didn't have the heart to take it away. We talked about it heaps, only for bedtime etc, but she had it in for most of the day when we were at home. So, new year, new start and we said goodbye on January 2nd. I waited until the 2nd so we could go on a very special shopping trip where she could buy whatever she wanted. And guess what, bribery worked! She pouted for about 5 minutes and then got busy shopping.

Best of luck, I'll be thinking of you. And Happy Birthday to Adam and Kate!! How are they 4 already? Scary...

you are a terrific mother and you will do a fantastic job of weaning the twins off the dummies. they are blessed to have you as a mother.

I am foolishly trying to get rid of the binky (dummy) except for at night. Today was the first morning. My daughter cried for about 20 minutes "Binky gone. Binky Gone." over and over, huge tears, nose sniffing, red face, on the floor. It was SO SO SO hard not to cave. I am abt to leave for home to see what tonight brings. I will be thinking of you......

Happy Birthday to your babies. They will ALWAYS be your babies. Rest assured in that fact :)

p.s. it took me a minute to figure out what the 'dummy' reference was.

Never knew that was the name for it. So kewl.

My daughter just went through this with my 3 1/2 year old grandson. It's been hell this past week for him but it's finally starting to get better. She started telling him last month that after Christmas they were going to give his mimi's (pacifer's)to all the babies who need them. They let him pick out a new stuffed animal, a huge CareBear, in exchange for his mimi's. It hasn't been easy, we're talking tantrums, total meltdowns, trashing his bedroom looking for a mimi, waking up in the middle of the night crying hysterically. But it is getting better. You can do this Tertia, you just have to persevere. And have the patience of a saint.

Sue

Haha @ Orange.

Heck - we'll call the Blits Patrolie on your ass. Don't back down, you woes.

You can do it. Get them all out of the house.

You can do it, Tertia!!

I know I wrote this the last time I posted about this, but I have to reiterate: If you keep an unwavering line about this, your kids will follow. I swear the harder part is the parent having the gumption and stick-to-it-ness to implement "No More Dummies". Period. "You are four now."

Give yourself a week. Check back with us in the middle or anytime you need a reassurance boost. I bet it will only take a couple days if you stick with it. Consistency, consistency, consistency.

Stay strong and keep us posted! You can do it!!

They can do it and so can you. Make sure you collect them all when you take them away. My friends daughter had a "secret" stash and they kept reappearing. She was a clever girl!

You can do it, yes you can! If you can't do it, nobody can! Goooooo Tertia! *waves pompoms*

Good luck, babe. I am thinking of you! I'm sure there will be a grieving process in regards to the lost dummies but they'll move along quickly. Can't hold Adam & Kate back for long!

xxx (<~removed all the hugs because I know you don't like them)

You MUST stay the course and be done with this before you have a new babe to care for!
Be strong!

Our now 5 year old had one until two and a half. We did cold turkey and it was bad for one night. When her little brother was born 3.5 years later, she couldn't even remember what it was called. You are not scarring them for life. You all will be just fine. Can't believe they are 4!

Random idea but...
Can you go away to a hotel to sleep the first night?
(all of you that is)
My son quit his bottle when we didn't have it with us at the hotel and he informed us that he was ok without it at the hotel. He then made it through a week at a beach house without them. When we got back to our home, the first night he wanted one but we said they were gone since he declared he hadn't needed them. He cried and I offered him warm milk in a cup but he didn't want it.
That was it. The next night, it didn't come up.
I was amazed that the vacation thing worked - we actually had some secretly packed but were hoping he could quit cold turkey while away and we got lucky.

Random idea #2
Can you have some kind of ceremony to say goodbye to them. Maybe even tie one to a helium balloon and watch it sail away? (I know not great for the environment but maybe you can pick up trash in a park sometime to make up for it) I think SuperNanny did some kind of goodbye ceremony with bottles where they threw them in the trash and then had new sippy cups come in with the tide at the ocean. (something like that)

Good Luck!
'wishIknew'

When I was a kid I had a stuffed dog I loved and took everywhere with me. We were inseperable. Then one day I lost the dog while taking a walk in the woods. I shed not a tear and seemed to barely notice.

You just never know so buck up and hope for the best! And of course you'll make it through. If they cry and gnash their teeth you will stay cheerful and tell them how happy they are to be too big for dummies! YAY!!!!

YAY!!!! Happy Birthday, Kate and Adam!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buy some earplugs and remain strong! You can do this! My little addict was 4.5 when we pulled the plug, I understand your anxiety but it really was not so bad.

Give me a "T"
Give me an "E"
ahh hell with it,
Give her a bottle of wine!!

Good luck, and please blog how it goes, I'll need the info when mine have to give it up.

Just before my son's first bday,I took that dummy and threw it in the bin.It kept dragging on the floors, disgusting, it had to go.He looked for it for about 2 days, then he was over it. I know that it will be difficult for you, since the kids are old enough to remember it.Just kept telling them what big kids they are, and I'm sure they will be okay.Good luck, and Happy Birthday Adam and Kate

From comments: "I'm cheering for you!!! My eight-year-old just had to go to the orthodontist in November to have installed a thingy in the top of her mouth to stop her from sucking her thumb. It was messing up her jaw and swallowing big time!"

Ok, dude, if that doesn't give you a (gulp) cheer on from the side, nothing will. I knew a kid in high school who had enormous gigantic buck teeth hanging out her front lip because she never stopped sucking her thumb. The twins are going to be UGLY if they don't stop sucking!!! Big enormous horse teeth... can you see it? On the wedding photos?

Now there you go. Don't you feel stronger already?

(someone had to be the a-hole between all these nice, sweet comments...happy birthday)

We got rid of hours about 4 months ago and my daughter is 3 and a half now. The most important bit for me was to get rid of all the dummies to a place where I couldn't be weak. So I put them all in the outside bin (where the dog poo goes and all the household rubbish). I knew that no matter how bad things got I would NEVER get them out of that bin to put in her mouth. We had it bad for about a week and on the first night she was inconsolable for about 2 hours. The dummy fairy came to give presents, but before she went to sleep she sobbed to me 'Will the dummy fairy be cross because I'm crying?' I though my heart would just break there and then, but we got through it and she s fine now. She remembers the dummies, but as something that babies have.
I was very careful though not to say that they were being given to a 'baby who didn't have any' as she is a very empathic child and I knew she would be upset my wanting to take something away from a poor baby!

Good Luck, you can do it.

HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY KATE & ADAM! MWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH - KISS KISS XXX

I don't know if this will help, but here's a positive anecdote. This Christmas just gone my nearly-4 year old daughter (her birthday is in February) gave up her dummy to Santa Claus. She was completely addicted to it, to the point where she would hide them around the house so I couldn't put them out of her reach. We talked about it for literally months beforehand, she was telling people she was going to give her dummies to Santa for Christmas and right up until the very last minute I was convinced that this was never going to work.

But it did. She put those two dummies (one for the mouth, one for the hand of course) onto the plate with the shortbread biscuits and left them for Santa, then asked me to cuddle her in bed for a few minutes. The only thing she said was "I wish I still had my dummies" but once I reminded her where they were she just sighed and went to sleep. And it's been like that ever since, she hasn't asked for them back and she sleeps more deeply than she used to.

Like you, I was sure that there was going to be massive drama at bedtime and it was going to be more trouble than it was worth. It definitely was when I made my son give up his dummy at 3 - but that extra year of age seems to have helped a lot.

Good luck with it all - and good luck surviving the birthday tomorrow!

I am sure that you will be presently surprised by your children! Our son Josh was 2.5 years old when Luke was born and practically married to his dummy! We decided to leave the dummy issue until after Luke was born as we didnt want the little germinator taking away his little brothers dummy and having a suck when we werent looking. Anyhow, tidied the kithen one night and put the dummies in a container just to neaten things up, not meaning to tkae them away. J has never mentioned them again, its like they never existed! Out of sight out of mind!

PS I had a dummy until i was nearly 6!!! (dont know what my mother was thinking). No major dentistry problems and even managed to complete 2 degrees :)

Tertia, best of luck. I'm sure it will work out in the end. If it makes you feel better, I used my pacifier until I was five. I was the youngest,and my parents weren't too concerned about things like that after being worn down by my brother and sisters. But I guess by age 5 my parents thought I should give it up.

My mother told me one day that the maid had accidentally sucked up the pacifier in the vacuum cleaner, and I couldn't use it anymore. It was upsetting but I survived it. ;) I didn't figure out until I was about 12 that she made that story up. Duh. (Good for my mom for blaming it on someone else! ;) )

I don't understand why they can't continue to use the pacifiers. Did the dentist tell you they have to stop?

I'm not the least worried about Adam and Kate. YOU CAN DO THIS! They will be fine. I promise!

I'm going to have to say that it is likely to not be a major deal at age 4 to give it up. granted, every kid is different but I'm suspecting that it will go much better than you think. At age 4 they should not really have much of a sucking reflex really and it is just something that was there and they used it. My kids both got theirs taken away at age 2 (they were both totally addicted) and it went much smoother than I ever imagined. It showed me that they needed it much less than I thought they did.

Victoria, any dentist will tell you to stop even at a really young age. I know mine told us to stop at age 1, I don't think there are any dentists that will support pacifier use at all!

Just dispose of the dummies and have NONE in the house. You will make it - no problem. My BFF's kid needed a dummy from birth. If he wasn't on the bottle, he had a plug in his mouth. She told him when we was 3 that when the dummies were gone, there would be no more dummies. The first night he had to go to bed wihtout one, she made her husband put him down (he was the reason for the dummies to get lost at the babysitter's house - hint: They were not supposed to go to the babysitter's house). Hubby had to stay with the kid until he fell asleep, but was it. No more dummies.

Gather up all the dummies and snip the ends of with scissors. Show them that they are broken and toss them out. You can't go back and let them have them this way. I did this and it went surprisingly much better than I expected. I hope you have the same outcome.

You can do it! Says the woman who has a 3 1/2 year old still with the pacifier. I foresee we too shall have to go cold turkey one day.

Long time lurker, first time poster (and also a pedaiatric dentist). If it is not too late, try this: "You are going to be four! You are going to get presents for your birthday! You are now officially BIG kids! There are new little babies who need your dummies! You are a big kid and can help out these new babies!" Sometimes giving kids a reason other than "it is just BAD for you" gives them a coping mechanism. :)

We had balloons and cake and a parade on the "Great Binky Going-Away Day." It seemed to help. I will be thinking of you and wishing Adam and Kate a Happy Birthday! Good luck, be strong! I'm sure it will work out fine.

Have you prepared them? What is the plan?? I'd make a big deal out of how big they are, how old they are now that they are 4 and that 4 yr olds do not use them anymore. Do something fun with it. They will do great.

I read these comments with disbelief. Oh, puh-lease. Let them keep their dummies for now. Or at least until a few months after the baby is born. It's only a dummy, for fuck's sake: it's not heroin. Have you ever seen a seven-year-old child sucking a dummy? Me neither!

Tertia, your kids will discard their dummies of their own accord, and sooner than you might think, if you give them the right incentives. And please disregard all this tooth/dentist stuff: 'Major Dentistry Problems' indeed! They either have good straight teeth, or they don't.

I suggest you stop worrying, cuddle up in bed with your family, tickle them until they scream, and enjoy this wonderful, magical time before Max arrives. Because, face it, once he's in your family, nothing will ever be the same again.

my son had a visit to the dentist a few months before he turned 5 and she talked to me about the fact that he had to give up the thumb (and blankie because they go together). I was anticipating months and months of bribes and heartache. however, he had obviously been listening to the conversation (couldn't help it as she showed me that his teeth are starting to go skew). He got in the car and said that he won't be sucking his thumb any more and he would give up blankie. And that was that (he had a pretty bad habit too). So if all else fails, go and see some authority figure - maybe that will work. And maybe it will be really easy just because they are ready?? Good luck anyway.

We've just ditched the dummy, my son is 3 and a half and we left it for Father Christmas (with the beer and mince pies) on Christmas Eve to give to the new babies in the world that have just been born. There was a thank-you present too (bribery always works IMO!) and we haven't looked back, not even 1 cry over the dummy, nothing. He casually asked the one afternoon where his dummy was and when I repeated the story, he left it at that. Since then nothing. It helped that we spoke about FC taking the dummy for about 6 weeks before Christmas so that prepared him. Good luck, it's often not as bad as we expect!
xx

Hoping all goes well!! Happy Birthday!! Holy smokes!

Lots of luck! We just ditched the bottle at xmas, right before my son turned 3. *blushing* The way we did it was said that Santa needed baba's for all the babies, and since he wasn't a baby anymore he didn't need them. We talked about it for about 2 months on and off, and he was actually psyched to give the baba's to needy babies. The day after xmas the babas were all gone. He curled up in a little fetal position at bedtime and told me "Mama, I so sad. Baba gone!" I nearly gave in right then, but stuck it out. He whined a bit but fell asleep fine and slept well too. He whined a couple more days after that, but nothing big. And voila! We're now 2 weeks baba-free! Paci is next, but I'm going to wait a couple of months before we do that.

Maybe you could tell them they need to give the Paci's to their Aunties baby charity? Of course, you won't really, but having them think they're helping other kids might make them feel really proud and big. Auntie could make a big deal about receiving a bag of disgusting pacis from niece and nephew too. :)

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