These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner. (not sure if this is really true, got it off another blog, I thought it was flipping hilarious)
Q: Does
it ever get rainy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so
how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then
just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see
elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been
drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in
the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they
say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South
Africa ? Can you send me a List of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's
Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q:
Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA
)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific.
A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not....
Oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow.
Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA
)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring
cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers
like we do.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France
)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Can you tell me the
regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male
population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do
you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at
Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? (
Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import
them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk
available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful
civilisation of vegetarian hunter- gatherers.. Milk Is
illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who
can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in
A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly
harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in
South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying
in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have
to pay her by the hour.
And just to remind you, what a typical (i.e. mine) looks like in South Africa
(Designed by my brilliant friend, the American Asshole)
![Medsitters Au pairs](<a href="http://medsitter.com/" title="Medsitters"><img src=" http://www.tertia.org/medsitter.png" /></a> ){kind=link}
Too funny!
As an American, it's good to know we don't hold the monopoly on stupid questions.
Posted by: maureen | 22 January 2009 at 05:17 AM
"Oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked."
LOL-worthy.
Posted by: alison | 22 January 2009 at 05:58 AM
The questions: downright frightening
The responses: f-ing hilarious! I love the one about seeing elephants and the one about going naked to a koala bear race. Priceless. I wish I could answer some of my 10 grade students' questions with the same level of snarkiness without getting into a bit of hot water.
Posted by: Kathy | 22 January 2009 at 06:40 AM
I was on a break the other day and an American actually asked me "when do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? Since you don't get snow in December?"
Posted by: Samantha (Vancouver, Canada) | 22 January 2009 at 06:42 AM
But....where are the koalas? I don't think that's really a picture of your back yard because everyone knows the koala population is out of control there.
Posted by: Shylah | 22 January 2009 at 07:06 AM
hahaha, I work for the South African Department of Tourism ( International Relations ) and those questions are so true. We get these on a daily basis.
My favourite one is when a delegate asked me if I am originally for South Africa because I am white??? and If I might perhaps now Joe Soap in DRC ( Congo).
Posted by: Tracey | 22 January 2009 at 08:09 AM
So very funny! Good one!
Posted by: LOL | 22 January 2009 at 08:13 AM
MwaHahaha.
At least we're not the only ones being asked dumb questions about koalas in Aussie.
J
Posted by: Geohde | 22 January 2009 at 08:13 AM
Love it!
Here in Hong Kong we have had tourists (usually the ones with the new president) asking which way is Chinatown?!?!
Posted by: Lora | 22 January 2009 at 08:14 AM
When I was overseas I used to get that a lot too - "how can you be South African if you're white?"
Ummmm... then where did apartheid come from????
Posted by: A | 22 January 2009 at 08:21 AM
Very funny! I lived in Italy for 5 years. Most of the Italians couldn't understand:
1. I was white
2. I flew to Italy on a plane (what you have planes in Africa?)
3. I knew how to drive!!
Posted by: Tripsmom | 22 January 2009 at 08:34 AM
It is all perspective.
I had a South African lady helping me clean the house and I was explaining that the seasons in America and the UK, where I am from, were opposite to South Africa. She thought about it and then asked if that meant they waited till summer to have Christmas. When I told her no, the 25th of December was the universally accepted date for the holiday, she was slightly horrified at the idea of Christmas in the cold.
Took every ounce of energy I had not to burst into laughter.
Posted by: Tiah | 22 January 2009 at 09:06 AM
Too, too, too funny!
Posted by: Bianca W | 22 January 2009 at 09:15 AM
Bwhahahaaaaaaa. vvvv funny.
Posted by: Janine | 22 January 2009 at 10:18 AM
Wow just how thick are they out there and we get accused of being a third world country!!!
Posted by: deblet | 22 January 2009 at 11:30 AM
Wait for those about Romania:
Where did Dracula live?
Do you have running water?
Former USSR republic?
Capital is Budapest?
...and you have enough imagination for the rest.
Posted by: diana | 22 January 2009 at 11:32 AM
Wait for those about Romania:
Where did Dracula live?
Do you have running water?
Former USSR republic?
Capital is Budapest?
...and you have enough imagination for the rest.
Posted by: diana | 22 January 2009 at 11:45 AM
Yep, the Australian tourism authorities get questions like these also.
And I believe tourism operators in Austria get regularly abused because tourists come expecting to see kangaroos.
Posted by: Kez | 22 January 2009 at 12:27 PM
I just got the same email, except that it was supposedly from the Australian Tourism Authority. Pretty much the same wording too.
Posted by: andy | 22 January 2009 at 12:35 PM
Wow. Thoroughly enjoyed your blog. I will surely come back. Now you say this is funny, let me invite you to Nigeria via http://www.jidesalu.com .
Nice one
Posted by: Jide Salu | 22 January 2009 at 12:57 PM
Wow.
Thoroughly enjoyed your blog. I will surely come back. Now you say this is funny, let me invite you to Nigeria via http://www.jidesalu.com .
Nice one
Posted by: Jide Salu | 22 January 2009 at 12:57 PM
Very funny. Growing up in Canada I used to hear the same : cars or dogsleds, houses or igloos, do we ski to work/school, etc. I agree with Tiah about it all being perspective, though. I spent a month in S.A. three years ago,(with my American hubby) and we were asked about Mickey Mouse and Tom Cruise (both close personal friends of ours, apparently) a couple of times.
Posted by: Heather | 22 January 2009 at 01:32 PM
So glad I logged in this morning. People don't really ask those, do they? Hysterical!
Posted by: Lee Anne | 22 January 2009 at 02:41 PM
In Austria they sell T Shirts that say "No we don't have Koala Bears in Austria">
Posted by: kathleenm | 22 January 2009 at 02:43 PM
Wait - I don't understand that picture. Where are the koalas? (USA)
Posted by: T. | 22 January 2009 at 03:30 PM
Crap, Shylah beat me to the punch line... :)
Posted by: T. | 22 January 2009 at 03:31 PM
I also want a zebraridgeback dog. Perhaps if I paint some stripes on mine ? or see if there is willing zebra male to make some zbridgbackera pups
Posted by: an | 22 January 2009 at 04:14 PM
Its nice to know that stupidity exists worldwide...too funny!
Posted by: Kristin | 22 January 2009 at 04:27 PM
What's the best way to get the coffee out of my laptop keyboard now that I spewed it all over the place while reading your post? Naked Koala Bear Racing in Africa. Gosh T... really?! :D
Posted by: camille | 22 January 2009 at 05:24 PM
Can I ride the elephant in your backyard?
Posted by: Rachel | 22 January 2009 at 05:25 PM
I can't wait to go to the Koala races!
Posted by: Diane | 22 January 2009 at 05:26 PM
But if your friend designed it, then how come there isn't picture of Tertia in there?
Doesn't she know that all South Africans look exactly like her and Marko? ;)
Posted by: Aurelia | 22 January 2009 at 05:27 PM
I love it. I was born in Michigan in the States, lived there for nearly 30 years. I still find myself having this conversation with people:
Them: Where are you from originally?
Me: Michigan.
Them: Wow! It must be cold there!
Me: ... Yeah, you're thinking of Antarctica, not Michigan. But thanks.
Posted by: Molly Chase | 22 January 2009 at 06:25 PM
Tertia, that's freaking hilarious. I roared with laughter. I should send this link to my other South African friends!
Posted by: Dayna | 22 January 2009 at 07:17 PM
Awesome! We just had an Australian exchange student and someone asked her if she rode a kangaroo to school.
When I lived in Alaska tourists would ask me if I lived in an igloo.
People can be so dumb.
Posted by: Katy | 22 January 2009 at 07:53 PM
I don't care if those questions are for real but they are sooo funny... (I still can't believe people organize a trip for months and actually travel thousands of kilometers to ask these kind of questions...)
I have traveled all over the world (been in about 35 countries; lived in 4) and I still ask about safety... "Is it safe to walk at night in downtown?" "is it safe to take a rickshaw?". It is a stupid question, I know! How could anyone know when and where I could be mugged?? If they say yes, I still can get in trouble. If they say no, why on earth did I travel all the way from home to be there?
I still can't help asking for a local opinion... Sigh
Posted by: Dana | 22 January 2009 at 08:23 PM
It has been *years* but that photo NEVER gets old! LOL
Posted by: Sheri | 22 January 2009 at 08:26 PM
On a flight to from London to the USA a few years ago I was seated next to an elderly couple from Alaska. They asked me where I was from and I said Cape Town. The old gent said, "Ah yes, I visited Australia once, but I didn't see Cape Town!"
I spent most of my working life in the hotel industry and have seen and heard enough ignorance to last me a lifetime!
Posted by: Hanlie | 22 January 2009 at 10:22 PM
When I lived in New Mexico, I went to France with a tour group that consisted of students all around the country. The students from New York kept asking me if I had to have a passport to travel to Texas, a neighboring state.
They didn't get that New Mexico is part of the USA. And these were people FROM the USA! Crazy.
Posted by: anon | 22 January 2009 at 10:28 PM
Wait a minute...You have white people but no koalas? Dang! ;) I guess I'll keep reading your blog anyway...
I guess there are misconceptions about every country and it's people. My Japanese college roommate was surprised to see that 1) we weren't all fat 2) we we aren't all rich/live in a big house and 3) haven't all been to NY, DC, LA and or Disney World (apparently every Japanese person has been to all of those places..and taken pictures)
Posted by: Chickenpig | 23 January 2009 at 12:08 AM
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. On behalf of my fellow Americans, I will say that most of us don't know s**t about Canada either and we share the "world's longest undefended border" with them.
Posted by: Chicago | 23 January 2009 at 06:15 AM
When visiting a new country, one of the questions that writer David Sedaris likes to ask, to get an idea of the local culture, is, "When do you open your Christmas presents?" If you want to read a laugh out loud story about one such time, check out:
http://people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16/Christmas/6_to_8_black_men.txt
I saw him read this live and very nearly peed my pants.
Posted by: Chicago | 23 January 2009 at 06:21 AM
your humour is priceless. If you had a talk-show, I'd watch!
Posted by: ingrid | 23 January 2009 at 07:09 AM
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah aha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah haha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....
Posted by: renee frouws | 23 January 2009 at 09:02 AM
WONDERFUL. I laughed my head off.
(I don't think they're real either, fwiw, as I've seen a *similar* but not identical set for Australia, but damn they're funny.)
Posted by: Meg | 23 January 2009 at 09:45 AM
I love that the picture more everytime I see it! Did you have to treat all those animals for fleas also???
Posted by: Mary | 23 January 2009 at 04:21 PM
Clearly, Godzilla ate the koala bear.
Posted by: Kay | 23 January 2009 at 07:51 PM
I am a Texan. Please sit down. I do not own horses OR cows. I live in a high rise not on a farm.
Rattlesnakes are not pets.
Posted by: Lisame | 23 January 2009 at 10:38 PM
LOL These must be the same people who ask -
Do I need a passport/exchange money to go to Hawaii?(coming form California) - um, last time I checked we were the 50th State, granted there was that whole illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom and all.
Why don't you have a tan/you don't look Hawaiian. Well that would be because my ancestors came form Ireland and 1. I have a job = I don't hang out at the beach as much as I'd like and 2. skin cancer is a problem for those of us blond hired blue eyed types so I try to stay white.
(my personal faves)
Do you live in a grass shack? Yeah a two story one complete with indoor plumbing - very grand
Do you smoke weed? Well I'll plead the 5th on that one, but geeze we're not all stoners out here.
What rocks do these folks crawl out from under?
Posted by: Anne | 24 January 2009 at 08:36 PM
Thank you so much! My daughter leaves for Cape Town on Thursday!! I can't believe it. At least she will know how to get to Durban, now.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | 26 January 2009 at 05:45 AM
Anna just looked over my shoulder at the photo and said, "I want to go there!" Indeed.
Posted by: Ellen | 28 January 2009 at 05:06 PM