Kid round up

Haven't posted stories about my kids for a while. What type of a boring mommy blogger am I! I should be fired. I thought I would share a few random pics and stories about the kids.

This is such a cute, typical pic of my kids, I love it. Dress rehearsal for the school concert.

(Dress rehearsal at school)

They love their school and their teacher, Aunty B (who Adam calls Aunty V).  Aunty B is absolutely wonderful and I will be forever indebted to her for making their first experience of school such a positive, loving one. I wish they could stay there forever.  Luckily for all of us, they are there for a full year next year too before moving on to preschool. 

(End of year pic at school. A separate post to explain why there are only white kids in the pic, I am sure you would be interested to hear why it is so. Remind me if I forget)

They have both grown so much emotionally and socially this year, but especially Adam.  He has formed a close friendship with three other boys, the biking boys. The four of them all love riding on their bikes. They are all similar in that they aren't the very loud, rough boys, but they are also not the quiet, soft boys. They are each a little sensitive, a little bit of a mommy's boy, but still a boy at heart. Aunty B says it has done wonders for Adam as sometimes he acts as the leader and they follow his instructions.  He adores his friends, and the four of them are so sweet with one other.

(Adam, Luke, Sean, Matthew)

Adam is such a sweet child. He is super affectionate and LOVES to kiss and hug Marko and I.  His sensory issues are much better, although they will always be there. He has just learnt to manage it a bit better, as I knew he would.  He stills experiences everything super intensely, and is super observant of his surroundings, but it is much better.  A few weeks ago, a week after the school concert, I told him we would be seeing Father Christmas as a party we were going to. He asked me whether this time it would be a man Father Christmas and not a lady Father Christmas like at school. The Father Christmas at school was a woman, but you could hardly tell as she was fully dressed up in her outfit and spoke with a gruff voice, but he is just so in tune with everything that goes on around him.

(Conner and Kate)

Kate plays with most of the children quite freely. She joins in where ever she feels like it, but the one friend she plays with most is Connor, a very sweet little boy who doesn't talk much but shares her love of digging in the sand.  Every morning the two of them head off to the sand with their buckets and spades and start digging. I think Connor's lack of verbal skills is the perfect foil for Kate's bossiness. 

Kate is a real fire cracker. She is as tough as nails, but still adores her mommy. Her daddy too, but her mother is her favourite. I am not sure why as the father is much softer towards her, but somehow I am it.  She calls me 'mother'. It is so funny.  Not mommy, or mom, but 'mother'.  She speaks so well, she articulates each work so precisely, as if she is on stage. My family think it is hilarious.  We are not allowed to call her pretty or beautiful, no one is. I have no idea where that comes from. We are allowed to call her clever, or strong (in fact, she is not shy of pointing out how clever she is, or what a good singer she is), but you are not allowed to say she is pretty, she gets quite cross. 

I told the kids about Max and their reaction was so sweet, Adam had the hugest grin on his face and Kate kept asking when he was coming out. She is completely taken with the idea and keeps lifting up my shirt to talk to Max.  "look Max, look at me spin around".  Today I asked them if they wanted a bread roll with ham on and she ran over to my stomach to ask Max whether he wanted one too.  Adam told me tonight that he hopes Max wont poop in my tummy. I told him that I hoped so too.  Kate said next time it is her turn to choose a baby as she wants a girl baby. Marko told her to dream on, there is only one baby coming and this one is a boy one. NO MORE BABIES.

They have reached the stage where they tease each other. It drives me crazy. They know exactly which buttons to press with one another and take GREAT joy in doing so.  But, they also do get along really well.  This is when having twins is such a great thing. They play together all the time, they are forever making up games and keeping each other entertained. Luckily they both love being outside and could spend hours in the garden digging or playing or climbing.  Lucky for me!

Both of them are as brown as berries.  All over tans as they are forever taking their clothes off and running around the garden naked. They get that from me. 

(Birthday party at school as their birthday is during school holidays)

(Almost) four is a great age. SO much better than two or three.  I am really enjoying this age, and although I think most people, if they could choose, want a smaller age gap between their kids, I am glad it has worked out this way with Max. I am so pleased that I had four years of enjoying my kids without having my attention taken away by a younger child.  I know I could be accused of 'babying' my kids, but I feel no shame about that. In my opinion there is enough time to be big and grow up and so I have enjoyed allowing my children to enjoy being babies and young kids.  I have a sense of sadness that the baby time is coming to an end, but I also recognise it is time.

The wonderful thing about having kids post infertility* is that that special butterfly in the tummy feeling never goes away.  It might happen less often (especially when they are being bloody irritating) but I still find myself getting that delicious butterfly feeling inside of myself when I hear one of them call me mommy (or 'mother' in the case of Kate), or when they wrap their gorgeous arms around me and tell me they love me.  Although parenting is the hardest job I have ever done, it also the most rewarding and I am grateful every single day that I was lucky enough to have these two beautiful, healthy children of mine.  I am truly blessed.

*Edited to add: Of course all loving mothers feel this wonderful joyous butterfly feeling, but ours is mixed with the very visceral reminder of how close we came to never having this at all. It is the very beautiful feeling tinged with just an edge of the reminder of it used to be. How it almost never was.

Comments

[Ute]

Your daughter sounds a lot like mine. *LOL* She was only two and a half years old when an elderly lady called her "a cute little doll" in a supermarket, some time in summer 2007. Saskia's indignant reply: "I am no little doll! I'm a woman!" (The lady's face was absolutely priceless!)

[Kirsty]

A lovely post - I can't believe how the 2 of them have grown! I agree - I think your age gap is going to be perfect! And it's going to be so nice for you to mother 1 newborn, with the older 2 to help out!
One thing I disagree with - is the way you claim that it's because of your infertility that you appreciate your kids and get that "butterfly" feeling when they call you mommy. I haven't suffered from infertility, but I treasure each of my 3 babies, and LOVE it when they say "I wuv yoo mommy!" It makes my heart melt. Every time. I think that's a loving moms trait - regardless of how easy or difficuilt it was to have your babies.

[Helga]

Your children are lovely Tertia, and they give me a sweet inkling of what's to come since they are a little more than one year older than my son.

As to the having children post-infertility, I so know what you mean. Now I don't know what it would be like to have children without experiencing infertility, but on the other hand, the poster above doesn't know what it's like to be in our shoes either, does she? For me personally, I am positive that experiencing infertility gives the long awaited motherhood a special sheen. How it is for others, I have no idea, and I do not pass judgment. I am not saying that I am a better mother because I was infertile, but I know that I am different than I would have been without it, since the experience changed me.

[Wobs]

They are little "Mini-me's"... Adam looks like Marko and Kate like you. They are lovely!

[Liz]

Yes yes four years age gap is perfect. My son and daughter have four years differences between them. I jokingly said it gives us extra four years to save college money for daughter.

[LEB]

I've done it both ways - oops first baby, hell to get number two (losses, infertility, IVF). There is no difference in the love I have for my children but with my son there is a sense of pure amazement (Tertia puts it's perfectly, it is visceral & it goes beyond love or gratitude) that he is here at all & an overwhelming sense that I really, really beat the odds. It is very different from that heart melting feeling of adoration you have for your kids generally.

Lovely post :)

[Irene]

This is such a beautiful post. I love reading your stories about Adam and Kate. Your children are so lucky to have a mom like you.

Happy holidays to you and your family.

[Kristin]

Your children are absolutely delightful and are gorgeous!

[sheilah]

"...running around the garden naked. They get that from me."

Must be quite a show for the neighbors (you running around the garden naked, that is...).

And, yeah, you forgot to explain the only white children thing (although my son's kindergarten is pretty white too...only one little hispanic boy in the bunch...).

[amy]

How they have grown! And so gorgeous. I started reading your blog BEFORE they were born. Now look at them. I too loved the age 4 and had my twins when my first born was 4. Good age, had plenty of time with him before his siblings arrived. So happy for you.

[Lorraine]

Poor Kate, if she doesn't like hearing that she is pretty - that kid is gorgeous! They both look like so happy and carefree - the perfect picture of childhood.

[Debi]

Hi Tertia,

I just love these posts about your kids. I feel as if I know them...they sound so wonderful - their mommy (mother) does as well. You are all a lucky bunch :)

My thoughts are with you and your family during your mom's difficult time. Wishing you all good things (New York Size) that's kind of big!

I thought you may be able to make a suggestion for me. I have one beautiful, amazing child and I want another. To make a long story short every step of acheiving this miricle was like climbing Mount Everest. So I will never be pregnant again. I have three frozen embryos and would like to try and find a surrogate. I can't really afford all the agency fees and I was wondering if you know of people that use private surrogates and how they locate them. Any info would help.

Wishing you all a joyous New Year filled with health, love and lots of laughter.

Debi

[alison]

There's a four year age gap between my brother and I, and my mum always said it was just perfect.

Lovely kids, and yes, I agree, almost four is such an improvement on two or three.
:)

[Lindsay]

GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS!!
So lovely to have the update, they will read this one day and be reminded of how much you love them and always have.
P.S Thinking of you all on the 30th!!!

[becky]

What a beautiful post. Love hearing about their personalities. Been following you from before they were born, and it's just amazing to see them grow up.

You described the motherhood-after-IF so well. I wouldn't wish IF on anyone, but it definitely *does* allow you to enjoy the small things more, I think. Of course, we get annoyed too and sometimes want to mail our children to the north pole, but you get the best feeling of gratitude out of the blue as well.

It's also so nice to hear how Adam is doing with his SID. I have a son with the same dx, and right now we're doing a lot of therapy for it with not a lot of progress. Mostly we're working on food stuff now (as he only has about 8 foods he eats), and since you're supposed to feed your kids more than once a day I feel like I'm battling this SID thing 24/7, and it is exhausting. I don't let him see how frustrated I am, and our mealtimes our pleasant because I've worked hard to make them that way. But it just gets depressing to see your child gag on a bite of carrot while he lives on bread and butter. Sigh. So, thank you from a fellow-SID mom for saying that it *does* get better with time. My guy turns 3 tomorrow, and so you've helped me look forward to this next year instead of mourning the passing of 2, like I've been doing this morning! :)

[Kate]

I write this not to be snarky but because I'm genuinely curious: all the kids in your childrens' preschool are white?

[Mary]

Thanks for the update! You have a wonderful(expanding) family! I am thrilled for all of you. Max is one lucky little guy! LN7 indeed...

[Kez]

I started reading your blog three weeks before Adam and Kate were born. I have SO enjoyed seeing them grow into the wonderful little people they are today. And I am *thrilled* that they're getting a baby brother.

I understand your post-infertility feelings, although I had little trouble conceiving. I had a D&C when I was unknowingly pregnant but my baby survived. He was then born 8 weeks early. Sometimes when he is being extra cute, I get that combined loving-sick-grateful-terrified feeling of knowing how close I came to not having him.

[Jan]

Oh Tertia,
I have been a follower long before Adam and Kate were born, and I am so "f----ng" happy for you. Have your mom in my deepest thoughts, though.
Life, well, yeah.
Good on, you.

Xo from the States!

[Jill]

Kate's curls and little flyaways under her crown just melted my heart. Beautiful.