Just as well its a boy

I've always had this thing in my head that you should want daughters because daughters stay close to their mothers, and sons leave home to be with their wives.  We are three sisters and a brother and we are actually all very close to our parents.  I see my parents just about every day.  Marko's parents we see once every two weeks.  I suppose it works out that way because my parents stay up the road and his parents live a 30 min drive away.  (As soon as I got pregnant with the kids, I moved to be close to my mom)  But still, I've always had this 'thing' that girls will stay close to their mother. 

And so, when I got pregnant with LN7 (Leo/Max/Mack/James/Finn/Alex/Jack), my head said I want another girl.  I would have been happy with either of course, but I felt like I should want a girl.  Because girls stay close to their moms. But in my heart, I wanted another boy.  We are not a girly family and I am certainly not a girly girl.  However, Kate is even less of a girl than I am.

I told her a few days that we were going to a little friend from school's party.  A girls only party.  "Oh cool," says Kate, "will there be dinosaurs there?"  No, actually it is a fairy and princess party because that is what most girls like. Oh, she says.

Today I went shopping for Christmas presents for the kids.  I bought them quite a few presents that I know they will like, and while I worked my way to the pay point, I realized that not once had I ventured into the girls section.  I didn't even bother because she doesn't like anything there. Instead she is getting a giant remote control dinosaur, a skeleton set and a few other monster and dinosaur things. 

Then, on the way home from my mom today, Adam said he is going to buy all the kids in his class a present. All the boys are getting a car and all the girls are getting a princess.  Kate informs him that she doesn't want a princess.  What would you like, he asks.  A skullasaurus she says.  Oh ok, Kate can have a skullasaurus.

Yes, just as well LN7 is a boy because heaven knows what I would do with a girly girl.  Although, one of each would have been nice, a girl, a boy and a Kate.

PS Re the names thing, don't hold your breath.  We are making slow progress here.  Rather annoying that I have to consult my husband on this issue, slows up the decision making process considerably.

Comments

[Jen]

Great to see Kate is free to develop as a "Kate", not having to conform to gender identity issues! I know I always loved the fact that my Dad saw me as his son (given my inclinations for dirt/tractors etc) rather than as a traditional daughter. Has certainly made me into a very happy, non-traditional woman!

Another on the name front, if you can stand it.

Bryan.

Simple, will stand the test of time, goes with almost anything.

[Jilse]

I don't have a girly girl either and I have two daughters. While all the other girls I hear of are into Littlest Pet Shop, Barbies, and Disney Princesses, my daughter is into dinosaurs, pay wresting, Little Einsteins, and Sid the Science kid. I'll take my non-girly girls anyday. As my husband says "Who needs a boy we have boys already."

[Tess Lyons]

tertia is not a girly girl, and tertia is close to her mother
kate is not a girly girl, and she is close to her mother.

just because she's not swathed in pink tulle doesn't mean the old theory isn't right. she'll stay close, just like a carpenters song.
xo

[THMichael]

/me в шоке

[Cat]

Love your 'a girl, a boy, and a Kate'. You're a good mom to celebrate your children just the way they are.

I have 2 sisters and none of us are girly girls. My middle sister even served in Iraq and drove the general around in a Hummer with an M-16 over her arm. Pink tulle is overrated and not very comfortable.

I love the name Finn. It's on the list I hope to have a reason to use soon. Would that be it or would it be short for something more formal?

[Lorraine]

You never know - maybe #7 will be the princessy one?

[mijk]

it must be ther birthday My 7th january 2005 girl asked a telescope for sinterklaas, a transformer two superhero dolls a superheroutfit, a hotwheelset and a toolset.

SHe does however loves her skirts.. She is so a modern woman!

And Thrilled to see one of my names on the list!!!!

Mijk

[three minute palaver]

I had the same thought as Lorraine. Maybe LN7 will be the princess, pink tulle, fairy one in the house?

also, wanted to add Finn is actually short for either Finbar or Finnegan or Finley I think.But it is a stand alone name. I also like Flynn a lot. I'm still for Leo but I do like the F names quite a bit. Flynn Albertyn looks good to me.

[Tisha]

I have 2 daughters, one girly girl and one not.

One who wants to dress in pink and watch High School Musical all day.

And one who doesn't care what she wears and digs in the garden and swings on the washing line.

:D

[Wobs]

Kate is a gem! She is going to teach you such a lot - wait and see!

[illahee]

you don't do middle names, do you? that made it easier for us: DH decided the japanese names, i decided the american (english) ones....

[Kristin]

Kate and Adam sound absolutely fabulous. And, I know any child you have will be fabulous.

[vr]

"Although, one of each would have been nice, a girl, a boy and a Kate". you are so damn funny! :-)
and I would love to have a kate too.

[cooler*doula]

On the name front, as a fellow hopeless secularist, I under stand your concerns with Noah... But you do remember that Adam is a fairly prominent biblical character too, yes?
LOL
Good luck. Names are hard.

[cooler*doula]

On the name front, as a fellow hopeless secularist, I understand your concerns with Noah... But you do remember that Adam is a fairly prominent biblical character too, yes?
LOL
Good luck. Names are hard.

[Stefanie]

I don't know who told you that nonsense - my 7 yr old boy is never leaving his mother! LOL I have one of each - my boy is the sweeter of the 2. But, then my dd is 12 and sweet doesn't quite get it ATM!

PS: I still like Noah the best!

[Luann]

Men are a pain right in the ass. Give him 2 choices. That's it. Or you'll be going round and round til LN7 is 3.

I have a boy that begs to be a girl like mommy. (he's 3.5) A girly girl that will ONLY wear the pink socks (she is 2.5). And another boy that is ALL boy (at 16 months). They are all VERY high maintenence children in their own way. But I have found the boys are so much easier and am hoping for another if this one sticks around even though it would even things out to have another girl.

[wyliekat]

I just went shopping for some xmas gifts for Rosebud. She's getting hot wheels for Christmas. Come to think of it, I don't think any of her gifts are "girly".

However, my stepdaughter will be getting a number of highly girly things. It's interesting to adapt my mentality from one to the other. And as much as I'm not a girly-girl, either, I do delight in pleasing Juniper with girly things.

It's not so tough. I guess it's because I don't have expectations about how either one *should* be. It never occurs to me to "genderize" their likes and dislikes at the time I'm planning gifts. It's only afterwards that it hits me.

[Hannah]

I thought I would be disappointed at not having a girl, but I am actually quite relieved. I'm not a girly girl myself. Make-up only when necessary. I like clothes and shoes, but I don't shop for them very often. So when we found out we were having a second boy, I was over the moon. No prom dresses, no bras, no maxi pads, no boyfriend drama. Guess who was upset...my husband...haha! He swore up and down that he was incapable of impregnating me with a girl, that he only had male sperm, and now he's sad that he may never have a girl.

So be thankful for your boys and your Kate...hehe!

[Bethany]

"Rather annoying that I have to consult my husband on this issue, slows up the decision making process considerably."

LMAO!!! I can't tell you how many times a week I say that to myself!!

Good luck with the naming process and keep us posted!

[Maggie]

I kind of wanted a boy this time (this will be my husband's fourth daughter, my second), but am surprised to find myself relieved it's a girl. We just are happy with what we get, I think? Although I do have four sisters and think girls are terrible pains in the ass! I'm not a girly-girl AT ALL (or any of my sisters), but find myself encouraging my 2.5 year old daughter to play with dolls (she's not girly yet). I've often wondered if the absence of dolls in my childhood might have something to do with the very late entrance of my desire to have children at all, which naturally complicated everything quite a bit.

[El]

A girl, a boy, and a kate -- I love that. I love how relaxed you are in terms of honoring who they are. (We tend to be a gender non-normative family, ourselves).

Oliver. Has Oliver been suggested? I think Adam, Kate and Oliver flows quite nicely.

[Lesley Watt]

I'm with you on this post. I like Barbies when I was younger but other than that I've never been a girly girl. I don't like wearing make up, don't like getting dressed up and the music I listen to has always been more male type rock. In fact when I lived with 2 flatmates that were girly girls they really annoyed me.

So like you I would say when the time comes I would be more of a boy mum... I'm not sure exactly how I would handle a really girly girl. But then they might just take after me if I did have one ;)

[Felicity]

I think it really comes down to our parenting. Children stay close to parents they love and respect. An older lady once told me that my sons will look after me, and my daughter will always be my best friend.. so long as Im a good Mum! I see my husbands family, and they are close.. 2 brothers. But they dont have any particular attachment to their Mother.. never ring her and can go months without seeing their parents. I know the love is there, but its so different to my sister and I, and our parents. (My parents died in 1995.) We were SO close.. in each others pockets close! I spoke to Mumma up to 3 times a day, saw her every day, and loved her.. wow, I loved her!

So now I do my best to be the best Mum I can.. not always successful, but I try, and hopefully all my children will want to stay by me all my life; love me, share grandchildren with me and need me still.

My Boy/girl Twins (Almost 8 now) were the opposite of Kate and Adam! Cecilia has always been 'girly'.. like me! Princesses and pink, tiaras, Barbies and LOTS of cuddly soft toys.. white or pink preferred! She will only wear skirts or dresses, but she is brave, tough and wild! Climbs tree's, plays computer games like a champ, and does all the 'boy' stuff very well. Ned spent his early childhood playing 'My little pony' and dressing up in TuTu's! But he was also 'all boy'.. cars, dinosaurs and castles! I suppose Ive seen them blur the edges alot, its getting less now with the influence of school. Ned wont 'touch' girls stuff at all, unless he has promised Cecilia to 'Do anything you want me to' in which case its SO funny to see him playing 'Littlest Pet Shop'! (He does a great job, too!) But Cecilia is very retro.. she plays equally with boys and girls, and loves all toys.

Children are all different, and the great thing about Boy/Girl Twins is that your children are exposed to both sides. :)

You never know, your Baby Boy might be your Girly Girl. Oscar, my (almost) 3 year old, loves pink best, LOVES Cecilia's Ballet TuTu's and wears tiara's all the time! His favourite show is Dora, and he is always trying to wear my purfume. :)

[Shannon M.]

With that sexy hair and those great boobs -- what do you mean you're not a girly girl?!! :)

My daughter is also not very girly. She adores dinosaurs and eschews fluffy dress-up clothes. She does, however, have a flair for the dramatic.

[Lisa]

I never realized how un-girly I really am until I got engaged last summer. Now that I'm planning my wedding, I realize that 99.9% of the wedding paraphernalia for sale is "princess-y" and totally not my style at all. Also, the whole brides being obsessed with the "colors" of the wedding, and being obsessed over every little detail? I don't get that at all either.

[Pamela]

We are two girls and a boy, and it is the boy that has stayed closest to our mom. Although we area all extremelly close.

My sister and I have always joked that if we have girly girls we are going to have some serious problems. Neither of us, or our mom are girly - at all!

[Lauren]

Hi Tertia,

Well I am one that writes Thank you cards but I don't expect it from the ones I give out. Just something that is important to me.

One thing I do is on a weekend we are staying in side. I take a large piece of paper and tear/cut it into smaller pieces which I fold and then let the kids have at it with either crayons or water colors decorating each card. Those are the birthday cards and it has saved me a pretty penny not buying those suckers that everyone throws out anyways. I saw it with one of the gifts the kids got a year ago and thought it was an awesome idea. We make in bulk so I just pull from the pile for an upcoming party and write in crayon a message to the birthday recipient and if my daughter wants to she colors it some more (actually she won't leave any white space....)

I think it is a bit crazy all the birthday prep. I used the free card invites I got from the party destination this last time and felt fine about it. Some people have more time and creativity then I have.