My
children are (almost) four years old, and I am completely clueless as to how
play dates are supposed to happen.
The only ‘play
dates’ we have ever had have either been with family (cousins) or with the
neighbours. And if I am not with them,
my mom is.
So, when
a brother and sister recently joined Adam and Kate’s school, and both my kids
seemed to like one of the siblings, they seemed like the perfect kids to come
over for a play date. We spotted them
out recently and I asked the mother whether they would like to come over for a
play during the holidays. She is newly single and has recently relocated to
Cape Town after a long absence. I like her, and the kids liked her kids –
perfect. I had visions of us sipping
tea, eating cake and chatting up a storm while our kids played beautifully
together.
We have
been VERY excited for the play date. Every morning this week, the kids wake up
asking if (boy) and (girl) are coming to play. Today was the day! We went to the shop and bought chocolate
cupcakes for the kids and mini lemon meringue tarts for the moms. I tidied up, made the kids put on underwear
and even made a reasonable effort with my appearance (i.e. my shorts and T
shirt kind of matched).
Well,
blow me down with a feather if the mother didn’t breeze in, drop her kids off
and breeze out saying she would be back in an hour and a half to collect them*.
I was gob smacked. What about our date?
What about our tea?
I called
Sister Mel to tell her about it and Sister Mel said it is normal, that is what
is supposed to happen at play dates. I
told her perhaps because my kids are twins and have each other that we have
never been on a play date, we just aren’t used to how they are supposed to
work. She said, ‘no, it is because you and Marko are antisocial fartbags and your
poor kids have to suffer as a result’. Very
rude if you ask me. But what about the
mini lemon meringue tarts, I asked. Just
bloody eat them yourself you nerd, she replied. I never really liked Sister Mel
much, no respect.
I can’t
imagine dropping my kids off at a play date and just leaving them there. Maybe
after I had thoroughly inspected the premises, three times over, and run a background
check on the parents and their direct relations. Sister Mel says I am an asshole. She might
have a point.
The play
date is going well’ish. Kate and (girl) are playing quite nicely. For the first
time ever, Kate is playing with dolls because the other little girl is clearly
more in the normal girl mode and wanted to play moms and babies. Kate is only
too pleased to have someone to play with, that she is forgoing her usual
dinosaurs, monsters and skeletons and playing with the dolls that have been
gathering dust since two Christmases ago.
Adam is
being a slightly less hospitable host. He
has cried twice already, once because (boy) wouldn’t ride bikes with him and
then because (boy) won the race and he didn’t. I am thinking (boy) is not going to be terribly keen on coming back.
Well, I’ve
learnt something today. Apparently at four and six years old it is ok to drop
your kids off for a play date unaccompanied. Apparently most parents are considerably less
uptight and more social than I am. This
should not surprise me, I suppose.
Well, I am
off to have a mini lemon meringue tart. On my own.
* To be fair, she did ask if it was ok. She had some things to do.
Edited to add: She has just been to pick up the kids and has invited us (including me!) over to their place next week. We have a social life, YAY!!
Another edit: I don't think she was wrong, at all. Any more than I would be wrong to want to stay at a play date, I was just surprised that's all. Thinking about it some more, it actually makes sense. There aren't many opportunities for any mom to have some time off, especially a single mom! What I have learnt from your comments is that this seems to be the norm in Europe, and this mom and kids are from Europe. So I guess its a cultural thing and I am more like the uptight Americans than I thought *grin*