You know
what the one good thing about being pregnant 7 times? You get really good use out of your pregnancy
books.
I had
nothing to read last night, so I peered into my book cupboard and there I saw “Your
pregnancy over 35”. Hahaha! I remember
when I bought that book (pregnancy number 2 I think), I was still under 35 but
it was cheap and on sale and you know me, never one to miss a bargain. And here I am, pregnant over 40 and still
reading the bloody book. Slow learner.
In the infertile
world, your period / monthlies / whatever you call it, is a big thing. When you are doing treatment you hope like
hell it stays away, but when you want to start treatment, you pray for it to
arrive so that you can begin already. There is one sure fire way of getting your period to start – where your
best new underwear and / or white pants. Works every time.
Well, I’ve
discovered a possible way to get pregnant – after years of agonizing and going
back and forth in your mind whether you should or should not think about
another child, make up your mind not to and donate every single last item of
baby stuff, including all the big ticket items and any / all maternity
clothes to charity. I have not a thing
left. Not even a bib.
I also
have nothing to wear as I am eating with an enthusiasm that borders on
alarming. In my non-pregnant state, I am
quite good at eating well, but pregnancy is a time to let it all hang out, so
to speak. It is all literally hanging out at the moment, which is not a very
good look at all.
By the
way – for those who have been fortunate to get pregnant, how soon did you start
showing? Two days after conception? Four days? I look six months pregnant, and I am not even joking. The olive has grown to the size of a giant
pumpkin. V v attractive.
I
obviously can’t buy any maternity clothes because that would be foolish in the
extreme and terribly jinxy so I suffer forth in my husband’s baggy T shirts and
roomy shorts. Ok, I did buy one
maternity top, but it was REDUCED BY SEVENTY PERCENT!!!! It would have been stupid and childish not to
buy it. It is still in the bag, with the receipt in case, you know. Will take it out after the CVS.
Which by
the way, is now happening on Tuesday the 25th Nov. The FISH results should take 3-5 days to come
through, so hopefully by that Friday. Or
else the weekend is going to be horribly long.
BTW, my birthday
is the day after the CVS. Guess I wont
be going out dancing for my birthday.
That's it really, I think I am going to have a little snack. Chat soon xxx
PS I am
feeling quite at peace with my decision re the CVS etc. The debate was excellent and very
interesting. I am very fond of you all.
PPS I
think I will ask them to tie my tubes when they do the C section*. Because I clearly can not be trusted when it
comes to either making babies, or preventing them from happening in the first
place. Thanks Orange for the suggestion.
*How's that for positive thinking! Are you proud of me!!
i think its about time we see this preggy belly of yours... i think a photo is in order :)
Posted by: charne | 10 November 2008 at 12:01 PM
I have been trying and praying so long to fall pregnant that I am scared to say anything that remotely makes it sound as if I am ungrateful (bratty) about my pregnancy.
That said, this whole weight gain thing does get me down. It seems as if I am surrounded by all these tiny little pregnant fairies and I am a giant blob. Most of the girls I work with did not START showing until 20 weeks or LATER! At 13 weeks I had to buy new pants as my normal ones were hurting me.
I am now just over 25 weeks and should have gained about 8kg. But yours truelly has already gained 12! Guess that max gain of 15kg's will be blown soon.
And the "sad" part is that I avoid junk and sweets and eat only healthy food, veg and fruit...
SO don't feel bad about our olive. I look like the Oros man!
xxx
Posted by: Lena | 10 November 2008 at 12:02 PM
We need a photo of said giant pumkin!
Posted by: Kate | 10 November 2008 at 12:12 PM
Took me about 2.5 seconds after discovering I was an hour pregnant to start showing with Jonah. Terrible muriel.
And I too did the tube-tying thing with the c-section - piece o' cake. And Marko will owe you big time because you spared him the so-called agony of a vasectomy.
Posted by: Janine | 10 November 2008 at 12:37 PM
I didnt really show until about 6months... Ok,be jealous now... NAWWWT.I did however gain about 20kg in the last 3months and approximately 30kg in total
Good luck with the cvs tomorrow-will be sending positive thoughts& holding thumbs
Posted by: Aadila | 10 November 2008 at 12:41 PM
Oh PLEASE can we see pictures - got to live vicariously through you.
BTW< I saw an article of you in the Woman and Home - very nice!!!!
Posted by: Leigh from 123 blog | 10 November 2008 at 01:05 PM
I am lucky that I do not show too much. I could still wear jeans until about 25 weeks. Had small tummy hanging over jeans. After that I got seriously fat. Both pregnancies I mostly had a fat ass to show for it. First pregnancy picked up 12kg, 2nd one picked up 14kg. I am still trying to lose the weight from the 2nd one. My ass just won't disappear.
I wish you well for the journey ahead. All the best for your CVS and other testing.
Posted by: Julia | 10 November 2008 at 01:14 PM
Proud of you? Mate, you have no idea!
You are like the EverReady Bunny, you keep yourself so busy helping others and you still find time to write to us and keep us updated!
It doesn't surprise me at all that you have given your baby things away, you are a very generous person.
Eat up all you want, sounds like you are feeling better and that's all I care about.
Posted by: serina | 10 November 2008 at 01:16 PM
I'm still in shock that you got pregnant again! I'm pulling for you big time. Good luck with the CVS. I tried the giving away all maternity clothes and baby stuff. It didn't work for me. If this IVF does work, I hope everyone in the family knows I need another baby shower, because it's them I gave all my stuff to. They've all been reproducing like rabbits.
And if I end up having a C-section, I will get my tubes tied too. I don't trust my body to not get pregnant when I don't want to either.
Posted by: Heather | 10 November 2008 at 02:55 PM
Ok Tertia...we MUST have belly pics.
And, I second everything Serina said. You rock Tertia.
Posted by: Kristin | 10 November 2008 at 03:04 PM
Very proud of you. Your next book must be named "The Little Uterus That Could".
Posted by: Liv | 10 November 2008 at 03:17 PM
Why not give us weekly updates on Youtube (VBlog)?
Posted by: Lena | 10 November 2008 at 03:17 PM
thank goodness you bought those crocs. I don't think anything else could complete those outfits you've described.
Posted by: Leanne | 10 November 2008 at 04:25 PM
The problem with the tube-tie thing after the c-section is that it has a higher failure rate, for some reason, of the tube-tie thing done at another time. Plus, the tube-tie thing has a much higher failure rate (and is MUCH more medically invasive) than having one's partner get his man-part snipped.
I had to tell my boss when I was only 10 weeks pregnant the third time (earlier than I would have liked to), because it was so obvious -- I looked so preg that people were asking me when I was due. In fact, I looked so preg that strangers on the street were asking me. Then again, I look 3-4 months preg after a full meal NOW. So add a real pregnancy to that, and I looked 6 months almost immediately.
Posted by: L. | 10 November 2008 at 05:06 PM
I have to say - I am no fairy when I am pregnant! Think beached whale, and you'll vaguely get how I felt. I didn't show for ages, well, not in the tummy anyway! With my daughter, my 2nd pregnancy, I was CONVINCED the baby was growing in my ass for the 1st 5 months!!!
Yip - me and pregnant = fatter, nastier and spottier every day... now THAT is terrible muriel!
Posted by: kirstyphysio | 10 November 2008 at 05:25 PM
I guess 'when you start showing' is one of those milestones I'd write in my pregnancy journal if I had such a thing. Thanks for making me stop to calculate- I'm now 19.5 weeks and I'd say I started showing at 18 weeks. Though I could just look like I ate too much cheesecake!
Posted by: Terri | 10 November 2008 at 05:30 PM
I showed by 10 weeks with my 3rd pregnacy (m/c 1st.) Your CVS is on my birthday - I will be keeping everying crossed for you!
Posted by: Stefanie | 10 November 2008 at 05:36 PM
I am 7.5 weeks along with my 3rd and cannot button any of my pants. Am huge but I think it's a combination of bloating and eating constantly to try to stave off horrible nausea.
Posted by: cath | 10 November 2008 at 05:41 PM
I'm thinking positive for you too! In light of that, may I ask one question?....
Why do you assume you will have a C-section? This is NOT a judgment, BTW. I'm honestly curious.
I'm so pleased that you have an appetite, and dying (like everyone else) to see belly pics. :)
Posted by: Tine | 10 November 2008 at 06:11 PM
How amazing - I got pregnant with #3 about 10 minutes after I decided I would absolutly NOT have another child. Fortunatly I hadn't had time to get rid of the baby things. I started showing about 2 weeks later. Your body just "knows" or something.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | 10 November 2008 at 07:06 PM
I am 11 weeks today and already wearing maternity jeans with the help of a Bella band. My mother told me I looked 4 months pregnant. Now, granted, this is my second pregnancy and I'm pregnant with twins, but still! I hear you pop a lot quicker your second time around.
Posted by: Rebecca | 10 November 2008 at 07:35 PM
Hi Tertia,
I liaised with you at Natural & Organic a few years back. I've been in contact since then only through Catherine Luckhoff, my business partner, but have been following your blog for awhile.
Just wanted to say how incredible it is that you have gone from wondering if you would ever have a child to considering how you wouldn't have another one. My sister-in-law died last week leaving behind a beautiful (and incredibly intelligent) daughter named Claudia.
She had five miscarriages in six years, possibly due to the cancer that no-one knew was there.
Your blog is one that I read daily, not due to my desire to have a child, but due to the communication that you put out there to every woman.
Enjoy your pregnancy and good luck with your decisions. On that note, please could you let me know what FISH is?
Nicole Capper
Posted by: Nicole Capper | 10 November 2008 at 07:36 PM
Eat all your want, you need it. :) I think someone mentioned belly photo? Maybe one after CVS?
I gained 60 lbs with my 1st, the fact that he was a 10-lb baby probably contributed to that much weight gain. And I did naturally. Now I think about, I don't know how I did it. *shudder* :)
Posted by: Liz | 10 November 2008 at 09:05 PM
Good luck. And happy birthday!!!!
Posted by: victoria | 10 November 2008 at 09:07 PM
by start showing do you mean just looking a little chubby or actually pregnant-- because there is a difference--- I prob. started to "show" around 12 weeks-- but didn't actually look pregnant before say 18 weeks or so-- so for a few months I just looked like i'd eaten a few too many twinkies--
Posted by: catherine illian | 10 November 2008 at 09:31 PM
Ack. I looked pregnant 2 days after starting IVF drugs. Very disgusting having to consider buying maternity clothes when doing IVF because they're kindest to your poor abused tummy with their soft stretchy waist-bands. Very disgusting indeed. I made my poor abused tummy suffer.
Posted by: Simonne | 10 November 2008 at 09:32 PM
darling girls, please stop calling yourselves names just because your bodies are transforming so much. all that extra stuff is cushioning those little people you are nurturing and cherishing, and your placenta is working hard out to make sure they are safe. you might not look like super models, but oh my, you are mothers. don't hide yourselves in dull colours and boring clothes, make the most of this time. its precious and priceless. when you are 80 or 90, i bet you won't be lamenting the shape or size of your body in earlier years, because it really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things.
tertia, you are beautiful - whatever shape your body and face are in. your spirit shines out from your eyes and face, and we DON'T CARE about anything else. no one reads this blog because of what you look like (except really dodgy types wanting a boob flash who should be ashamed of themselves), we read it because of how it makes us feel and think and laugh and cry. we read it because of the person you are, not the physical type you are.
this blog, and all the stories it invites is a source of so much inspiration - and so much hope. WHO CARES ABOUT A LITTLE BODY MORPHING? BIG BLOODY DEAL! you've got a baby/babies on board!!!
i kept so much stuff from my first lot of kids, so as soon as i knew i was pregnant (21 years after the last one), i got the frilly dresses and woollies etc out and hung them in Amelia's wardrobe in anal-type order. she wore many of the clothes ALL of her big sisters wore, even her big sister Emily who died 23 years before. amazing. i thought i was a sentimental twat holding on to those things, but what hope it restored in me seeing a new little person getting some use from them. they hang there still even tho she has grown out of most of them, reminding me of the joy each child has brought me, even those who didn't make it to the light.
i looked like a large melting marshmallow before i even knew i was pregnant this time around, blaming it on 46 year old hormones and a late late period. i was in maternity trousers before i was 5 weeks. my body looks a little more tired now esp after a caesar and 15 months of hard-core breastfeeding, but they are hard won changes.
i worked so hard to get Amelia, and i have a few extra scars and bags. but i am so proud of my body for doing it.
the chance to have another gorgeous baby at a time when i thought i should be thinking about grandchildren - at a time when i thought i was on the cusp of menopause has made me so much more appreciative of my body and all its quirks and oddities.
mummies to be - love your bodies, love the curves and bumps and squidgy bits, they represent life, and hope, and dignity and strength. they belong to womanhood, and they are not to be ashamed of.
Posted by: Ruth | 10 November 2008 at 10:07 PM
Since I have a grand total of 8 inches of torso, measured from the bottom of my breast bone to the top of my pubic bone in my non-pregnant state, I started showing immediate with this second pregnancy. I was in my faithful maternity jeans by week six and they felt heavenly. I saw no point in ramming myself into my regular pants. Besides, any added pressure on my abdomen only seemed to make the near constant nausea worse.
I hope all goes well with the CVS. Lucky number seven seems to be very lucky indeed!
Posted by: Hannah | 10 November 2008 at 10:44 PM
I am almost 15 weeks pregnant with my second child. I started to not fit into my regular jeans when I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was in maternity pants by the time I was 8 weeks along. And now? I look like I am 5 months. And I have only gained 2 pounds. It must be because I am short. Baby has no where to go except out! :) Good luck on the testing. I am waiting for my results now.
Posted by: Kim | 10 November 2008 at 11:05 PM
Oh Tertia am I ever pulling for you. And with my second, I started showing about 30 minutes after the intercourse that created the little surprise bundle of joy. And, for the record, I am kicking myself for not tying the tubes after my second C. We didn't start talking about it until well into the pregnancy (the brief Feel-Good trimester) and I just couldn't make the decision then. But now? I wish I would have...
Posted by: Sue | 11 November 2008 at 12:46 AM
Enjoy the eating!
Posted by: Anna | 11 November 2008 at 12:56 AM
Let's see... i hadn't expected number 3 at all, and i was pregnant about a minute after i gave away all my baby stuff (my baby was not even a year old, but i was really excited to get some space back, haha.)
I started outgrowing my clothes long before i was ready to accept that another baby was on the way. But then i just stopped growing bigger right before i gave birth last week, people were assuming that i was just announcing a new pregnancy, not that i was 9 months gone.
Posted by: Meg | 11 November 2008 at 01:42 AM
Having your tubes done after C-section is a very reasonable thing to do as you're lying open at the table anyway. But for me somehow it felt like forever. first the pulling and digging for bay one and to and placenta one and two and then more digging and messing around for these tubes, and then they had to stitch everything up again while I just wanted to have my babies... Good luck with everything!
Posted by: heleen | 11 November 2008 at 03:08 AM
Good girl that sound a bit more positive, put on teh top for goodness sake, why wait get all teh use you can out of it
Posted by: Linda | 11 November 2008 at 04:02 AM
I agree BELLY SHOT!
I am so glad this pregnancy is sticking :) At the risk of being hated by every infertile all my kids were surprises. Amusing to have YOU, Queen of Infertiles having an Ooops! pregnancy :) Apparently it can happen to almost anyone, heh.
Posted by: amy | 11 November 2008 at 04:24 AM
I am ten weeks with my first pregnancy to last past seven weeks. I am very short (5'2) and tend to hold any extra weight in my gut region. I can only wear one pair of my regular trousers and have moved on to some hand me down maternity clothes (too afraid to buy any yet) my belly is ridiculous for ten weeks. Im going to blame it on constipation and weak abs.
Posted by: pdxem | 11 November 2008 at 07:58 AM
I caried like a battle ship, and my daughter is doing the same. Go buy some lovely maternity kit - you deserve it!
I love you sound like your perky self!
Posted by: Coral | 11 November 2008 at 09:23 AM
I may be late but I think someone mentioned before the Bella Band. Brilliant idea! I started using it a few days ago and love it! I am 13 weeks today and even if I am not showing a pregnant belly (it is more of a very bloated belly), it is still uncomfortable to button my pants. Check this out and see if you can find something similar in SA http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001710F9C (the black one is prettier). You can leave your pants unbuttoned and use this band on top as a kind of elastic belt. The result: you can wait longer to use those maternity pants! (I am not planning on buying much maternity clothing so I will wait as much as possible)
Good luck with the CVS!!
Take care.
Posted by: Dana | 11 November 2008 at 05:09 PM
This was a very chipper post. Nice to read.
And I started looking fat almost immediately, but it took a while for me to "pop". I say this because, in my experience as a pregnant woman and from observing others, I can say with some authority that generally women don't start showing slowly - the pop. One day "vaguely fat", the next "clearly pregnant".
Or so my theory goes.
Posted by: Wyliekat | 11 November 2008 at 07:35 PM
In relation to your post asking what I would do in the situation of an atypical baby, I would say that it would depend on how serious the abnormality was. For example, my brother who is autistic also has 47 XYY - the chromosome abnormality has resulted in him being very tall and has also made his learning difficulties more severe due to being combined with autism. Despite this he is very healthy otherwise and seems to be happy most of the time so if it came that any future kids of mine had an extra sex chromosome I would be likely to continue with it.
On the other hand, if it was "incompatible with life" as you put it, I would be more likely to terminate because it would be unfair to continue with it if the child would die anyway. As for downs syndrome, that is a tough one. It would depend on the situation I think.
Overall my answer is again... a very personal choice.
Posted by: Lesley Watt | 12 November 2008 at 04:59 PM