So Close

Montessori Schooling – Assvice required!

At the beginning of the year, a friend of mine (no names mentioned – RENEE!!) offered to go to the preparatory school to find out more about putting our kids names on the waiting list for 2010. The particular preparatory school is a very good school and the kids will go there for two years before they start big school.

 

My friend (RENEE!) came back and said that there is no waiting list, we need not worry. Unfortunately my friend (RENEE!) went to the WRONG school. The school we want to get into has a long waiting list which I have only just put the kids name on.

 

I am thinking about breaking up with my friend (RENEE!).

 

I am now busy exploring various options (bribing my way in / offering to buy playground equipment / crying and making a scene in the office) and one of the options that has come up is an alternative school which looks really nice.

 

It is a Montessori school and I know very little about how they operate. I have no idea whether this type of school would suit my kids. Montessori seems quite granola, and I am the least granola person around. We add MSG to our fruit to make it taste better here. Cheese chips are considered a food group and ketchup is the only vegetable serving for the day. Will we fit in? Will a Montessori school suit a sensitive child like Adam and a bossy child like Kate?

 

I would appreciate any insights or opinions on Montessori schooling. Share!

Edited to add - this is the school I am talking about - they seem really nice.

Would we have believed it if they had told us?

I have just read the sweetest thing, I am sitting here with a big smile on my face.  As you might know, I also blog at Parent24.  It is a small but growing blog community and one of the sweet ladies on the list is pregnant with her first child.  She wrote a post yesterday about what she plans to do with her maternity leave:

"Despite what my sisters have told me about having a child and the implications that it will have on my personal time, I envisage my four months of maternity leave as just that - a time to turn over a new leaf.

.....as much as I am looking forward to nurturing my newborn baby, I am also looking forward to the the downtime "in between her naps" where I plan to do the following:

- Complete my degree
- Master the keyboard (I have purchased a self-teach book in preparation)
- Learn how to play guitar
- Start a herb Garden
- Take up art lessons and do some painting
- Tan and start a home gymming program to restore my body to it's former shape
- Paint my toenails and wax biweekly
- Writing ( I will excite my blog fanbase of 2 people, with an exciting new blog daily)
- Start a photography portfolio "

The poor, poor woman.  I am not sure whether to laugh or cry for her. 

I remember when my kids were born, no matter how many books I had read, nothing had prepared me for the total onslaught of newborns.  I turned to all my friends and said "why didn't you tell me it was going to be like this" and they replied, "would you have believed us if we did tell you?"

And I suppose not.  How do you prepare someone for those first few weeks?  How can you adequately describe what it is like?  Four years down the line, and I am only now recovering from it.

I lay in bed last night and allowed myself to think about the possibility that this pregnancy could actually result in a real, live baby and I shuddered to myself as I recalled the first few weeks and months of when Kate and Adam were little. I know it is easier the second time, and certainly one baby has to be easier than two, but still.....shudder. 

How do you even begin to describe what it is like, or do we let the poor dears find out for themselves.  Would they believe us if we told them anyway?

Calling all South African Bloggers

24.com launches SA blog survey

What is intended to be the most comprehensive  survey of South Africa's blogger community has been launched today by 24.com, in association with blog  aggregators Afrigator.com  and Amatomu.com and online DVD rental company PushPlay.co.za. The goal is to demonstrate the diversity and  sophistication of South Africa's portion of the global  blogosphere.

"South Africa is the continent's largest blogging community, yet very little is known about the individuals who blog and what inspires them to share their thoughts, observations and experiences with the world," says Matthew Buckland, GM of online publishing and social media at 24.com.

"Although African bloggers make up less than one percent of the global blogosphere, we have a vibrant local online community, with some exciting growth in the number of those contributing and reading blogs."

For those  who complete the survey, Speak Up!, at http://blogs.24.com/blogsurvey/start.htm, three lucky participants will stand the chance to have their blog profiled on the 24.com network, as well as be eligible for one of three prizes offered by PushPlay. All South African-based bloggers are welcome to participate.

"Bloggers are a broad range of people from different walks of life and a wide spectrum of opinions, interests and experiences. With this survey, we hope to get a good snapshot of how bloggers make the 'net work for them," adds Buckland.

The highly collaborative survey was developed with input from luminaries across the local blogosphere, including Arthur Goldstuck, Vincent Maher, Nic Haralambos, Mike Stopforth, Charl Norman, Justin Hartman, Rob Stokes and Tertia Albertyn.

The deadline to complete the survey is 23.59pm on 7 November  2008.

Source: Bizcommunity.com

 

Is this a battle I should pick?

It would appear that the testing of boundaries doesn’t stop at age 3 and ¾ ‘s. I have a sneaking suspicion it doesn’t stop any time soon either.

 

I understand how frustrating it must be to be almost four years old. And I am not the type of parent who likes to ‘break the will of the child’, so it is a fine line I walk between being a pushover and forcibly imposing my will over my child.

 

I do believe in picking my battles and I like to give my children some feeling of control over their own lives. But I also realize I am a softie and sometimes as a parent, you do need to impose your will over the will of your child.

 

So, let me give you an example and you tell me what I should have done.

 

We were about to go to granny’s house and everyone was making a wee before we left. Adam went into the sweet cupboard and came into the bathroom with a roll of sweets. It was four pm and there was no ways he was having any sweets. So I told him no sweets, only after supper time. So he whinged and whined and sulked, but I was resolute. No sweets until after supper. I took the sweets back from him and walked to the kitchen to put them back.

 

I then said “come on everybody, let’s get in the car and go to Mimi’s house”. Come on Adam! ADAM! Hurry up. To which he replies “I can’t, you come here and fetch me.”

 

Come along Adam, don’t be silly, hurry up.

I can’t, you come here.

Adam! Come here!

Come here and hold my hand and walk with me.

 

Now, he is clearly pushing at my buttons because I said he can’t have sweets. I can either MAKE him come to me, or I can give in, walk to the bathroom, hold his hand and let him walk next to me to the car.

 

I walked to the bathroom. I gave in. I did so, and have done so in similar circumstances, for a few reasons. Firstly, I understand he is frustrated with me, and he wants to save face. Secondly, it is a battle I don’t need to pick. The sweets yes, the walking to him, not.

 

But there is a part of me that worries that these pushing at the boundaries will backfire on me one day. As I said before, I am not the type of parent that believes in breaking the will and ruling by fear. I realize that I am the parent and as such I have to discipline, guide and lead my child, but I hope I can do with love and respect, and by allowing the child to feel a little in control of their own world. It is a constant battle I have within myself – do I need to be more strict, or is it ok to parent the way I do.

 

What do you think? Do you think I should have made him come to me? Or is it ok to let them win some of the battles?

 

I’ll do a poll for the shy types.

How can you NOT know?

You here stories about women who are 6, 7, 8 months pregnant and who do not know they are knocked up.  I find that mind boggling.  I am amazed that anyone can be pregnant and not know.  Besides the obviously belly, what about all those other pregnancy ailments?

If I didn't know I was pregnant, I would think there was something Seriously Wrong with me.  What about the blocked nose and the nose bleeds?  Sensitive gums? The total change in taste? The nausea? The food aversions?  The puking?  The grumpiness?  How can you not know??

I am amazed that some people don't get any of that.  It's like I'm allergic to being pregnant.  The minute I get knocked up, I collapse into a heap of patheticness.  You know how some people glow and become even more beautiful when they are pregnant?  Yeah, that's not me. 

Not that I'm complaining of course! Oh no, not me. I'm happy happy happy here in the corner.  No, that look is not because I am constipated (as well), it is a GRIN. I AM GRINNING, SEE!  HAPPY!

I think I will go lie down for a bit. 

Emergency LBC*

*For those who weren’t here four years ago: LBC = Live Baby Check and DBTs = Dead Baby Thoughts. For those of you who were around four years ago, déjà vu.

 

In the ideal world, you get pregnant, you are happy and then nine months later you have a baby. You go for a few scans through out your pregnancy, and you sail through happy skippy.

 

In my world, you don’t get pregnant, then you don’t get pregnant some more. Then you get pregnant and it dies. And then you get pregnant and it dies some more. Rinse and repeat x6. You are only happy when that baby is born. Healthy. Not premature. You try and last two weeks between scans, but inevitably the DBTs sneak in until you are convinced all is lost and the only way to stay sane is to have regular (WEEKLY) LBCs.

 

Because I am supposed to be all Zen about this pregnancy and not really care whether it works out or not (YEAH RIGHT), I thought I should do a LBC only every second week. Because I am so calm this time. Oh, forgive me while I laugh hysterically.

 

It has been 8 days since my last scan and by this morning the DBTs were threatening to consume me. I called my wonderful new gynae and said I need to come in for a LBC, I’ll be super quick, I’ll even take my pants off in the car on the way there. I’ll run in, buck naked, and scan myself if the good doctor is busy with someone else. Divine Doctor said come in now. I was there in five minutes. All well. Live Baby, beating heart, growing nicely.

 

I immediately made weekly appointments. I just can’t do it. I thought I could last two weeks, but I can’t. The longest I can last without going totally insane is 7 days. And yes, I will get a Doppler, but I think it only works after 12 weeks, right? Weekly LBCs will have to suffice till then.

 

This will be my last pregnancy, ever. I can’t do this again.

A little too much honesty

One of the fellow moms at my kids school, who also happens to be my neighbour and friend, kindly offered to take the school pics this year for a  ridiculously cheap rate. She is really talented and has just gone into professional photography full time. I absolutely loved the pics she took, but apparently not all the mothers felt that way.

 

We were standing outside the school and my friend asked one of the mom’s whether she liked the pics and the woman replied quite matter of factly, “No, not really”. Then another mom piped up about not really liking the pics either.

 

OMG! I wanted to die for my friend. How do you NOT take that kind of feedback personally????

 

Besides the fact that we were getting it for a really good rate etc etc, I am just not sure that kind of ‘honesty’ is warranted. What do you think? Should you tell it like it is, or should you spare someone’s feelings?

 

I wanted to say that I could never, ever be a photographer or artist or something creative like that, because I would take that kind of criticism so personally, but then I remember my first (and only) bad book review. Instead of thinking “oh well, can’t please all the people all the time”, the review really stung. I was mortified. How could they not like my book? It obviously means that they hate me and everything I stand for ;-) Doesn’t matter that 99% of the other reviews were very favourable, it is that one bad review that seems to speak the loudest. People are silly, aren’t we?

 

What do you think? On the one hand I think that honesty is good and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but on the other hand I am thinking “jeez Louise, a little less honesty might have been a better approach”.  How do you creative types handle negative feedback? Do you take it a little personally, or do you just brush it off?  Your hides must be tougher than mine.

Edited to add:  The two moms in question did say they preferred a more "natural" look, which I thought was really odd because the 'traditional' school pics are very unnatural looking in my opinion and all Renee's shots were quite natural and real.  But I guess each to their own.  Oh, and their kids are really gorgeous, so its not that ;-)

 

Look, no matter what the other moms thought, I LOVED the pics you took and I think you did a sterling job. THANKS my friend xxx

(more pics on Flicker)

No news is good news

Not much to report this side. Which is good I suppose. Still grumpy, still nauseous. Which is good. I have a whole week to go before my next scan and I am constantly fighting the DBTs*. I don’t know where I was going with that whole “I can last two weeks” thing. V childish. So, that’s my boring update. Sorry, I should hopefully get my personality back soon. Hopefully.

 

*Dead baby thoughts

Grumpiness causes disequilibrium

What would you do if we were friends / coworkers / lovers / partners etc, and I told you, in a rather matter of fact manner, that I was feeling grumpy today.

 

Would you accept it at face value and carry on with your life, or would it work at you like a stone in a shoe?

 

I tell you what I would do…. I would say “oh, I’m sorry, I also sometimes get like that. Let me know if there is anything I can do, but otherwise I am going to leave you alone until you are feeling better”.

 

Simple. That’s what I want. 

 

But to some people, me being grumpy is like a single, eligible person in one’s social circle. It just doesn’t feel right, and you just can’t help yourself…before long you are trying to ‘fix’ it by playing matchmaker and arranging blind dates.

 

When I am in a bad mood, I want to be left alone. Just for a bit and I almost always snap out of it on my own after a while. I don’t hover around when I am grumpy like a cloud of doom, I don’t snap, I just want to be left alone. 

 

And because I am not good at pretending, I like to tell people around me so that they don’t think I am being rude, or that they have done anything wrong. So I say, “I don’t know why, but I am in a grumpy mood today. It is not anything you’ve done or anything any one else has done*, I am just in a bad mood”

 

Simple, right? Wrong.

 

For some people, no names mentioned (Rose! Marko!), this is like a red flag to a bull. The first thing they say is “I hope it isn’t because of me”. AAARRGGHHHH!!! Not everything has to be about YOU. I am just grumpy.

 

Then they either try to cheer me up (Rose) or scratch around to discover the cause for my bad mood (Marko), or even worse, pick a fight so that I have a real reason to be in a bad mood (again, Marko).

 

What is it that makes people so uncomfortable about the fact that someone could be in a bad mood ‘just because’?

 

I know we’ve spoken about this before, but I need to talk about it again. Explain to me why if I tell you I am in a grumpy mood you can’t just accept that and leave me alone?  Would you prefer it if I didn’t say anything? I hate that. I hate wondering what is wrong with someone if they just keep quiet. Marko does that. He will have off days and say nothing the whole day. Instead of saying “I am feeling grumpy / anxious / tired / sad / sick / whatever”, he says nothing.  I must prefer my way. Call it for what it is, leave it alone and it will all come right after a while.

 

* I add the bit about ITS NOT BECAUSE OF YOU to try prevent the ‘I hope it isn’t me’ thing, but it seldom has any effect.

Zofran: almost like Viagra

Zofran is to pregnant women what Viagra is to horny old men:  It does not solve all your problems, but it certainly helps you function a lot better than without it.