Highly Addictive Personality

I am not sure whether this leans more towards my OCD tendencies, or the highly addictive side of my personality, but I always do every thing intensely and in excess. It must be exhausting being my friend / mother / sister / husband / child. It is exhausting being me sometimes.

When we all did casual drugs, I always had to have MORE, get MORE wasted. When I went to gym (a distant memory), I got totally hooked and went for hours a day, sometimes even twice a day. When we were younger, I always ate all my sweets up at once. Gobble gobble gone. Annoyingly, Sister Mel used to save half of hers and then eat the rest in front of me later on when mine were gone. I swear she used to get an indecent amount of pleasure out of that.

When I was in Grade 10 I decided I would see what it would be like if I actually opened a book to prepare for an exam, and from being hidden in the middle, I came in the top 10 in the grade. The next year I went back to not caring. Always more, most. Best / worst.

Well, I am addicted again. My sister, the person who probably knows me better than most, spotted it. I suppose it was hard to miss. I brought my laptop to a fashion show / morning tea event at her church. (What! I thought that if there was a break in proceedings, I could get a bit of work in!)

I am addicted to work at the moment. More specifically, my new project Nurture. It is all I want to do – I LOVE it. I am up late at night, after the kids have gone to bed, working, and then I especially wake up early in the morning so that I can get a few hours in before they wake up. Workworkwork. It is completely intimidating for my partners. Emails at all hours of the day, multiple projects on the go. Go go go.

It is not even just Nurture, I am on such a high at the moment, I feel as if I can take on the world. And I have just launched a new project as well!

Poor Rose, she came inside the other morning at 7 and I had already done a load of washing, packed stuff in the dishwasher, tidied up….I love living on this nervous energy I have, I love the buzz. But I know it must be a pain too. I’ve tried relaxing, but relaxing makes me anxious. I find relaxing to be a terrible waste of time. (I spent my 24 hours away working, and it was DIVINE! I got so much done and I felt so great afterwards. Working is my way of relaxing)

Apparently there is a thing called moderation. I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never actually seen it person.

Comments

[Coral]

Good for you, you are achieving so much. (Are you still getting in the occasional BJ)?

Can you tell any human interest stories about Nurture, or will that be too intrusive?

[Sister Mel]

Don't encourage her, she is a pain. Arsehole! (her not you!)

[RainbowW]

You're the sort of person who's seen balance. You wave as you pass on your way from one extreme to the other.

Do your husband a favor. Get addicted to sex. He'd like that, I imagine.

[HappyGrl]

Hey Tertia - my brother is bipolar and he goes through similar phases. Intense energy and creativity followed by blah, lack of interest and energy. You've been very open about your depression and anxiety and this intensity of yours could be linked, maybe it's not bipolar, but some sort of mood "thing" (there are lots of mood "things" that are not bipolar). My brother would not trade the creative, energetic phases of his bipolar where he's on fire to be free of the disorder. Just a thought.

[Heather G]

You scare me.

[Andrea]

Go easy on yourself. In the scheme of all the things you could be addicted to, this seems a benign thing (though as I type this I do recall people telling me that when you are involved with a workaholic it is not at all benign)

http://favethings.typepad.com

[Samantha]

HappyGrl, I had the same thought. My husband has bi-polar disorder and was exactly the same in his periods of mania. He doesn't any more, as controlling his illness has decreased that as well as the crippling depression. Which is a huge relief to me. His obsession was cleaning, and it was freaky to see him vacuuming with a duster in the other hand at 3am.

As long as you are not experiencing the downward spiral part of the equation, enjoy it - I know how powerful it is. But yes, it is TOTALLY KNACKERING TO EVERYBODY AROUND YOU. But that is ok because you have already taken care of everything!

Take care.

[Tam]

Wow! Sister Mel said a swear word (ass....) I read it ~ she really wrote it! Only a sister can swear at a sister & get away with it ;)

I can relate as I sometimes have creative flows where I'm up all night working & obsessed about a new project~ I do some of my best work & am most prolific. Later, I'm able to cruse along & fill in the pieces until the next high.

You are a creative person & it's sometimes hard to be or live with a highly intelligent & creative person but there it is ~ so deal with it! T

[Bianca W]

Good heavens woman - I am exhausted just READING your post.
:-)

[jacki janse van rensburg]

just enjoy it, and use this time to get as much done as possible. you will probably have a little crash later, but then you can rest, and relax, knowing that you got a lot done. i find that if i work with my energy cycles, and not against them, i am so much more productive.

[Johan Swarts]

Just don't start doing Tik or something ;)