Like a prostitute on payday

Campers, I am so sorry about the terrible inattention I have focused on my blog of late. I feel like I’ve invited to you come for dinner at my house and I’ve spent the entire evening on the phone sorting out various emergencies.  Necessary perhaps, but annoying, disappointing and leaving you rather inclined not to visit again for a while. I thank you for your patience and ask that you hold on to that for a bit longer because May is a revolting month for me. I am busier than a whore at a World Cup. Which is why I haven’t yet answered your email that you sent to me AGES ago. Terribly sorry! I promise I’ve read it, and as soon as I get a chance, I will reply.  I hate being so tardy, but the demands are many and the time, she is few.

So, with that out the way, let me give you a little update on the various bits and pieces that make up my life.

I am currently at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet above sea level, hungover, sleep deprived and on my way home after a hectic celebratory event last night. The event was the culmination of months of hard work on a big project I have been working on. I flew up at sparrows fart yesterday morning to help set it all up and by the time the actual event happened, my feet were killing me and I had a splitting headache. Not that it stopped me from doing my thang on the dance floor in a wine induced haze of pre 1999 dance moves. Hello Moderation, my name is Tertia. I don’t think we’ve met before?

Besides the day job, our Egg Donor business is going SO SO well. I am absolutely LOVING it. Plus I am really good at it, which makes me feel all warm inside. Every time I help a recipient it feels like I am helping a little bit of my old infertile self. Of course, I, we, still have to face our first negative, which will happen, but I don’t even want to think about that now. Like Scarlett O’Hara, I will think about that tomorrow.

Next, the kids: Kids are fine. I need to do a full update on them, but here are the headlines:

Kate: Cheeky as hell, has an opinion on everything, knows better about everything, loves her mommy dearly and is now sleeping in her brothers room.

Adam: MUCH better in terms of the sensory stuff. We seem to have it under control at the moment. Doing really well at school, although every morning we still have: “hold me Mom, just hold me for a bit”. Wakes up at night every now and then but much, much better.  I don’t sleep next to him at all anymore and he is quite happy to have his sister sharing a room with him. You can say “I told you so” if you like.

The Pets: Shelly is a different dog since Peter has died, it’s weird. When Peter was around, Shelly was very snappy. She wasn’t really interested in us at all; all she wanted to do was play and fight with Peter. She used to growl and nip at the kids. But since Peter has gone, she has become a much happier and cheerful, much more patient, much friendlier. She is still completely destroying our garden and annihilating every toy foolishly left outside, but she has softened into a really sweet dog. Even Bruno has warmed up a few degrees from steely disapproval to grudging tolerance. On that note, I have got to have Shelly spayed soon because every since Bruno lost his virginity last year (late starter, only recently went straight), he has become a sex maniac and tries to hump everything that moves.  SHE’S A PUPPY YOU PERVERTED BASTARD! Sies!

Next, The Errant Embryo: Not entirely sure what is happening there as I haven’t had time to go for a repeat beta or scan. Terrible Muriel. How times have changed. But I assume all is as it should be because TEN farking days later, the fat lady is still farking singing.

And last, but not least: The Husband. The husband is well and amazingly enough, not really even irritating me that much. This is especially significant if one considers that we spent 9 (nine) whole days together. I am even having fond thoughts towards him. Think I will keep him around for a while longer. (Please note: Like the weather in Cape Town, this might change with no warning at all, and sunshine and roses could quickly change into storm clouds and thunder. Travellers are advised to pack suitable all weather gear)

Well, that’s it. My eyes look like pissholes in the snow and my mouth tastes like something died in it, but besides that, I am very, very well. I hope you are too.

Comments

[Orange]

The weather in Capetown is said to be changeable, is it? There's a saying in Chicago: "Don't like the weather? Just wait 5 minutes and it'll change." I heard someone on the radio debunking that. His point was that if it was effing cold 5 minutes ago and it's effing cold now, he would bet you a million dollars that it'll still be effing cold 5 minutes from now. (It might change the next day, though.)

[cath]

We love you, T. sending you kisses and hopes for a quiet weekend. Uncrazy and Awesome X

[Natt]

I wont say I told you so - but Im v. glad you are all getting more sleep!! x

[21stCenturyMom]

"piss holes in the snow" OMG - you are so funny. And of course your kids are doing well - they have you!

[Lani ~ The Wooden Porch]

That's so weird that Shelly is acting nicer. That's great. I'm still really sorry for you that Peter died though.

[Lisa]

Can I just say you totally crack me up? I love the "busier than a whore at World Cup." I'm totally using that, though I think that since my boyfriend and I were the only people we knew here in L.A. to watch the last World Cup, I don't know if anyone will get it, but who cares. Heh!

[Sue at eLuckypacket]

Your last couple lines cracked me up ;-)

[Hanlie]

I thought every day was payday for whores?

[Janet]

You, Tertia darlin', are the ray of sunshine in my day! Thanks for the gift of this blog!

[robyn]

thanks for all the kind and supportive words.
love

[jocemom]

I was a bit concerned when you got sibling puppies because I remember reading that they will bond to each other and not the Masters. So sorry that they got seperated they way they did but seems like Shelly is paying more attention to you now ;)

[tess]

if you invited us to dinner you would spend the night on the phone ordering our food!
i'll have the red curry, charles wants beef rendang.

we'll bring vino.

[Suffering....]

Hello Moderation, my name is Tertia. I don’t think we’ve ever met......my mouth tastes like something died in it, but besides that, I am very, very well.
OMG I could have written that today! Too spooky how you can know how I feel miles and miles away! Off to nap now!

[Janet]

You, Tertia darlin', are the ray of sunshine in my day! Thanks for the gift of this blog!

[ruth]

just a thought re puppy humping behaviour. the humping is a domination thing, not sex, even tho it is sexual in its style. long-fixed dogs of both genders will do it if they feel territorial enough. and, as you know, they will do it to anything they wish to overpower.

hee hee, my favorite example of this happened when my puppy oscar humped my EX mother-in-law's foot and lower leg- she was sitting crosslegged and purse-lipped at our table having her usual cup of tea, brimful and spilling over with her disapproval of me, seeing her try to kick the puppy off her foot, which only excited him more so he held on tighter and humped even harder . . . OMG FUUUUUNNNNNYYYYY . . . she was a very prudish lady who criticised me to death, esp after i had two miscarriages in a row (after losing a daughter to cot death) - she used to sit me down and give me lectures about how i was causing the miscarriages because of being too fit, too active etc etc etc - maaaan it hurt, and my dog could bring her down with one quick swish of his furry little hips. he had his own way of bringing about justice in a way peculiarly suited to my ex m.i.l. like he knew how powerless i felt in the presence of her unpleasant speech.
rip ossi. YOU ROCKED.

happy mother's day (in aus and nz) tertia and fellow mother type people. aint it just grand to be a mommy?
xxx