Ageing from the outside in

I am wearing make up today, the second time IN A WEEK (can you cope!) I can’t wait to get to 6pm when I can take it off. I could take it off now, but that would be a waste. I might as well look gorgeous for a bit longer, seeing as I already have this gunk on my face.

Anyway, I was peering in the mirror, checking to see that my mascara hadn’t smudged further than my top lip when I noticed that my eyebrow pencil had smudged a little (have very little body hair, need to colour in eyebrows). I leant forward (eyes failing) to rub the smudge line away and took a step back again to admire my handiwork. Lo and behold, the bloody line was still there. Leant forward, rubbed harder. Still there.

O.M.G It isn’t a smudge line, it’s a fucking wrinkle! I have wrinkly eyebrows. Shoot me now, my life is officially over.

It’s quite fascinating really, watching my body degenerate before my very (wrinkly) eyes.  What the hell happened? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was young, taut and wrinkle free? I now have wrinkly eyebrows and wrinkly feet. It would appear I am ageing from the extremities inwards. Thank god between my youthful vagina (hardly used, still in original packaging) and fake 20-something year old boobs, my middle is positively pubescent. If I wear a balaclava and ankle boots I could pass for a 25 year old any day.

Sigh. This ageing business is a bitch.   

Comments

[Lila]

I hope this is the right moment that you remind me of Israeli supermodel Shiraz Tal. She is currently doing a new campaign here on telly and when I saw it for the first time, I thought, how come Tertia started a modeling career and I know nothing about it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiraz_Tal

In Israel, she's world famous ;-) and she really reminds me of you.

http://mad.walla.co.il/archive/234924-5.jpg

She's older now than on the picture but looks better now I think. Didn't find a newer pic.

Feel cool!!! You make even wrinkly feet g&d.

[Dani]

I can't believe you blogged a new wrinkle. Your therapist would have a FIELD DAY with this. ;)

xoxo

PS - If I blogged new wrinkles, Blogger would crash.

[Wyliekat]

Little to no body hair? See, you kinda lost my sympathy there. I get five o'clock shadow on my legs - mere minutes after I've finished shaving. I get freak hairs on my nipples. I'm anxiously fearing the arrival of nose and chin hairs.

To have to draw hair on? That'd be nice.

[Jessica]

Fscial creams that contain retinol, Dude. Only thing that really works. ;-)

[Scott]

I am going to start blogging when I find a patch that ISN'T wrinkled.
Aren't you glad that you aren't a man, whose hair can abandon ship at any moment? Mine started when I was 19. Stupid hair. You are still fine looking, I said in my most platonic Neen could see this way.

[kirstyphysio]

Ha Ha Ha! Who are you kidding about your vagina being in original packaging?? Ok - so maybe you didn't conceive via sex - but, cooter wands still count!! And lets not forget the sofa!!

[Melissia]

Tertia,
If someone is that close to you they aren't going to notice a wrinkle near your eyebrows. They are performing CPR because you have fallen over due to your advanced age! You are too funny.

[kristylynne]

Damn, you are funny.

Yeah, I turned 40 a couple of days ago, and I have the wrinkle thing going too. Most of the rest of me is not in bad shape, due to good genetics (sadly, not effort on my part, as I detest exercise) but unfortunately those good genes are complemented by wrinkly genes from my dad's side. Oh well, what can you do? (I mean, besides buy $79 eye cream from Shishedo? Which I do. Aherm.)

[Barbara]

Two words - "bush bangs." As some of us get older, our nether hair, emboldened by the drop in estrogen, begins a rapid, creeping charlie-plant-like growth descent. It should be to my knees by September.

[sarah]

You just made my morning, HILARIOUS!!!!

[From TZ]

amen sister! feeling the same, and i mean it...hit me a few days ago and thought the same...sucks, not only the wrinkles but the make up too! coming to CT as soon as i am done BF, seeing Dr. L for 20 year old boobs plus having a chemical face off job, want to met me for a glass of wine? promise i will not hug you..
x L

[victoria]

I seem to be the unofficial spokesperson for surgical intervention, but -- photofacials do wonders for reversing sun damage (no really! check out some before & after photos on the internet!), botox is great for forehead wrinkles, restylane puts an end to shriveled upper lips & undereye bags. Also eyelash extensions mean never having to wear mascara again, and brow tinting means you can toss your brow pencil in the bin. The more interventions I choose, the less makeup I have to wear. :-)

[SheBee]

Oh my god this post had me in stitches! I'm the exact opposite. My feet, hands and face make me look like my age, my body suggests I've had four kids and am 50y.o.

The commentators? Oh how I wish these dudes made me laugh so much on my blog!

[Melody Brown, Cape Town]

I just had a fringe cut today. To hide my tracks on my forehead. And I am only 35. I got great body genes (still slim as a reed afta 3 kids) from me mum but we both wrinkle like crinkle paper!

[Kathy]

Hi, I'm just wandered into your blog while browsing and boy do I feel you on this one. It's amazing how when you really look...and I have to really look hard, you can see those tiny little lines start to form. Maybe there's something to be said about botox after all...