On Saturday I was
feeling in a particularly mellow, reflective mood. Happy reflective, grateful. It was such a sweet experience to see the
kids take on their new big boy and big girl bikes.
And then my heart
sank as the comments start coming in on my blog. Good lord, it has happened again. After four years of blogging, I shouldn’t
have been surprised by it, but it seems to catch me unawares every time.
The Patrolling Parenting
Police have struck again.
The comments were
for the most part polite and I suppose meant to be well-meaning. I let it go and didn’t say anything because,
well, what can one say? I could ask you whether;
knowing what you know about me, you really, really thought I would deliberately
endanger my children? I could have taken
offence at the insinuation that I am either incredibly stupid or grossly negligent.
I could have
explained that the kids rode exactly THREE meters around us, with Marko
standing RIGHT THERE, in arms reach; in a road where NOT ONE car drove past the
entire time we were there. I could point
out that with training wheels, a top speed of not more than 0.1mph and a marked
inability to propel forward at any discernable pace, the kids were hardly in
danger. But I chose not too. I thought I would just let it go.
I considered briefly
asking what gave you the right to pass judgement on my parenting skills? Especially when no where did I ask you for your
advice or opinion. I wanted to ask you
whether your air of parenting superiority came from the belief that you were 100%
perfect all the time, or were you right only some of the time?
Or was that it that
you felt it was your moral and civic duty to save my children from my obviously
apparent incompetence?
But where would
that have got me? Probably more drama
and to be quite honest, I am way too busy to deal with drama right now.
But that was
until I got the comment from ‘anonymous’ this morning. It was a simple comment, consisting of only
one word followed by many question marks “Helmets???” The sour taste of betrayal it left in my
mouth was the final straw. What type of
person makes a random drive-by judgement like that? What type of person would take the beautiful
sentiment of gratitude I had expressed in my post and sour it by making that
one judgey, ugly comment?
And so I had a
look and there she was. Looking so
normal, so perfect, smiling back at me in her family portrait with her husband
and three perfect children. Why would a mother
do that another mother? Don’t we all have it hard? Isn’t the thing that drives most of us the
strong, deep love we have for our children? Why would you leave an anonymous drive-by on some other mom’s blog? I don’t understand it, I really don’t. I suppose she didn’t think I would find out
who she was. Which makes it worse,
actually. Cowardly.
I see she calls
herself ‘supermom’ in her description on her blog. She says she is “a semi-stay-at-home mom… who
loves to garden, sew, craft, quilt and scrapbook”. Isn’t that what perfect moms do? God, I have absolutely no chance at all, do
I? I am so far out of the mold, its scary.
I don’t
know. I am not sure why that last
comment upset me so much. It feels like
a betrayal somehow, even though I don’t know her at all and she only ‘knows’ me
from my blog. I just don’t understand
the Parenting Police. I don’t get them, and I especially don’t understand how
women (especially mothers) can be so mean to other women / mothers.
I don’t know. Am feeling completely flat. A bit like I’ve completed blindsided by this
onslaught of the patrolling Parenting Police who have absolutely no compunction
to chew up, spit out and toss aside any person they might encounter along the
way who doesn’t quite to fit into their definition of Acceptable Parenting
Practice. Who feel it is their right to
leave anonymous drive-by judgements on the blogs of complete strangers. Who hide contemptuous disdain for others behind
fake smiles and the phony veneer of perfection.
But then again, perhaps
I am just hormonal or something. Who
knows. All I know is that it will
probably again in the not too distant future. One thing about the ubiquitous Patrolling Parenting Police, they are
nothing if not dedicated to their cause.
(To those who are
inevitably going to respond to this post with a comment that says something
like, “BUT HELMETS ARE VERY IMPORTANT ” I say this – if you don’t shut up about
the helmets, I am going to take the fucking helmet, attach it to the end of my
foot and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!
Contrary to
popular belief, I am not stupid, nor have I been living under a rock for the
last few years. Of course I know helmets
are important, and as soon as I feel it is necessary, I will put them on MY
kids. My kids = I decide. Your kids = You decide. Got it? Good. Let us not speak of this again.)