I might be a moaner, but he is a PITA!!!

Marko says I whine all the time. I happen to think that is not quite accurate but even if I do perhaps moan a tiny little bit, it is because he never listens. Ever. And when I do happen to complain about something, he says I am moaning. 

Now, you tell me whether this is moaning, of whether it is in fact HE who is being an industrial strength enema:

If you are fortunate enough to be a mother you will know that sleep is a very scare resource. Getting a night of uninterrupted sleep is the male equivalent of getting a blow job. With swallowing. (In other words, happens infrequently and feels like heaven when you are lucky enough to get it).

And as any mother will tell you, if it you are going to get woken up at night, it better be a child crying out and not for ANY other reason. Barking dogs and snoring husbands take their lives into their own hands if they do it loud enough to wake you.

So imagine my joy last night when in between getting up twice to tell Adam to go back to sleep, Marko’s fancy new phone beeped and vibrated THREE times on the bedside table next to him. That’s right. In my scant 7 hours between the sheets, I get woken up five times. This does not make me happy.

I turned him sweetly this morning and said through gritted teeth, “sweetheart, why is your phone making that beeping noise and grating vibration during the night?” Oh, he says, it must have been some email coming through”

O.M.G

Switch the fucking notification thing OFF!!!!! You, no, let me rephrase that, WE do not need to know at 03:31am that an email has come through!!!!! SWITCH IT OFF!!

Apparently that is “whining”. 

Whining? He is lucky to be alive. The next time his phone informs us at 3 in the morning that an email has come through, I am going to email his fancy new phone up his bloody backside!

Comments

[Linus]

No you're not a whiner. I say - technology be damned in the middle of the night! My husband used to get notifications as well, about an hour before I wake up in the morning! I threw my toys, and now his phone stays in his study at night. Let me guess, Marko sleeps right through them? I agree, turn the notifications off.

[Robin from Israel]

Sorry Marko, I'm definitely with T on this one. Turn the bloody thing off!

[Bianca W]

Abso-friggin-lutley!!! Off, off and OFF!!!

[SCY]

With you on this one T, turn the frigging thing off when it is sleeping time!

[Tripsmom]

You were still being nice!!!! - I support you completely on this!!! My goodness its as bad as asking your wife who you find sleeping in the spare room "did I snore last night?"

[Miranda]

If SO gets one more text message at 2am I will kill both him and the person who sends it... At least put the phone on silent... especially seeing as he doesn't answer the text till morning anyway.

[Ms Marples]

He is turning slowly but surely into a CrackBerry.
Better stop it now before it is too late.

[HeatherM]

I've learned the hard way to switch off my phone at night. I got people calling the wrong number at 3am. And no, you are not whining, whining would be going on and on about it repeatedly. You won't need to do that coz Marko is smart enough to not let it happen again!

[Jo-Ann]

I live with this as well!!! Drives me absolutely bonkers. Makes even more noise if he has an Outlook alert at 4 or 5 am. Usually the phone freaks out when I have gotten only a few hours of sleep due to work.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN

Turn the phone off Marko

[Kim]

He was probably referring to the way you said it rather than what you said. I think sometimes guys just hear the tone in your voice and then tune out to what is being said - assholes!

[Keri]

You most definitely are NOT whining...your request was totally justified. Turn off the phone, Marko!

[Nattie]

WTF? How can he accuse you of whining when HIS phone wakes YOU up! Men...He probably slept through Adam waking up and the phone vibrating!

ha ha ha!

Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight T

xxx

[Wyliekat]

If he's woken you up anyway, I'd suggest going to another room and phoning him. Ask him if he'd be so kind as to turn his phone off. ;-}

[Dani]

Your "whining" was uncalled for.

Castration would have been more fitting.

[Nattie]

LOL...just saw Wyliekat's comment...I think you should try that! That would be so funny.

I must remember that one - thanks for sharing Wyliekat!

[Jessica]

ROFL at Wyliekat.

I'd go ballistic if a phone woke me in the middle of the night for a FRAKKING EMAIL ALERT. I suggest next time it happens you take the phone and sweetly drop it into the tall glass of water you've conveniently set on your bedside table. Gurgle ... gurgle .. problem solved.

[Pam]

Why does he need the cell phone in the bedroom anyway? Is he on call and expecting to be needed in the middle of the night? If not, then leave the cell out in the other room or turn it off at night.

[Liz]

Yes I agree with Pam, unless he is on call he doesn't need his cell next to him. Next time it beeps/vibrates, just throw it in the toilet. :)

[Tania]

yes, he needs to at the very minimum keep it on vibrate, I had mistankenly taken my freinds phone home one afternoon, I put it in my bedroom, when we went to go to sleep the damn thing was beep, 5 seconds later beep on and on, Jeff had enough and took the cell phone into the kitchen and that is where it stayed!!

[Melody Brown, Cape Town]

OMG - is he crazy? Tell him you are an angel. I would have gotten up on the 2nd beep and THROWN IT OUT THE WINDOW (into our pool). I kid you not. Tell him how lucky he is to have YOU and not CRAZY ASSED ME for a wife.

[Sue]

A few weeks ago was going in to the office early for a few days straight in prep for a big meeting. Set my cell phone/alarm clock for 5:15am. So it beeps and of course I switch it off, shower, get dressed, tip toe around the house so as not to wake up beloved husband and darling son. Of course it is pitch black outside because that's what it's like at that time of the morning, right? Forty-five minutes later I get in my car, pull out the drive way and notice my car clock says it's 5:06 am. It must be a mistake. Radio announcer says, "It's 5:08 am." WTF??

All I can figure is that I got an SMS from my bank alerting to a debit order going through and I assumed it was the alarm clock. So like a huge dufus, I got up at 4:15 am and got ready for work.

So yes Marko, turn off the damn email alert because it is annoying. And FNB, can you schedule your alerts at a more reasonable hour?

[Lori]

Using your bj with swallowing analogy....or trying to. :-) Would Marko be likely to whine if your phone went off while he was getting aforementioned bj and you decided to disrupt the lovely little heaven he was in to answer it and have a conversation?

Turn it OFF Marko! Or your bj days are probably over! ;-)

[kristylynne]

You're not whining. I agree, sleep is the most precious and wonderful thing on earth. And since you are the one up with Adam, and not Marko, the least he can do is try to be considerate. However, if he normally does turn it off and just forgot this one time, let it go. If he does it on purpose and regularly, let him have it.

[Anne]

lucky to be alive, got mt Hubby trained by waking him up if the phone went off.

[victoria]

Marko's NOT the kind of person who responds to accurate & true criticisms of his conduct by manufacturing some imaginary flaw in his critic, is he?

[[email protected]]

you seriously should shove said phone up his ass . . . that would guarantee his waking up every time the stupid thing goes off. altho, knowing marko (which i dont except thru your highly biased pages!!!!) he would probably LOVE it.

[Ruth]

you seriously should shove said phone up his ass . . . that would guarantee his waking up every time the stupid thing goes off. altho, knowing marko (which i dont except thru your highly biased pages!!!!) he would probably LOVE it.

[Heather]

I love the analogy of the woman's good night sleep = blow job for a man (including swallowing!). That's the best!

[Aurelia]

My husband always gets defensive and pissed off when he's in the wrong and he knows it.

Then he feels embarassed and can't take it back. Too much pride.

Maybe Marko is now feeling the same?

[beck]

you must wake him up every time you are up during the night and THEN see who the whiney one is!

[D]

Phones going buzzz buzzz buzzz in the middle of the night... That happened exactly once... God help me if that things goes off and the office or server room is not on fire it will promptly be chucked out the window. No whining or moaning needed just that once sentence - thats it. :o)

['wishIknew']

Got hubby a new fancy watch for Christmas. He LOVES it - only one problem it goes off at 3AM and he hasn't read the book on how to turn that alarm function off. That happened more than one night and I was NOT amused.
The watch now lives downstairs in the office at night. If I hear it now it means I stayed up on the computer WAY too late.

I agree. Turn the phone off at night. (messages will still be there when he checks the next day)
I am curious who/what is e-mailing at that time of night though...

[Sheza]

Wake him up one night at 3am and tell him that he has to take out the garbage. And if it didn't annoy him one bit at all, wake him up at 4am and tell him again.

[Amy]

You are a nicer person than me.

My lawyer husband, who sleeps through 3 yr olds having nightmares and small babies screaming at 2 am, once left his Blackberry on... on a Friday night. I could not get back to sleep and damn him and his work junk, I could not find that stupid Blackberry.

And he ALWAYS gets emails.

I let him know about the Blackberry in the morning. He apologized. I graciously accepted, plotting my revenge. That night, every time the kids woke up, I woke him up and kicked him out of bed. Oh yes. Yes I did. At 11 pm with baby. At 2 am with the 3 year old. At 3 am with the baby. At 5 am with the baby. And then I kicked him out of bed for good at 7 am when both kids decided to be up for the day.

He has NEVER left that Blackberry on again.

[HeatherN3Boys]

I think he's lucky you didn't stick it where the sun doesn't shine the first time it went off. If he HAS to have it on, at least put it another room where he won't hear it. It's not as if he jumped up to check that oh-so-important E-mail, so maybe just putting the phone in another room where you can't hear it would be a good compromise.

And no, I don't think you're whining. :-)