The mass debate on oral gets deeper

(BTW, your comments on the BJ post have been VERY entertaining. You really are a very entertaining bunch of women.)

Right all you olive lovers and ‘no thank yous’, I need you to go do some field research into this very important topic of blowjob giving.

I need to go ask your man, or any man (if you are a man yourself, pls provide feedback directly) what their view on the matter is. How do they feel about the spitting vs swallowing debate? No big deal or very big deal? Why do they love it (the BJ and the swallowing thing) so much? (One word answers like ‘nice’ or ‘fine’ are not allowed. Dig a bit deeper guys) Are there men out there who have a ‘take it or leave it’ attitude towards BJs? If they could choose between a BJ (with swallowing), a (pleasant, but not blow your socks off) shag or a (smallish yet with reasonably good picture clarity) flat screen TV, which one would they choose?

Then, in the interests of all things fair. We will do a poll on receiving oral. How much do you love it? Lots? Fair to mild? Not for you? Prefer just plain (non oral) sex? Or would you rather choose that lovely flat screen TV?

Comments

[Liz]

I submitted the vote and it said 69%. LOL.

Yeah, I kill myself. :)

[Nicole]

Um. I used to date a guy who used the following lines:

Q: What is the bird of love?
A: The dove.
Q: What is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

:)

[Bianca W]

Hi T. I just sms'd my hubby, and his exact response was "Have you lost the plot? I think all of the above". What a cheeky brat. Seeing that I have known him for 14 years, my answer for him would have been "BJ (with swallowing)". He LOVES them, and cant give me any reason, other than - they are the best things in the world. Sorry - I did try.

Loving all the responses btw.

B

[Julie]

In the interests of science I called hubby (he is away on a business trip) and asked him. Of course he will take a BJ over the other options any day of the week. (Although he is now rather aroused and as he is standing waiting for a taxi, that's probably not the best state to be in LOL).

Could you maybe at some point do another poll on how often "boring married" couples such as us actually bump uglies. Hubby and I average around 3 or 4 times per week - but we both have friends who reckon they aren't getting any at all?????

[Normal]

Must say I am thoroughly enjoying this. Called my hubby and gave him the "low down" of the situation. His first comment was "seriously????". So I ended up reading yeasterday and today's blogg just to prove that this wasn't a trick question. The information I was given ...hhhmmm... after 20 years surprised even me with this honesty. YES YES YES BJ's are a go go go and although to this day I have never swallowed (still waiting for him to swallow it fisrt!), I was duly informed that if I had EVER paid attention to male conversations I shouldn't have to ask that question! Any man, he claims, who says they do not want you to swallow is talking bullshit! As for the sex or blow job thing, he didn't like the fact that he had to chose one, definately both...(i'm thinking he was a little too afraid to commit to that answer, considering who was asking the question). As for sex or TV I was told that "damn woman, now that's a no brainer.....sex sex sex, maybe WHILE watching something "related to the topic" on a flat screen TV". Hope that helps your poll T.

[Jen]

My DH must be one in a million, he says he's never given a thought to the spit or swallow bit! I'm not sure I believe that, but hey! I do know he loves a good BJ, but that is usually just foreplay for us, lol......and as far as sex or tv....definitely sex!

[Veronica]

My DH swore black and blue that he wasn't into oral when we first got together. Then I gave him oral and he was converted.

Can we say a big ego boost for me? Anyways he is all for swallowing.

[Crystal]

My hubby and I have spoken about the whole 'why do men love oral?' topic on a few occasions. He says to him its partly a trust thing (how much they have to relax and open up to us so that they can basically put their manhoods at risk of injury), Partly a closeness thing 9how much effort we're willing to make to please them without expecting anything in return) and also an acceptance thing (that we're willing to be that intimate with them, and love what they have down there).

[Molly]

I just called him and asked him. This is the conversation I just had.

Molly: "Hi honey. The internet wants to know if you'd rather have sex or a blow job?"

Dan: "The internet wants to have sex with me?"

Molly: "No. They want to know which you prefer."

Dan: "I don't know how we'd do that."

Molly: "They have ways."

So aside from being stupider than when I picked up the phone, I still don't know, except that he seldom asks for a blowjob, whereas he's always looking for sex.

[Chickenpig]

Hmmm....You need to clarify the question for me. Is it no oral for the rest of your life for a TV?, or just passing up one BJ for a TV? Because it is one time for a TV my husband would choose the TV, because he knows he'll get another BJ soon, but if it's for the rest of his life...I'm sure he would just buy the TV himself. As for the sex vrs oral thing, I think he prefers starting with oral, but ending with intercourse as the best of both worlds.

[Angie]

I wonder what "other" is that 5 people siad. ;)

[Paul]

So what is with this choice thing? We have to choose one?

[Lena]

Tertia, what was the 9 "other" answers?

[blushing bride]

My fiance and I have talked about this before and the appeal of the BJ is the increased sensation mostly but also the feeling of acceptance, like the above poster said. I always felt it was a little unfair to get oral sex, but refuse to give it--and they don't really get an option of "swallowing" so to say---they have to taste us. But it's something I don't mind--and I do like olives. Our philosophy in general is from Dan Savage--a goofy sex columnist in the states here. He advocates for being GGG--good, giving, and game. Which, in a nutshell, is that if it doesn't hurt you physically, or emotionally to do something and your partner asks, you should do your best to do it. It's worked well for us!

[bec]

I don't even have to ask him. I already know. He would love if there were swallowing involved, but he'll take what he can get which very occasional spitting.

[Tertia]

Other answers:

267952 one to start, the other to finish please!
267937 tie between oral and tv
267913 Loves it, but doesn't care if it is to completion and even though he loves it, w
267884 handjob
267857 All of the above
267570 A book!
267565 Oral first; plain sex later!

[anon]

SO loves BJs, prefers swallowing, but understands if his partner doesn't (as he says, "I don't like the taste of semen, so how can I complain?"). It's all about intensity of sensation and not having that sensation/stimulation taken away at the critical moment.

[Aurelia]

Actually women do ejaculate fluid, it's just not as obvious as men sometimes.

http://www.wnetwork.com/expert_tips/love/sue_faq/g_spot.asp

Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue - Sue Johanson - Canada's best export to the world!

[K]

Oops, I answered the poll for me, not my man. Sorry. :)

[Lauryan (Maddie)]

Erm.. ok - strange that this topic keeps erm popping up all over the internet the past week...

I am convinced it is a conspiracy among the guys to convince us that the majority of women swallow. which I don't agree with.

It seems nearly every male WANTS his woman to swallow, but I personally don't.

[RainbowW]

you know where i sit on this. or perhaps lay. i'm too ticklish to actually receive a bj that reaches orgasm. while it's a nice starter, i've never actually been blown to completion. (maybe, once i replace marko and you replace sue, you'll remedy that?)

plain old shag (no birth control permitted) for me.

[victoria]

Goodness. It honestly *NEVER* occurred to me that anyone would care (or even notice) whether a woman swallowed after a BJ. Why would they even KEEP TRACK at that point? Don't they have OTHER THINGS to notice / feel at that point?

[cupcake]

Um. I used to date a guy who used the following lines:

Q: What is the bird of love?
A: The dove.
Q: What is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

:)

Posted by: Nicole | 20 February 2008 at 07:31 AM

Nicole, you must've been dating my husband - he says that to me all the time :oD

[Krissy Poopyhands]

The Troublemaker always finds a good BJ to be better than just about anything. The offer of a TV or a BJ is laughable and he wouldn't even think about it. BJ all the way.

[Jerseygirl89]

Hubby could give up one BJ for a TV, but not more than that. He swears what he prefers depends on his mood, and mine. He talked about the acceptance and intimacy of swallowing too, and that it was wonderful not having to worry about warning me or moving or whatever at the point of climax.

[D]

Wow - I kinda feel like my hubby is getting ripped off now lol... I personally dont like to receive oral. And to give it isn't anything I look forward to - but once in a while (a few times a year) I'll give in...

[D]

oh I forgot to mention it has to be right after he takes a shower... no sweat ewww

[Nicole]

Now, sat here with a glass of wine after dinner, I have posed the questions to hubby. He answered the poll - plain sex - he would prefer sex with me than a blow job where I swallowed. He says this is ultimately much more fulfilling because you have a whole mind body connection whereas with a BJ it is only about your 'cock' whereas making love is about everything.

So, if plain sex is not an option I asked if spitting or swallowing was a big deal or not? The answer, it is a big deal. Swallowing is MUCH more satisfying than spitting. It is more satisfying because a 'spit' says you don't want it. A swallow tells me you are horny and into it.

Men enjoy bj's and don't have a take it or leave it attitude to them. It is the only time when something sexual happens TO them, the only time you get anything back (apart from a hand job).

So to the choices:

BJ with swallowing?
pleasant shag?
flat screen TV?

A pleasant shag, because it is about the connection between two people. The connection is important to my hubby.

PHEW!

[Dan in MN]

I prefer that my partner swallow. To spit is to reject me in some way. When I go down on my wife, do I spit? Of course not (though I suppose I occasionally spit ON her cookie while I am in the process of devouring it Is that TMI?), I swallow her accumulated juices as they build up, along with some of my own spit, I suppose).

Though all in all, I prefer a good shag. That's the BEST 'O' for me. But if she's going to give oral, I do prefer that she swallows. I think she does about half the time.

Lastly, TV is overrated. Watching porn on the laptop with the Mrs, now THAT is a good time.

Also, though it doesn't always have to be a tit for tat, I think oral should be reciprocal, or not even offered.

[Charles]

A gentleman never tells.

[Vicky]

My husband is first and foremost a fan of regular sex, then blow jobs, I am a swallower and he has told me many times how much better it feels for a woman to swallow after. A close gay male friend also told me that in relationships a deal breaker for him was if the guy didn't swallow, and when I asked him why he told me that any guy knows it feels a thousand times better so there are no excuses. I guess my husband would probably pick a TV if he was really tired, it lasts longer and all.

[Lori]

Long time reader, first time poster.

My man's comment on the topic: HOW big is the tv?
Consensus: blowjob!!
Why?: It's the novelty. I get tv all the time, and shags pretty commonly. That makes blowjobs better!

Bugger.

[Abbie]

I emailed the Mister this question. He called me back asking "What are you thinking of getting rid of, and you do know that I'm at work, right?"

Apparently, intercourse is his favorite. He wouldn't like to get rid of any of those three, but if he had to, PIV sex is the one he would keep.

[Marlen]

My DH says he doesn't have a preference with the swallowing or spitting, but he does enjoy the oral as foreplay to the sex. He says he enjoys the oral to the point of can't take it anymore and then sex to complete the climax. He's not at all specific, is he?

[Marcie]

I have to say that my husband and I have been following these two posts and find them very entertaining.

[Jessica]

All right, here is the report from the boyfriend...

On the subject of swallowing versus spitting, he says that swallowing is preferable because it shows that the female partner enjoys the act, while spitting might suggest disgust. However, if the female did not want to swallow because she disliked the taste, he could understand that. Any other reason for refusal would make him feel awkward. When I asked what he would think if the female did not want to perform oral sex on him at all, he responded that he thought he could deal with that without being too upset about it... although he thought it would take away from foreplay in some cases.

Oh, and when asked for the top reason why it's so nice when the girl swallows? He says it's because it makes her seem naughty and that is a turn on.

Finally, when offered either a blow job, regular sex, or a fancy tv, his response was "Regular sex... a blow job feels good, but it isn't the immersive pleasurable experience that sex is."

And then I sexed him for being so eloquent! I kid... by the way, I <3 oral. The End.

[stephanie]

Hi, this is Steph's hubby writing in response to this highly scientific study of oral sex enjoyment...rather in response to Steph shoving the laptop in my face and telling me that I just HAD to answer this question........ :-)

My absolute candid fave is:

...teasing with the tongue...up and down the shaft, lick on the balls for a little while...and then, after it gets really REALLY good, jump off into sex.

I'll capture it this way: I will never complain about getting an all-the-way BJ from my wife...but it is so much more erotic and enjoyable when I get to share the climax WITH her. Maybe its conceited, but it's a "mmhmm, that's MY good work there!" kinda thrill ;-)

Ok, Honey...back over to you...
P

[Bianca W]

LOVING everyone's response. Wahaahahaaahaah!!!!

[Bianca W]

LOVING everyones response. Wahaahahaaahaah!!!!

[Michele]

Can I just ask...is starting with oral and then finishing with sex ok in terms of vag infections ...i.e. is it more likely to give you one? But then again I suppose it is no different to them doing oral on you....well I guess their tongue can't reach as far! :-P

[Bev]

You've really started something here, Tertia! :)

[Chris]

From a guy's point of view I'd prefer my partner to swallow. I think a person feels really bad if you cum and your partner is gagging, choking and spitting. It's like giving a woman an orgasm and pulling out just as she cums. It's a real turnoff at the worst possible time. If my partner doesn't swallow I would respect her for that and not cum in her mouth, rather during sex. But I would always enjoy a good BJ.

[A]

My husband loves a BJ, but I usually only give it to him if he is wearing a condom. Have done it once or twice without the condom, but then I revert to hand when he nears his climax. Sorry, I just can't abide bodily fluids in my mouth.

[donna]

I am surprised nobody has mentioned the Bukkake! A personal favourite of my husbands...though not as a group activity!!! google it...

[sar]

The hubs wants to know how long until the next BJ or sexin' if he chooses tv. Um...with that answer, I'm thinking a week.

[mn guy]

I can't believe that there are still women that don't give oral. At first, I was thinking "I hope their partners don't provide cunnilingus", but then I realized, these are probably the same ladies who don't want/allow their men to go down on them. Which is sad.

[Mike]

So, from a guys perspective, I have to agree with everything everyone has said about acceptance and closeness, it is really hot when a girl swallows because of everything it implies - she is turned on, she wants/loves you, she is willing to go out of her way to please you, etc.

And yes, it does feel a LOT better, there is no interruption to the flow and stimulation is generally increased during the orgasm leading to amazing heights of pleasure.

I also think that swallowing makes it a lot more like actual sex, and no one wants to feel responsible for their partner choking.

In fact,I would almost say that if she wasn't going to swallow, it wouldn't be worth it at all. Far better to jump from a blowjob into sex - blowjobs are much better as foreplay than as an end in themselves.

That said, as foreplay, nothing beats them, not at all.

I would never choose a blowjob over sex if there was a choice, sex is infinitely more intimate; the feeling of your partner moving and coming with you is a huge amplification of any orgasm, as well as an emotional explosion.

I am not sure how many girls are aware of this but when girls come hard, they 'milk' the guy they are with - and it feels absolutely fantastic.

As for TV - never in a million years would i ever choose a tv over either sex or a blowjob, any guy who would is crazy - although that may just be my opinion (I hate TV with a passion and find such gadgets an irritation).

PS, to Bianca W -
No it doesn't increase chances of any kind of infection, him giving you oral is more dangerous if he has cold sores. Saliva is remarkably sterile, particularly during sex, and if he comes inside you, the PH balancing and 'cleaning' effect of the semen will rapidly clean out anything bad - you have little to worry about unless you have a noticeable infection in your mouth (at which point i doubt you would be wanting to give head anyway)

Sorry for the long post.

[Melanie]

Well...I'm not going to ask him. Because I'm afraid he'd take the tv.

Maybe not. But if I had my way, we'd have about twice or three times the sex we have now. He's cool with once a week.

I think a lot of the reason he likes BJs so much is that when we have regular sex, he always pulls out. Now, this is silly, because I'm on birth control and how good is pulling out anyway, like, 30% or some nonsense? But he only likes to....NOT pull out when we're trying for a baby. I don't know, seems weird to me, but its his thing so whatever. I guess its psychological. But with a BJ, I swallow....so there's no pulling out. Which has to be better, logically.

[Lexie2007]

Well 4 me I'm a guy n the reason I n other guys love blowjobs is becuz..just seeing ur wife/girlfriend's head down in our groin area is a big turn on..her head going up n down is breath taking,..n also sum girls always think their doing it wrong or giving it wrong..but honestly just seeing her mouth on our shaft is the best picture n feeling on the earth..n I guess her mouth is wet that reminds us of her groin area....that's the best answer I can give u coming from a guy n oh it feels amazing!!!!!