Spit or swallow or No Thank You, not for me

I know this is a little risqué, but its not as if you are a bunch of blushing virgins, now are you!

A friend of mine (truly!) wants to know the answer to this question, and I said I would ask all of you. Because, besides the one or two assholes that lurk on this blog, I would say you probably represent the ‘average’ (incredibly good looking, witty and charming) woman out there.

My friend’s (seriously, it is not me who wants to know, I really do have a friend who wants to know this stuff) husband is trying to convince her that there are women out there who really, truly love giving copious amounts of oral sex to their husbands and who, according to him, actually love like don’t mind swallowing.

So dear average woman, is my friend’s husband a lying bastard, or does he have a point? (no pun intended)

Edited to add: My friend and her husband were laughing and teasing each other when they asked me to post this question. It was more about teasing each other than him making her do something she didn't want to do, promise. It was a tongue in cheek (penis in mouth?) type of thing.

Comments

[stephanie]

Wow, first to answer! Umm, well, I personally enjoy giving, and do enjoy swallowing- can be very sensual. BUT, doing it that way can leave the woman feeling rather unfulfilled, and really, who likes getting all worked up and then being left hanging?
We tend to incorporate it into our foreplay prior to sex, so that both can enjoy it- but all be fully satisfied in the end;-) A bj to the finish, so to speak, is a rare event in this house.

*Blushing* The things I tell the internets!

[sagewinna]

Oral is usually a warm up activity. Love to give it (and get it), but we never finish that way.

[Skippy]

From my very non-scientific survey of friends and their surveys of other friends and so on, it would seem that there is a strong correlation between those who likes olives and those who like to swallow (this works for women and for gay men). I'd be interested in another poll for some more data. However, for those of us in the know, it's fun to sit at parties and watch who keeps going back for more olives...

[Anonymous]

I am a beiever, I have to say. I don't particularly love to give them, but I don't mind the giving of them really. I am not particularly fond of the "big finish", but I do it anyway, all the way, because it seems to be a really big deal to him. In fact, I have a sort of "committment" to myself to do it, all the way, and usually in and of itself, at least once a month. I think it makes a happier husband, at least at our house. I will be very interested, indeed, to read your other comments...

[Tertia]

Skippy! hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! omg, i am so glad you shared that with us. will never look at those olive eaters in the same way again.

ps I think you might be right. I am 'so so' about olives. Don't hate them, but wouldn't miss them if they weren't around. Which pretty much sums up my attitude towards BJ's as well.

[Wendy]

what is other?

[Orange]

First of all, whether other women like to swallow or not is completely irrelevant in this case. She doesn't want to swallow, and she is his partner. End of story.

Sounds like he's picking up his "knowledge" of women's sexual likes from porn. I recently read this terrific roundup, from a woman in the sex industry, of the inaccuracies of porn. She says porn is not good for sex education, and viewers shouldn't assume that what they see reflects people's habits and preferences out here in reality. You can read it here. (Warning: it uses explicit terms.)

[Melody Brown, Cape Town]

Right now, I am gobsmacked that 25% are swallowers. I have not yet met a woman (you know how we talk) who has admitted to swallowing. wow. And I have only recently started enjoying olives.....maybe I shld try again? Um, no.

[Orange]

Wendy: Perhaps "Other" means gargling. That's what I'm gonna type in there!

[Tertia]

These are the 'other' answers so far:

get out of the way really quickly
Both are awful, so I sStop before it becomes an issue - too bad for him
Pre-Pregnancy = Swallow, Post-Pregnancy = No Thank you Never again
oral but not to climax

[Type (little) a]

Who is answering "No Thanks"?

How do you avoid giving blowjobs? Can we really do that? Is that an option? I used to HATE them, but that was when I was with a very selfish partner, and otherwise, ahem, very inexperienced sexually. Now, I actually enjoy it. Sometimes I even ASK for it. And I LOVE olives.

[Julie]

I LOVE olives
(....and that's all I am prepared to say on the subject - other than to add that hubby REALLY likes the fact that I love olives.......)

[DebbieS]

"Olive" the comments on this post! I won't voluntarily buy olives and eat them but I won't scrape them off the pizza, either. So to speak ;) Oral is a warm-up, mostly, that I enjoy very much, but I don't really end up finishing him off that way often enough to make a deal about not swallowing. My BFFE from college gave me the best advice ever when I was worried about it (long before I ever had to put it into practice!), and said that I would have so much saliva in my mouth at that point that it wasn't worth worrying about. And she was right! Although, don't ever try it with a guy who's been eating shrimp or lobster, even if you like seafood. BLECCCCH!

Diet peach Sn*apple is the best post-oral beverage, btw!

[Jess]

I am definitely a "no thanks" gal. We rarely do it to the finish because it hurts my jaw (and is good foreplay!) but when we do, he is Not Allowed to come in my mouth. As in, I would be very pissed if he did.

I agree though, that whether or not other women do it is irrelevant - if she doesn't want to, she shouldn't.

[Amanda]

Don't like olives, but don't mind the big finish. I have found the longer I am with my husband, the more I like giving, I'm not sure if it's because I'm better at it, or they are rarer (and therefore more appreciated) or what.

[Amber]

i agree with the first comment. enjoy giving, don't finish that way. the idea of spitting completely grosses me out, i mean the texture of that stuff isn't really conducive to easy spitting. have swallowed a few times, absolutely hate it.

[thrice]

Can anyone really say they enjoy the taste of semen? Come on....

Tertia, you are absolutely right! "Pre-Pregnancy = Swallow, Post-Pregnancy = No Thank you Never again oral but not to climax"

And Orange is right too. Men need to lose there porn ideals. Silly wankers, and I have to raise three of them. Ack!!!

[Sam]

*delurks*

If it is already in your mouth I believe swallowing is the quickest way to get rid of it. However, I prefer to finish it off by hand if you know what I mean.

[Abbie]

I don't particularly enjoy the finish, but I've always found that swallowing is quicker and more pleasant than trying to hold it in your mouth and run to the bathroom. Not that the question comes up much in our house... I'm happy to go down, but to actually get him off with oral alone is really, really time consuming and more of a special occasion thing.

I find it sensual and fun for the first five minutes and then I start thinking "Damn my jaw hurts, is that library book overdue, the cat is staring at us, the little pervert, I should really make a start on that paper tonight, hell let's just have intercourse so we can both get off and I can get something else accomplished before bed."

[Sam]

Also- I do NOT like olives. Ew!

[Amy]

I spit in the shower, because I can without making a mess, but I swallow outside the shower, because who wants to clean that up?

We do oral about as often as we have sex, mainly because I'm just too tired for regular sex right now. I'd say we average sex once a week and oral (for him) once a week, too. How sad, but that's the price of having two small kids who don't sleep through the night.

[Abbie]

And olives are delicious:)

[Beret]

Love Olives, hate swallowing. I will do it just up to the point of climax, then use my hand. TMI?

[kristylynne]

I don't particuarly enjoy giving a BJ, but I do now and then out of a sense of obligation, and I do enjoy being on the receiving end. As long as it's squeaky clean, it's not bad, but good lord if anything comes out I just gag.

[natt]

I adore olives and would eat them every day if I could.

I'm so so about BJs though, and have never swallowed. However, DH dislikes giving back IYSWIM, so he's been on a BJ ban for over a year - hey, if I dont get it, neither does he!

[Karly]

Its pretty rare that I finish a BJ, but when I do I finish with my hand. Except when I'm drunk and then I'll swallow. Or spit. Eh, I dunno. I do it all. I just do it all VERY RARELY. Oh, and I LOVE olives, but definitely do not enjoy swallowing.

[Tracey]

(I can't believe I'm delurking to comment on this post!)... Orange is right. Should be whatever she is comfortable with, end of story. If he is trying to harass her into something she is not keen on (and based on HEARSAY of what other women supposedly like - where does he get this information from anyway? - then he doesn't deserve to get any sort of oral sex. (Or any sex!)
Besides which, my question is, does it really make that much difference to the bloke whether the 'givee' spits or swallows?!

[Denise]

In the interests of both sex education and freedom of speech ... (nah, I'd pretty much tell this to anyone) ...

OK - I love olives. A lot. Green, salty, briny ones - and I love the brine on it's own. I'm not a spirits drinker but if I'm in the mood I like my vodka martinis VERY DIRTY. Actually - I think I'd drink olive brine 1:1 with vodka - is that a recognized concoction?

Anyway - I swallow. Wouldn't even think of doing it any other way. Perhaps it's the mess factor. Perhaps it's the mysterious "olive factor."

That's just me, though, and I couldn't dream of being pushed into something I was uncomfortable with by someone I love.

[Mary]

I love oral sex and I love swallowing. Of course, I probably receive more oral than I give because my boyfriend enjoys giving even more than I do.

[Shandra]

I have to agree with previous comments that this guy needs to love the woman he's with and deal with her preferences and stop bothering her about it.

[Egg Donor (ret.)]

I don't like to give it, but I'll do it. If he finishes, I sawllow unless we're in the shower, because I can't figure out what the spitting would involve. Do you get up with a mouthful and go to the bathroom? Use a tissue? Those all seem to make an even bigger deal of something unplesant anyway.

[Kristine]

I'm sure this falls in the TMI category...but in my youth, with my first boyfriend post college, I was quite happy to give BJ's, although I was also quite new to the concept. One time though, his release was so powerful in to my mouth that it hit my gag reflex and I threw up. Kind of ruined the joy for both of us, and pretty much has kept me from swallowing since then. I prefer to finish off with my hand. I actually get a huge thrill at seeing how far I can make it fly. Personal best was when it landed in his ear.

[anon]

Umm I'm selfish and only do it on special occasions. In fact, I do it so rarely that I can't tell you whether it's A or B. I'm mean!

[anon]

I adore olives, and I adore swallowing. Only with my most recent partner though, I hated swallowing with my ex. I couldn't tell you why, but I did. And I can't say I *adore* the taste, but I do like it.

[Mama-Beans]

HA HA HA HA HA!!!! In..... His EAR... HA HA HA HA!!!!

*ahem*

Love olives.. and stuff.

[Tanya]

I don't give them. Won't give them. It repulses me. I don't feel I should do something I am completely uncomfortable with. Call me a bad wife, but I just can't do it. Anyone else with me?

[Suzi]

ha ha ha - in his ear!!!! love it!!! must try it.

I'm a finisher a la hand. TMI, I am sure, but the consistency is too much like the crap I'm trying to cough up in allergy season -why the hell would I swallow that gunk? When faced with that reasoning, boy usually shuts up.

And not to highjack the comments - but I swear I must the be only woman in the world who doesn't like to receive it.

oh well.

[Miss January]

I heard that one should feed him strawberries....lots of them....and it makes it taste sweeter and not so salty. Worth a try!

[Julie]

We'll just say, on this topic "talk to the hand", shall we? But OMG! Kristine, you totally made me spit something out...oh, wait...just orange soda. Freaking hilarious! Tertia, I am so glad you are not the "shy" kind of blogger! :-)

[Lisa]

LOL to it landing in his ear!!! Impressive. :)

Hate olives. Love giving (and getting) oral. LIVE for the oral. I will swallow sometimes (I can't recall ever spitting...can't understand that one), and it has once or twice been quite erotic for me...but can't say I enjoy the taste. I answered "other" since do oral pretty much every time we have sex, just almost never to the finish.

I also agree that the important thing is how your friend feels about it, not anyone else. Fun topic, T!

[Misti]

A woman should be enthusiastic about sexual activity; unless you can fake it convincingly, just don't even bother.

My husband put it to me this way "You tell me you enjoy giving head...and then you go hack over the sink...that doesn't make one feel very loved or wanted or make me believe you enjoyed it."

Yes, I swallow. Please. It's just semen.

[Jessica]

I usually swallow and have only spit once (similar experience to Kristine). Spitting just complicates things. It's not really about the taste of it (yeah, the taste isn't that great, but it's not horrid) but the act of swallowing itself - it is erotic for me and for him. That being said, sometimes it is also erotic to finish him by hand and, hmm, see where it ends up.

I'd say about half the oral sex I perform is oral to the finish, the other half is oral as part of foreplay. That adds up to oral alone on an average of twice a week coupled with oral as foreplay three or four other times a week. (I'm 24 and he's 25 - no kids, all sex - haha)

I agree with the consensus here - whether or not your friend's husband has a valid point doesn't really need to impact their sexual relationship. It's about what she is capable of being comfortable with. However, as a matter of curiosity, this is a great topic of discussion!

[Anon]

Well for him to GET one he has to be a very very good boy. And have never stayed down there long enough for him to 'finish', usually done as foreplay. Works for us.

[Amy]

Wow Jessica, impressive. I remember those days. Enjoy them ;)

[Lynn]

Other? Other - what else would you do? Oh wait - I guess just stop before...duh.

[Lisa]

Oral as foreplay in this house. He'd love it if I would swallow, but I hate olives so that will never happen. I told him I'd swallow right after he let me take a big dump in the middle of his chest, that's how erotic it would be for me.

[Carol]

Does No Thank You mean you won't do it at all, or you will do it but neither spit nor swallow because he pulls out in time? Just checkin.'

[Melissia]

Don't laugh, but it just seems rude to spit! Although I did once read that semen has on average 11 calories, which does bother me. What a waste of 11 calories.

[anon for this]

His ear! LOL! That is plain awesome. Must try.

Tersh, what about those of us who have lost the *spark*? Used to want sex, now couldn't care less? BJ or anything else, I am just "meh" these days and too afraid to talk to the doc about it. If you can blog about blow jobs, can I request a post on that?

[Tertia]

'Other' answers so far:
266477 depends on my mood
266475 Finish the "traditional" way, during intercourse.
266466
266465 depends on mood
266456
266452
266451 stop right before and "help" him finish
266447 Just not in my mouth
266427 Don't mind performing the service, but make your "deposit" elsewhere.
266411 move mouth at crucial moment
266388 Dont' like to do it but will swallow occasionally just for him.
266385 I guess technically I spit, but really I just let it fall out of my mouth by not
266384
266382 When I blow jobber, I swallowed . . . I no longer give blow jobs because, no mat
266379
266368 Swallow, on the rare (annual?) occasion that he gets me down there.
266363
266362 he doesn't like bj
266357 yes, bj, but not to 'completion'
depends on my mood, lol!!
266560
266557
266555
266553
266548
266544
266531
266529
266528 get out of there before the need to do either
266527 pull away just in time?
266520
266515
266512
266501 Swallow but grudgingly
266500
266495
266485 love to do it, but I use my hands for the big finish
6353 I take on a little, then pull away.
266351
266345
266344
266343 move away at the crucial moment
266341
266339
266332 um, he "finishes" elsewhere...
266328
266325 both! depends on the day/time/allergies/etc.
266313
266306 swallow only because spitting is worse
266292
266281
266268 oral as foreplay, not to the big finish
266263 stop before he comes
266262
266250 oral is foreplay (by his choice!)
266213
266211 gargle
266207
266206
266204 get out of the way really quickly
266200 Both are awful, so I sStop before it becomes an issue - too bad for him
266199
266191
266190 both
266182 Pre-Pregnancy = Swallow, Post-Pregnancy = No Thank you Never again
266179
266175 oral but not to climax
266171
266152 I refuse to finish him off with my mouth...EWWWW!

[anon on this one!]

Tell your friend that its worth doing every once in a while, it's like changing the oil in your car, I rarely want to do it, but things run so much better if it's done regularly.

I swallow so that I don't have to wash the sheets the next day. Also, if you spit, where would you spit it out? seems strange. Also, it doesn't really count if you do it as foreplay, they want to get spoiled, and it totally pays off for me in our house.

[anon on this one!]

266326 isn't doing it right!

[L.]

LOVE olives. Swallow, but don't LOVE it; it's okay. Can't imagine spitting though--that seems rude, like I'd be expressing disgust. I've always worried a little bit about what the guy thinks about how I taste, so the least I can do is return the courtesy. And there is something a little erotic about it, too.

Clearly you need a second poll to further explore the olive question.

[L.]

Also--"Gargle"--what? Are you actually gargling the semen? I'm so confused!

[anonToday]

I'm with Tanya on this one. Cannot bring myself to do it. He'll live.

[Tertia]

L, the 'gargle' comment was probably Orange taking the piss! Cheeky little shit!

[Anon]

Okay, I seem to be absolutely alone in teh world on this, but I have a) never even considered the possibility of finishing with my hand, and b) never even considered spitting. So I'm a swallow all the way. The taste may not be great, but it's not bad either. I'm with Misti, it's not like the semen is going to hurt me.

However, for the record, I DETEST olives.

[Skippy]

By swallowing I don't necessarily mean actively liking the taste. I like some sorts of olives, which also corresponds to swallowing with some blokes (I couldn't even bring myself to give my ex a BJ - no idea why, just made me gag - but love them at times with the current boyfriend) but there's still no way I'd contemplate spreading semen on toast for breakfast.

So - semen - the Marmite of sex?

[summer]

OMG I cant believe how many woman swallow, have you guys seen those buggers under a microscope???
Yuck, absolutely no swallowing and I need to add that nothing beats just having sex, not even a good bj.

[hot mama]

As soon as it is in your mouth, kiss him....

[Ok it was me]

he he he, you girls are very funny. I wanted to ask on my blog but it is too respectable for that and connected to my business. Here is the thing.... the thought of swallowing thick sticky semen does gross me out and I am really scared I puke and totally ruin the moment. My hubby would never force me or emotionally blackmail me to do anything I didn't like. I even joke that if he lets me spit it back into his mouth and he doesn't puke, then I am game.
I think I need to get very drunk and try it. I don't mind the BJ bit and I am rather partial to me experiencing oral sex (selfish lover syndrome)so I guess I better share and care.
I did say he could come in my mouth for his 70th birthday (in 32 years time)which I think is a lovely gift.
Olives will never be the same again!

[cupcake]

DH could not understand why I don't relish the thought of swallowing , so I turned the tables on him ... I made him ejaculate into a shot glass & then offered it to him. He refused to swallow his own semen, ha ha! Talk about double standards. Needless to say, we don't have the spit/swallow debate anymore LOL!

[Jelly]

Wow. This is juicy. So to speak!

I never, ever understood the spitting thing. I mean - gross! It's in your mouth already, why go through the disgusting ritual of sending it back out?? I can understand finishing with your hand or something else.

To tell you the truth, apart from the sore jaw I don't mind giving BJs. I wouldn't say I love it, but I do love how much my husband loves it. LOVES IT. And it's over in a couple of minutes (if that). So if I can't be bothered with the whole sex thing (you know, clean sheets night, I've just had a shower, I'm tired...) then a quick BJ and he goes to sleep with a smile on his face and so do I. Happy to swallow. Doesn't taste bad. He loves giving to me too, but I've got to say I'm not a huge fan. Makes me weird, I'm sure! Prefer the hand for foreplay. I don't usually orgasm during sex but my husband always makes sure I do afterwards. BJs for him are either foreplay, or the whole enchilada.

Now has anyone given a BJ after sex? I just cannot, cannot EVER see me doing that. But I'd love to know if anyone else is adventurous enough! Just can't do it. I know where it's been!!

[Normal]

While I don't really mind going "down under", I do have a rather sensitive stomach and the though of swallowing makes me gag. The last thing I really want to do is to end up puking on the guy, not sure how that would affect any future sex!!!
I would actually like to know whether or not this would be such a huge issue if women actually shot cum out of their vaginas and whether or not THEY would be prepared to swallow. So my challenge would be that if he was prepared to swallow his own cum first, I'll consider it!!!!!

[SCY]

Also can not believe how many swallowers we have! Personally I LOVE olives, but am ambivilent to BJ's. Not my favourite thing to do (have a really bad gag reflex while doing it and jaw gets sore), but I do it to keep my man happy - mostly as foreplay and on the odd occassion for a finish but I finish with Mrs Palm. Swallowed once with him but ended up puking all night, so needless to say we don't go there anymore!

[V]

I gag!! I will give a BJ and then pull out (rather, pull him out) at the crucial moment. As soon as any semen goes into my mouth I gag. It's involuntary. He knows this therefore it takes him very much longer to climax because he is scared to come in my mouth! But he still loves my BJs and I give them so that I can get some in return (which are really great!).
By the way, I think it tastes like Brie cheese and I really hate Brie cheese! Sometimes I like olives though.

[Anon]

Love olives - after todays blog, will never ever ever freekin eat olives or marmite again! DISGUSTING!

[Chickenpig]

I think oral sex is just one of many items on the sex buffet. I can't really see doing anything else BUT swallowing, I think it would be kind of rude and insulting to my husband to do otherwise. Right now I'm pregnant, and just as when I was pregnant with the twins, I'm sure it will get to a point where oral sex becomes easier and more fulfilling than other alternatives. However, this time around my gag reflex has become terribly strong, I can't even brush my teeth, so poor hubby has to wait until the third trimester in hopes that things improve. Of course, if he was unwilling to reciprocate I wouldn't be so eager to *ahem* please. Guys who want BJ's but don't want to perform oral sex for their partners really piss me off.

I don't see the olive-oral sex connection. I think that oral sex and eating raw oysters might be a better correlation but that's just me. I like some olives, but not others...there are thousands of different kinds out there. Which ones are we talking about? What if you prefer those little gerkin pickles?

[Scoop]

It's usually a foreplay thing for us too, but if I go to the party, I usually stay for the fireworks. The way I see it, is it's actually MORE work, and MORE disgusting to spit. You have to get it all to the front, and at that point it's covered your whole tongue, and let's face it, it's sticky. Nope, as long as he's at the back of my mouth, I just let it continue right on down.

[Tertia]

More 'other' answers

266965 NEITHER!
266964 happy to give, but pull out before the finish
266903 over my dead body!!! and he doesnt mind
266892 depens how i feel, either swallow or disengage before it's too late
266666 fruit flavoured condoms!
266655
266639 finish off using your hand
266624 I don't mind giving it, but don't swallow
266601 when the mood strikes
266597
266593 Only on special occasions...like leap year or some rare meteor shower that comes
266582 love to give, but NO SWALLOWING thank you!
266568 depends on my mood, lol!!

266528 get out of there before the need to do either
266527 pull away just in time?
266501 Swallow but grudgingly
266500
266495
266485 love to do it, but I use my hands for the big finish

[Jen]

I must be one of the very few women who has never given a blow-job. Tried once, and couldn't manage at all. Made me gag after only a few seconds in. Hate, hate , HATE the thought of it!

If mate's partner isn't into it, but their sex life is okay otherwise, I think he simply has to deal. He's getting off anyway (which many women can't say they do on a regular basis, from what I hear amongst my friends), so can't see why he'd complain! Seems to me that sex is often easier for men - an orgasm every time with little effort.

[Wyliekat]

A qualified no thank you. I am/was reasonably religious about the Sunday blowjob with my ex and imagine that I'd be equally devoted to the task with someone else. And I don't really mind the trips downstairs. But I don't do completion by anything but hand. It's foreplay, for the most part.

[Lena]

I can't remember when last I laughed sooo much. Nearly wet myself.

I'm going in for egg retrieval tomorrow morning and my hubbies "sample" has to be delivered the same time. I normally "help him out" as he doesn't really manage on his own... ANYWAY (over-share)... how am I going to perform tomorrow morning with all these comments in my head?

Bye the way, I love olives, but tried the swallow thing about twice, gross! I'm defenitely an "other".

[Lena]

Why do they call it a BLOW job? There's no blowing involved.

[Emily]

Well, I love olives, but I'm firmly in the "No Thanks" category. I've given 1 BJ in my life and it was long before my husband came along.

[Kimberly]

Hate olives, but I will swallow. I don't mind giving BJs, but what deters me the most is the sore jaw afterward!

Swallowing rocks the gentleman's world for some reason, but I also have a strong gag reflex. My solution is curling my tongue up to touch the top of my mouth, blocking the back of my throat and pulling back at the last minute so that my lips are around just the tip of him. The gentleman is so crazed at that point he doesn't realize/care about the minor tactical change, and I keep from gagging.

Any tips for preventing the sore jaw are welcome.

[j]

Not a swallower. Semen does not go in my mouth. Ever. Force it on me and it will be the last BJ you ever get from me. And you'll be lucky to not have your wang bitten off.

Thanks to mom's shack-up boyfriend who thought it was awesome to have little girls blow him, I have a very difficult time even going down on a man. But now and then, I do it, enjoy it, but I don't do it for hours. lol

Every woman should be able to say yes or no to what she does with her body at all times. Trying to cajole a woman into sexual favors is just wrong. Her body, her voice. Her words, yes or no, come first. (no pun intended)

The guy is wrong. It shouldn't matter what any other woman does. If his wife says no, respect it. Respect her.

[anonymous]

Just wanted to say, I thought "No Thank You" meant no to spit or swallow but NOT no blow job. I doubt I'm the only one. If "No Thank You" means "No blow job" then I need to change my vote to "other". We use it more as foreplay but I really don't think I could ever swallow (also I hate olives). One last thing is we kind of got out of the habit of oral in general with trying to get pregnant because saliva can kill sperm. There are also theories you may form antibodies to the sperm if you swallow it.

[T$]

I guess I'm a rarity, from the commenters. I love to give bjs, love to swallow, love to have him so thrilled with me. My bf was thrilled when we first started dating... of course, fastforward three years later and he likes to break the cardinal rule of pleasing me after... so I've stopped given them as often. It's just not fair, you know? But I still do like the whole process start to finish. I've been told I'm quite good, so I don't know if it's a case of practice makes perfect, or if being told you're amazing makes you love the process more. Not sure.

Interestingly enough I cannot stand olives.

[T$]

Oh also -

Kimberly - no suggestions for a sore jaw, except that I've found that it helps to focus on something else other than that... like, a tv on in the background. Listening instead of concentrating on soreness helps me. Also you can always say, my jaw is getting sore if you don't get off soon, I'm done!! That'll speed it up a bit. :)

Jelly - I have gone down on my man after after sex, but never anal that would be disgusting, naturally. I haven't finished him in that case scenario, but it's used as a part of sex, and then we go back to what we were doing before. :)

Whew, this was nerve racking writing this at work!

[Nixgrim]

NO WAY do I give BJs now. I used to, but had several gagging experiences that left me with a psychological 'thing' about them. I figure that it just isn't worth it anymore - throwing up tends to be a serious turn-off! I can't believe how many of you enjoy it - a real eye-opener for me.

[DebbieS]

Brie cheese! Yes, "V" made it all clear to me. I love Brie. Don't "love" to swallow, but this explains why I don't actually mind, either, because I don't care for olives. Nice to have that cleared up now =)

[anon]

Glad I am not the only one who sees BJs primarily as foreplay and prefers to finish the job in another way. That way, I actually enjoy BJs. But can I just ask, when did sexual acts have to involve gagging and being so nauseated that you dread it next time? Is that perhaps giving too much? Would our guys gag for us?

[Libby]

Love olives, always swallow. Don't love bj's though I'll do them if I love you. :o) But, if he puts his hands on my head it's all over - cannot stand that.

[Elizabeth]

Occasionally we will take a BJ all the way to fulfillment and when we do its swallow not spit. Sometimes I'll even share it with my husband, which turns him on even more. Spitting would be rude. You don't see men spitting while they go down on a woman not even if it's a g-spot gusher.

The only agreed upon rule we have is no oral after eating asparagus. Makes things bitter.

Call us kinky...
Jelly, we enjoy oral after penetration, but not after anal.
Normal, I don't have a problem tasting my own cum and in fact am very turned on by it. Where do you think his fingers were before he put them in your mouth?

[Edgyblue]

I actually selected the wrong option in the poll, forgive me, I was busy watching my son eat hummus for the first time (hilarious btw, he loves garlic). Anyway, I hate olives, and really, truly love giving copious amounts of oral sex and don’t mind swallowing.

[Cakes]

It's just part of it. No big deal.

[Paula]

I've always swallowed and I do love giving blow job's...I do it before sex (w/ the big finish) then we have some cuddle time and then sometimes I will do it after sex. He loves it so much and loves it more that I love it. But he also loves giving me oral so it's a win win situation.

[christine]

I'm probably not going to give an original answer, but oh well. I hate blow jobs. HATE. I'll do oral as foreplay, or maybe do half oral, half hand job, but he is to NEVER cum in my mouth. 1. My jaw hurts and I don't think I could ever last long enough 2. It tastes disgusting. 3. I'm not into it, and if he ejaculated in my mouth anyway, that would be really disrespectful and there would be hell to pay.

[sarah]

Love the oral!!!
Giving blow jobs to my husband of 15 years is one of my favourite things in the world. I swallow but would roll around in the stuff if there were enough. Sometimes I don't know whether I prefer the swallow or the coming all over me.
Kissing afterwards is fine, as is sharing.
I have been known to get a hair or something and having to vomit, but it's not really the end of the world. Just part of being a natural sexual human with a body.

[Deanna]

Hee! I was so bitchy the last time I commented, I feel the need to share in the fun this time to redeem myself.

I love "getting" and thus, "giving" is required. Swallowing has never been an issue for me, thankfully; the guy has always understood that I have a weird gag reflex. I answered "other," if we've been drinking and I'm feeling really relaxed, I'll swallow, otherwise we incorporate the BJ into foreplay. If it's that time of the cycle, he can just go on his belly. My husband is a pretty relaxed kind of guy, though...he's just happy to play, no matter what he gets!

[Andrea]

Hey, now I LOVE olives, BUT oral? Uh, not quite. I'll do it, but I beg of you - DON'T MAKE ME SWALLOW!!!

[Megan]

Wow. So this is total overshare, but hey, it's the net, so who's going to know?
After reading all this all day, I felt inspired to give swallowing one last time...just so happens that I'm on my period and was feeling sorry for the poor boy, so I took care of him...and even though it wasn't the greatest thing in the world, if he's back far enough, you really barely even taste it/notice it unless you're really focusing on it. So I'm officially changing my response, because the look on his face when I didn't switch to using my hand when he was all I'm getting close was priceless.

[Max Kaizen]

:'-D how many of us have de.lurked to contribute to this debate?! wow
T you curate some fascinating convo's LOL! this is hilarious.

just a quick question: inevitably if you like olives, you have to spit (what the hell else do you do with the pip?)

I wonder what other kind of peculiar indicators there are out there [also wonder how many MEN secretly know the olive thing? Will have to be very surreptitious about snack behaviour from now on]

[mary]

Other equals condom use.

[Nic]

seems as though men are not so keen on commenting on this post at all... strange that.

Anyways, I think that you ladies make some interesting points (no pun intended). Some good, some just plain wrong and some, well, interesting.

My opinion? I couldn't actually care less if it's spit, swallow, gargle, olive, or any other method for that matter. But for those of you who say that BJ's are a "No Way" I must tell you that you are in for disappointment. Your man might say it's OK, but he has friends, he's had other partners and they all talk or have done it for him. He knows what he's missing and it IS an issue. Whatever you might think, heed my warning. It's an issue.

[Yeah Right!]

Nic,

"it IS an issue. Whatever you might think, heed my warning. It's an issue".

Glad I'm not the person in a relationship with you. Why would it be such an "issue" if a man loves a woman and she is not comfortable with it? I think anything goes in the bedroom as long as BOTH parties are happy with it. Surely a BJ can not be such big a deal in a healthy, happy relationship.

[Paul]

The olive thing is news to me. I'll try an olive next time I have a pizza or something ...

I thought the comments would be exciting (I mean, it is an exciting topic, at least for me as a guy) but they have pretty much put me off BJs. I'm not going to talk about what my wife and me get up to cause I just don't share that much. On the other hand I do have a couple stray thoughts about this.

I realise that it is not the most wonderful experience ever for a lot of women (and a positively awful experience for some). I also agree strongly that a no-one should feel obligated to do something he/she doesn't want to do. It is also important to me that my partner enjoy doing what she is doing for whatever reason (whether it is the experience itself or what it means to her on some level, whatever) so when I read about how women do it because they feel obligated to do it or because it beats watching paint dry (ok, I made that one up) then it all becomes pretty pointless.

I'm young so I am probably still a bit naive and have this crazy notion that sex should be fun. There is no fun it is obligatory. As fake as it is (and we know it is, just like pro wrestling), I think the porn vision of sex is sometimes more fun ...

[Bridget]

I used to be an extremely reluctant blowjobber, until I spoke to a friend of mine who gave me some excellent tips. Now I'm a BJ pro, so I really enjoy giving them. Seeing that amount of pleasure in the man you love is irresistible... And I don't mind swallowing. Not a bit. It's only a couple of seconds and it's gone, anyway. For the record, not an olive fan!

[Dido]

oh, i am sooo excited, i am going to the 100th poster on this crazy topic (if i type fast!) (btw, thank you tertia, once again, this has been so hillarious! :-)
i keep giggling as i read this and the (male) colleague sitting opposite me just told me "ok, either share it with us, or just stop!" :-)))

so... when i was young, i did all sorts of stuff.
when i got married, i still did it - although i never ever received it.
was that the reason that i eventually stopped swallowing...? never thought of it. but quite probable...

anyway, i'm getting divorced now - maybe the little secretary who wasn't busy raising a newborn swallowed....??

hm... no regrets here really - just looking forward to someone new who will, finally, be ready to give too - and not only receive....
then i'll be more than happy to go back to swallowing - for the right kind of lover! can't wait... ;-)

and yes, i love olives ;-)