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One might think "Such a pain that there isn’t a local version of Paypal. Grrr. "

An other might think of it as an opportunity for a lucrative new business. Think big dreams, my friend. You have lots of contacts!

OTs here have chewy tubes for kids who benefit from extra muscle input. I've seen clear tubing, about 1.5 to 2 cm in diameter; this site has colored ones. Not sure if having that in his pocket or attached to his shirt by a cord would be useful for Adam. Now, convincing him to target a tube rather than a kid who's frustrating him is another story.

Yikes. I've been on both ends of the preschool biting incidents. Neither side is fun. First days of school are hard. You're all trying to work the newness out - teacher, kids and parents. It sounds like the teacher is a "team player" though and that should make this year go smoother.

I'm dealing this year with a know it all teacher who isn't receptive to MY child's needs and it's very frustrating. It's the first time I've had this experience with a teacher but I'm sure it won't be the last.

Hey, did I miss something. Is Rose still with you? I don't think we've heard about her in a while??

Sorry to hear about the biting incident. NOT unusual at preschools, with this age group! Still it sounds like school is a positive environment for Adam, and the teacher is interested in getting to know him and how to support him. (How did she manage to spend so much time with him one on one? That's amazing.) Adam is happy to go to school, so things will probably continue to go very well. I hope you and the teacher can find the best ways to teach Adam that while his biting behaviour was not acceptable, he himself is a wonderful and special child who is very welcome at school. Yes, this is one setback, but the big picture looks excellent for both Adam and Kate.
best wishes,

Great that you had already discussed Adam's sensitivities with her so she had more necessary information when the biting incident occurred!

pleasepleaseplease remember that biting is pretty common - with our without sensory issues. My boys have bitten and been bitten and while I was ashamed when they bit, I tried to put things in perspective when they were bitten.

biting is not acceptable, that ist true. but it is also true that it is very normal. my son has no sensory issues, was in a crèche since he was very little. BUT: he was a really bad biter when he was about 2 years old and did it again between 2.5 and 3 years, but not so often. and i know many oder kids that bite or did bite, especially boys. so, be firm, but don't be to anxious about that.

If you search the archives at Ask Moxie, one of her boys went through a biting phase and I think she gave him something he actually *could* bite. I think she used a puppy chew toy but perhaps, as another commenter mentioned above, they actually make things for kids for this use now. :-)

T - awesome news about the school registration fees being all set. So very proud of you in how you've used your blog to help this family, and hope you will give us more opportunities to help.

Back to the issue of Masande's registration fees: my dear friend, one of my (and many others') favourite people in the whole world, Mr Nelson Mandela once said "a good head combined with a good heart is always a formidible combination". You truly are a shining example of this. If Masande ever struggle with anything in his studies, please let me know and I may be able arrange some help, as I have contacts and friends in the ChemEng dept at UCT who may be able to help/explain/tutor etc. Good luck to him for a brilliant future.
TT

I am so glad that Masande's fees are covered - and sorry that I missed out on donating this time. Best of luck to him in his studies!!

Another tidbit of input on the biting...many kids this age will resort to biting because they don't have the words yet to say what they feel. They may know the words, but conveying them when they feel the emotion that is setting them off is a huge step. Many of my speech kids bite until they are 5 or 6, simply because they can't form the words for the emotions they are feeling. Still not acceptable, but perhaps another way to look at it?

Have you read Aletha Solter "helping young children flourish"? Not a quick, easy or simple solution, but a real one.

i think the most important thing to remember about children who bite(most children) is to focus NOT on the biting but on the emotion that causes the biting. frustration. .often it is something they dont want to happen(toy being taken away,someone coming to close,talking over them..)give the child the words to use when they feel frustrated
look them in the eye, confirm the feeling "adam, you are feeling frustrated"
"adam,you need to use your words" say to child and get him to repeat- "stop!(use hand signal) i dont like that " this can be used in any situation, fights with sister etc.
give him a hug, and reasure him, he is probably upset about what he has done.
children at this age are still trying to name emotions, and work out how to deal with them.
my son bit for quite a few months between 2-3, it is hard..
he would bite whenever overcome with emotion, upon greeting his best friend, big hug - big bite! frustration, etc.

This is a bit of a weird thing to say but we had similar problems with our foster kid and found that what worked best for us is to accept the naughtiness and help her accept it.

She would do really well and be trying so hard to be a good kid but then it would all get too much and she'd do something that she knew was wrong. Usually it was pushing another kid or saying something mean or she'd just break down in tears and try to hurt herself. After fighting this with time outs and apologies we found that just talking to her and telling her that she was okay worked best.

She was under so much pressure, but telling her that we knew sometimes she'd be naughty because everyone is naughty sometimes really helped. She still had consequences but rather than talking to her about the bad thing she'd done we talk to her about how she was feeling when she did the bad thing. It helped her a lot to know that she wasn't expected to be perfect.

She's five and has a lot of trouble dealing with other kids due to her background so I know it's not the same with Adam, but you might want to try it, it might help him feel calmer knowing that sometimes it will be hard and he will make mistakes.

YEAH!!! So glad to hear that all monies have been collected! Well done!

Tertia, I use setcom.com for my business - there is a donate button too and you can put a minumum.

If you want to see how it's set up, you can go to http://tinyurl.com/2bncn2 to have a look at my shopping cart.

Maybe set up something like this for next time, and then you can withdraw funds into your local bank account after you're FICA'd, of course. Not a big issue - you just have to fax the usual stuff (ID, copy of bank statement, utility bill)

their staff are excellent - helps that they're South African so you can phone them up during our office hours.

Hope this helps

~Marcia

sorry, I am curious: how much has been collected? or is there a reason, why you do not tell? anyway, I'm very happy for masande and wish him all the best. and thank you!

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