Happy Birthday to me (Spot the Error)

I’ve never been one for parties. My own parties. I’ve always preferred to do something low key, something were I didn’t have to be the centre of attention. Yes, believe it or not, I used to be painfully shy when I was younger. And then I moved on to being just painfully self-conscious. I then graduated to being confident, yet still preferring to shun the limelight. And then somehow along the way of living the life I’ve been dished out, I got over all of that and I now am at peace with who I am, warts and all. I still don’t love being the centre of attention (I prefer chirping from the sidelines (bloglines)), but if I must, then I am able to do it with relative ease. Maybe I just care less what people think of me. Maybe it is just called growing older.

Speaking of which, it is my birthday today. In case you missed the Facebook announcement, the Google chat notification, the diary entry I put in your diary when we were drunk at last year’s Xmas bash, or the group SMS I sent everyone. It is the last year I am able to say (without lying), that I am in my thirties. My goodness, but this last decade flew past at lightening speed. Whoosh.

(Just read a very sweet post by my sister where she gives an account of our first few decades together. Don’t believe everything she says. Ok, so I did stick my finger up her bum, but I am sure I didn’t paint her nails?)

So, going back to the party thing. I never used to have birthday parties, but I decided to have a little braai yesterday afternoon. I invited my sisters and my neighbours. And my best friend Mel but she clearly hates me so much that she couldn’t bare to be around me (she was away). It was great having everyone there but OH MY GOD, it is so much hard work having people over. What was I thinking? I didn’t sit down once the entire day! What part of running around like a blue-arsed fly is supposed to be fun? Marko braai’ed and I did the salads and general kid duty (a typical South African tradition) and my friends and family had a lovely time drinking champagne and chatting. On my birthday. Can you spot the error?

Actually, it was divine. I drank lots of champagne and everyone* did help and do their thing. But it was a lot of work. And cleaning the mess afterwards! Plus dealing with the sugar laden kids! (Adam went to sleep at 9:30 last night!! Two hours after I put him in his bed!!)  I think I remember why I don’t like to have parties at my house – because the hostess ends up doing all the work!!! All I can say is thank goodness I married to Sergeant-Major Analtyn because he worked like a Trojan the whole day.

30 minutes before the guests arrived he was still doing his thing: (please note he also swept the driveway. The driveway!! Plus he put up the entire gazebo himself. I did try to help but he asked me not to. Apparently when I help, I make it harder for him to do stuff. Ok then.)

 

30 minutes before the guests arrived, I was doing my thing:

All in all, a great time was had by all and it was v nice having my friends (except for Ex-Friend Mel) and my family around.  I think next year I am going to have my party elsewhere though. Somewhere other people can cook and clean up afterwards ;-)

Anyway, there you have it. 39 years old. How the fuck did that happen!

(Marko annoyingly raised the bar this year in terms of gifts. Besides the new boobs (a gift for the both of us really), he also got me some really nice underwear (ditto) and a jewellery holder thingy that I wanted. Most annoying because now I have to give him more the usual aftershave and blowjob for his birthday next year. V tiresome)

*By "everyone" I mean all the women.  All the men sat around the braai watching Marko turn the meat.  This is what happens in South Africa.  The men are responsible for braaiing, or supporting (ie sitting around) the person who is braaiing, plus drinking. The women have to make the salads and everything else, lay the table, get everything else ready, watch the kids, wash the kids when they poop in the garden and then stand in it ("Sweetheart! Your daughter has just pooped in the garden!"), pour drinks, set out the chips, tidy up etc.  Watch this Youtube video for an excellent skit on the lovely South African tradition of braaiing.

Comments

[Kay]

Tertia, I hope you have a wonderful birthday today! Very funny video by the way!

[Robin from Israel]

Sounds like an Israeli bbq - what is it with men and burnt meat?...

Happy birthday Tertia, and here's to many more G&D years.

[snickollet]

Happy birthday, Tertia! Sounds like you celebrated in grand style.

[Maritza]

Happy, happy birthday!

Hope you have a splendid year ahead of you! Looking forward to another year of Tertiaisms...

[Wonder Woman]

A friend of my parents' just celebrated her 60th birthday. Her husband stood up in front of all of the guests and welcomed everyone to the 21st celebration of (his wife's) 39th birthday. I'm so using that one.

Happy birthday.

[Ms Porcelain]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY BEAST :)

[Emma]

I don't think I've ever heard South Africans speak English before today. I always thought it would sound like British-English, but it's more like a wonderful mixture of Australian-English (hope this is not a German-Dutch like equation, if so, forget about it) with the tiniest hunch of a Dutch/German accent. I love it!

Please make sure your book ships to Europe before you turn *gasp* fourty!

[vev]

Happy Birthday :D may there be many many more where this came from!

[Kelly]

Happy Birthday Tertia!

(Most) American men gather around the grill and gawk too. Must be instinctual or something.

[kristylynne]

Well, happy birthday then! 39 is not so bad. Happened to me this year, too. For the next one, I think I'll just have to stay in bed all day.

[Orange]

Happy birthday, you old hag!

That South African tradition, of men grilling while the women do everything else—that's sexism at work. The men have one duty while the women have to manage everything else, including the quality of the party experience for all the guests? Yeah. It sucks.

I'm a big fan of paying to have a party elsewhere, where other people do all the work. I am lucky that it's not a financial burden to have my kid's birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese--there's just the mental strain of having to be there at the time.

[Em]

Happy Birthday!

[Maddy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Some friends from work once at a going away party for me (when I left my job) at my house. They brought a couple appetizers, but basically I hosted, entertained LOTS of kids, cooked a bunch 'o stuff, and was super busy the whole night at my own going away party.

But it was still fun! If exhausting...

Next time I leave a job, I will make someone else host and organize any party that is in my honor!

[Torild Engh]

Happy, happy B-day!! (I'm exactly like you when it comes to celebrating myself.

I even find it harder to celebrate round years like 30 and didn't celebrate ny thirtieth but had quite a big party when I was 31. On my last and 34th birthday I took my friends out dining.

Wonderful not having all the stress in advance and having to clean up. The cool thing about beeing at someones place, even your own, is that one can act and talk not having to be cosiderate about other guests and even have more crazyness and fun. ..)

[Lindsay]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May the year ahead be filled with all the great things life has to offer! Thank you for being such an inspiration to me! I love checking in daily. Hope you are spoilt rotten. lots of love.

[Cakes]

Happy Birthday, Darling!

[Bev]

He swept the DRIVEWAY? Oh! No! That's just toooo funny.....

[blackbird]

Happy day to you, dear.
You know I adore you.

[21stCenturyMom]

Happy Birthday! Enjoy the last year of the decade that will NOT go down as the best. It gets better!

Here is the American version of your video (thanks to Brian Copeland at http://www.briancopeland.com/jokes/)

Definition of Barbecuing
It's the only type of cooking a "real man" will do. When a man volunteers to do the "BBQ" the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman goes to the store.

2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill.

4) The man places the meat on the grill.

5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the veggies.

6) The woman goes outside to tell the man that the meat is burning.

7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off". And upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

[D]

Happy Birthday!!! I had forgotten our b-day's were so close... I should have remembered that all cool people are born in November. I did a huge party for me and 2 of my friends who are also November people... it was a huge pain in the ass but fun. I think I agree that next year it must be held somewhere where I can just get drunk and not worry about serving food and all that jazz...

Happy Birthday!

[sweetisu]

Happy happy birthday dear Tertia!!!

[Shandra]

Happy birthday!

[Jen]

Happy birthday Tertia! When my mom hit 39, she started going backwards from then on out. I think she's younger than I am now.

[bad penguin]

Happy Birthday, Tertia! I hope 39 is a lovely year for you.

[karyn]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!39 and holding!!!

[kimberly/tippytoes]

Happy birthday! You know it is a good party when someone poops in the garden. ;)

[Kimberly (another one!)]

Happy Birthday, Gorgeous and Divine Tertia!

[Judy]

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

[victoria]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!

[Andrea]

Sounds like a traditional American BBQ to me. Well, except for the fact that prior to reading your blog, I'd never heard of children defecating in the garden, in public, etc. Apparently that is not the tradition here, lol.

[Kez]

Sounds like a good ol' Aussie barbie to me. Except in our case, all the men arrive with their own personal barbie tools and 3 or 4 of them will crowd around the grill and fight over who gets to turn the snags. Duelling Barb-B-Mates, I call it.

Oh, and the poo thing. Don't often have that. Although anyone who's got any sort of aiming ability (i.e. a male before he's had more than 4 beers) is directed to wee on the lemon tree.

And happy birthday!! I'm so glad it was a nice (if busy) day for you. I will be doing the "21 with 19 years' experience" when I hit 40; sounds like a good idea!

[Veronica]

Happy Happy Birthday. Your braai'ing sounds suspiciously like an Aussie BBQ, what with the man and the meat and the woman and everything else.

[Mel]

Happy Happy Birthday!

[Meg]

Happy birthday, o ye G & D one!

[Suzie-Q.]

Hahahaha! That vid was hilarious! Happy birthday baby!
xoxo

[Angie]

Hmm... that's exactly how the men here do it, too!

[Michelle Brown]

Happy Birthday Tertia!!!!!! Glad to hear that you had a good time at your party.

[Flicka]

Happy birthday to a fellow Nov. babe! I hope this year is divine for you.

['wishIknew']

HAPPY BIRTHDAY you young one!
Wishing you a great year!

'wishIknew'

[Lisa]

Happy birthday! And it sounds suspiciously like BBQ traditions in the U.S... For some reason though some men never cook anything all year round, when they get near a BBQ they turn into an expert (or at least claim to be)!

[Lisa]

Oh and if it makes you feel any better, my brother went through a pooping outside phase -- pooped on the slide on our swingset, in the yard, and to my mother's horror, in her friend's flowers.

[Nicola]

Happy Birthday! Sounds like you had a great time! Have a fabulous year!

[Jennifer]

Happy Birthday Tertia!

[JuliaKB]

Happy belated birthday to you!

About those gifts. Since he gave you a gift for the both of you, you can maybe think along those same lines. How about a massage for yourself? Cause when you are happy and relaxed, good things happen. No? Heeheeee...

[Deon]

Happy Birthday again Tertia!
About the salad thing... As a man I just don't get it...
Probably never will...
I mean, seriously, what man in his right mind is really interested in salad?
Were those 'green things' not intended for goats, sheep and the like?...
Which is the whole point of the braai anyway.
To consume the Sheep or whatever.
Seeing as how the meat on the braai has already consumed the 'salad' at some point in it's life...
We are getting our salad pre-packed into the meat...
;)

[Robyn]

Happy Birthday Tertia!!! I have been reading your blog for years and never realized that we shared the same birthday (though I am exactly one year younger)!! No wonder I relate so much to you.

[Credit card merchant processing]

I am always trying to get my birthday blowjob even if it is not my birthday.