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Just tell the boy if he doesn't sit still for a haircut, you'll take him to get his hair waxed off.

I wonder if it would be easier for Adam if you bought a home haircutting tool and did it yourself at home. It's not too hard to do, especially if you are just going to buzz it.

It's way too late here -- for a second I thought you were saying you bathed Rose and Kate. Which would be unusual no matter how you look at it, really. I had to reread a few times to discover the true meaning.

How do you guys handle trips to the dentist, by the way? I have to get my girls (2 and 1) in but am dreading it.

oh my god, it really is too late. never mind about my question, I just reread yesterday's dentist post. will wait to hear how it goes. delete all of these nonsensical comments if you like, tertia. I'm too tired!

ADORABLE!! Reminds me of my younger brother

Listen ... what you might wanna do is buy a electric shaver from clicks or something ... (i presume you in SA), and do it yourself ...

Also - hair cuts for youngsters (including me) become very expensive - so maar shave it off!

No advice on the haircutting thing. Sorry.

But for the hair washing you could try my trick. Get them in the bath, let them play and have fun then look at their heads and gasp. "Oh my goodness! I see animals in your hair!" Slowly wet their hair making all kinds of animal sounds. Add the shampoo, still making animal sounds. As you wash have one hand be one animal, the other hand a different animal. As you work your hands round their heads, have one hand chase the other making the animal sounds. Like a dog chasing a cat or whatever you like.

They usually relax, laugh and have a good time with it.

The other trick is letting them do it themselves. Little ones always want to do it themselves and this could be a good place to give them a bit of control and empowerment.

If all else fails, squirt shampoo on their heads, dunk them head first in the toilet a few times, flush and be done with it! ;)

bwhahahahahhahaha @ Janis' comment ... you obviously have terrors?

I've got 8 childen, numbers 7 & 8 are 4 year old twins named Livia and Caleb. We call them Chuckie and Bride of Chucky.


These are the kids that make the terrors cry and run for mommy.


Nah.. They are all really great but can be a handful at times. Like all kids.

so leave adam's hair to grow long. dreadlocks rock mom!

He does look great like that. I have been cutting Quinn's hair with clippers at home for a few years now. The deal is he sits still - with a sheet wrapped around him - and doesn't freak out about the cut hair making him ITCH etc until I am done, and then he gets a treat - lollipop etc.

It's worked well so far and I've saved loads of money and time.

We have a lovely kiddies hair salon in a local shopping centre. They have a flat screen tv in the salon and the kids get to watch dvds while having their hair cut. T does not move - I also had to the the holding down thing before this place opened! Love it!

Oh cool haircut - I love little boys with cuts like that! Buy yourself a Wahl at clicks, get Adams favourite DVD on, sit him on Rose or Marko's lap and buzz away... Not simple by any means, but a lot less traumatic... (Maybe cut Marko's at the same time - thats what I do - and Joe always wants to look like Dad!! Hah ha - not sure how Marko feels about that!)

I'm guessing that the sound and/or vibration of the clippers is what freaks Adam out, given his sensory challenges? Why not have the hairdresser use scissors instead? Takes longer, but quiet and no vibration.

As to hair washing... any idea what the main issue is there? Are they concerned that the water and/or shampoo will get in their eyes? Lindsay has always been ultra sensitive about getting water in her eyes, so I made a game about her counting things on the ceiling while I get her hair wet. Perhaps - if A&K have similar issues - you could put really cute (removeable!) decorations on the bathroom ceiling for them to view while you do the job?

Adam is totally precious, and Kate looks so sweet snuggled up with Rose! Good to see a pic of Rose, too... been quite a while since we've heard much about her. How's driving going?


My John was the same way, when I took him to the hairdresser. Funny thing was, one day Jenell (our previous nanny) said that she was going to take him. She did and he did fine!!! She took him each time after without a problem.

Jenell doesn't work for us anymore and I have to try to take him again, hoping that since he's had a few good times that he'll be good for me too. what you need is someone who is a bit sterner to take him (at least give it a try!)

My sensory kid was like that. We ended up buying our own buzzers and letting the neighbors hear him scream while we cut it every few months. Buzzers were were bad, but scissors were worse. His hair makes noises when you cut it - I guess it's very coarse - and it took so long. One day, I told himi I had to cut his hair or it was going to look like his sister's hair. He was horrified at the thought of having hair down his back and looking like a girl. He was terrified, but sat (relatively) still and allowed me to cut it without screaming and fighting. We praised him like crazy and that was it. Now if only I could find the trick to make him wear deoderant everyday as a stinky 14 year old.

"I want my nanny" - a call that must fill you with both comfort and sadness. Let comfort win out.


This is just me wondering out load, but does Adam watch himself get his hair cut in the mirror? If he does, maybe try turning him around so he can't see what she is doing, if he doesn't, maybe try letting him watch.

Just an idea, I don't know if it would work, but you never know...

my SI kid is like that too - cannot STAND to have his hair touched - he manages to hold it together for a haircut but then he runs around like a wildman afterwards. Or falls apart.

Yeah don't force him, my Ben has sensory issues like I have written about, very similar to Adam, as soon as I stopped forcing the issue he was fine. Why go through all that trauma for a haircut...not worth it..I refuse to "restrain" my kids. He needs to want to go or at least accept he is going.

Here's what worked for my sensory kid... we played "haircut" several times a week at home. Had him practice with a towel draped around his shoulders first, then when he tolerated that, moved up to squirting water on his head from a spray bottle, then when that was mastered, I held up a hair clipper (turned off) to his neck, then later turned it on and held it up to his neck (but not so it was actually cutting hair) etc. You get the idea. We did this for a couple of months at home. Then when we went for a haircut we said he would get a special treat afterward (immediately afterward). It is still tough for him but the technique has worked very well. We needed to continue the haircut play at home afterward for a while too, through several haircut "cycles". Good luck!

Tertia, we had the *same* thing. My son has some mild sensory issues, but haircutting was a huge issue from about age 4 onward. He felt the scissors around his ears and forehead as *pain*.... and it didn't help that the hairdresser we took him to used shame and humiliation to try to deal with him last time. We haven't been back.

We also went to shearing him like a sheep every 4-5 months. It isn't what I wanted in the way of little boy haircuts, but we realized that the clippers are quicker and less painful to him than the scissors. And its funny -- I can remember being little and the sound and feeling of the scissors as they sliced the hairs, that kind of "ssssssch, scccch" would make the hair on my arms stand up and give me the shivers. I think he gets that- but worse.

IT's gotten much better here, but one thing we did back then was stop forcing it so much. We cut a deal -- "clippers are easier, lets do that and we'll get a treat afterwards" we did what we could quickly, and that was it.

He looks like such a big boy with that cut! Looks more like Marko than ever! At least these cuts are fast to do. If he is feeling the cut or sensation as pain, can you give him paracetamol (sp? -- i am from States and we call it Tylenol) beforehand?

I love the haircut. It makes his eyes really and smile shine through so well.

This is how I cut Seb's hair too - really short. It's easier, and easier to wash. (I cut the kids, and Hubby's hair) For a long time Seb cried feverishly whenever I cut his hair. I hold him tight and shave it with the clipper while my heart rips hearing him cry.

I'm sure you've tried literally everything under the sun re washing their hair. How about giving them big plastic cups and show them to pour water down from their hair on their own? You show them how much fun it is (do it on yourself) by showing it to them in the shower or backyard. We did that, at first they resisted badly, but they kind of lead each other on and now it's a giggling fest whenever they bath and have their hair washed.

We actually have a kid's haircutting place that has a "Tranquility Room." The owners have 2 boys that have a sensory disorder so haircutts were a nightmare for them - so they opened their own place and it has been very successful. Here is the link:
My son is ok with the hair, but does the same at the dentist - promises the whole way he won't cry, and shows me how wide he can open his mouth, but the minute he is in the chair he starts wailing. (He is 3 1/2.) He does sit still and keeps his mouth open, so it is this loud wailing coming from our room, and I tell the hygenist, "Just clean them - hurry!" He can't verbalize why he cries each time, he is all proud that he went to the dentist, and he just says, I cried, but I do better next time. Kills me.

Mini MARKO!!!

I had the same problem with Simon - even when I cut his hair myself (I use scissors). There's a great kiddies hairdresser (Chop It) here in Randburg at the Lifestyle Garden Centre. It's decorated like a "play place" and also sells small toys (not always a good thing), but in front of each kiddy's chair there's a TV tuned to Cartoon Network (banned at our house). It's usually enough to totally distract the kids & let them sit still for the duration of the cut. And you can also choose between scissors & clippers (1 choose first option). But I can imagine that the sensory issues might complicate matters & a TV may not be enough distraction from the irritation of the haircut.

So when are you coming to Gauteng for a lekker braai?


LOVE Adam's new 'do!!! Such a beautiful, beautiful boy.

You and Adam have my sympathies. My son with sensory issues is *exactly* the same way. We just went through the haircut fiasco last week.

Nail trimmings are about the same. How is Adam with that?

I have the same problem with Evan and ended up with the same solution for a good, long while. He just had his first scissor cut where he didn't flip out. Thank god!
I wouldn't do it myself, if i were you. I think it's better to keep having him associate this difficult event with someone other than mommy...

Wow, your boy is a looker...

Good luck with the do-it-yourself haircut & buzzing, all I can say is that I am really, really clumsy and useless at these type of things, but I actually cut hubbies hair and it is quite easy.

Oh, good heavens, they're all so beautiful (incl Rose)!

I hear you about the haircuts. My son hates them too. Even now, and he's 7. He HATES the feeling of clippers or scissors around his ears or eyes in particular, and freaks out if the tiniest bit of cut hair gets on him. And he knows that if he keeps still then it's over quicker and he can get the hair off him quicker, but that doesn't help. It still freaks him out and he can't help himself.

We do his hair ourselves with the clippers at home now. So much easier with boys!!!

When he was 2, I took him to the hairdresser one time, and the poor little boy freaked out so much he did a wee on me!!! Had to take off his pants after that. I changed his shirt so he wouldn't be so in pain from the hair, but then he threw up on the clean one. So I had to take that off him. So he was wandering around the shopping centre with just a nappy on, while we did the rest of our errands. By this time he was happier, so every time he saw himself in a reflective surface he gave himself a kiss, and every time we walked past a shop which was playing music, he stopped and danced in front of it.

He does look adorable with short hair. Gosh, you do have a lot to deal with. They hate having their hair washed, they hate having it cut... you really don't have it easy!

Good grief, those kids are gorgeous.

Haircuts are hell at this age. Sometimes it goes well for us, sometimes not. The promise of a lollipop does help. Even if it gets freshly-cut hair stuck all over it.

wow, with that haircut there's no mistaking who his daddy is :)

aw he looks adorable!!!
i just remembered the first time i took damien to a salon for a haircut- he was about 3... he fell asleep in the chair with me holding his chin up- the girl who did the cutting didn't even charge me!!!

Hi Tertia,

Jumping out of lurkdom to offer an option for Adam's haircut jitters. If you're not into doing it yourself, have you considered helping him block out whatever it is that bothers him about the cut (noise? sensation? proximity to another person?) by letting him watch something on an IPod with video? If you don't have one yet (which, I'd be surprised considering Marko's love of all things electronic) go get one and then you can download shows from I-tunes like Sesame Street or Wiggles or something he would love and let him watch it with the earphones in ONLY during haircuts and/or other unpleasant things like doctor visits, so it remains a treat. Maybe the combination of the show and the earphones will help him to redirect his focus onto something he likes (the show) away from something he doesn't (the cut).

As for the washing, I have another tip; get a hand held sprayer that attaches to either the fawcet or the shower head that you can dial down to really low flow and let THEM rinse their own hair. The sprayer will be fun and if they rinse their own hair, they may be less afraid of the water and soap. (Granted, you'll need to supervise so your bathroom doesn't get flooded, but you get the idea.)

BTW, beautiful kids you have. And how lucky are they to have both you and Rose? Pretty darn lucky!!

Emme Bea

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