Pinocchio Presents

 I am the key speaker at a fund raising event tomorrow night. I am doing my thing in front of 450 people. If I wasn’t on happy pills and Chardonnay, I would be vomiting with nerves right now.

Instead I am deliciously mellow and in love with life. La la laaaaaaaaaa. Speech? What speech?

In addition, I am sporting several gouges on my rather large schnozz thanks to Adam. We were horsing around and as I wrestled him to the ground he grabbed on to the biggest thing he could reach. My nose. Have scratches and marks all over it.  V unfortunate. V unattractive.

The lovely folk at the Melka Ella Foundation (wonderful cause! Please donate freely! Love those Jewish folk!) are flying Marko and I up to the dinner. And paying for our accommodation. I, being the generous big hearted giver that I am, am talking for gratis at the event. Am waiving my entire (non-existent) professional appearance fee. Me = winner.

I should be nervous because there are going to be 450 people there. And several important Rabbis. Am wearing same demure outfit as before (borrowed from my mother). Clearly am old hat at this orthodox stuff by now.  

So anyway, how sad is this…..

I used that advanced online check in thing and checked Marko and I  Marko and myself  Me and Marko  Marko and me  the two of us in tonight. That thing where you can pre-book your seats online. Marko loves sitting at the window. I have to sit at the aisle or else I might get trapped in by the two other people in the seats next to me and what if I need to wee and can’t get out and my bladder explodes and then I have a panic attack and die. And neither of us wants to sit in the middle seat. I asked him if it would seem terribly odd if we sat apart and he said he thought it would be fine. So we are sitting in 4A and 4C. Let’s hope we don’t get anyone in 4B. We really are the most unromantic couple in the world.

Anyway, think of me tomorrow night. I must go now because I really have had far too much Chardonnay. 

Shalom aleichem my friends.

Comments

[Kathy B]

1. Marko and Myself (take "Marko" out of the sentence, how would you say it?)
2. Nothing wrong with booking the seats that way.

[sweetisu]

Good luck tomorrow night honey! Although I think you will do just fine. More than fine. You'll be great!!!

4A & 4C -- very practical. I think after a while, marriage becomes "practical" in more ways than we realize. It's too tiring to upkeep the romantic stuff, especially with toddlers gouging at your face (for a moment there I thought you were going to say "boob" instead of nose).

[Jan]

This is totally how I always book airline seat for myself and my husband. Best case: nobody's in 4B. Worst case: somebody is and if we want to sit next to each other, I guarantee that somebody will be willing to trade with one of us.

I think the rabbis would like to see your new tatas. They're Jewish, not dead!

[Jen]

I say that you can argue that it is MORE romantic to sit one seat apart. As both of you love the other so much that you want them to be as comfortable as possible!

[Don't Eat My Buchela!]

Good luck on your speech:)

[amy]

Knock them dead Tertia. Well not literally but you know what I mean ;)

[kellyb]

Hi Tertia - me and 10 of my closest friends are SO looking forward to hearing you tonight.. I promise when I introduce myself not to look (only) at your cleavage :-) I'll be sure to have an extra glass of chardonnay available at our table for you too - but for the record, I have no doubt you'll be brilliant!

[Bevc]

Yeah! Best of luck! You'll be fabulous!

[N]

Here in the U.S we sometimes say break a leg, so break a leg Tertia!

[maddy]

Best of luck giving your talk! Have a fun trip with your guy, also.

[CB]

Wow, I have just been to the Malka Ella link and am so impressed. I did not even know that such an amazing charity organisation existed in our community. Brilliant. Hope the talk went well. PS: Also v impressed with the Hebrew sign-off!

[kellyb]

I was at the Malka Ella Function last night, and Tertia was superb! People were really touched (barely a dry eye in the house).. Well done and thank you for your courage to share your story so eloquently.