Kid stories

(A nice idea would have been to post pics with this post, but I have been so busy I haven’t been able to take pics for a while. Me bad)

Rose has been away for a few days and came back home tonight. One would swear she was away for MONTHS judging by the reception she got from the kids. Adam made her swing him around him three times and then yelled “Katie’s turn!” (I’ve been teaching him about taking turns. It’s going well)  He then made her “come see my woom, Rosie”. Just in case she forgot what his room looked like in the four days she was gone. 

I bragged to Rose how fantastically the kids were doing with potty training. Kate was wearing big girl panties during the day and her nappy remained dry during her nap as well. Adam was doing fairly well too. 

Rosie said goodnight and the kids went off to play for the last few minutes before bedtime. During which time Adam peed in my room and Kate pooped in the study. 

Yeah. Potty training is going really well.

--------------------------------------------------

My kids love bath time. They play and splash and are completely silly in the bath. Which is fine, but one thing that drives me crazy is when they throw the toys out of the bath. It makes a huge mess and they know they are not allowed to do it. Yet every now and then they will try my patience (see below for another reference to trying of patience) and I will come in to the bathroom to find toys on the floor. When I ask who the culprit is, it is always the other one who did it. “Adam did it” “Sister did it”. (Adam calls Kate “Sister”. V Afrikaans). So one night I hid around the corner and listened and lo and behold, there is Kate encouraging Adam to infringe the rules, “AdamAdamAdam, throw the toys out!!” Which he did, of course. I stomped in there and boomed, “WHO IS THROWING TOYS OUT THE BATH??” and Kate, traitor of note, immediately stabs her finger in his chest and says “it was him, Mom, he did it”. “ADAM, DID YOU THROW THE TOYS OUT THE BATH?” Ja, he replies with a goofy grin. Little buggers. 

Last night I let them bath with their Crocs on as they needed a wash anyway. And it was a fun and exciting thing to do. I heard whispering and so I knew something was up and when I came into the bathroom, I found a few toys plus a pair of Crocs floating in the water on the floor. WHO THREW THE TOYS OUT THE BATH? She stabs her finger in his chest again, “it was him” she says. I asked him if it was him and he grunts “ja”. As I am about to reprimand him again I noticed he is still wearing his Crocs on his feet. The little shit! It was her all along!  Crafty thing.

--------------------------------------------------

Every night after the bath, the kids run around in the nude, skipping and hopping and screaming around. I run after them, trying to put their vests and PJ’s on their wiggling, giggling bodies. Last night I had to wrestle Kate to the couch in order to put her PJ’s on. She clearly found this rather annoying and told me that “you are trying my patience, mom”. Ok then. The night before I asked her to do something and she stops and points her finger at me, “Just.Wait.One.Second Mom, I am being Serious” That is Serious with a capital S.

--------------------------------------------------

Who drives a Renault? I do. Renaults don’t have the normal car key. They have a card that you stick into a slot on the dashboard and then you push a button to start the car. V high tech. When it works. It won’t work if the card doesn’t go into the slot, and the card won’t go into the slot when your 2.5 yr old twins POST coins into the slot as if it is a slot machine.  MacGyver had nothing on me today as I tried to fish the bloody coins out. A knife with sticky tape on the end, a hair clip, tweezers. “IT IS NOT FUNNY, DADDY IS GOING TO BE VERY CROSS WITH YOU”. Actually, daddy is going to be very cross with ME because they aren’t supposed to play in the car. LITTLE SHITS!!

--------------------------------------------------

My children aren’t the quiet, bookish types. They are exceptionally loud, boisterous and energetic. They never sit still. Adam might hug and snuggle a little bit, but not Kate. So it was a rare moment today when after their nap, the two of them lay quietly on my chest today and had a bit of a cuddle. 

It is unusually cold here at the moment and so after they had woken up from their nap, I took them to the lounge and sat on the couch in the sun, a child in each arm, their heads resting on my (ample new) chest.  We sat there, the three of us, silently in the wintry sun. The house was so quiet, and for once, so where they. All that broke the silence the suck suck suck sounds as they sucked on their dummies every few seconds. 

And as I sat there, drinking in their smell as my lips brushing the tops of their heads, a wave of gratitude washed over me. As it does so often. It is like opening and reopening the most wonderful gift over and over again. I never get tired of it and the enormity of my gratitude doesn’t fade. I am so unbelievably blessed. I am so unbelievably lucky. In my wildest dreams and deepest hopes, I never imagined I would be this lucky. That it would be this good.

To all those still trying and who are wondering whether it is all worth it, I say to you, yes it is, more than you can imagine. Motherhood is tougher than you think possible, but it is also even more glorious than your deepest dreams and desires. It is all you imagined, and more. I hope that you get to experience it too.  Soon.

Comments

[Lila]

Oh dear, I love the stories about those wonderful magic funny children and their world! LOVE them!!!

What happy children you have, Tertia. What wonderful memories they will have when they are grown up!

[Andrea]

soo sweet, call me crazy I love how mischievous toddlers can be.

[ruth]

those moments where the realisation washes over you of just how blessed you are . . . nothing beats them. hold onto those precious sensations, they will get you thru any angst or fears you have to face from here on out.
i have a five week old daughter, the last of four (21 years after the next youngest, and a long succession of baby losses and sadness) and am drinking those seconds in. saying to my self this is the last time, so hold onto this. the feel of fuzzy head under my chin. the crowing and snuffling when it is time to feed. the tiny hand gripping my finger, and the heat of the little mouth the finger gets stuffed into, in quest of yet more food. the phantom smiles, from a tiny face that crinkles up like a chimpanzee, and the intoxication of a creaky laugh.
your cup is full right now tertia, you are blessed. keep that moment you describe in your mind and use it to block out any negative stuff.
you are the best mommy they could have. you deserve those times.
enjoy . . . .

[Angela]

Here in the U.S. water safety is a big issue and while I'm sure some parents allow their children to bathe alone, it is generally frowned upon. Parents are warned that all it takes is 30 seconds and an inch of water for a child to drown, and most parents do not let their young children in the tub without a parent present or within sight at all times. Or maybe I am the only one who is not relaxed about that?

[Heather]

Great stories. Glad to hear things with Adam are going well. Too funny about Kate. I love the naptime cuddle. My daughter has also never been the cuddliest child, and whenever we do have those moments, I have that wave of amazement. I get it when I wake her in the morning and tuck her in at night. Her birthday this weekend was amazing. I can't believe she's seven years old already!!! They get big so fast.

[glittersmama]

I think letting your child alone in the bath is more of an issue when they are still small...not when they are almost three years old.

[Suzie-Q.]

Why can't we have more of those moments and less of the hi-jinks?????????? :)

[ellen]

Children under 5 should not be left alone in the tub, especially when there are 2 of them. Asking for trouble, IMHO.

[Chaya]

Oh my gosh, talk about missing the point of the story!! I think anyone who reads here regularly can see that Tertia is not exactly a neglectful mother. If her kids are in the bath without her eyes directly on them, it is because she knows that they are safe enough. She shouldn't have to explain or defend herself to you! Worry about your own kids' baths!! Tertia, your children sound delicious, and I am so glad you have the peace right now to enjoy them. Even if they cause trouble. Would you want boring kids? I think not.

[Katerina]

Lovely stories, Tertia. It's so nice to hear that you still have time to "stop and smell the roses", so to speak, with your hands as full as they are!

But Sheesh, who would have thought we could create another round of Mommy Wars? We've had Bottle Vs Breast, Circ Vs Not, and now we have the Unsupervised Bathing Battle!

Please, people. I'm sure Tertia appreciates your concern, but it is possible to be aware of how your children are doing without hovering directly over the bath tub. I use bath time to fold laundry in a room opposite the bathroom and have the door open the whole time. I can hear them playing, and am only a couple of steps away if anything should happen. Might not work for everyone, but that's okay. Can't we just acknowledge that we have our differences and be done with it?

[Barbara]

Thanks. I really needed to hear that right now.

[Irene]

Thank you thank you. I am standing on the verge of insanity and my twin tots are about to push me over with their endless tantrums. But, you write this beautiful post and remind me how grateful I really am to have them.

[Evil Stepmonster]

Thankyou Tertia, for your wise and hilarious stories.
I am one of those still trying and wondering if it all worth it - sometimes its so hard to keep going. Thanks for the reminder...

[Tertia]

What? In the US you don’t allow your children to bath alone? Here in South Africa, we tell them to put down those spears and sharp knives THIS VERY MINUTE and go run the bath themselves. Then while they play unattended with household cleaners and paint thinners, we go next door to get completely plastered on our traditional beer and local spirits. By the time we get back, they must fed the lions, cooked the goat and baked the bread. We don’t believe in spoiling our kids here.

[Hanlie]

Thanks Tertia! Can't wait!

[Bianca W]

Wah haaa haaa at your comment Tertia. Well done!

I just have to add that I had one of those wonderful moments you mentioned in your post just last night. My son was lying up against my back and I was breastfeeding my daughter (lying down of course) and I just had to say a prayer of thanks for being so blessed with 2 such amazing children. I hope they know how much we love them, these little toddler rascals!!
B

[Mary]

Great post, great kids, GREAT mom!

[Martina]

Love love love this post!!

[Katie]

The time the kids are in the bath are the only free minutes I have. Even if I just stand outside the door it makes the day better. Relax people.

[Wyliekat]

Ah, the Mommy Olympics. Where every "slice o' life" is an opportunity to be a gold medal winner. For someone else.

[mimi smartypants]

"When I ask who the culprit is, it is always the other one who did it."

This is the part you need to quit. There's no point in asking who did it. Either you can chill about toys on the floor, or decide that there will be a consequence for toys on the floor (for instance, you both have to come out right now), but it's a waste of time to get all cross-examination on two-year-olds.

[Heather]

Holy crap... Seriously with the "Don't leave your kids in the tub?"

Lovely response, Tertia. Heh heh...

[Val]

Tertia, some moms are just super hyper protective over their kids. I put all 3 of mine (almost 4 year old twins and a 2 year old) in the tub at the same time and go about my business. I take care of things in the bedrooms that are all within 6 feet of the bathroom and I check on them and talk to all 3 while I am putting away laundry and picking up. Guess what, I also let them play in the dirt! I can't stand moms who constantly hover over their kids, and run to get them every time they fall or sneeze. It's like they think that it makes them a better mother or something.

And please don't give me the "my friend's friend's baby drowned in a teacup" story, I know these things happen, and they are tragic. But I choose to give my kids some room to be kids.

[colicmommy]

Oh goody! Can we have a flame war about bathing kids now? Yipee! Let me get some popcorn!!! :)

I leave my kids, 4.5 and 2, in the tub together. I fold laundry in the attached bedroom and I put away the laundry too. I can hear them, and I check on them visually periodically. That's what Tertia is doing.

Parents are so freaking hyperactive today. Helicopter parents.

[Lisa T.]

Hahah
I'm glad you are having fun with your kids and they are
having some fun with you.
:) and the little girly is quite the leader.

[juliette]

had to tell you Jake's latest funny comment. He wanted a bath the other night at around 9pm. He had already had one at 6pm so I said to him 'no we are not having a bath tonight'. To which he replied 'why; do you have your pyramid?". What a laugh! No idea where he got that from!

[Lia]

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks we're making potty training progress only to be rudely slapped back into reality. M was undressed before bath time last night and very eagerly sat on the potty. After a few minutes she said she didn't have to go and got up. She of course promptly walked into the living room and peed on the floor! Oh well.

[Natalie]

That was an awesome post and I really enjoyed reading it!

Thanks for the pep talk at the end - needed that today too. At 3 yrs ttc our 1st I'm having one of those "bad" days

[Nicole]

I also think that it is not necessary to spend every single minute of the day within arms reach of my child. I remember my great aunt telling me that she would leave her kids in the tub alone while she went about her work, but that they had to sing to her. She figured that as long as she could hear them singing then they couldn't be dead from drowning. I haven't quite gotten Ella to sing for me, but considering the amount of noise that she makes while I am out of the room, I don't have to get too nervous wondering whether or not she is safe. From what I gather about Kate and Adam, a drop in the noise level would be an immediate tip-off that something was up!

[Pamela]

Hi

Although not a mother I read and love your blog and the stories of your children, however this is the first time that I am commenting.

One of my friends lost his niece (3yrs old) in a bath accident. She and her sister (5yrs) were in the bath together and their mother was hovering around. She was in the room next door when the 5 year old walked in. She asked where her sister was and ran straight to the bathroom. It was too late. Both parents were at home and the dad had been (and still is) a surf lifeguard since his teens. He gave his daughter CPR and they called the ambulance. They did get her recusitated, but she died in the hospital due to secondary drowning and her lungs being damaged by the bubble bath.

I would probably have done the same as this mother, thinking 3 and 5 were old enough not to sit in the bathroom with them constantly but now when I have children I will be extra vigilant. It really does only take a couple of seconds.

[Joy]

I am full of hormones at this moment, less than a week away from my 4th IVF, and Tertia's last two paragraphs have touched me beyond words. To hear such gratitude and hope from someone who has been through IVF hell is more healing than I can say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Tertia, for thinking of those of us who are still waiting. No one would fault you for exulting in your own happiness, but you turned that moment into an opportunity to reach out to us.
But I was completely distracted from the beating heart of this post - joy, real life, hope, Tertia's humility in the face of a tough job - by pettiness about water safety, who has or does not have a sense of humor, and whatever other personal distractions people wanted to bring. I think that's a shame.

[Jacq]

Gee thank goodness we have people from the US to warn us of possible dangers. People from other countries just don't know how to care for their children.
In Australia we just throw our children into the nearest billabong and walk away. That way they get clean and learn to swim really fast getting away from the crocodiles (and can therefore win us medals in the olympics)