Potty Training

Ever since the kids were little, many people have said “oh, life is so much easier when they are off nappies” and I always replied that the nappies didn’t worry me, I don’t mind changing nappies. And its true, I never used to mind. But after almost three years and 475,000 nappies, I am getting ever so slightly tired of wrestling an unwilling 33 pound toddler to floor, pinning them down with my elbow while the other hand wipes their stinky butts. Baby poop is not particularly lovely, but it is a whole lot more pleasant than Toddler poop.

In January this year, when the little darlings were two years old, I tried to start potty training. I did this because my mother said “you better hurry up and do it before summer ends”. They thought the whole potty thing was a massive joke and we got exactly no where. Luckily you all gave me permission to put the potty training on hold (this is where you readers are particularly useful to have around) and we left the potties to gather dust in the garage. (Please note the potties were neatly stacked in their allocated spot on the immaculate self-assembled wooden shelf – remember I am married to Sergeant-Major Analtyn.)

Then, as luck would have it, a publisher contacted me (as they do) asking whether I wanted to review a potty training book, entitled “The Potty Training Answer Book”

“The Potty Training Answer Book breaks down the top 200 questions parents ask when faced with the potty-training challenge. Compiled through both her own experiences and Q&A sessions with parents, parenting expert Karen Deerwester covers the difficult and funny questions you’ll encounter with detailed advice and information.”

It seemed particularly timely and so I said I would review it. It is a great book, nicely laid out, easy to read etc. Appropriately, I read it on the loo, which is the only time and place I get to read.

And yet, even after the reading the book, I still couldn’t pluck up the energy to start the potty training. It was cold, middle of winter, I wasn’t feeling at my best…. You know how it goes.

Then, about a week ago, Kate decided she no longer wanted to wear nappies. Actually, she didn’t want to wear pants. Little exhibitionist. So I said to her she could take her pants off if she promised not to wee on the floor. If she wanted to wee, then she had to wee in the potty. And so she did. And of course, whatever the one does, the other one wants to do, so Adam is potty training himself by default.

It is a little soon. I am not quite ready for them to do this, because it is still cold here and we don’t have central heating. We have just one trusty gas heater in the lounge, so it is cold inside.  I can’t have them walk around with no pants on, and if I put pants on them then sometimes they forget they have no nappy on. But I can’t stop them of course and so they are mostly without nappies during the day at home. And they have been quite good. Kate is a little better than Adam as she can keep the wee in for longer. The time between Adam’s “wee wee is coming” to when the wee wee actually comes is about 0,05 seconds. Resulting in the potty dash – mother going from zero to 100 in 7 seconds, leaping over furniture and other obstacles to grab the potty and shove it under his bum. I would have preferred to wait until the weather is a bit warmer, but there you go. It looks like they are potty training me.

Back to the book, if you want to get a good book on potty training, I suggest you get “The Potty Training Answer” by Karen Deerwester. She really has put a comprehensive, easy to read book together.

However if you want 3 tips from someone who knows nothing about any of this, read on:

1. Make a huge fuss when they go on the potty. Praise them and tell them how great they are. They love that shit (no pun intended). This morning Kate went on the potty herself (i.e. felt the urge, pulled down her pants, made a wee and then pulled up her pants again, all by herself). I very enthusiastically said, “clever, clever girl. Thank you for weeing on your potty”. To which she nonchalantly replied “pleasure, my dear”. That child.

2. It is easier for them to realize they need to use the potty when they are naked from the waist down. Panties feel too much like a nappy and they sometimes forget. So waiting for warmer weather (if you don’t have central heating) isn’t a bad idea

3. Don’t be in a rush. If you wait long enough, they will potty train you. Only (half) joking. Seriously though, don’t stress if they don’t do it at exactly 18 months or two years or whatever. Even if your sister’s child, who is a whole YEAR younger than yours, is potty trained before yours are.

Still need more info? Get the book.

Comments

[Veronica]

Yay for potty training themselves.

I think there is too much pressure on parents to have their children doing things by a set age.

The weather is only getting warmer, c'mon summer.

[mindy]

My son is 2 and 2 months and I hope to start training him next week, using the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day." It might work wonders for Adam if you read it.

[midlife mommy]

I love your potties! Pink and blue; how sweet. My daughter just turned 3 in August. She will only pee on the potty, and only occasionally. But, secretly, I'm fine with it. I think that it is much easier to have a diaper on her when we go out than to have to figure out where all the potties are with no time to spare.

[sheilah]

A year and a half (or so) ago, I asked my sister-in-law how she trained my neice and nephew and this is exactly what she said - she just let them go naked and they 'trained' themselves.

[Chickenpig]

We've got potty chairs here that play music when it senses any little bit of moisture, so they get instant gratification for doing even the slightest bit in the potty. My twins are 22 months and I have one that can't stand the feeling of crapping in his pants. Unfortunately, he gets constipated quite often (perhaps the diet consisting primarily of mac and cheese is to blame) so a trip to the potty may take an agonizingly long time and disrupts everything. There are many days when I have to put his diaper back on and dress him because there is somewhere we have to go, which of course goes against everything we're trying to do. I am going to get that Potty Answer book because I hope it can help me.

My mom's answer for the quick urge and running to the potty that happens with boys is to have disposable cups in the corner of every room. He can use the cup like a urinal or potty, get lots of praise for it, and then have the luxury of pouring it into the toilet and flushing it, if he is in to that kind of thing. It's the training thing that's important, not the actual vessel that's important. (although I wouldn't have him go pee in your plant, that spells trouble)

[Judy]

We tried the old training of the potty about 4 months ago when Tyler was not quite 2.5 - he was showing ALL the signs and more that his big brother had many moons ago, so we went for it - and failed - MISERABLY. We did what everyone warned us not to do - put him back in diapers and put the whole process away. As it turns out, he'll be three next month, and he's doing it again, but this time, it is a different motivator. Instead of trying to be "just like Bubba", he's doing it because he can tell it is time. And, its a breeze. I'm sure a book like this is going to have tons of tips for a time like this!

[kristylynne]

Excellent advice, thank you. And cute pics, too.

My 2-year-old is just now starting to take interest in the potty. He occassionally wants to sit on it, but no action so far. I am not in a hurry. I do hope he's done by age 3 though, as the preschool I want him to go to requires that he be potty-trained before they'll enroll him.

[Barbara]

It is both easaier and harder. Once you start taking them out and about without nappies, you will learn where every shop and public toilet is within 30 miles of your home. You will also perfect the Public Toilet Sprint and find no shame in urging your in-need child to water various public plantings.

[Rebekah]

Hip hip hooray! Very excited for you, and MAJOR congrats to Kate and Adam for doing such a great job. Well done. Woo hoo! =)

[angel]

marvellous post t!!! my mom always told me about the no pants thing, and she also always told me the kidlet wouldn't go to school with a dummy or a nappy...

[mama2beans]

Lovely post, YAY for potty training.... Now I've only got one trained toddler under my belt so am no expert, by far.. but I would revise your "advice #1" just a bit.. because too much praising can cause stage fright.. then they get so nervous to do it correctly, to have no accidents, that they give up alltogether.... OR.. It can cause in them a NEED for that validation... they will ONLY go on the potty if you are there being their personal cheerleader, as they're only doing it for that ego boost you provide. I tried twice to train my daughter and she, like your children, ended up training herself fully in a weekend. The things that held me back? Over-cheering causing nervousness, and over-cheering causing her gluttony of the WOO-HOO's. In the end I just had to praise her appropriately " Good job, you're being such a big girl, going in the potty".. rahter then "WOOO HOOOO!!! GREAT JOB HONEY!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!"( I have no idea why I thanked my child for doing what she was supposed to do.. that made it all the worse.. like she was doing me a FAVOR by going on the potty, rather then doing herself a favor... I mean, you wouldn't thank your 15 year old, would you? That would be... awkward.)

Another thing to try, Tertia... Give up the kid potties. It's not for everyone, but my daughter just "played" with the play potties. It wasn't till we got those soft kid seats for our adult potties that she really got down to business and learned. I mean, Mama didn't go on the kid potties, she should she? Just an idea!

[Suzie-Q.]

I am so freakin' jealous!!!! Yay for you and your potty-geniuses! Sammy has been TALKING about going potty for over 7 months, yet still isn't actually doing anything in it. I know the naked thing can work if they are ready (i tried it already before they were ready), but, i am out of the house with the kids for 1/2 of the days when i am with them and the other days they are in preschool full time...
Can you tell me what your magical potty-training book says about this situation? If i was at home with them (or had a Nanny) mine too would likely be trained...
HELP!
Tertia, please share the love!!!
xoxo
Suz

[Heidi]

We are still in the midst of that around here with my 3 year old son. We've been at it since May and all through summer here. Our little guy can make it to the potty every single time if he isn't wearing underwear or pants, but as soon as he has pants/underwear on and he's busy playing with toys we invariably have an accident. Fortunately they are generally wee wee accidents and not the other. It's taken him much, much longer to potty train since he also can't control it as well as it seemed our daughter could, but we are feeling like we're getting there and I swear the best method of success is to purchase a huge Costco-sized lot of diapers only to have your child refuse to wear them anymore! (Not completely different from buying a huge package of maxi pads only to learn that you are finally pregnant after 2 1/2 years of trying.)

[Heather]

Praise was HUGE in potty training Mega. The 3-day method worked perfectly for us; praise was a very important part of that method, as well as the naked-ness. :-)

The best part is that now anytime I go to the bathroom, Mega waits outside the door (and when we're in public, he's in the stall with me, obviously) and as soon as I move to flush, he says, "Mommy, did you make it?" "Yes, darling." "Oh, good job Mumma! You did it!" ;-)

HOORAY for potty training!!! Smaller diaper bags, less money, and less time! HOORAY ADAM AND KATE!!!

[amy]

You got it :) As with most things, when they are ready, they are READY!

[cooler*doula]

Another fan of the take-off-the-pants-and-let-'em-figure-it-out.
;)
That's what Josh did. Mostly painless - wood floors made accidents a non-issue.

He has worked up to some stupendous bladder control, btw - but was very much like Adam when he started. So hang in there. Soon you'll be able to go to the mall, and get home without having to dash to the public loo!

[pink]

I am in the midst of PT hell right now and really wondering why I'm doing this to myself. The preschool says that Miss P is ready to train, but we've had two days of 6+ accidents/day! I had been using the soft seat on the regular toilet, but pulled out the portable potty today and that *maybe* is doing the trick. Now she can sit on the potty AND watch Dora the Explorer! What joy! We have a three-tiered reward system going on--stickers for trying, a piece of candy for peeing, and a toy surprise for pooping. Plus, if she goes every time I ask her to today and tomorrow, she gets a big toy. Am I spoiling her? Yes. Am I making using the potty an extrinsic reward instead of intrinsic? Yes. Am I desperate? Yes. (Why, I'm not really sure. But now that I'm committed to this. I really don't want to give up.)

[Christina]

I started pt last Saturday. The first day, nothing, the second day, 2x peeing on potty, and from the 3rd day through yesterday, practically no accidents at all (peeing and pooping on her potty chair). Of course, this is only when she is naked from the waist down. We started putting big girl undies on her last night so someday we can take her in public, and for some reason she will not go on the potty when they're on. It's like she thinks they are diapers. Even when we remind her to go to the potty, or try to get her to sit when she has her tell tale signs she's ready, she still ends up peeing in her undies. I have no idea what to say or do to get her to realize that they are not diapers, and that she should go on the potty everytime she has to go.. I know she's ready to be trained, because she is... when she's naked. I guess we're just stuck in this naked phase... Any suggestions???