So Close

Could I be happier?

I just had to share what I am doing right at this very moment.  I am sitting at the dining room table, my feet soaking in my Mother's Day gift foot spa, I have my laptop on my lap, my comfy PJs on, my glass of wine full* and my kids asleep in bed.  Life does not get much better than this.

*Teeny tiny little fly in the ointment / droll in die drinkwater .... in the time it took me to take the photo with my cell and infrared it to my laptop, I've managed to finish my wine. I'd get myself another glass, but unfortunately my feet are otherwise engaged in the foot spa. Wonder what the chances are of Marko getting me a refill....

Or perhaps not.

Fast asleep.

Potty Training

Ever since the kids were little, many people have said “oh, life is so much easier when they are off nappies” and I always replied that the nappies didn’t worry me, I don’t mind changing nappies. And its true, I never used to mind. But after almost three years and 475,000 nappies, I am getting ever so slightly tired of wrestling an unwilling 33 pound toddler to floor, pinning them down with my elbow while the other hand wipes their stinky butts. Baby poop is not particularly lovely, but it is a whole lot more pleasant than Toddler poop.

In January this year, when the little darlings were two years old, I tried to start potty training. I did this because my mother said “you better hurry up and do it before summer ends”. They thought the whole potty thing was a massive joke and we got exactly no where. Luckily you all gave me permission to put the potty training on hold (this is where you readers are particularly useful to have around) and we left the potties to gather dust in the garage. (Please note the potties were neatly stacked in their allocated spot on the immaculate self-assembled wooden shelf – remember I am married to Sergeant-Major Analtyn.)

Then, as luck would have it, a publisher contacted me (as they do) asking whether I wanted to review a potty training book, entitled “The Potty Training Answer Book”

“The Potty Training Answer Book breaks down the top 200 questions parents ask when faced with the potty-training challenge. Compiled through both her own experiences and Q&A sessions with parents, parenting expert Karen Deerwester covers the difficult and funny questions you’ll encounter with detailed advice and information.”

It seemed particularly timely and so I said I would review it. It is a great book, nicely laid out, easy to read etc. Appropriately, I read it on the loo, which is the only time and place I get to read.

And yet, even after the reading the book, I still couldn’t pluck up the energy to start the potty training. It was cold, middle of winter, I wasn’t feeling at my best…. You know how it goes.

Then, about a week ago, Kate decided she no longer wanted to wear nappies. Actually, she didn’t want to wear pants. Little exhibitionist. So I said to her she could take her pants off if she promised not to wee on the floor. If she wanted to wee, then she had to wee in the potty. And so she did. And of course, whatever the one does, the other one wants to do, so Adam is potty training himself by default.

It is a little soon. I am not quite ready for them to do this, because it is still cold here and we don’t have central heating. We have just one trusty gas heater in the lounge, so it is cold inside.  I can’t have them walk around with no pants on, and if I put pants on them then sometimes they forget they have no nappy on. But I can’t stop them of course and so they are mostly without nappies during the day at home. And they have been quite good. Kate is a little better than Adam as she can keep the wee in for longer. The time between Adam’s “wee wee is coming” to when the wee wee actually comes is about 0,05 seconds. Resulting in the potty dash – mother going from zero to 100 in 7 seconds, leaping over furniture and other obstacles to grab the potty and shove it under his bum. I would have preferred to wait until the weather is a bit warmer, but there you go. It looks like they are potty training me.

Back to the book, if you want to get a good book on potty training, I suggest you get “The Potty Training Answer” by Karen Deerwester. She really has put a comprehensive, easy to read book together.

However if you want 3 tips from someone who knows nothing about any of this, read on:

1. Make a huge fuss when they go on the potty. Praise them and tell them how great they are. They love that shit (no pun intended). This morning Kate went on the potty herself (i.e. felt the urge, pulled down her pants, made a wee and then pulled up her pants again, all by herself). I very enthusiastically said, “clever, clever girl. Thank you for weeing on your potty”. To which she nonchalantly replied “pleasure, my dear”. That child.

2. It is easier for them to realize they need to use the potty when they are naked from the waist down. Panties feel too much like a nappy and they sometimes forget. So waiting for warmer weather (if you don’t have central heating) isn’t a bad idea

3. Don’t be in a rush. If you wait long enough, they will potty train you. Only (half) joking. Seriously though, don’t stress if they don’t do it at exactly 18 months or two years or whatever. Even if your sister’s child, who is a whole YEAR younger than yours, is potty trained before yours are.

Still need more info? Get the book.

Pizzas and CDs

I am having my neighbours over for dinner tonight. Because I like them (better the devil you know etc), I've decided not to kill them cook.  Am ordering pizza instead.  Best pizza in Cape Town.  Thing is, I need to keep the pizza warm. What is the best way to do that? I do have one of those box like things that has knobs on it and warms things up. I think it's called an oven or a stove, or something like that. I have one of those.  I also have a microwave.  Help?

Then, what is the best way to get sticky finger marks, bits of cereal and smudges of juice off a CD?  I don't have a CD cleaner, but do I have many and various different flavours of cleaning stuff. 

I might not cook, but I am a clean freak.  Can't be good at EVERYTHING!

Sensory Integration Dysfunction / Sensory Processing Disorder – Part 4

When Adam was about a year old, even before he got the SID diagnosis, several people recommended I read “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I guess because they could pick up even then that he was an intense baby.  At the time I was too overwhelmed by having twin babies that although I read it, I couldn’t take much of it in. I recently reread it (after reading her great sleep book “Sleepless in America” recommended to me by Orange) and I fell in love with the book properly this time. It is a great book, not just for kids with sensory integration dysfunction, but any child who is a little ‘more’ – more intense, more spirited, more sensitive, more shy…. An excellent book, highly recommended.

One of the things the author does is challenge us to view our ‘more’ children in a positive light. To use positive frames of reference when referring to our spirited children. As I said in a previous entry, I’ve never seen Adam’s specific sensory issues as a negative, or as a disability. I guess because his SID is not debilitating and because I have sensory issues too, and I think I am pretty ok, I’ve actually always viewed him as pretty special. Almost gifted, in a way. However the one thing I have done, is to see more of the challenges he will face than the opportunities. Again, based on my own experiences I suppose.

Society values ‘normal’. At least it did in my day. A child with sensory intensity is different to ‘normal’ as so I worry about how he will cope when I am not with him. I worry that people will see his determination as stubbornness, his passion as inflexibility and his intensity as being a bad thing. And so I worry about him. I worry about how he will cope when he goes to play school next year. I worry about how he will cope when I am not there. I worry too much, I know.

But besides the worry, I am constantly reminded how absolutely brilliant he is when it comes to noticing the world around him. For example, he is always asking me ‘what’s that sound’. He notices all the background noise that ‘normal’ people don’t take note of. “What’s that sound Mom?” That’s the noise of the tyres going over the speed bump in the road, my boy. He hears things that we don’t ever notice. And he is so keen to learn more about it. We have long conversations about the noises he hears and where they come from.

He also notices things far beyond what most people do. It is amazing. When we drive in the car, he gives a running commentary on what he sees. Bulldozers, red cars, cranes, trucks, diggers, runners, cyclists….he talks non-stop. Whenever I can, I will stop and roll down the window so that he can see the bulldozer etc up close.

A few weeks back we drove past a bulldozer busy clearing a piece of ground, behind one of the shops. Then around three weeks later I happened to drive down another road for the first time, one that runs parallel to that piece of ground where we saw the bulldozer and he immediately knew where we were. He peered through the window from his car seat, “Where’s the bulldozer gone Mom?” Amazing. I can’t believe that he can orientate himself like that. 

Then on Sunday we were driving down one of the main roads towards the mall. A dual carriage road that I only drive on about once every two weeks or so. Two weeks ago we drove past the scene of a car crash (great excitement! Tow trucks!) and when we drove past the exact same piece of the road Adam asked me where the crash had gone. I can’t believe how he remembers that stuff and how he is absolutely brilliant with directions and orientation.

It is like he sees more than what we do. As if he has a helicopter view on the world. The world is fascinating to Adam. And I know all mothers think this, but I think he might actually be bloody clever. (He gets that from me)

There are lots of other good things about my boy. He is sweet, very very loving, fiercely loyal and protective (especially about his sister, even though she bosses him around ALL DAY LONG), clever, funny, happy, kind, friendly, sunny, outgoing, strong, beautiful. He is such a friendly, happy little boy. And so confident. He will go up to any person and chat to them, no matter who they are. I love that about him. I love everything about him.

And then there are the so not so divine parts......

Sensory Integration Dysfunction / Sensory Processing Disorder – Part 3

(I'm going to truncate this post, it is long)

I’ve told you a bit about what it feels like to have SID. What it feels like to live in a world where all the messages are clamouring for attention, all loudly, all at the same time. Where some of the messages actually cause you physical pain, they are so intense. Noise does that for me. It physically hurts. Sudden touch physically hurts. I think people think I make that up. I don’t. It really does hurt. Anyway, back to Adam.

When I first took Adam to OT, she said to me “look at his hands”. His hands are often away from his side, fingers splayed, palms facing outwards as if to ward off an attack. The OT said that it is because Adam is so sensory sensitive, that he is constantly waiting for the next sensory insult. His body is always hyper aware that something might accidentally brush him, or knock him over. So he is always hyper aware, hyper vigilant.

I am going to mix things around a little, because I have so much to say on this! From my own personal perspective and from his.

One of the biggest learnings through all of this has been understanding more where I come from. Why I am the way I am. When I grew up there was no label for this. You were just quirky. When I saw that photo of myself when I was Adam’s age, with my fingers splayed, I felt a little pang for the child I was.

The whole ‘waiting for the sensory insult’ thing makes so much sense to me now. I HATE being touched accidentally (even on purpose sometimes), I always have an extreme reaction. Now I know why. I go into overdrive on the fight/flight response and unfortunately I instinctively choose ‘fight’. Which is why I fractured Marko’s ribs (by accident!!) when he poked me in the side. The lashing out thing is instinctual.

Unfortunately, that is something Adam does as well. He lashes out when he is under ‘attack’. And while I understand why he is doing that, it is not something I want him to do. He can’t lash out at other kids or other adults, he needs to learn to modulate his response.

Something I haven’t done, is explain what happens when we go into sensory overload. I like to think of it like a temperature gauge or rev counter in a car. Sensory input is like putting your foot on the gas pedal of the car. You push the gas and the needle on the rev counter goes up. As the revs go up, you know to put your foot on the clutch (if you are not in America. If you are in America, the car does this for you *grin*) and change into a lower gear (i.e. you tune out some of the message, you process the other ones, you respond appropriately). The revs go down, the engine quiets down and hums along at an appropriate modulation. With Adam, the foot stays on the gas pedal. He can’t seem to take it off and gear down. He goes into the red. And his gas pedal is so sensitive. The slightest pressure sets it off.  I am not talking about having a tantrum. Those are different. That is what ‘normal’ kids (like Kate) do. This is a freak out that borders on hysteria. It is a reaction based on fear, not on anger or frustration. One of the tricky things for mothers of SID kids is to distinguish between what is normal two year old tantrum behaviour, and what is SID overload stuff.

When I am around, I can see when or what will set him off, and I intervene. I jump in before he gets into the red, or I help him get out of the red if he has gone too far. I do this by taking him out of the situation, going to a quiet place and holding him tight (deep pressure). I talk softly to him, telling him it is ok, I am here. I hold him until his engine is able to idle on its own.  Which is a surprising quick process by the way. I am always amazed at how quickly he is able to come back down again.

It all sounds good and comforting that I am able and willing to do that for him.  The problem is that I am so super sensitive to his reaction that I hover. I jump in as soon as I see him hitting the red.  I stop him from getting over hysterical. Which isn't good. He needs to learn what it feels like to hit the red and develop skills for coming down himself. To calm himself and respond appropriately. But it is so, so hard for me to see him stay in the red. Every fibre of my being screams out to save my child.  But I am trying, I promise.

Sensory Integration Dysfunction / Sensory Processing Disorder – Part 2

I must just reiterate that these reflections are from a personal perspective. I have no professional experience, I am sharing with you what my personal experience has been. Remember, I am dealing with mild SID/SPD in Adam (and myself).  The SID spectrum is very broad.  Severe SID is a whole different ball game and sometimes comes with co conditions like autism, ADD, Aspergers etc.

When I think back to the time when Adam was a newborn, I want to cringe. I wish I had known then what I know now, it would have made life to much easier for him. And for me. I had no idea. I just thought he was a difficult baby.  Thank goodness I had Kate or else I would have thought I was a terrible mother. Luckily she showed me that what I was doing wasn’t wrong, it just wasn’t working for Adam as it was for her.

Let me take you back to how I found out that Adam had SID. In fact, it was exactly a year ago.

Adam has always been an intense child. I don't want to label his as a 'difficult' child (although it was difficult to take care of him sometimes), but an intense child. As a baby he would scream louder, get hungrier, more angry, more hot, more everything. In fact, I recently remembered what the NICU nurse said to me where Adam spent the first 12 days of his life. She said “sjoe, maar dit is n kwaai seunjie daai”. Translated as ‘wow, that is one cross / intense little boy’. Knowing what I know now, I want to weep in anguish for my child. Those of you who have been in the NICU will know that it is filled with harsh lights, horrible horrible loud noises – alarms going off all the time, talking / machines / smells / doctors. My poor, poor child. He must have gone mad in there. Total sensory overload. From a dark, safe womb to painful overload. Breaks my heart. Anyway, can’t think about that.

A year ago I got a call from Adam’s swimming teacher. I was sitting at work. She called and started the conversation with “this is a very difficult call for me to make, but I need to tell you something. I think your son has sensory integration dysfunction”. She went on to apologize profusely. She didn’t want to upset me, but she had first hand experience with SID (her one twin has severe SID) and she recognized so much of it in Adam. I was extremely grateful to her for being brave enough to call me; I am not one to stick my head in the sand about these things. If there is something I can do to help, then I will do whatever it takes. But I was devastated after the call. Not by the possibility of it being SID, because really, there are FAR worse things that could happen, but because no mother wants their child to face potential difficulties in life, and SID can cause some distress to those who suffer from it. But it was also a slight relief. Adam was SUCH an intense child; anything that helped me help him was welcome.

The funny thing was that a few friends in the computer had mentioned SID to me before. Based on the things I had written about Adam. I heard them, but at the time I didn’t take too much notice and then that Sunday I decided to Google SID and I went cold when I read the symptoms. It was as if they were describing my child to a T. But of course, I am wary of self-diagnosing through Google. We all know how dangerous that can be. But it ate at me. It rang too true to dismiss outright.

That Wednesday night I told Marko that I wanted to take Adam to be assessed for SID.

The swimming teacher phoned me on the Thursday. By Friday I had tracked down the best SID person in my area and made an appointment. He was officially diagnosed with SID a few weeks later.

He now goes for weekly OT sessions and we do several other things to help him. And he is much, MUCH better. I knew he would get better as he got older. And things will continue to improve. As his speech improves, and he begins to understand more about his world, and his reaction to it, he will improve all the time.

The OT sessions really help. Adam’s OT is wonderful and actually treated my little brother when he was young boy as well. Adam adores “Aunty Nita” and loves going there. She is great with him. Very calm, but firm. She keeps gently pushing at his boundaries and he although he has a moan about it during the session (he usually cries at least once), he seems to trust her implicitly because he loves her and loves going there. So good for him.

As a side note, Kate always comes with me. She refuses to stay home and so I bring her with me and the two of us sit in the waiting room, having some one on one time while Adam does his session. It would have been nice to spend some one on one time with myself, but there you go. Instead Kate and I build puzzles, or play with the blocks or read stories while Adam does his thing.

The other things we are doing to help Adam is to follow the Wilbarger brushing protocol. Read that link, it is very interesting. We use a soft surgical brush to brush firmly against his bare skin on his arms, legs and back. It helps enormously. If he is having a huge freak out meltdown, the brushing calms him down amazingly. It really works. I should do it more often. I don’t do it enough.

Another thing we do is let him sleep under a weighted blanket, which he loves! He always asks for his ‘eavy blanket’. I wish I WISH I knew about the weighted blanket when he was a tiny baby. If ever you have a bad sleeper, or a child he has bad Moro reflex (aka startle reflex – all babies do this) do yourself a favour get a weighted blanket. It is the biggest undiscovered secret in the world. Adam used to wake himself up all the time with the Moro reflex until I couldn’t stand it anymore and put him on his tummy to sleep. The weighted blanket would have helped so much. Sigh. Ok, stop looking back Tertia!!

Then, I cut out all the labels on his clothes (I’ve done this on my own clothes ever since I can remember. Labels drive me nuts). If he says his pants are itchy, I simply turn them inside out (he can feel the seams in the pants). He won’t wear zips that touch his neck and he won’t wear anything that is tight on his neck. No hooded tops. Nothing itchy or scratchy. This is the part that I can so relate to because I am exactly the same.

There are two other things I do to help him and that is (a) routine and (b) preparing him for what is to come*. I suppose the two actually go hand in hand. Having a trusted routine allows him to be prepared. We are anal about the routine. The order. The Way Things Work Around Here. We all know that when we wake up in the morning, we go to the lounge to have a bottle, then we play, then we do this, then we do that etc. We never fuck with the routine. Having a routine is helpful to most parents (some hate it) and apparently most kids thrive on having a predictable routine. Sensory kids crave it. They need to predictability in order to modulate the messages. All the sensory books respectfully implore the parents of sensory kids to try their best to have a predictable routine. Being totally anal, they don’t have to beg around here. I LOVE routine. (I have German ancestry, must be that)

Of course there is a flip side to that, and that is what I am going to discuss in my next installment. The challenges of living with a child who has SID/SPD.

(Hope you aren’t bored with this? I am enjoying writing it and I hope that Adam will find it useful to read back on it one day)

* Remember that moan I had about people letting me down after I had already told the kids something was going to happen? Some of you said that one should never tell the kids beforehand. And you are right, of course. Except when it comes to sensory kids. My friend Orange emailed me and commiserated with me. Her boy, Ben has sensory issues too, and she understands that you have to prepare sensory kids in advance. It’s a bit of a catch 22. Especially because once you have prepared them, they handle the disappointment really badly! Moral of the story – don’t let us sensory folk down!! We don’t dig surprises, good ones or bad ;-)

For those who aren't interested in the SID posts..

...another cross-post from my Times column:

Mother Shoulder

I’ve had this weird pain in my left shoulder for a while. It feels a bit like tennis elbow, but in your shoulder. Not that I would know what tennis elbow felt like because (a) I can’t play tennis to save my life and (b) that would assume that I actually exert myself in some way, shape or form; which is about as plausible as me playing tennis.

I was moaning to my husband about it (as one does) and he displayed his usual care and concern – he ignored me and turned the volume up on the TV. Another spectacular display of sympathy from the one who promised to love me ‘in sickness and health’. One of his many endearing qualities.

It was a few days later that I discovered the cause of the pain.....

Read the rest of the story here.

Sensory Integration Dysfunction / Sensory Processing Disorder – Part 1

I started this post a while ago, but it got too long. Instead of doing one long post, I have decided to do a few post focusing on different aspects. What SID/SPD is, the good and bad points, how Adam is affected by it, what we are doing about it and a few other comments.

I am by no means an expert on the subject; all I know is what I’ve learnt through my own experiences as someone who has lived with SID/SPD and as a mother to a child who has SID/SPD.

What is SID/SPD?
Firstly, we call it SID here, I think you call it SPD there. Same thing. There is so much info available on the Net about it, and so I am not going to bore you with the technical details. Here is a great site with loads of information. 

Wikipedia defines SID as follows:
Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID, also called sensory processing disorder) is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with processing information from the five classic senses (vision, auditory, touch, olfaction, and taste), the sense of movement (vestibular system), and/or the positional sense (proprioception). For those with SID, sensory information is sensed normally, but perceived abnormally.

The way I like to think of it as follows. All of us live in an environment that sends messages to our senses all the time. We hear noises, we feel the wind on our skin, we feel the sand under our feet, we smell things, we taste things. Because there are so many messages being sent us all the time, we manage to ‘tune out’ most of the unnecessary ones. We know our socks are on our feet, but we don’t keep feeling the sensation of having socks on all day. The messages sent from the skin on our feet has been processed in our brain and put on mute.

Do yourself a favour. One day when you are in a mall, stop what you are doing to listen. Listen really hard and allow all the noises to start registering in your brain. Stop your brain from tuning out the noises, just listen. The people talking, the air conditioners, the cell phones ringing, the babies crying, the wheels of the shopping carts, the banging, the calling. Noisy huh? Imagine hearing ALL those noises all the time. You would go mad in there. So you tune the noises out. You press mute on most of the receptors in your brain and you just keep a few on call in case you need them (your own cell phone ringing, your child calling you, ‘dangerous’ noises – i.e. ones that aren’t normal).

Now imagine you weren’t able to press mute on those receptors. Imagine you heard all those noises all the time. Imagine you couldn’t push mute on the receptors that kept sending you messages like THERE IS A TAG IN YOUR SHIRT THERE IS A TAG IN YOUR SHIRT THERE IS A TAG IN YOUR SHIRT THEREISATAGINYOURSHIRT. Eventually you want to rip your shirt off in the mall and tear that tag out.

We all get messages from our environment all the time. We have to, to stay alive. Most of us learn to modulate our receptors to those messages so only the important ones come through. The new ones, the unusual ones, the dangerous ones. If we didn’t, we would be in a constant ‘fight or flight’ stage of hyper awareness, which is not only super stressful, it is exhausting.

Some of us are more sensitive to certain messages than others are. Some people have a keener sense of smell. Some people are able to pick up subtle differences in taste. Some people have low tolerance for itchy or scratchy clothes.

Think of a spectrum, on the one side there are those who have very few receptors. Someone could fart right under their nose and they wouldn’t notice. Then on the other side, there are those who are not only able to smell sour milk from 7 miles away, but the smell of that sour milk is so strong that it makes them nauseous to the point where they are unable to concentrate on anything else. Most people operate someone where in the middle of the spectrum. Some a little to the left, some a little to the right. People with SID operate towards either end of the extremes, known as hypo sensitive or hyper sensitive. I am over simplifying of course, but you get the picture.

As Wikipedia explains, there are the five senses we are used to: touch, vision, smell, auditory and taste. And then there are two more senses that we don’t often speak about – vestibular (sense of movement) and proprioception (sense of positioning). Some sensory kids have sensory issues with all 7, some with one, some with a few. However even those kids with just one or two sensory issues will often be a little more sensitive to the rest. As I said above, some kids are hypo sensitive (they need strong / many sensations to process the message), some kids are hyper sensitive (even a slight sensation shouts the message).

Adam’s sensory issues are most with the vestibular and proprioception senses, although he is sensitive to the other senses as well. Mine are touch and auditory.

As I have said many times before, I don’t see Adam's SID/SPD* as a disability. I don’t even see it any more as a ‘label’ than being ‘arty’, or ‘bookish’ or ‘tall’. It just is. Sure, it makes it harder to do some things (it certainly makes it challenging to parent a child like that!), but perhaps because I have it too (and look how well I turned out!!!), I just don’t see it as a negative. In fact, I see it as special. One could even say it is a gift.

Sensory kids often see more, taste more, smell more, feel more than average kids do. They experience and feel things that other kids might miss out on. They are inventors, discoverers, scientists, artists and great humanitarians. They world needs sensory kids to discover cures and create great things for the generations to come.

So, there is chapter 1 in the SID/SPD Info Sheet. Tomorrow I will share with you what it is like living with a child who has SID/SPD.

*Edited to acknowledge the one commenter who remarked that severe SID/SPD can be severely disabling.  Those who have it badly have a really tough time. What I meant to say is that being diagnosed as SID/SPD does not necessarily translate to a disability. Adam's SID is certainly not a disability, but then again he has a very mild form thereof.

Love is blind

Marko and I are not the most affectionate couple. Physically affectionate. We do love each other, very much, we just don’t do that whole kissy / huggy thing. We each have our own ‘half’ of the bed and trespassers are prosecuted. Which suits me just fine. I can’t imagine anything worse than having someone (other than my children) touching me all day. Or all night. Or at all actually. Luckily Marko is just like me.

Or perhaps it is not so lucky. There is something quite sweet about seeing a couple in love being so openly loving towards each other. Of course, the ones that do do that are obviously not married. Everyone knows married people only kiss and hug when they want something. I mean, they are MARRIED not DATING for goodness sake; there is no time for that lovey-dovey shit. 

I’m joking of course. Kind of. I do like to see couples hold hands. It gives me a warm feeling inside (which is better than a sweaty palm), and I especially like to see older couples hold hands. There is something so heartwarming about seeing an older couple still in love with each other. Gives one hope.

There is an older couple who I often see walk past my house. And every time I see them, they are holding hands. For their entire walk, they hold hands. It is so sweet. And every time I see them, I think how wonderful it must be to be together for so long (I am assuming they haven’t just met) and still want to hold hands. Marko and I stopped holding hands after three months of dating. I drove past them on Friday and had such a strong urge to stop my car and tell them how much I admire them for still holding hands at their age.

Marko and I had ‘words’ this weekend. One of those "chats" where you get cross, shout and scream a little bit, clear the air and then resolve to try harder with each other in future. One of the things we said we MUST do, is be more affectionate with each other. So when we drove past the couple today, I seized the opportunity and said to Marko, “just look at that couple. Isn’t it beautiful how, even at their age, they are still so much in love that they hold hands wherever they go. It makes me feel all warm inside”.

To which Marko dryly replied, “You do know that the man is blind? His wife is holding his hand so that she can lead the way”.

Thank GOD I didn’t stop and tell them how sweet I thought it was that they were still holding hands at their age.

I am such an asshole.

It is still sweet though, just not quite for the reasons I thought it was.

Busy Braaiing

"We have 11 different official languages but only one word for the wonderful institution of braai: in Xhosa, English, Afrikaans, whatever....." says Archbishop Desmond Tutu in a BBC article.

It is National Braai Day tomorrow and as such I will be otherwise engaged.  Hope to be back to our regular programming shortly.  Happy tjop and dop day everyone. 

More info here.