Well, there you have it

Using the fertility monitor has been very tricky with Kate around. Kate is our little much appreciated and adored alarm clock. Yes, even though we don’t need to be awake until much later, darling Kate wakes up every morning between 5 and 6am. She is a total morning person and 0.25 seconds after opening her eyes she is singing, wriggling, wanting me to sing “Mrs Miss Polly had a dolly”. Which I do in an effort to get her to ‘please my girl, please lets lie here for another five minutes’. Singing anything that early in the morning is enough to give one a splitting headache for the rest of the day. Especially when you get “another one Mom, louder!” This morning, all within two minutes of waking up, I had to sing Miss Polly, then sing it like a baby, then “sing it like a spider” (WTF??) then I had to “be like a monkey, Mom”, then when I asked if we could just lie quietly for a while I was told I was very naughty and that I had to go to my room. Then thank goodness it was Marko’s turn. All before I’ve pried the sleep out of my eyes.

Anyway, you are supposed to use the fertility monitor just after you have woken up and with Kate around, this has been a bit of a challenge. I first tried to sneak off to the bathroom but having the nose of a bloodhound, she is quick to ferret me out of my hiding place. “What you doing Mom?” Which signals the end of our lying down for the extra five minutes.

My next trick was to leave the monitor next to my bed, so that I could surreptitiously sneak my arm out and take a quick reading. (If she thinks I am getting up she is out of that bed like a bullet) Which worked until she found the monitor lying there. “I do it Mom”. There is something a little weird about seeing your daughter with the fertility reader thingy in her mouth, taking her readings.

Then this morning, after a terrible night with Adam (he has a cough, had to neb him at 3am) she woke up at FIVE am (oh dear lord). After finding the monitor next to the bed, she decided that “I be the doctor Mom”. In desperate hope of just five more minutes of lying down, I gave the monitor to her while she ‘beed the doctor’ using the monitor to poke around my feet.

The next thing I heard a crash and an “oops” and there was the monitor in pieces. Battery out, all my readings lost.

Well, there you have it. I’ve been wondering whether using the monitor was just creating extra negative stress and if I should stop using it. Looks like I have my answer. For this cycle anyway. Just as well, because this cycle is a total mess anyway.  I’ll pack my little monitor away until later and just shag for fun this month. Probably better that way.

That Kate. She is an unbelievable child. And she used to be such a sweet, good baby. I have no idea where she gets her sassiness (and dress sense) from.

Those of you interested in the words for Miss Polly, read further. Perhaps I will tape us singing it. V catchy tune. V annoying tune after the 100th iteration.

Miss Polly’s Dolly

Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick

She called for the doctor to come quick, quick, quick

He came in a hurry with his bag and his hat

He knocked on the door with a rat-a-tat-tat

He looked at the baby and he shook his head

He said to Miss Polly, “Put her straight to bed.”

He wrote on a paper for a pill, pill, pill

I’ll be back in the morning with my bill, bill, bill.

Comments

[Liza]

OMG children are...yeah. Better than what my oldest did--turned down the biliblanket on the middle child and made the poor infant have umpteen heelsticks before we realized the dial had been tampered with...yours is more zen. SIGH...

[Geohde]

I think I'll stick with the wee-sticks. It sounds safer :)

[KL]

Hi T, came across the on another blog that I read daily and I'm sure that she won't mind if I share this on your blog, it's as she says so that other people can understand what it feels like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

KL

[jodie]

Ah you guys are very proper. Here Mrs Polly is Miss Polly which I guess makes her a single mom...or unmarried with a partner...or didn't change her name...or prefers women. Whichever way you look at it, Miss Polly must surely be a sinner.

If you want a song that will be guaranteed to drive everyone nuts but that Kate will love - look up Dr Knickerbocker (you can get it on iTunes).

Sorry about the monitor. And the 5am wake ups - oh dear lord!

[Heather]

You really can't put anything past kids. They have to know everything going on and to be a part of it. Gotta love the little dears. And Kate's very fashion forward. You didn't know this was the latest on the Paris runways?

[Judy]

Its the "oops" that gets you every time. That's when I do the DEEP INHALE and micro-eye-roll.

That Kate. I love her sense of fashion - being her own girl! YAY!

[pink]

Oh my goodness, Kate & Miss Pink are the same child! I cannot trust that anything of mine will remain untouched all in the name of being just like mommy.

[Megan]

My Child 1 was (is) a morning person too - very irritating in a family of confirmed night-owls. The only thing that saved her from being throttled was the fact that she woke up in such a charming mood. Very hard to maintain irritation at a little 5 a.m. waker who hums at you, flings its arms around your neck and declares its undying love. Must be a survival strategy.

[binkytown]

Oh dear. In SA can you buy ovulation kits? They are just like pregnancy kits- sticks that you pee on.

Also, I'm SURE you already know this, but in case not, make sure you get Marko's swimmers in there before you ovulate, don't wait until you do :)

[Summer]

I used a fertility monitor for a while, the pee on a stick and jam it in the machine variety -- which for me was pretty much useless, all it told me was that I was indeed ovulating when I thought I was -- and during that time we went on a camping trip with my then 3.5 year old son. I love camping, and normally don't at all mind peeing on the grass, but the timing of this trip was such that I had to pee on a stick on the grass, and my son saw me doing it. He was curious, so I explained what it was for, to help me find out when was the best time to try to make a baby. When he got back to school on Monday, he told his teacher I was going to have a baby, and she sent me a congratulations note. SO EMBARRASSING. I had to tell her that I was not, in fact, pregnant, but declined to tell her WHY the boy thought a baby was forthcoming.

Thumbs up for shagging for fun. That's my plan, too.

[Gina]

Those are the cutest wellies ever.
Of course little Kate in them is just too cute!

[21stCenturyMom]

ROCK STAR! The writing is on the wall for Kate.

[sjo]

Gina already mentioned it... but I'll repeat - cutest wellies ever! Her look is very Fergie (from Black Eyed Pees) meets Zoe from Sesame Street. (Do you have Sesame Street in SA?) Or also very PINK meets Tinkerbelle.

I hear ya about the mindfuck the “natural” conception can be. My hubby still brings it up after S E X and it drives me crazy. I have to keep reminding him that his eternal optimism makes me feel worse that just letting it go already!

[samantha]

my friend showed me this funny story of true child obedience, check it out and let me know what you think. http://www.mypetpeeves.com/plog/index.php/archives/2465

[Stefanie]

What a little doll that Kate is. My ds hits the floor running in the morning. My dd (11) is so NOT a morning person. She is quite moody until noon or later.

[Wobs]

My son's favourite was "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and kiss from me to you...." thanks to that big fat purple dinosaur. There were days when I was ready to dismember poor old Barney!

[Janis]

I probably shouldn't share this, it's cute but rather naughty.

My twins are sitting here looking at the computer with me. They love to see pictures of Adam and Kate.

Anyway, I scrolled down, Livia saw Kate's picture and says "What the hell is Kate wearing?!?!" *blush* The worst part came next, "I LOVE IT!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH HAHAHA

I swear these kids are going to drive me to drink. More. Much, much more. ;)

Sorry about the monitor...

[S]

Tertia,
Why don't you take up a collection for another IVF? You have already helped other people. Let us help you this time.

[angel]

aaaaaaaawwww... she's adorable t! congratulations!