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Tertia, I wonder if a line from a book may help? LM Montgomery, who wrote the "Anne of Green Gables" books had this piece of advice in one of her novels - When I'm 80, what will I regret doing or not doing? (Misquoted - can't remember the exact line.) This sometimes helps me make up my mind - when I'm 80, and remembering my life, what will I think of my choices? What will I remember as being good about my life?

Good luck with whatever you decide, but try and do what will enhance your life, whether it be living quietly, with small fond memories, or the grand gestures.

My most beloved LIFE RULE:
"If it isn't fun... don't do it!"
Spoken as a gal who invites scary challenges into her life on a frequent basis!
Do your cost/benefit analysis and than stay on the couch! To me, the fact that you are agonizing is a clear indicator. There are things in life we don't want to do, but, if they give us actual anxiety i think we need to sit them out.
Good luck with your choice!

my vote: ditch both of them and go for a little cultural edification at the Spring Cooter Fest:



Who are you kidding? Of course you want to do it! If you didn't, you would have just said "No thanks, I don't want to do it."

You'll do great - remember how you freaked out about speaking to the conservative Jewish audience and how you enjoyed it? Just make sure you have key notes as a back-up (incase your nerves make you forget, which I doubt). From what I gather you like a challenge - see this as one.

Hey Tertia,
I agree with Ann. I think deep down, even though it scares the shit out of you, you want to do it. For all the reasons that you listed. The reasons in the not to do it list, were not enough of a reason not to do it...and you know that. :-)

Good luck and make sure you tell us when you are on telly again.


Hi Tertia, I never miss an interview or an article! You are my inspiration. I am currently in my first (and hopefully only) IVF cycle and (no pressure or anything ;-)) {need} would love to hear from you again so that when I am feeling s%&t scared and like I can't do this thing - I just look at you and KNOW that I can! You have an enormous impact on our lives and you have become our voice! And if it's any consolation you always look gorgeous and divine and speak as though you are a lark singing! You know this, of course!!
Good luck with your decision!!

Just do it, damnit. It will be good PR for your NEXT book. And once you're there, it's all good... it's more the time before that makes you wanna puke, right?

Just do it so you'll become even more uber famous and get that book published here in the U.S. We need it! I need it!

Or...don't do another thing you don't want to do just because it's the right thing to do. Take care of yourself. As for your "Doing this type of stuff is brave, and I need to be brave," what a load of bull! You're one of the bravest women alive! You don't need to continually test yourself to drive home that point.

Gorg pic in MyWeek btw.

I pressed the wrong vote thingie! Oops. I think you should do it. But also completely understand the 'not wanting to do it' part too.

You either want to do it or you don't. This is not the first time you are doing something like this. If you have to think about it so hard then you shouldn't do it. In my book, "doubt" means "don't".

Little Blog says to tell you that an idea doesn't make you puke, food does. But today she admits people can also make you puke (at http://littleblog.amagama.com). If you don't puke, she will put you on her blogroll. Oh, she already has. Oh, well, do what you have to do.

I think you will be great!!

It's better to regret the things you've done, and not the things you haven't done!!

Hmmm. On the one hand I definitely believe in stepping out of the box, feeling the fear and all that jazz if, and only IF it aligns with your life goals. Don't let the word "goals" freak you out. If it aligns with what you want out of your life!

However, I listen to my gut all the time. I recently turned down a big project because I just didn't feel right for me. maybe for someone else but not for me. I don't know why but I do know that when I've ignored my gut feeling, things have gone very wrong/ taken a lot more out of me than what initially appeared/etc.

Hope this helped Tertia.

Ummm, you do know that you were born to be in the limelight? Right? Think of Kate, Sr.

I say stretch yourself! There's a reason these opportunities came up - don't let a little anxiety keep you from soaring!

Do it! You'll sell more books so that you can stay home with Adam and Kate.

I've just read the interview and something you said should go some way toward helping you with this decision,
'Success has a lot to do with perseverance. After Kate and Adam were born, I ran into an acquaintance who’d known about my struggle, but not the happy ending. He congratulated me, and said: “Aanhouer wen.” That’s how it is. Perseverance is everything. I had to determine my own future.'
It may be scary and it may make you puke but it will lead to pride and grace. Go for it! :-)

I'm thinking that you've done some work on public speaking before, but there are some good tips that you should really use. I'll repeat them, in case you don't knonw. If you do, ignore the random drooling bumblings laid out here.

1) Use cue cards. You don't have to write down every single thing you want to say, but put down trigger phrases that tell you what you wanted to say next.

2) Really, rehearse it. In front of a mirror. Seriously. It may feel stupid, but it works.

3) Make sure you have a beginning, middle and end. Structure it so that there is a crecendo and an ending, especially. A speech that trails off into nowhere is unsatisfying to listeners.

4) Remember - you're talking about your own life, by and large. How can you be intimidated talking about the thing you know better than anyone else?

In life... there is 2 emotions that guide us and our decision. Fear and Love. I hope you will choose love (and no love for your couch is not the one I am talking about!!!) It is ok to get out of the house and do scary things....you always have a home to go to,where you are loved no matter what!!!

Now go get them tiger

Beta Blockers!! Seriously. Ask your Doctor. Also known as propranolol. They are the anti-stage fright drug. I take one 20mg pill before I speak and I'm not nervous. No vomit! And, as a consequence I'm quite good at my speaches now. Still would rather stay on the couch. But, the pills make something once horrible just another part of the job!

Bravery is being afraid but doing it anyway.

You're stronger than you think. Do it.

couches are only good for one thing: getting pregnant.

you need your $1.50/book. so, get your ass out there and put food on the table.

I say do it! But then again, I've been a stage-whore since my toddling days, so my perspective is a bit different. But in some ways, I do have a similar perspective to yours, because I too have suffered infertility and prenatal loss, and I've thus had to learn the hard way that these are still taboo subjects that people try not to talk about. Ever since my first reproductive misstep, I've made a point to talk about it. If we aren't brave enough to talk about it, to bring it out into the light, who will be? If we don't talk about it, other women will suffer in silence, feeling like they're the only woman in the world who can't easily make a baby. If we don't talk about it, our friends won't know how to offer comfort, or even if they should.

You've been brave enough to share your story in the written word, Tertia. Now you just need to be brave enough (again) to let an audience connect your story to your beautiful strong face. You can do it. What's a little stage fright, compared to all you've been through?

Besides, you can have a big glass of wine right after.

You started this adventure, keep it going! Those of us that are fertility challenged need a spokesperson. Just think, if you make it easier for just one more person, it's all worth it. You've already made it easier for many of us, keep it going. We love you and most importantly SUPPORT YOU. Tertia - we in internet land are very, very proud of you.

I always answer difficult questions with..."When I am 100 years old, sitting on the front porch of my house with my 10,000 cats, will I regret not doing/doing this?"

remember how much you dreaded that speaking engagement for the Jewish organization? and remember how thrilled you were, and the glowing post you wrote afterward?

I also hate public speaking, but it seems that more often than not, you end up having a great time. Also, your "pros" list is much longer than your "cons" list.

I voted for the stage. Not just because it is the "right thing to do" for others, but that it is probably the right thing to do for you. Maybe it's also clouded with what would be the right thing for me. I try to force myself into public speaking as I've always thought it was something I had to continue to work on to be successful in life.

Do it afraid.

Has anyone else noticed how absolutely G & D Tertia looks in that photo in the article????????
You look fucking HOT!
No. Seriously.

If you don't do it, I really think you'll always wonder what it would have been like. I'm with Carol; feel the fear and do it anyway. TV is your Everest...and you can climb it!

You forgot one thing on each list: how you'll feel after. After the stage, you'll feel a great deal of personal satisfaction and confidence. After the couch, you'll feel relaxed...but smaller.

Maybe I'm projecting here....

You KNOW you will regret it if you don't do it.

You are not the "just sit on the couch" type!

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