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Go for it, if that is what you want. I would not do it (yet) but one of my close friends had hers done last week and she is very happy, and looks great.

It is a personal choice!

I'm not interested in getting my boobs done but think I would get minor work on my face if I ever had enough disposable income. But if I had to dip into retirement or emergency savings, or go back into debt, forget about it. Not worth it.


I don't think you are going into this without having given all the pros and cons careful consideration. I really think you are doing it for all the right reasons, and I would DEFINATELY love to have mine done at some point in the future. (3 kids and gravity ain't kind!!!)

Had an interesting conversation with a colleague last week - she had hers done as part of a reconstruction after several lumpectomys. She still maintains it was one of the best gifts she could have given herself, and said that if she had not had the medical reason for the surgery, she would definately still had it done for purely cosmetic reasons.

You go Tertia! I have never considered plastic surgery myself, but not for any of the reasons that you mentioned, but because I think that doctors, surgeries, whatever truly suck. The only reason I went near a hospital is because I had to have a fibroid removed, and to have my twins, and I hated it both times (the actually having my twins things aside, the whole surgery aspect still sucked, I hate being messed with in any form). I wouldn't go near a hospital by choice. That being said, why can't surgeons do a two for one deal? I think if you have to be on the table and under anesthesia anyway, you should be able to get your boobs done while you're having your appendix out, for example? :) If I were having any kind of plastic surgery done, I would get rid of the excess twin skin on my belly and have my stomach done. It will never go back, not even with exercise. My boobs may be a little 'empty' but it's nothing that a good bra can't take care of, it's the belly that bothers me. After the giant fibroid from hell and the twins, and two surgeries in the same area...well you get the picture. To make a long story short, I totally understand where you're coming from.

Hell Yes. I think you are doing it for absolutely the right reason's and even if you weren't . It's YOUR body.

I would do it in a heartbeat if I could. I am now gonna be very jealous of you

I tend not to be into things that require surgery just because I had several operations as a child, including heart surgery, but I do something that I once swore I never would -- I get my hair colored blond. Why? Because I was blond until about ten years ago and that's still the way I see myself. I feel better when I do it.

I don't think I would ever opt for elective surgery for this kind of thing, but it's all a matter of degree.

Oh, weird. I didn't realize I'd be posting right after another Elaine. We're different people, I swear! It's not even that usual a name!

This may be the best argument I've ever heard for getting a boob job. In fact, I might even print it out and keep it for the day when I decide to get a boob job of my own (and that day WILL come, if I ever manage to have another child, or if I ever come to peace with the fact that I will not have another child and can move on.) Best of luck with the appointment!

I'm torn! I would sorta kinda like an option for "what business is it of mine" on the poll, but on the other hand you've nicely asked for opinion so therefore... well, tick off a "yes, why not, your life, your money, your boobs and dang it wish I lived in a place that had really good medical for very little dosh."

One thing you didn't mention and it isn't a pro or a con, just something to think about... I don't think its a one shot deal. If implants are the option you go with, I'm pretty sure they need to be replaced every 10 or 20 years or something and they don't always feel the way they did at the beginning. That would be what would deter me. Lifting, though, that would be my dream, just to put them back where they used to be. Good Luck!

There's a quote from Cher (US star, sings, used to be 1/2 of Sonny & Cher) who admits to having lots of plastic surgery - They're my boobs and I'll put 'em on my back if I want to! Do what you want.

OK, I voted for "no, giving in to society's expectations." I totally understand your arguments, and think they're basically sensible, and really, my feeling is, do whatever you want, it doesn't affect me one iota. But I voted that way because I feel like you're missing a crucial bit of the "societal expectations" argument, which is that, yes, you're doing it for yourSELF, not to meet society's expectations, but by believing that firmer boobs will make you sexier, haven't you basically just internalized the societal expectations? That is, it FEELS like you're doing it for yourself, but that's only because you have totally bought into the whole idea that firm, perky boobs are sexy. (OK, I'll grant you that this may actually be biologically programmed in for men, who may subconsciously use such cues to guide mating behavior, but your whole point is that you're not doing this for everyone else, least of all other men.) But if you and everyone else thought that slightly empty, smallish boobs were totally sexy, then this wouldn't be something you'd even be thinking about. Again, totally support whatever you choose to do, just felt like this point had been missed in the current and preceding discussions about this.

Ag man, just do it if you want to. They are yours at the end of the day.

If anything, I'm jealous! I'd love to have some cash land in my lap so that I could feel justified in doing a combo lift (got 'enough' they're just hopelessly saggy at this life point) and lipo (not overweight by allot, but carry my extra 10lbs in ugly saddlebags that bother the heck out of me.)

You go girly!

Brainy Girl - thanks for your input. I love discussions like these.

It is not the firmness of the boobs that makes me feel sexier, it is the deliberate and deliciously decadent decision to actively feel sexy and be sexual. And THAT makes me feel sexier. Does that make sense?

But let me ask you this - if somehow I've internalized societal expectations that firmer boobs are sexier (and it is not as simplistic as that), then does it really matter? If it makes me feel sexier, and this is something that I want, then does it really matter? Shouldn't we be celebrating the freedom to be sexy in whatever way we want?

Damn, we need wine and comfy chairs. Would love to have this discussion face to face. You and the others.

I think that a breast augmentation should be considered reconstructive surgery for any woman who has had or has nursed a child (or 5). After having a child/children your body is not in it's original form. In other words: Your kids ruined your boobies, you have every right to fix them. If your kids ruined your sofa, you'd fix that. I've been saving my pennies and nickels for the last 3 years so I can be returned to my natural form. I say Go for it!

I just plain like you. Very much.

Am So with you on this concept - you know I am... in fact I am jealous already at the thought of your appointment!! Having said that, I KNOW you will think everything through very carefully, research it to death, google all the options and make the best decision for you. I too say Go For It! And I want all the gory details...
Love me

Back again - Very interesting point that Tertia made in the comments section. That it's the active CHOICE of doing something specifically to feel sexy that is the key component. Totally get that. In fact, the first thing I thought of when I read that was those Brazilian waxes you were getting (still getting?). How ungodly painful and nightmarish they were to get (I shudder to think), but how you still felt they were worth it in terms of feeling sexy and the pleasure that that brought. Guess the boob job is similar (minus the stubble, I hope!), though taken to the next level...

Exactly BG! You get it. I wanted to actually make the point about the Brazilians.

(although haven't had one for a while, haven't been feeling like feeling sexy.)

Tertia, I am one who said in the last boob post that you should wait and think it out first, that I was concerned it was a distraction and a way of not dealing with other things going on. That said... sounds like you waited, thought it out, and you still want it so GO FOR IT! Good luck and I hope you love them!

I agree with your risk vs reward theory. I am against it because for me personally, it is not worth the risk of injury to my health today or possibly later. For YOU it is. I don't think it would make me sexier or I don't think I need to be that sexy anymore. It also may not be as medically risky as I think. I also think you look pretty good.

I am also not all that into the society thing. We put WAY too much pressure on ourselves as women as it is. We need to lighten up. Women already color their hair and nails and put on makeup.

I am wondering if anyone would approve of the nose job but not the boob job? Is there a difference?

I've have had two babies 14 months apart. My youngest is 4 months. I know about the "empty boob syndrome" I hate it and would love to fix it. Perhaps in a few years I will. Good luck!!

I've not been able to have children yet, but I've heard what they can do to your boobs, and if it happens to me, you'd better believe I'll be getting a boob job. For me.

haha, i love the sliding scale people use. what do you wanna bet that the "you should be happy with what god gave you" folks wear make-up, or dye their hair. isn't that also changing what god gave you? i've changed my sinus and nasal passages, because what god gave me sucked, and i couldn't breath! sometimes what god gave you isn't working anymore, and god also gave us the people with the skills and technology to change it. go get your new boobies tertia!

I think it may be time to focus on you and just living for a while, put the projects on hold. You seem to jump from one project and one thing to focus on to another. I think Marko has asked many times that you focus on him and the kids without all the extra hoopla for a while. Give it a try! You are a great person, a great wife, a great mother just enjoy it a bit. Someday you may wish you'd put off all the projects that suck up so much time!

Tertia, on the risk point it is less the risk of dying on the table (which is real but small) but the risk of what the implants do to your body over time. It's worth doing the research on that if you haven't already.

Being a sporty girl - and NEVER being too well endowed in the breast department, a boob job would not be for me! However - I am not opposed to a nip and tuck here and there! In fact - if I could afford it, I would be all for weekly botox!! You see - for me - wrinkles are my greatest fear! I am now 33 and on my 3rd pregnancy and I am petrified of wrinkles!!!

I am all for plastic surgery. Once I have kids, I plan to everything put back where it should be. ;) You sound totally logically to me, my only concern is being out under...since it's elective surgery..but other than that, YAY to Boobs!

I would definately say go for it, if you want it. I plan on having mine done in the next few years. I keep hoping to have another kid before I get them done, which is why I haven't done it yet. They're starting to have a "slope" effect I'm not liking too much. I'll be adding a little on to size too. Good luck at the appt.

I used to have a double chin that made me look matronly, middleaged, and fat even when I was a slim teenager. Soooooo embarrassing. If I was ONE OUNCE over my ideal weight it showed up under my chin. It was so conspicuous and embarrassing. It made me look menopausal compared to my peers. Even when I was UNDERWEIGHT I still had a double chin. Seriously, I looked like a 60 year old dowager when I was 25 because of my stupid double chin.

I really used to dread looking at photographs of my face.

I had it fixed when I was 35. Such a relief to get that thing taken care of. Such a minor procedure and so worth it! My only regret is not doing it sooner.

I think that the plastic surgery naysayers don't realize the damage they do to people, like me, who really benefit from surgery: the naysayers make us feel guilty and fearful, as though having a procedure would mean we're anti-feminist (I'm a dyed in the wool feminist!) and means we unnecessarily delay procedures that correct minor problems that are really disfiguring and embarrassing.

It's as though the naysayers expect us to "rise above" and be "more noble than" our superficial society. Why? Why is all the burden of being noble & high-minded placed on those of us who, to be honest, could really use a little surgical help?

It's sort of like people putting the burden of caring for orphans on infertiles. Yes, there are children in this world who have no homes, and the responsibility of caring for them should not be placed exclusively on the shoulders of those who've lost a biological lottery and are infertile: the responsibility of doing something about that problem should be borne by all of us.

Similarly, yes, our society overemphasizes women's appearance and undervalues women's brains and character, and the responsibility of doing something about that should not be exclusively placed on the shoulders of those who, like me, have lost some biological lottery and, without a little surgical intervention, would appear oddly older than their years. The responsibility of creating a world that recognizes women for their brains and character not jut their looks should be borne by all of us.

Hey Tertia, I never comment but I have a strong opinion on this one. I have two kids and I am a nurse. I have always been pretty heavy and recently lost 50 lbs. Went from sz 16-8. I had a tummy tuck in Feb. and think it was the best thing ever. I am all for natural, but that hanging piece of flesh was too gross. This summer I wore my first bikini ever, and felt good in it. I love me new body, and i did work hard for it, but plastic surgery helped. My opinon is why not ? You only get one time around. I am happier then ever and finally content with my body. We have made peace. Good luck with your decision.-Megan

Here's the thing. I absolutely think you should do what you want to do, understanding all the ramifications of it. And I don't think it should matter what I think, if that makes sense.

What I have observed, though, is someone very near to me (my mom), who has, in my opinion, gotten a little carried away.

First she got a tummy tuck. She's always battled her weight, but had finally gotten to a good, stable place where she looked pretty good. She felt if she got the tummy done it would be flat and then she would finally be able to accept her body as not perfect, but good.

She was de-LIGHT-ed by the tummy tuck. Woo hoo. Success. Flat tummy.

Then a couple of years later she decided to have her eyelids lifted. They'd 'always' bothered her, and why not, if it would make her feel more attractive and look younger? Once she'd had the consultation, she decided to go ahead and do UNDER the eyes, too, because, well, you know, since they were already working on her ...

Now she's thinking of a boob reduction/lift. Her plastic surgeon (! my mom has a plastic surgeon that she refers to in this way !) tells her that of all the surgeries she does, women are the MOST happy with this one. She's well-past childbearing age, so the surgery is not so invasive (they don't have to worry about trying to save milk ducts, etc).

And, really, why not? Why struggle to find a bra that lifts and supports the girls? Why not get the surgery and have them lift on their own?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can be a slippery slope. Once you've fixed the 'worst' thing about your body, by definition there will be a new 'worst'. That isn't to say you shouldn't do it, but just to say you should be aware of how much easier it'll probably be to do it another time. And another. Until you become one of those plastic women with the perpetual 'surprised' look and the puffy collagen lips that no longer looks like the G&D natural Tertia, but like some phony facsimile that supposedly look 'better'.

Just for the record, I think you look great the way you are.

I'm not totally against, or totally for plastic surgery. There is a time and a place, but in general I think it's overdone.

Several things come into play when I hear that someone wants plastic surgery:

--Is this a serious flaw that can't be changed my any other means? (i.e. they won't ever have a picture taken because their nose upsets them too much. they won't ever wear shorts or skirts because the have "ugly" veins. etc.)

--Is it *just* societal pressure? I know that I wanted a boob job when I lived in LA...but now that I'm out of that environment I never, ever think about getting one. Coincidence? Maybe you still want it, even if it's only for society, but then you need to ask: will I feel differently when times change? When I get older? If I relocate? Etc.

--Is it worth the risk? Health risks, botched job risks, etc.

--Is it worth the money? I hate to see people go into debt for a little self esteem boost. Plastic surgery is known to be addictive (you're almost guaranteed to get a second job done once you've done one). Do you really want to spend $1000's on such things? Wouldn't a vacation also make you happier and create fun memories. Okay, I admit, the boobs might look better in the Bahama bathing suit pictures if you get the boob-job...but personally, I'd rather have that money for more trips, you know?

I guess I sound pretty 'anti'. I'm really not. If you assess the risks, have no money issues and feel confident that you'll really appreciate them in the long run, then so be it. Enjoy. Post pics :)

Just wanted to comment on the "falling to society's expectations" argument. If after having children, a man's penis started to deflate do you think there would be ANY discussion on whether re-inflating it was the right thing to do? Heck no, the men would just go get in the "reinflation" line at the docs office and do it. No discussion needed. So why are we (as women) being so hard on ourselves?

I voted that you should do whatever you like, but I would not personally have a boob job. Frankly, I just don't think augmented breasts look as nice as 'real' ones (what a ridiculous descriptive, of course the augmented ones are real). But ask me again when I am done nursing my kiddo...

BECKY!!!!!!!! I almost peed myself reading your post about penile re-inflation! You hit the nail on the head, my dear! I think that this is still truly a man's world... men are the ones who are putting out the idea that we all need to look like Blonde Supermodels in order to look/feel sexy, or, as close as we can. If only we were the ones in charge of deciding what would look sexy, well, i can tell you, that while I have personally had multiple episodes of "I'm just having a little work done"... and, I think Tertia (and all of us) should do whatever we wish with our bodies... that the ideals we are trying to achieve are created by men for us. That's the part I hate about all of this.
Men "age well" naturally.
Women have to get their veins fixed, their noses bobbed, their boobs lifted, tummies tucked, fat sucked out of every imaginable place, skin re-surfaced, hair dyed, teeth fixed/whitened/laminted/veneered, make-up application lessons, etc. in order to "age well".
For the record, I am totally jealous of Tertia's boob job. It's only for lack of funds at the moment that i am not having mine done.

I just wish I was the one who got to decide what looked sexy in our society for a woman, rather than man.

T., you go girlfriend! Post before and after's would ya?

I hear you all the way! Very well said. You should do what makes you feel good.

First of all, I say go for it. I see no harm.

But, dear Tertia, you are extremely resistant to ideas you don't agree with. I'm one of the ones who said something like "pick your battles" initially when you asked, which I guess is a version of the "accept what God gave you" mantra that so offended you.

For the record, I don't think I or anyone was saying we should all lie down and never pursue any self improvement or life improvement. We were saying that it's wise to understand that life will never be perfect and to pick our battles accordingly. Is it worth it to pursue medical intervention to have kids? No question. To improve a scarred face? Most definitely. To enhance not-quite-perfect boobs? Maybe. To remove a spider vein on the back of my thigh? Maybe not.

You are a super-driven and super-high-schieving woman, and I think some people were simply suggesting that you become a bit more accepting of the ordinariness of life rather than constantly pushing for a new thrill or a new perfection. This is quite different from saying you should not have a boob job. Still, I think your vehement resistance to the people who suggested you "just accept" speaks volumes.

And in fairness to the naysayers, I think you cheapened their advice by boiling it down to "accept what god gave you."

Victoria said, "I think that the plastic surgery naysayers don't realize the damage they do to people, like me, who really benefit from surgery: the naysayers make us feel guilty and fearful"

I'm not picking on you Victoria, (really, I'm not!) but that line of thinking has always bugged me. No one can make me feel anything unless I decide to let them. Let's just say my Husband is trying to make me feel guilty for not doing something I said I was going to do, and I end up feeling guilt about it. He didn't make me feel that way, I did it all on my own.

I think it is wise to feel some fear about elective surgery. Many people obviously move through the fear and successfully get through the operation but there are also lots of people who have complications, or even die from elective procedures. I read a story a while ago that stated that the CDC estimates that each year nearly 2 million patients in the U.S. get an infection in hospitals, and about 90,000 of these patients die as a result of their infection. That's quite a hefty statistic, one worth considering when comparing the risk versus reward.

In the past I've been pressured by people to get a breast reduction. I have extremely large breasts and that seems to bother others a whole lot more then it does me. They way I look at it, feeling ill will toward any part of my body only brings bad energy to that part. If I spent all my time resenting my large breasts I would be pretty miserable. So, I embrace the body I have. Oh, and to address the comment, "you should be happy with what god gave you" folks wear make-up, or dye their hair" that isn't always true. No make-up for me, my hair has never been dyed etc., so I'm sorry but I don't fit into that generalization.

My best friend flew to another country to get implants a couple of months ago. She was going to have her nose done at the same time, but backed out of that. Now, I found that interesting. From a purely superficial POV her nose is definitely out of proportion to the rest of her face but her boobs were fine as far as I could see. She felt she had some of that emptiness going on from post breastfeeding and it bugged her bad enough to risk her life and get the implants. So, I've wondered, why the boobs and not the nose? Why go through so much (emotionally, monetarily etc) to create someone else's ideal of perfect? Christ, my boobs haven't been "perky" since they first sprouted when I was in grade 5! I'd be one miserable sod if I tried to live up to that ideal.

In the few years that I've been reading this journal I've "seen" you do lots of things that involves someone else helping you feel better about yourself. Go to the Doc for a pill to make you happy, a doc to put braces on, a doc to help you have babies, a doc to fix your boobs. And that's all great, the technology and resources are there for you to accomplish these things. I wonder though, when do you look to yourself to help you feel better on the inside? I tend to think that all the external fixing in the world doesn't mean a thing if you aren't happy with who you are on the inside too. Boring, but true.

I think that if you want to do it after having informed yourself fully, then go ahead.

Me, I'm planning a tummy tuck for when I'm done having babies, and maybe a breast lift too (sans implants). The thing that scares me about procedures requiring implants is that the implants have a risk of degrading or shifting and often require repeat surgeries 10+ years down the road. If you're prepared for that eventuality, okay. I'm not, so implants are out for me.

Go for it. My friend (no honest!) had liposuction and swears if she had the cash she would do it again. Of course during the weeks of pain and having to wear the medical body stocking she swore she would never do it again but there you go.

In this case it was definitely no pain - no gain. Or perhaps no pain - no loss of bottles of fat. Must remember not to watch Fight Club again.

i can't wait to fix my boobs and scrotum belly. i don't think it's asking to much to fill out my bra and not have to tuck myself into my pants.

i say go for it!

Okay, I think Flidais is off base in comparing a boob job--elective cosmetic surgery--to fertility treatment (which involves helping the reproductive organs to function as they're supposed to), orthodontia (which involves helping the teeth and jaws to function as they're supposed to--can also be cosmetic but poses practically no risk at all), and antidepressants (which involve helping the brain chemistry to function as it's supposed to so you don't want to kill yourself). None of those three things constitute "turning to someone else to make you feel good about yourself."

And I'm not quite as anti-plastic surgery as you think I am, Tertia. I'd be tempted to get a boob lift (though I'd have to balance the risks against my other health conditions), but I would need to get a reduction in order for the lift's results to last. And I don't want a reduction! My boobs aren't big enough to give me a backache or anything, so there's no medical indication for a reduction. Would suck tremendously to spend all that money getting a lift, only to watch the girls droop down again within a year.

One last thing, Tertia--are you wearing expensive bras that fit properly and give the right support? If you're not, you could get a modest boost from better bras. Would at least tide you over before you went all Pamela Anderson.

I think it's cruel to say we should "accept what God gave us." Nobody "accepts" it ALL, not even the Amish. I'm with you - some of what God gave me sucked too, and He seems not to mind me fixing things up a bit.

Just take into account all of the potential side effects. At the cunsult, the doctor WANTS you to have the surgery because that means money in his pocket. He might respect your decision if you change your mind, but be warry that the doctor will paint possible complications in a miniscule light. And if, God forbid, you find yourself in a bad physical state that you can't explain, please consider the possibility that some people "reject" breast implants. It makes them very ill. If you decide to do it, I'm sure that it will only make you even more G&D than ever and that will wonderful. I think we all just want to see you healthy and happy - and well informed!

satwins - Hahahahahha. I love the term "scrotum belly"! I am pregs with my second right now and can't wait until the day that I can can get a tummy tuck. Its not that I want to look like a teenager again or whatever "societal expectations" are, its just that my belly looks nasty, plain and simple. Saggy with that weird division in the middle. And that flap of skin that makes that crease at the bottom. No matter how much weight you lose or how many sit ups, it ALWAYS there. Ugh. Scrotum belly is a perfect description.

Orange - Re-reading what I've written I agree that I should not have included the "doc to have babies" part so I do apologise for that. (I'm sorry Tertia, please excuse my poor wording) I do personally have experience with procedures/operations done for both necessary and elective reasons though, so I am not totally talking of out my ass ;)

I guess when standing back and using the information I've been provided through reading this journal I see a lack of "holistic" care but a lot of searching to feel better. Does that makes sense? I am trying to word my thoughts better but don't seem to be having a lot of luck with it today.

Infertility, being taller then the "average" woman and my big tits have really challenged me to accept myself as-is and through the slow road to acceptance I've found a certain amount of inner peace about it all. I just think that fixing the outside stuff needs to be tempered with a good helping of loving yourself "as-is" too, that's all.

I think you're missing the point that many people who spoke of opposition to a boob job have made, in this post and to your others. It's not about accepting what God gave (ridiculous), adhering to social pressures, or setting a questionable example for you daughter.

It's about an awesome woman who has achieved so much judging her own happiness based upon her BOOBS.

It may be none of my business, it may be all about you, but it makes me very pissed off at internalized social standards of beauty and happiness.

Best of luck, regardless of your decision.

Just one thing to consider.
Are you SURE you are done with considering having any more children?
Because if you wanted to breastfeed in the future, it might not work after a boob job (but then again you said you had reduction so maybe you didn't breastfeed with the twins anyway - sorry but I just don't remember.)

I am surprised you feel the need to rationalize it to us dammit! If you want it DO IT :)

I picked other.

Because I was seriously considering a boob job and then 2 things made me run screaming.

1.) A picture of a 70 yr old woman in a swimsuit who had "aged" everywhere except for these two round mounds for breasts. It just looked really really bad and I hadn't consider the long term cosmetic implications.

2.) I love my nipples. I need them for sex. It is my favorite part of sex and would hate myself forever if I lost sensation in them.

Now, a neck job is very likely in my future. But, I'm hoping to hold out for another 10 years on that one.

ok...just read your comments in the comment section so I'm want to throw this question at you.

Why do you want to feel sexy?

You've stated several times that you don't want to have sex more than once a week. You are hopelessly devoted to darling Marko who just wants to get in your knickers, so obviously it isn't to attract other men. So, are you really just trying to jump start your sex drive? Are you hoping that "feeling sexier" will lead to wanting sex the way you did when you were 21 yrs old?

I was slightly opposed to plastic surgery until a few weeks ago when I mad an appointmenrt to see an opthalmologist about getting my eyes fixed. That's changed my perceptions a bit. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with bad eyesight. I wear glasses, but I hate the way that looks in photo's (especially outdoor ones where that slight glint detracts from what I think are quite pretty eyes) and no-one ever notices if I make an effort with my eye-makeup. Sure I could wear contacts, but much like a push-up bra they are a schlep, uncomfortable and you can't wear them to bed.

I say go for it, but maybe also keep in mind that if you are an addictive personality, post boob-op you'll be more open to other plastic surgeries anyway, and there is a line that should be drawn somewhere ...

Please just do your boobs or your nose or whatever surgery you want to. It's your body. You don't have to discuss every little thing on the internet. If you decide to do your boobs the whole world is going to know now. Not that it's anything to be ashamed of but for me personally, I would want people to wonder "did she or didn't she?".
Each to his own I guess.
You have obviously given this plenty of thought and are going into the procedure with an open mind. That is a good thing.
Please just go and get it over and done with and stop discussing it with the whole internet. It is becoming boring.

Ah gee, sorry it got to a point of making you despondent Tertia. My initial thoughts were "oh boy! why is she taking this public...!?"

My answer to myself was that you like to keep your blog juicy, and secondly that you do really want to hear what people think. But not so much no more... :)

I ticked other but only because none of the given options worked for me. I don't really have a better answer. I do wonder why you feel the need to fix yourself when you seem so fine as you are but when I imagine a flabby stomach or seriously unahppy breasts, I'd possibly also wish I could change them. Not that I would but I'd wish I could (I think.) Maybe that's my option to tick. "I can understand the desire to change but I'd never do it for purely cosmetic reasons."

I don't think Tertia wants to do it for anyone but herself though. I don't think she wants to do it for how she'll look to others. I believe it has everything to do with how she feels about herself in front of the mirror and that's between her and herself. So good bras won't matter. It's the naked view she wants to change and I respect that she feels the need and no-one can talk her into changing how she feels about her body.

Ouch Julia, that was a little harsh. I've always shared every thing on my blog, why wouldn't I share this? I like to share. That is me. I'm sorry you feel it is boring. And as for people knowing that I've had it done - I DON'T CARE! I don't care what other people think. As with everything else in my life, I am happy enough within myself about the decisions I make. I don't care that there are people who judge me for doing IVF, for having braces, for being on antidepressants, for having my boobs done etc etc. I thought it would be interesting to chat about as I find the different view points on plastic surgery really interesting. I'm sorry if you feel differently.

Go for it madam!!

I am very scared about plastic surgery. And about something like this in particular, for the reasons you list above.

But I understand YOUR reasons for doing it. You're doing it to make your boobs look better in your opinion. Not because you have perfectly good boobs but want huge ones. Not because you feel inadequate in any way. I accept that you're not doing it because you feel pressured by Marko or by society.

And of course it won't affect Kate. She's too little to have any idea, and you getting your boobs done at 29+ to improve how they look = very little impact on a daughter anyway.

If you were 22 and getting huge implants because a B cup just ain't sexy enough and you have to hold onto your man, that'd be different!!

Your blog, you body - I've always liked your openness and honesty on this blog. Go for the boob job if that is what you want!!

Doesn't the surgery often impact on sensation......so you end up with nice boobs that hurt so you don't want them to be touched....what's the point in that....?
...and then you have to have them replaced every 5-10 years....
And aren't you a bit worried they may harm you long term....we still don't know if these things are safe. Think about all those lawsuits by women who have been harmed by implants.
I don't really buy your argument that you only want these things when you aren't depressed...if that is the case why did you go to the appointment now when you have admitted that you are not feeling the best?

Hey Tersh :)

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I guess you should do it if you are COMPLETELY comfortable with your DECISION to do it. Like you said: you are doing it for you and nobody else.

Celeste says 'everybody needs a lift even if it's in your bra'. Gotta love that!!

I actually like that you are sharing with us, especially since you are not obliged to. Let us know what you finally decide.

Ummmm.... if somebody finds a blog boring isn't the obvious solution not to read it?
Oh, wait! I get it! T., now you're supposed to cater to your reader's wishes and turn this into "their" blog, rather than "your" blog!
Oh, JOY! Soooooooooo glad I got that one!

Once again I think this is the depression or some "need-to-hop-from-one-project-to-another" talking.

I TOTALLY agree with those who keep saying (and which you for some reason didn't say in your poll -- that poll sure is a little black and white there, girl) just wait a while. Wait a year. Wait til you're utterly and completely psychiatrically stabilized. Wait til your circuits are firing maximally til you make such a big decision.

I said this before and I'll say it again: I don't think it's smart to make decisions while ill. And you, by your own admission, have been quite ill lately.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again: it is ill-advised to have general anaesthesia while you're switching around anti-depressant regimens.

Tertia, for god's sake, give your family and your aching self a little undivided attention for a little while. Give yourself a chance to have some peace and quiet and stable emotions.

And for the record, I'm NOT anti-plastic surgery. First off, I've had some myself. I think it's an awesome option when people have time, energy and health to spare. You, however, don't strike me as having any of the three.

I personally will be very very sorry to see you go under the knife. Having done it myself, I can promise you -- you will have a period of regretting it -- a period of physical pain, a period of emotional upheaval, a period of not being an optimal wife and mom. Maybe after that period you'll be fine, maybe even happier with your body.

But make no mistake: there will be a period when you and your family will be sorry you took this step. Maybe it will be a brief period, or maybe it will be prolonged. I am very afraid that, given your current situation, this period will be longer than you like.

I'm shaking my head in dismay, Tertia. I adore you from afar. You are smart, you are divine, and you truly are already gorgeous. But this is a silly, silly move at this particular juncture in your life. And I just hate seeing smart women make silly moves.


One other thing, Tertia (as this whole thing has gnawed at me for several weeks, ever since you posted about how severe your depression and anxiety have been).

Tertia, if you had written us and said you had another illness -- let's say diabetes -- which had spiraled out of control and your doctors were now saying you were, say, "a brittle diabetic" and would need medication changes and new therapies, would you then be making an appointment for elective surgery like this?

If you had written us and said, "You know I've had multiple sclerosis ever since I was 13 and mostly it's indolent but this last month I've had a severe relapse; I'm on new meds and have my fingers crossed," would you then be making an appointment for elective surgery like this?

If you had written us and said, "You know that lupus-thing that runs in my family? Looks like I might have it!" would you then be making an appointment for elective surgery like this?

If you had god forbid had a cancer before and had just had a test that showed that you were at risk for relapse and had written us "The doctors found a little worrisome rise in the blood test, but we're going to wait three months and then check again!" would you then be making an appointment for elective surgery like this?

All I'm saying is, your recurrent depression is a serious disease. You are in the middle of a relapse. You are in the middle of fending off bad complications from the disease and the medications.

I really think you should look at your decision-making process in that light and treat your disease and its impact on your family with its seriousness in mind.

Thank you for listening. You mean a great deal to me (bizarre but true) and I would hate to see you suffer, all for some elective surgery you can easily delay until you're stable.


Tertia, I don't know who Redd is, but I'm glad she said what she said. No reputable plastic surgeon should let a patient make a decision while she or he is grappling with depression and waiting for meds to stabilize. Really. No reason not to wait a few months after the consultation before you decide.

In the meantime, buy yourself some ridiculously expensive bras that give the right support and fullness so your boobs look their very best when you're not naked. (I know, you're hoping to look better naked and bras don't do a thing to help that.) A nonsurgical way of boosting feelings of sexiness is to buy an effective little vibrator. Or skip wearing underwear sometimes to feel naughty.

Um... Tertia, it really depends on what it is for. I have a good friend who was disproportionate and I approve of her doing it - even going to a C. (I did warn her how hard it would be to find clothes that fit!) The other main reason I would be for go for it is if they are either way too small for your overall body proportion - or so large that they are causing back problems. (The back problem one is sometimes covered under insurance.) We all know that the IF drugs can cause our cup to runneth over, as it were. Sometimes that excess doesn't just go away!

To do any type of surgery, just to do it? Um... No way! I'm not that keen on losing a few days of my life to anesthesia. But, that is just me.



How did I find your blog? Oh yeah, I was looking up British English lingo as I've been around way too many Brits lately and have started to pick it up. It's very similar to a rash in some ways ;)

Anyway, I stayed and clicked around and found this post.

Now, I'm on the work with what you've got side re plastic surgery for a few reasons.

One, I don't need it...yet.

Two, I've got big boobs. Like you say, not everyone wants them or should get them, but I can't help but feel like "damn, another b^&tch with no hips to speak of now has DD breasts!" In what world does that happen naturally? Better question is what society thinks that is attractive?

Well, considering all the attention they get by looking like real life Japanese anime characters, I'd say society does think it's attractive or it wouldn't keep happening.

So that's my thing. I'll be honest about the emotion I'm feeling. It's just petty jealously of the tiny hips I'll never have coupled with the big boobs I do have (however, their boobs are also gravity defying - which is really not fair). It does make me think that a lot of men have more of a thing for transexuals and the women that resemble them than they want to admit though.

However, maybe I'll probably be singing the praises of a plastic surgeon should I ever have kids and the girls migrate further south than they already have.

There, I've admitted I'm jealous and that I've got enough vainity to flip on this issue which means I'm a hypocrite in the making.

Until I cross to the dark side of plastic surgery, I'm still in the work with what you've got camp. I do think aging gracefully and naturally is best, but who knows what I'll think when and if my breasts choose to move to my body's version of Antarctica.

I think websites like the Normal Breast Photo Gallery (http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php) is great because with the Internet, the gratuitous porn that you trip over even when you aren't looking for it and find easily when you are looking for it, plus the increase in plastic surgery I think we're all getting very artifical ideas of what breast should look like. The plastic surgeons and implant makers are laughing all the way to the bank. At least there won't be another silicone scare. I just hope that there isn't another type of scare.

I've looked at some of the other comments and I'd agree that if you're got depression, you really ought to be careful about this. I'm assuming you're getting treated, so what does your doctor treating you for depression say about this?

I'll have to jump on the back of Redd's comments and agree that maybe this isn't the absolute best time to make a decision about elective surgery.

Normally I'd say, "Go for it, girlfriend", but my personal experience has made it impossible to say so. See, just before I was diagnosed with depression, I got a tattoo. I believe I thought would make me feel better. Instead, I've got a tattoo that I regret.

I'm not saying not to get the surgery (of course, it really doesn't matter it all what I think at all - it's totally up to you). I'm just saying that maybe you should wait until the meds do their work, THEN make decision about the surgery. Then you'll know you made the right choice...for YOU.

go for it t!!! why the hell not!??!?

Hi, just want to thank you for this post, it's fantastic. I had a boob job in November and I feel brilliant about how I look now but am sick of the constant criticism I've been getting. Some people even give me these pitying, 'oh my god you must have such low self esteem' looks, others tell me I mustn't be a feminist. When will people realise that feminism means choice and freedom, not bowing down to ideals from the 70s that told us not to wear make up, dresses, or shave, and certainly not to have cosmetic surgery. I did not do this for a man, I did it for me. So thanks for the post, I hope if you did have the surgery it went well.

I've only had my breast implants for 7 months and I hate them. I hate the way they feel, hurt, make me feel, I hate the unnatural look, not being able to work out at the gym because of the pain! I've had two kids so I know what it's like to have small flappy boobs. I'm having my implants taken out within the next two months and I'm SO excited to get it over with! I love who I am and I care about my health, especially since breast cancer runs directly in my family, how would I feel if I had these implants and they missed something in a mammogram because of them and I wasn't able to be with my daughter's and to see their weddings or my grandchildren. It was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, I thank God for my wonderful husband who supports me because some men would be absolute jerks about it!

Well, i think your sister nose was cute although its a big,but nothing to worry as for this years there's a lot of specialist who will help you.

by: sphin

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