Things I am going to do once all this ‘trying for a baby’ shite is over:

1. File my tax return. Or at least, get all my receipts to my tax consultant. WAY over due. Way. Am queen procrastinator. Hate that about myself.
2. Tidy my study. I am tired of receiving final demands for bills lost in the pile.
3. LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!! Yuck.
4. See a shrink about going back on the happy pills. Can’t live like this.
5. Fix up my hair. The dark hair is not working.
6. Immediately stop spending as if there is no tomorrow. Sort out overdraft. Make a budget etc.
7. Tidy my cupboards. Give away the stuff I will never wear again
8. Pack away all the baby stuff for good. Sob.
9. Drink wine. As if I have ever stopped.
10. Try to stop drinking so much.
11. Make an effort to look after myself some more. Start liking myself again.
12. Order those multivitamins. 
13. Focus hard on my job and catch up with all the things I have been putting off
14. Tidy the play room. Give away the toys they never play with.
15. Find a decent / appropriate play school for the kids. 
16. Book the kids into a good primary school
17. Be kinder to my husband. This will require some effort as he is acting like a total fucking DICKHEAD at the moment. Asshole.
18. Go for that massage I have been promising myself. I know it costs money, but I need it.
19. Try and be happy again and live in the moment.

Comments

[Pam]

What about "Not beat myself up anymore for not being able to help everyone"? Because you really want to, but a some point, you have to reconcile that you can't help everyone, and acknowleding that can go a long way to being happier yourself.

And also: chocolate!

[projgen]

"Try and be happy again and live in the moment."

Working on that one, myself.

Bits still crossed for you.

[JuliaKB]

I think drinking wine can move up the list.
The list is rather ambitious. And makes it seem like you live at my house... Are you trying to tell me something?

[Suzie-Q.]

Please stop plagiarizing my list!

[~Jack~]

Yep, move wine to the top and STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF!

[Julie]

Bits still crossed....

What about the boobies????

(BTW had a neg HPT today - told hubby that my "pick me up and dust me off" request was a boob job (Gravity, 3 kids, HUGE weight gain, HUGE weight loss = seriously UNperky boobies). He is now looking at me like I am a two-headed alien. (The boob job is NOT an unreasonable request on my part - a little bit more loose skin and I'll be able to tie them behind my neck like a halter top).

[kristylynne]

Glad I'm not the only one who can call my husband an asshole one moment and love him madly the next.

I was making myself a similar list just yesterday. I also have a beta coming up next week, after a cancelled IVF converted to IUI. They gave me a 3% chance of it working. I SO do not feel pregnant. After this, we're done. May move on to donor egg in a year or so, or maybe not. So I feel your pain.

My list:

1. Get caught up financially, pay down ludicrous debt accrued through ART procedures.

2. File all the damn medical receipts for reimbursement through our Medical Spending Account (essentially, a free loan, deducted monthy from hub's paycheck).

3. Spend balance of Medical Spending Account money on self: new glasses? braces to fix my mildly crooked teeth? teeth whitening? boob job? laser hair removal for pesky chin hairs? some combo of these?

4. Enjoy the one child we have managed to pry from my rotten eggs and multiple IVFs. Spoil him, attempt to discipline him, love him madly.

5. Enjoy summer: use season pass to water park, play outside frequently.

6. Take child to the beach. Watch him freak out over the endless sandbox.

7. Save money for either: 1- Donor egg cycle next year, or 2- Airstream trailer in which we can spontaneously travel across America for the rest of our lives.

8. Think about all the money we'll save if we don't do DE and never have a second child, and fantasize about ways we will spend it.

[beck]

Bleg. There's always tomorrow. Perhaps. =)

[Jenna]

Good for you for projecting a future beyond infertility. Honestly, I never let myself think that far ahead. For me, I'm thinking that when this is all over it won't be for a good reason like I got pregnant or an expectant parent picked me to adopt their baby. I worry that "when it's all over" it really will be. I picture myself having died from a PIO overdose. Maybe my boobs will have exploded from the constant up and down of the meds, or I went truly crazy one day after my upteeth negative (oh wait, I'm way past the teenth arena ughh) or ... oh damn, the possibilities are so depressing.

[Refinedone]

...i think go for the massage first and love yourself again would a very goofd start girl!

[Heather]

#17 is also something I must work on. We love them but do we have to like them all the time? LOL

The budget thing is hard. We're working on that ourselves and some days, all I want is to go out to dinner without having to worry about what we're going to have to skip to make up for it. *sigh* Good luck! It takes some will power, but once you get into a good groove, it will get easier!

[Sissy]

What, you aren't going to learn how to cook? Good list, it is putting Tertia first, that has to feel good.

[SarcastiCarrie]

Be VERY afraid of #14. You will no sooner have taken the baby rattle and placed it in the box when Kate sees it, takes it, starts playing with it and Adam screams, "Mine."
"But it's a baby toy," you'll say.
"I'm the baby" will be the answer and so goes the cycle of why we still have every single toy ever.

[Kay]

Two things:

1. Clean the toys while Rose takes the kids to the park. It is impossible to purge toys with children in the house. Even if they are napping. They have a 6th sense about their toys. Whether they have personally touched them in a year or not. Trust me on this.

2. After you do your taxes, will you do mine? I'm a freaking CPA and I can't get my taxes in on time. Of course, 9 or so months from now, you'll have to do my 2006 AND 2007 taxes. I'll send wine.

[Melany aka Supermom]

One thing you don't have to worry about too much, is the tax returns. SARS haven't even sent them out yet. Only due end of October ;)

[Sister Mel]

Boobs must be right on top, its lots of fun.
And then, find a nice church with young families and kids.
(you could find a church 1st but they only bring you meals if you are sick, not after plastic surgery.)

[snickollet]

This list is inspiring. I think I need to write down some goals for myself and get out of the feeling fat, not exercising, procrastinating rut that I've wedged myself into.

[klr25]

this is a good list. strive for it all! there's a cool new website based around lists, and maybe this one will make you feel better:

http://www.onmylist.com/category/rants_tangents/Most_Effective_Birth_Control_Ever_Parenthood_is_Humiliating_1