Survival kits

 They (the people who make things) should make special survival kits for people in need.  Instead of a Hallmark card, we should be able to order these kits for the people who really need them.

Like a BFN (big fat negative) Survival Kit for people who have just got a negative result on an infertility cycle.

Or for a Freshly Broken Heart Survival Kit for friends

Etc.

For example, the BFN Survival Kit would include:

• 1x Bottle of the best wine around. Decadent, expensive wine because ‘fuck that, this infertility shit just cost me an arm and a leg and I deserve to drink good damn wine’
• 1x platter of sushi, because you just spent the last month not eating it, just in case
• 1x hamper of the softest cheese you can find (as above)
• 1x sinfully huge box of chocolates. NOT FOR SHARING.
• A flask of heavily caffeinated coffee
• 1x large packet of chips (MSG and preservatives a bonus). With or without dip.
• 1x box of tissues
• A box of smokes. Even if you don’t smoke.
• A voucher for a massage
• 2x DVD’s to watch while drinking the wine and eating the chocolate. Neither of them have any children or pregnant women in them, at all.
• 2x pain pills – one for the period pains (oh thank you God for the reminder) and one for the morning after the bottle of wine.
• 1x sleeping pill so that you can go to sleep and not have to think about the 20k you’ve just pissed down the drain. Literally.

What else? What have I forgotten?

In fact, you could probably use the same ingredients for the Freshly Broken Heart Survival Kit. With a few variations. Same thing really.

So much better than getting a card that says “I’m sorry”, don’t you think? Could have used a kit like that a few times over the years.

Sorry guys! Didn't mean to make you think my cycle had failed, I still have a way to go. This post is in reaction to many of my friends getting BFN's recently. But you are welcome to hold your thoughts over for when I get my results ;-)  Going for my first lining check today. Think of me.

Comments

[Kristin]

*hugs*

[D]

There is nothing to say to make you feel better, I'm so so sorry. Hug your beautiful A&K they will make you smile.

[Jenn]

Ah FUCK IT. I really wanted this to work for you but nowhere near as much as you wanted it. I hope the chocolate and red helped.

[Dominique]

Good luck for your appointment today.

[jazz]

Bloody marvellous idea! I want one!

[Caro]

How quickly can you get one of those over here to Denmark? Oh and can you add a vanish the MiL spell?

[Kareno]

Superb idea! It would be GREAT if I could order one of those baskests for all my BFN's. I lost count, but I'd start with 5 kits... should keep me busy for at least a weekend!

[Slim]

Voucher for a pedicure. At least my feet haven't let me down. They should be thanked.

Also a bottle of fancy mineral water, to be consumed before going to bed, to minimize the pain the next day.

[Cece]

Well - let me tell you what I did this weekend (after a supremly horrible week: a husband covered in hives on the exact days that I was ovulating on my last cycle before we start IVF, and me working 90 hours). I started with a nice long walk on a beautful sunny morning, got a mani/pedi, and then went to the yarn store (I love to knit) and allowed myself to buy a pattern and yarn for a baby set that I keep admiring but don't buy because I don't have a baby. I then went home, watched TV, knit, and them my husband took me out for lobster. I would have liked to have added in a nice hot bath also....

And I totally second the vanish the MIL spell. Please add that!

[Flicka]

I made an IF survival kit for the Barren Bloggers lunch in Washington, D.C. last year. I forget everything I put in but chocolate was definitely there!

[JuliaKB]

The kit sounds about right to me. Maybe have the masseuse come straight to the house, so she can drink some wine, have a massage, settle on the couch with more wine and those DVDs...

Thinking of you and this cycle... Grow, lining, grow....

[Molly Chase]

In the States, you can buy rolls of unbaked chocolate chip cookie dough in refrigerated tubes. I find that eating about half of one of those really works out fairly well in terms of the BFN survival, along with a smallish bottle of tequila. The tequila kills the germs in the raw eggs in the cookie dough.

[Melody]

I think that kit is PERFECT!!! I needed one a couple weeks ago when we got our BFN.

I'm thinking good thoughts for you during your cycle! I really want this to work for you!

[Dana]

I am heading towards my seventh round of IVF. Please, send me a couple of kits!! Can you please add icecream (chocolate with almonds)? And arnica cream (good for the bruises of the needles). Shopping is great therapy, so maybe a gift certificate too?

Dana

[21stCenturyMom]

That is a really outstanding idea. I hope I never need to use it but if circumstances warrant I'll be properly equipped to do something useful.

[kristylynne]

I think you pretty well have it covered. Personally, I just suffered through another failed IVF and am waiting to see if we can convert to IUI. I am presently DYING for a strong cup of coffee, preferably loaded with mocha and whipped cream. And once I down that, I want to drink about three beers, outside, in the shade. And then go get some sushi, with sake. But dammit, I have to wait until my BFN, assuming we even get to do IUI. Sucks, don't it?

[projgen]

Very timely; I can use one of these this week. And I want each item on the list. Except maybe the smokes. In my mood, I might be tempted to start again. I would add one thing: bubble bath so I can take a very very very HOT bath.

[angel]

so are you going to start making & selling these kits?