When is it ADD and when is just a convenient label?

Please would you help my sister with her ‘friend of a friend’ situation. The friend has a son who is not coping with school and his mom is feeling pretty desperate. She wonders if her son is just damn lazy and distracted, or whether he has ADD and she should have done something about it years ago.  So hard to know whether you are over or under reacting to these things.

Thanks guys, really appreciate it.

Click here to go to sister’s blog -->   Mel’s blog    

(May I just point out that OF COURSE the child will be professionally assessed.  She is not that stupid as to rely on the Internets for a diagnosis.  She is merely looking for any insight / understanding / empathy / personal experience etc.)

Comments

[anon]

The child needs to be assessed by a professional because it could be many things...

[Cricket]

I confidently suggest EEG Neurofeedback to assess his brain wave function. It's done wonders for my well being. It's electrodes for several months instead of medication/troubles for life.

[Vanessa]

Hi Tertia,
My son Alex is now 17 but was diagnosed as ADHD from the age of 5. We knew he was very hyper and had poor concentration levels from before then but the dr's would only deal with him when he started school. When he started school he was very disruptive and within the first 2 weeks I was called in. I even had his ears tested to make sure he could actually hear me. I went and saw a paediatrician at the Panorama Clinic (contact me if you need the name) who specialised in this area and she referred me to a centre at the top of Cape Town called the Pro-Ed Centre. I was questioned about him and our family background and he was assessed over quite a few days. This was quite intense and expensive but worth it 100%. He was clinically diagnosed as ADHD and they suggested he attend Tafelberg Primary School in Sea Point which I was initially devistated about but turned out to be the best option for him. He received all his therapies (physio and speech) during school time and was placed on Ritalin only during school to help with the concentration levels. He was/is a star and a very happy child. Alex only took his Ritalin for 2 years and left when we moved to the UK. He is still a very happy child but only has ADD now but we do control his diet. I still give him loads of fish oil tabs and he has now completed his schooling and happily doing a software programming course at college before moving on to Varsity. Please tell your sister's friend of a friend to read up about it (loads of books in the library) and to fully investigate and see the professionals. Diet is also a huge contributing factor. No junk, sugar or colourants. Not easy!
Cheers

[Nola]

My (now 14 yr old and achieving well) son had a similar problem in primary school. He was a 9 weeks preemie and really struggled with learning and sensory issues. I'd heard about the Omega 3 and 6 supplementation and started him on a double dose of (flaxseed) omegas 9He didn't like the taste of the salmon omegas when he burped). Within a couple of weeks he was concentrating, his reading and spelling improved and he was doing fantastically well. In fact last year he went on to going to the National Science expo finals and won a bronze medal. He's started high school with a lot of enthusiasm and is out performing a lot of kids. He's still on the supplements and hopefully will go from strength to strength.

Awesome blog btw.

[Melissa]

Raised by a school teacher, I was of the opinion that most parents that 'labeled' their kids ADHD were finding a convenient way to keep them in check without the hard work. It seemed as if it was just an easy way to deal with a problem child. My mom and I used to joke that if it would have been around when I was in grade/middle school, I would have been on meds.

When I met my now husband and his two kids, I was frustrated to learn that his son was on ADHD meds. Then I started doing homework with him. Started watching him struggle to accomplish the most simple set of instructions by memory. Felt his pain when his friends said that they liked him, but he needed to tone it down, he was too obnoxious.

I went thru three assessments with him in the last five years. I've seen him outgrow the meds he is on and then seen him fall back in to his comfort zone once we found the adjusted dose that would work for him. Fielded and responded to phone calls - him from school - "Melissa, I fogot to take my pill this morning, will you bring it up here please? I don't want to have a bad day."

Now that he is a full fledged teenager (14 - ha!) he is maturing, I can see it. But it doesn't change the fact that without his meds he doesn't retain information, can't sit still without fidgeting and struggles to follow the most basic instructions.

My step daughter was struggling in school at the beginning of this year. She's 10, fourth grade. When her teacher called us in to say she thought we should have her evaluated for ADHD I just really couldn't believe it. What are the odds right? And this is a teacher who had never taught, never met, my step son. No idea of the family history, yet here we are. And you know what? Her grades went up a full grade in EACH subject after four weeks on the meds.

In both cases, the kids development wasn't confined to discipline issues corrected. They are better at developing and retaining friendships, better at being more responsible people and in both cases I've seen huge improvements in their confidence levels.

So, to make a long story short (NOT!) I am of a completely different mindset than I was five years ago. Happy to share more details with anyone who would like to hear the positives.

I like to believe that we're not just medicating our kids to make our lives easier. In my heart I know it's true. We're helping them to adjust to what society expects of them - and along with the meds we're teaching them coping mechanisms that will allow them to decide when they are older how they want to manage the struggles that they face.

Okay. Done. I think. For now.

Hugs to Mel.

[Liza]

It's very nice of you to support your friend by asking your tons of readers to help her (I mean asking those who have knowledge and experience....).

I found a website with a message board that might be helpful to her. here's the link to my post about it:

http://lizas-eyeview.blogspot.com/2007/05/works-for-me-wednesday-support-groups.html

I'll also head over to Mel's blog....

[M]

Hey there Tertia... I do not have any experience in this arena but one of my blogging buddies DOES (in a big way). She also has a child with ADD and has may very useful links and information via her blog (http://angelathome.blogspot.com/) including forums, support groups and just links for more information about ADD and ADHD.

hope this helps.....

[Julia]

I have a friend whose son was not diagnosed with ADD until he was a sophmore in HS! Because he was very bright he was able to compensate until that time.

He now takes mild meds and some homeopathic supplements and is going off to college in the Fall.

[Wenchy]

My son has ADHD amongst other interesting things and I must say I think although the diagnosis is often a scape goat when you see the real thing it is very frightning. Without meds, Liam who is 11 cannot read the simplest words.

[Louise]

Hi there. I read everyone's comments re. Ritalin for ADD/ADHD. My own daughter has been diagnosed with ADD two years ago and is on Ritalin LA. It helps, side effects et al, diet is in place etc. My question is: How long do you want to "medicate" your children? To treat the SYMPTOMS? I most certainly don't want to!

The DORE centres in all 4 provinces in SA, UK, Australia, Hong Kong etc. asesses the child NOT to label him/her, but to ascertain exactly the outfalls preventing the child to function properly. The programme is non-medicative and non-generic. Each child is different from the next and is treated as such. The source of ADD/ADHD/Dislexia/Dispraxia/Asperger Syndrome (mild autism) is due to an underdeveloped cerebellum. By stimulating the cerebellum with exercises earmarked for each child individually, the brain is "retrained" to retain info and increase concentration. Read more at www.dore.co.za. Read more about the successes worldwide for the last 7 years since DORE started.
My child is on the programme and already improved dramatically! Pretty soon she won't need Ritalin anymore.