Hands up who has (not) seen my vagina?

Today I went out for lunch with my best friend and two men. Both of whom have been up close and personal with my vagina on several occasions. One of them has even had the same honour with my best friend’s vagina too. In fact, her job is to supply both doctors with a fresh supply of young vaginas.

My best friend is the donor recruiter and coordinator for the egg donor programme called Renew and an ex egg donor herself (hence her vagina’s cameo appearance with the dear doctors) and the two men are the fabulous fertility specialists with whom I (and my vagina) have been through so much over the past 7 or so years.

I love these guys. Besides the fact that they do such an excellent job and that they help so many couples out there, they are also great guys and we have become good friends.

It does feel a leeeetle weird at first, knowing what they know about you, but then we quickly forget that and just have a good laugh and a really interesting chat. We do our best not to talk about vaginas at all (especially our own!).

“So, how’s your Vagina?”

*Choke* “How is my vagina??”

No, I said how is your REGINA! Regina pizza. The pizza you ordered.

Oh. Good thanks. Delicious. Want a slice?

Seriously though, we obviously don’t talk about any of that personal stuff. We do talk a lot about infertility stuff and egg donor stuff and I love listening to how clever these guys are.

It was a fun lunch, as always (fuelled by the two Cosmopolitans consumed by Friend Mel and the lovely glass of Chardonnay imbibed by yours truly), and then in the middle of the conversation the one doctor comes up with an absolute gem. Something so completely ‘omg-I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that’ that I almost choked on my Regina.

We were discussing the benefit of specialization and sub-specialization vs generalization when it comes to reproductive medicine and the good doctor says, and I quote:

“I think it is better to have your finger in many pies rather than just one”

Hahahahaha!!!! Fingers in pies! Vagina doctor!  Terrible analogy, terrible! Doctors who specialize in vaginas should never ever use the ‘finger in pies’ analogy.

Completely childish, I know. Couldn’t help myself, sorry. A bit of vagina humour. I didn’t laugh out loud though. The dear doctor is very shy and would have absolutely shat himself.  But I did phone my friend afterwards and have a good giggle. Cute!

Anyway, it was a lovely lunch and I love my dear doctor as much as I always do. He is funny, smart, kind and damn good at what he does.

Now he better get me knocked up next time he fiddles around near my vagina or else I will have to break up with him.

FET (frozen embryo IVF) starting next week. EEK!

Comments

[Amy]

I once asked my doctor what the worst thing he'd ever said to a patient was, and he said that he'd been giving a woman a pelvic exam, and doing a rather uncomfortable procedure on her, and he said, "I'll be out of your hair in just one second." He meant it in the euphemistic sense, of course, but she took it literally, and cracked up. Too funny!

I'll bet all doctors have stories like that.

[Amber]

I want your RE to get me pg too, and i want your friend to get me donor eggs that will work. man...i wish i could come there.

[Cooler*doula]

Ah... Now that's English slang, and by long Colonial association, South African too. I've never heard it used over here in the States. The Yanks were much less tolerant of the Engelsman and his silly ideas about taxes... Do you know it's used in a Beatle lyric? Penny Lane? "Four of fish and finger pie" Naughty, naughty.

Anyway. Good luck with the FET... I know you'll keep us posted...

[beck]

ROFL!
Hope the FET goes wonderfully.

[Flicka]

LOL! You made me spray my soda across the keyboard, woman!

GL with the FET...I am rotting for you.

[midlife mommy]

I'm contemplating FET as well. So very scared of multiples though . . . I wish you well with yours, and I will live vicariously through you for now.

[Jazz]

Hear hear!
"He is funny, smart, kind and damn good at what he does".
He's my doc too now! Yeah!

[Kim]

Hee hee. You are so funny.

[Coral]

Um, and he doesn't read this blog?

[millie]

So very jealous of your lunch, for many reasons. Unless you were eating bacon and banana pizza. Those are some mighty fine men you lunch with.

Best of luck with the FET.

[Colleen]

Yeah Yeah, big up for our Dr.

[Judy]

Fun conversation and lunch? I need a doctor like that!

Will cross everything, say millions of prayers and wish you all the best in a week (and before and after!).

[Pamplemousse]

I hoping your doctor can sort me out properly this time around and no messing. How's your calendar in October???

[RainbowW]

I have never had the pleasure of either seeing or feeling your vagina, although it occurs to me that doing one, the other, or both, might be a highlight of my year. You might give it some thought.

Then again, you might not.

[ksmaybe]

I had a friend in college who wanted to be a pediatrician. Some years later we were talking as he was finishing up med school. I asked him what specialty he would be doing his residency in. He replied that he was going into ob/gyn because he really like the patients and the 'procedures just fit like a glove'. I think maybe he needs a new way to describe his affinity for his new job :)

[Suzie-Q.]

Nope. Never seen your vagina.
Oh, and, bestest of luck on your FET!! Will be praying for you!
xoxo

[Anla]

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the FET works. Wishing you all the best and may you get you additional miracle/miracles.