Everything seems less bleak in the morning

Much better night last night, thanks. He was either very tired or the brushing and the blanket helped already. I didn’t end up taking the sleeping pill. I was tired enough as it is.

I almost feel like taking the last post down because I sound so overwrought and really, things aren’t that bad. I’m sorry you got to see the very frazzled side of me. But, I don’t like to take posts down so I will leave it up there. Lucky you, you get to see me warts and all.  It is a miracle you actually want to associate with me at all!

Just a note of clarification: the problem is not getting him to go down to sleep, he does that pretty much ok, the problem is that he wakes up a few hours into the sleep. Getting back to sleep in his own bed at 1am is the problem.

As for trusting my instincts… the thing is, I am not sure I can. I am so tired, and so close to the situation that I am not sure what my instincts are telling me.

But I will take him to the doctor (and then the ENT if necessary) and take it from there.

Thanks for your support, sorry you got to see a glimpse of the inner ‘not-so-together’ me. Hard to come across as the cool, in control, competent mother once you’ve spilled your guts on the Internet. But oh well, luckily I’ve never pretended I actually know too much about how to be one of those kind of mothers ;-)

Comments

[justdawn]

None of us are cool and in control all of the time...and if anyone claimed to be...I would totally question their honesty;)

The way you describe Adam reminds me a lot of my 5 year old. He is very intense and very inflexible. He has always been a really restless sleeper, too. He eventually outgrew the need to have me close by during the night...and I suspect Adam will to. Hang in there, Tertia...there are no wrong answers here. You know your son better than the internets possibly could. Follow your gut, as irrational as it may seem, and if there IS something, GREAT! It can be fixed, and if there is nothing, GREAT! Then you can rest easy in the knowledge that it is only a phase and that no kid will want to sleep with his Momma forever.

Sending cyber (((HUGS))) your way. This parenting gig is defintiely not easy.

[jodie]

It is so good you tell us this stuff. We all go through it, but to see someone else writing about it somehow makes it all normal, and all OK. Thank you for that!

I'm not a huge CIO fan, I guess I think if I had an 11 year old and they called out for me I'd rush in, knowing they needed me. If I called to my DH I'd expect him to come running. Hard to just be a no-show with a 2 year old. That said though, I've been known to go in and in my sternest voice (when I know it's a put-on) say "WHAT!??? This better be good!". At one -very trying time with my then 3 year old I told her "You have a drink, you've been to the toilet, you're fine. I am not coming back in again." She understood that - do you think Adam would? It's a bit different than just not showing up - it coming in, showing that you are then when called, but then refusing to do repeat performances for no particular reason. I have also resorted to "The next time I have to come in without a good reason I'm taking x toy away" - that worked a treat!

Anyway, I hope the doctors give you good advice, always good to rule out medical causes first. You sound so tired, you really do need sleep and I hope you find a way.

I'm gad things are looking better today. As I said, we ALL have crappy days and it's so nice to read someone else's experiences.

[Heike]

Hi Tertia

I also used to be paranoid and overtired. What I did was put Tim (now three) into a double bed. He goes to sleep by himself. At about 3 O'clock (sometimes ealier, sometimes later) he wakes up and cries for me. I get into bed with him and give him a bottle if he asks for it. (Gina Ford would have me shot for that).

I find there is nothing nicer than having his little arms curl around my neck, giving me a squeeze, and then he goes back to sleep, content that I am there, and I stay in the bed until morning. I guess I am far too lazy to do bed hopping.

I also love waking up with him in the morning, listening to his chatter. I bet when he is 18 he will not want his old bag in his bed anymore! As for the restless sleeping, you get used to it.

From Heike with Tim who still gets a bottle at night, and who still has a dummy.

[Torild Engh]

I think it is a good thing to be very aware of your childrens behaviour, but I wouldn't make the greatest fuss about it before he gets closer to school age and if his behaviour causes problems for Adam,ie that he cannot adapt to others, be it children or grown ups.

A lot of children are intense and diffult but they can in most cases slowly learn to handle themselves as they get older.

Some of cource don't make it without medicine, but I thought they are quite aware of these things today, aren't they?

Other children and their parents and kindergarten can make wonders for very demanding kids if there's not a very serious underlying problem. Sometimes kids, which are attention junkies of course, manage to manipulate their own parents too easily by being difficult.

At the same time it can be very good for a kid to get some alone-time with both parents, one at a time. Just to make sure they get the attention they need and deserve.

I'm sure you and Marko find a good solution.

PS: I have to be aware sometimes myself of constantly being in the need for all-consuming new projects - check out if this applies to you. That way I sometimes make to much out of too little. I think I succeed at least sometimes, to move myself into new directions, and think a little differently than before. I love when that happens.

[Dua]

Just thought of a few practical things you can do to help Adam stay asleep
- Give him a warm bath or sponge before he gets into bed.
- Give him aglass of warm milk with a tsp of honey ( great sedative)
- Try and note everything that he gets stimulated to and let it not be in sight a few hours before he sleeps
- Build a sleep routine, like read a story or a lullaby
- try not to build a conversation, so Adam should know that its time to sleep
_ Before you try any of the above, just take it easy yourself. Dont get worked up or think about the routine you would have to go through with Adam tonite,it works you up even before you put him to sleep, kids are pretty good at sensing moms anxiety.
- Also my dear, have you tried doing yoga!. Please do , it is a fantastic technique for stress removal, plus it will give you some time to unwind and get things into perspective. I am talking from personal experience.
- I agree with interactors who say that you are trying to do soo much at one go. Please take it easy. I love reading your blogs and know you as such a wonderful , brave person. This challenge that you are going through is really nothing compared to what you have been through. Take it easy, smile, and enjoy Adam. Enjoy him.
Just to point out to you and others also, that i went through SID on the net, and read through some of the symptoms and feels like it describes me to the T when i was a little girl. No one pointed this out when i was a kid or even as an adult. I grew up with lots of character & laughter ( so my mom says) and am now a practicing attorney. So what i am trying to say is that Adam may not necessarily have SID and even if he does it may not have any effect on him as he grows older and may certainly not effect what he turns out to be.

[Adwina - Mom of 1]

It is ok to express yourself. Everyone has their own time.

*hugs*

[Anna]

Oh Tertia.

I'm sorry you feel so badly. Look, I can tell you to screw everything and cosleep (that's what I do, and I love it,) but obviously it's not something you think fits with your family. I could be offended and annoyed at your keep refering to CIO as "doing the right thing" but I won't be, because I know you're upset and didn't mean it like that (ok, I did get a bit annoyed, but then I realised you were upset and didn't mean it like that!) But honey, it's not an all or nothing! Try and find a middle ground solution if you don't want to permanently cosleep and CIO is not something you want to do *at the moment*. Get earplugs? That's what I'd do to be honest, in your situation (if I didn't want to co-sleep, I mean.) Get earplugs. Sleep with him for a bit with earplugs on... Let him settle, get yourself some rest. Then start pulling away from him... Moving the bed away or something like that, every night. Tell him that if he lies down and sleeps you'll stay in the room (and do it!) otherwise you'll leave, because you're tired and you need to sleep. When Matilda is monkeying about and won't sleep, I tell her "Do you want to sleep, or mummy to go downstairs?" and she almost always sais "Go to sleep!" and that's it!

HTH... It will get better

Anna

[Anna]

Doh. Sais=says

[tess]

as the pictures of spiderman and spidergirl show, they are thriving, happy, creative, kids interested in and interacting with the world around them. you're doing a great job, tee, that's what i see. xo

[Danni]

Hey Tertia, I just thought of something... You said that Adam gets off to bed fine during the day for Rose when he is having a nap... Is there any way of breaking this cycle by organising a sleepover and have Rose stay the night, put him to bed etc. You dont necessarily have to spend the whole night away, but perhaps you could spend just the evening away and come home after he has been asleep for a few hours. That or as someone suggested ages ago, have his older cousin sleep over, to make it exciting and hopefully break his need to have you stay with him. With any luck, it will also reinforce appropriate behaviours; seeing someone else act appropriately when it comes time for bed...
Good luck tonight!
xo

[JennyK]

No one is really one of "those kind of mothers" -- we've all got chinks in our armor. It's only the most self-aware moms who can admit their failings....and doing so in the effort to help you kids...well, that just makes you a GOOD mother.

[v.]

have you ever tried to use earplugs when sleeping in his room? this isn't a long term solution, i know, but mabye it helps you not wake up every time he grunts…

[Marcia Smith]

Hi My son is a year and a half and he has always been a horrible sleeper - just like his mom. He also did the scream for 3 hrs bit - no kidding and no breaks - somethimes not even to breath it seemed! Nothing and no one could calm him - not even a bottle...He also has a great bed time routine sometimes trying to climb into his cot on his own in an effort to hurry me up! We have no problems there but he would/does still wake during the night from 11 onwards. One night my husband and i were just seriously fed up and arguing with each other etc the following day my husband put Gabriel to bed - this is my job normally, he cried for 45 minutes it was horrible, the next night he cried for 10 and the next night he didnt cry at all...It was hard becouse i am the same as you i always think that there may be something wrong it was hard on us and we really had to stop each other from going in there - just to check. I little while ago after a bad teething week and my husband 'forgetting' to check the time before giving G a bottle at two instead of five we were practicly back to square one with Liam eventually sleeping on the floor becouse our son wants nothing to do with me...(yes i have a gem of a husband!!) Not that he would sleep he would 'talk' and cry etc... after two weeks of this i walked in and yes LOUDLY told our son the following "this is rediculouse how can you expect your daddy to sleep on the floor...we have put medicine on your teeth you are dry and you dont have a temperature, you have your bottle your light is on and your radio is on too now your father is going to his bed and you will lie down (which he did right then - it was hard not to laugh at the plop or the expression on his face - horrified!) in your bed and then i am going to close your bedroom door and you are going to sleep and mommy and daddy are going to sleep and we will see you in the morning i love you so now go to sleep" and he did ... from that night on we had better nights i would go in and give him the middle of the night bottle if he woke for it but this eventually stopped after about three nights. I know all kids/parents are different but this worked for us i cant sleep with G in bed with us most of the time but, especially with the cold spell we had recently, our ice cold child did end up in bed with us but he slept instead of playing around like normal. We do tend to remind each other when we think he is pulling the wool over the other parents eyes incase we missed it but if you can be 'flexible' then do if not try what you need to try. This worked for me and my family, but my two friends (with kids both the same age as mine) cant do it they cant leave there kids to scream/cry and it is their right to do what makes them feel comfortable. Good luck its a long journey but you are not alone I promise!!

[Marcia Smith]

Hi My son is a year and a half and he has always been a horrible sleeper - just like his mom. He also did the scream for 3 hrs bit - no kidding and no breaks - somethimes not even to breath it seemed! Nothing and no one could calm him - not even a bottle...He also has a great bed time routine sometimes trying to climb into his cot on his own in an effort to hurry me up! We have no problems there but he would/does still wake during the night from 11 onwards. One night my husband and i were just seriously fed up and arguing with each other etc the following day my husband put Gabriel to bed - this is my job normally, he cried for 45 minutes it was horrible, the next night he cried for 10 and the next night he didnt cry at all...It was hard becouse i am the same as you i always think that there may be something wrong it was hard on us and we really had to stop each other from going in there - just to check. I little while ago after a bad teething week and my husband 'forgetting' to check the time before giving G a bottle at two instead of five we were practicly back to square one with Liam eventually sleeping on the floor becouse our son wants nothing to do with me...(yes i have a gem of a husband!!) Not that he would sleep he would 'talk' and cry etc... after two weeks of this i walked in and yes LOUDLY told our son the following "this is rediculouse how can you expect your daddy to sleep on the floor...we have put medicine on your teeth you have your bottle your light is on and your radio is on too now your father is going to his bed and you will lie down (which he did right then - it was hard not to laugh at the plop or the expression on his face - horrified!) in your bed and then i am going to close your bedroom door and you are going to sleep and mommy and daddy are going to sleep and we will see you in the morning i love you so now go to sleep" and he did ... from that night on we had better nights i would go in and give him the middle of the night bottle if he woke for it but this eventually stopped after about three nights. I know all kids are their parents are different but this worked for us i cant sleep with G in bed with us most of the time but especially with the cold spell we had recently our ice cold child did end up in bed with us but he slept instead of playing around like normal. We do tend to remind each other when we think he is pulling the wool over the other parents eyes incase we missed it but if you can be flexible then do if not try what you need to try. This worked for me and my family, but my two friends (with kids both the same age as mine) cant do it they cant leave there kids and it is their right to do what makes them feel comfortable. Good luck its a long journey but you are not alone!

[Laura(southernxy)]

Maybe the trick is for Adam to fall asleep without you there. If he goes to sleep with you in the room, of course he's upset when he wakes up and you're gone.

You could try this - you could put him to bed early enough that you're not dying, and station yourself just outside his room in a chair where he can see you. Then gradually move the chair away. If he calls out you can answer and he can see that you're still there. But it would get him used to falling asleep without having you in the room.

[Wyliekat]

I don't think you'd be a mother if you didn't worry abotu whether or not you were doing enough for your children's well-being. And no one can tell you whether or not you are doing enough. That's the crappiest part of it. But I think, at some point along the way, there's a place where you have to make a leap of faith. You have to hear a voice in your own head that says "I'm doing the right thing, here. He's getting what he needs. I have to let the rest of it go. Let things fall out as they may. I'm loving him and that's all that really matters".

That voice will come. Or the other voices will. But hopefully that one will get there first.

[Melissa Braun]

You don't sound overwrought, or over-the-top or any such thing. You sound like a mama who is doing her best to do right by her children. And it sounds like Marko is doing the same thing, just from a different perspective.

Bottom line: It's very difficult, this parenting thing.

You might want to take a look at my last blog entry which you can probably identify with. Granted, my daughter has DEFINITE issues, but some if it you will definitely understand.

www.luckymama.blogspot.com

Also, a good night's sleep does wonders, doesn't it?

All the best,

Melissa

[JenC]

Thank you for not taking the post down. It's always nice to know that I'm not the only one that gets frazzled when it comes to my two year old twins.

[Jessy]

Today's Slate has an article entitled: "New and Old Strategies for Children who Won't Sleep." Adam might be a little young for the most clever method (giving a 'one free pass' card per night), but there are some other suggestions in there, and compelling data on how bad it is for mothers to have poor sleepers.

http://www.slate.com/id/2166888?nav=tap3

[Andrea]

Since the major issue seems to be wakening after going to sleep at night - I wonder if he might be getting ready to potty train. My boys all did this as one of the first signals. They were fairly o.k. sleepers until they started to realize how their bodies worked and recognizing what happens when it's time to pee. Then they would wake every time they felt that urge. Once they were trained they fell back into a more normal (for them) sleep pattern. I hope sleeping tonight goes better for you.

PS Just got The Dangerous Book for Boys over the weekend and my boys (I have 4) LOVE it! I have definitely been bumped up to the coolest mom ever category (at least for a short time). :)

[Ally]

For what it's worth, snoring, waking, and not eating are huge red flags for me. Jamie had the same problems until he had his tonsils removed at age 2. And things started to get really bad at around 18 months. Apparently his tonsils were so large they were almost touching - hence not wanting to eat. The eating thing didn't occur to me until my ped's nurse asked me about it. The ped looked, the tonsils were huge, we went to an ENT, 2 months later his tonsils were out and like magic, he started to sleep.

Otherwise, Jamie also goes through periods where he really needs mommy or daddy at night. My rule? Fine, as long as you stay on your own pillow - no sleeping on TOP of mommy. That way I sleep ok too.

[Elizabeth]

Hey Tertia, big hugs. BTDT with the sleep thing. And my child has NOTHING wrong with her. No sensory issues, either. She is a few months younger than K & A.

Some kids just are restless sleepers. We go through good phases where she sleeps through most of the time and then hellish times like those you describe.

I must have read different books or have different people around me b/c it never even occurred to me to CIO, and yes, I think locking the door on him would be cruel - AND extremely, extremely hard on you. I know you seem to have a lot of support for that method and as a loyal fan :) I will support you in anything you choose to do but I can't vote for it.

My advice? Remember, "this, too, shall pass". And I always feel good about showing kindness and understanding to my kid as opposed to the way I feel when I "get tough". I know, I know, a case can be made that "getting tough" is the true kindness but I just don't buy it, either on a gut level or based on the reading in child development that I've done.

Just another point of view. If I were you I'd just hang in there and maybe buy that book the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers (haven't read it, but got some good ideas from the NCSS for infants) and not expect instant results, just maybe minor improvements. Time will do the rest.

Another book I like might be worth picking up - the Complete Idiot's Guide to Sleep Training for your Child. A lot of info on CIO, actually, but the chapter on toddler sleep problems seemed to help me a few months ago and there are just SO many tips in there, you can pick and choose the ones that work for you.

As I said I have BTDT and my assvice is from the heart (as much as the ass, lol), and I realize everyone's perspective is different. Just wanted to give mine.

[kristylynne]

Definitely keep them napping. I believe that it helps them sleep better at night. What time of day does Adam nap? Perhaps try moving it slowly earlier or later?

The middle of the night waking is the WORST. The best parenting advice I have ever heard came from my best friend, who told me that she views sleep as one of the greatest things in life (I agree), and that teaching your child to value sleep and to go to sleep on his or her own is one of the greatest gifts you can give him. I try to remember this on the rough nights at 3 a.m.!

I too hate CIO, but I think that you are at a breaking point and something has to give. I wouldn't just lock the door and walk away, but maybe try going in, settling him down and then leaving again. You might have to go right back in over and over, and it might take a few nights, but Adam needs to learn how to go back to sleep in his own bed.

He also needs to learn that it's NOT OK for him to get up and come into your room. You have a monitor in there? Tell him that he can talk to the monitor if he needs you, and mommy will hear him and come. Stay in the room for a little while, but not in the bed. Maybe sing him one song, and tell him that when the song is over mommy is going to back to mommy's bed, but if he needs you, you will hear him and come. Move closer to the door each night until you're singing the song just outside, and cut your time in the room shorter and shorter. It will hard to hear him cry for you when you try to leave, but you MUST LEAVE. Even if you have to turn around and come right back in two minutes later.

Just my 2 cents. This is what works with my own little one!

[Lissa]

Thank you for posting this - I thought I was the only one who dreaded sundown! Lately, with my almost 3 year old - it's been taking hours to get her to sleep. Now, once she's asleep - we're golden - but getting her to sleep is awful. And her room is right next door to our almost 1 year old - and Megan screaming WILL wake Emily up - I've been at my wit's end. Megan is definately going thru some 'monsters' issues - I have no idea where she gets that fear - we don't read stories with monsters or anything - and so she's been asking us to stay with her. Some nights it's less than an hour - other nights it's 3 hours. And it's just heart-breaking. I hope I'm not screwing her up by trying to make sure she's comfortable and ok and all that. This parenting thing *is* hard. You're doing a great job! And it is amazing how much better things seem when the sun's out!

[kristylynne]

Lissa, in case you come back to read comments, here's an idea ... get a clear plastic bottle and fill it with water, and maybe put a little lavender oil in it. Monsters HATE the smell of lavender, and coincidentally it is excellent aromatherapy for sleep. Let your daughter decorate the bottle with stickers or permanent markers. Tell her it is monster-repellent. Give it to her at bedtime, and let her spray in her closet, under the bed, wherever monsters lurk. Let her keep it by her bed and use it if she needs it. Teddy bears posted at all four corners of the bed are also excellent monster-lookouts.

[jane]

Tertia, i haven't read all the comments but was wondering if he's had his tonsils looked at? If they're swollen can interfere w/ sleep. My two nephews had theirs removed due to interrupted sleep. thanks, Jane

[Jan]

Hey Tertia, I haven't read all the comments, so this might totally be repeating what other people have said, so sorry if it is.

Have you tried bed rules? He might be old enough for bed rules.

Every night when we put our Munchkin (will be 3 this week) to bed, she and I go over the bed rules. Which, for her are: Don't get out of your big girl bed, don't take your pull-up off, and no shouting when it's time to sleep. If you need to cry, that's OK, but no shouting.

Then ... and this is the kicker ... we say, "and if you do all those things, then in the morning, you get to watch a little TV".

Then in the morning, first thing, I say, "Did you stay in your big girl bed all night long? [etc] ... Good job -- now we can watch a little TV".

I'm not a big fan of the TV, but mornings are insanity at our house, and 30 minutes of her sitting on the couch in front of it makes it immeasurably better, so it's something we'd been allowing most mornings anyway. The reward could be just about anything, really, so long as it's something he likes and that wouldn't be bad for him to skip. This could be particularly effective with Adam if you used the same system with Kate and he could see her getting rewarded for behavior that he wasn't doing, if that makes sense. He'll no doubt scream bloody murder, but I think somehow it's easier to let them scream in the morning over no TV than to scream because they don't want to be in bed.

Sometimes a little bribery ... er, "positive reinforcement" will do the trick where all the cajoling and threatening and hoping for the best is failing.

FWIW, I have done CIO and don't think it's abusive or anything else, but I do also think there is almost always another way if you don't want to do that.

Then you combine the bed rules with the "silent return to bed" technique (this is what Supernanny does, and what Weissbluth talks about in his book) where basically every single time he gets out of bed, you silently put him back in. Period. You don't talk, you don't pat, you don't reward in any way. You just put him back in bed.

Good luck Tertia. It all goes to hell in a handbasket when they aren't sleeping, doesn't it?

*back to lurking*

[Leggy]

I so hear you on the "its hard to trust my instincts" when you're so tired. And I had a kid who would scream for 3 hours the few times we tried CIO. Good luck sorting it out. We ended up just humoring him (sitting in a chair until he fell asleep, bringing him into bed when he'd wake up in the middle of the night), but we had the flexibility to do that as he was an only child for so long. Now at 6 years old, he FINALLY goes to bed by himself and sleeps the whole night. Good luck.

[Leggy]

I so hear you on the "its hard to trust my instincts" when you're so tired. And I had a kid who would scream for 3 hours the few times we tried CIO. Good luck sorting it out. We ended up just humoring him (sitting in a chair until he fell asleep, bringing him into bed when he'd wake up in the middle of the night), but we had the flexibility to do that as he was an only child for so long. Now at 6 years old, he FINALLY goes to bed by himself and sleeps the whole night. Good luck.

[Amy]

Don't apologize! Thank for being Real!

[Judy]

I think you are tres cool to leave the other post up. It is a part of who you are - we all go through times like that (some of us more than others! EEKS).

Does Adam wake up at the same time each night, around 1 a.m.? We had the same issues with my almost 8 year old up until this past February (yes, seven and a half years of icky sleep!). And, for him, the only thing that has made a difference is that he now shares a room with his little brother. Just having another person in the room with him (not in the same bed, but in the same room - they have bunk beds) apparently was all he needed. We've never said a word to him ("your brother's in here now, so you're not alone anymore - go back to bed" or anything like that)...it all just happened on its own. Had I known that having a roomie was all he needed I would have been more proactive in pursuing the sibling for him much quicker! HAHA

What is the possibility of Adam and Kate being in the same room? It is an adjustment, but it might work. If not now, maybe in a year or so? Just a thought...

[Stacy]

My cousin (also my BFF) ;) has a daughter with sleep issues similar to what you describe with Adam and it turned out to be adenoids. Once they were removed she started sleeping better almost immediatley. I hope you get some anwsers.

[zarqa]

I think that just your sheer honesty in writing out the issues you're having with Adam show that you have good instincts as a mother. I have no experiences of my own to share, yet....But I just wanted to say that tales like yours are valuable to hear and you shouldn't be holding back on any of that rawness.

[projgen]

Omigosh, Tertia's human ;)

G-d willing this cycle works, should I ever freak out because I don't know everything and don't know what to do, I can come back and read this and know I'm not alone. And that I'm normal.

(although a lot of people would argue with that last bit)

Thank you, as always, for showing your raw bits. They're just as G&D as your put together bits.

[projgen]

Omigosh, Tertia's human ;)

G-d willing this cycle works, should I ever freak out because I don't know everything and don't know what to do, I can come back and read this and know I'm not alone. And that I'm normal.

(although a lot of people would argue with that last bit)

Thank you, as always, for showing your raw bits. They're just as G&D as your put together bits.

[bex]

THANK YOU for posting your not-so-together moments! I NEED them, cause I have LOTS of them. And seeing you pull it back together makes me feel so hopeful and less alone.

[Suzie-Q.]

Good therapy for you to keep the posts up, i think... reminds you and all of us, that we are only human and so is everybody else.
Although, sometimes i do believe we are Superwoman!
xoxo

[Suzie-Q.]

**last post was referring to twin mommies, most of whom do possess super-powers.

[S]

Tertia-
Longtime lurker here. I can relate as I have a 3-year-old DS and 9-month-old DS who have both co-slept at one time or another. It sounds like Adam just needs some extra attention at this time, and you are doing your best to meet that need. I just wanted to say hang in there! And possibly, would the twins be ok with pushing both of their big beds together and conforting each other? Good luck!