Please. If I ever forget this Very VERY important yet oh so simple rule; then I hereby give you official permission to administer 1x firm kick up my incredibly stupid ass.
The rule is: Never ever EVER buy ONE of any thing. Ever.
Even if you think there is no way on earth the other one will want that particular thing, it doesn't matter. Save yourself plenty of tears and heartache (your own) and buy TWO of everything.
I hate it when I forget that rule.
I foolishly bought 1x Spiderman outfit because Adam is obsessed with Spiderman and Kate has to date not shown one iota of interest in the arachnid superhero. Until 5 minutes before I have to leave home and she founds the outfit and wants it on.
No problem, I think. Who cares if she is going out in public like that. Let's just get MOVING, we are going to be LATE. Pull off her beautiful new outfit* and put on ugly nylon suit. Sorted I think.
Yeah right. Until Adam sees her.
"THAT'S MINE SPIDERMAN!"
"NO, THAT'S KATE SPIDERMAN"
"NO, THAT'S ADAM SPIDERMAN"
Screaming and sobbing and wailing ensues.
Oh.My.FUUUUCKKKK
"Kate, take it off and give it to Adam. Quickly! That's Adam's Spiderman outfit."
NO, THAT'S KATE'S ONEY
NO, THAT'S ADAM'S SPIDERMAN
AARRGGHHHHH!!!!
Thank goodness I managed to persuade them to come to some sort of compromise, but it was close. Note how happy they each look. Not.
I get so annoyed with myself because I should know better. I have no one else to blame but myself. From now on, I am buying two of everything, whether it is Barbie, Spiderman or whatever the hell the latest favourite thing is. Two of exactly the same colour / shape / texture / design etc. Beware if you don't, because they find the smallest difference between the two seemingly identical-except-for-one-tiny-picture blue balloons. WANT BEAR ONE MAMA!!! "Look! You have a beautiful doggie one, what a cute doggie!" DON'T WANT IT TO DOGGIE ONE MAMA! WANT BEAR ONE!!
No wonder I have aged 17 years since their birth.
*Funny how my standards have changed. I've gone from beautiful matching pale pink and blue outfits to what ever the hell they want to wear just as long as it is relatively clean and reasonably appropriate to the weather. Last week Kate went out in a
pink winter long-sleeved Strawberry Shortcake shirt, a multi coloured gypsy summer skirt, green Wellington
boots that look like crocodiles (v cute) and a swimming nappy. Some battles just aren’t worth fighting. She was warm enough, I was fine with it.
![Medsitters Au pairs](<a href="http://medsitter.com/" title="Medsitters"><img src=" http://www.tertia.org/medsitter.png" /></a> ){kind=link}
Motherhood teaches you many things. 2 things are PATIENCE and that you as a parent cannot win. You need to accept defeat. Kids are always right!
BTW they look very cute with 1/2 spiderman outfit on.
Posted by: Dominique | 24 May 2007 at 06:15 PM
How cute, even if not completely happy. Kate's hair is beautiful. So, how cold does it get down there? I would imagine it is coming into fall for you now?
Posted by: Amy | 24 May 2007 at 06:19 PM
My boys are 3 years apart and we have to buy two of everything. Like you said, some battles aren't worth fighting :)
Posted by: Bonnie | 24 May 2007 at 06:47 PM
Luckily my 2 kids-boy (6) and girl (2), the boy has no interest what's so ever wearing barbie, strawberry, tinklebell. HAH... So I am lucked out in the clothing dept, but the fighting with toys. OMG!! All day long, all I hear is this is mine, this is mine, this is mine. Mine, mine, mine. At least they say it with cute Australia accent. ;)
Posted by: Liz | 24 May 2007 at 06:51 PM
Omg her hair is so stunning!!! I have done the shared outfit thing and my kids aren't even twins lol
Posted by: Melany aka Supermom | 24 May 2007 at 07:09 PM
I bought my 2 year old twin girls Strawberry Shortcake Beach balls and my 4 year old son had a fit! He only has about 5 balls of his own, but he HAD TO HAVE a Strawberry Shortcake ball RIGHT THEN!!! Needless to say, I deflated both of the balls and no one got to have fun. Such a mean Mama!
Posted by: 3littlepigs | 24 May 2007 at 07:36 PM
That outfit Kate wore sounds quite smashing to me! You are a great mother for letting her express her individuality and creativity. Why not?
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | 24 May 2007 at 07:57 PM
LOL! I have a friend that has 4 boys when she makes cupcake she makes them exactally the same including same number and color of m&m's on the top. My girls are 18 years appart... NO Problem. Well except the mommy time and DD#1 thought it would be good to start the "my mommy" "NO My mommy" thing as soon as DD # 2 started talking... even more annoying when they are 27y/o and 9y/o even if they are just teasing.
Posted by: K. | 24 May 2007 at 08:04 PM
Wait - you think this is fun? Wait until they both WANT TO PICK OUT THEIR OWN CLOTHES.
It'll happen, y'know.
I'm just sayin'....
Posted by: daysgoby | 24 May 2007 at 08:07 PM
For the record, this is not a twin thing. My boys, 7 and 2, fight like DOGS over stuff like this. Drives me nuts. Did I know 3 years ago when we bought the cool space blanket that I would have another child, much less one that wants THE EXACT SAME BLANKET (no longer in production, of course)???? GAH!!!!
Posted by: Judy | 24 May 2007 at 08:35 PM
Mine are 5 years apart, and I still have to buy 2 of a lot of things. Pain in the ass I tell ya!
Posted by: Stefanie | 24 May 2007 at 09:07 PM
Oh my I remember the comments "oh they must know how to share since there are two of them" Yeah sure right, LOL I bought two of everything
And still at 26 , if one buys something for his car or mototcycle the other one has to buy it too.
Posted by: Peggy | 25 May 2007 at 01:52 AM
Oh, the money I would pay for her hair......
Posted by: Becky | 25 May 2007 at 03:52 AM
no sympathy here.
mine are 5 3 and 3, and i have to buy three of everything.
three bicycles, three helmets. three beds, sets of bedclothes. three boxes of spiderman band-aids. three goddamned cheese pizzas.
too bad i didn't manage three orgasms for the little fuckers.
Posted by: RainbowW | 25 May 2007 at 04:07 AM
My twins are exactly the same way, but, i started teaching them very early on that they must take turns with things... so, whoever grabs the thing first gets to hold/wear/use it for exactly one minute and then it becomes "Sammy's Turn", "Evan's Turn", or even "Mommy's turn". They totally understand the concept of "next time you can wear it, it's not your turn right now". And, i ALWAYS say, "I promise" and follow through. They get it and it has worked miracles in my house to cut the screaming at least by half.
It even works when they want my attention and i am busy cleaning, on the phone, whatever... i just say, "Right now it's Mommy's turn to clean and when i am finished, it will be Sammy's turn to get some milk". Keeps them quiet for about 2 minutes, then, i can attend to their needs, or, give them my phone to play with, etc.
I am serious about trying to teach them patience, manners and sharing.
We'll see if i can do it... stay tuned...!!
(*so far, so good).
xoxo
Posted by: Suzie-Q. | 25 May 2007 at 04:38 AM
BTW... forgot to say that i think Miss Kate's hair is looking awfully G&D!! Do you curl it? Or, is that natural?
Posted by: Suzie-Q. | 25 May 2007 at 04:40 AM
As a mom of twins I can relate. But having a girl/girl combo made it easier. No way in Hell you can get away with buying one! In time they decided they needed the same item in different colors to differentiate but the rule remains. Buy something for one and damn well better come home with something for the other!
Posted by: Amy | 25 May 2007 at 05:47 AM
Tertia, you are so my kind of mom. I laughed out loud at both the description and the pictures. What gorgeous kids you have!!
And, this probably won't make you feel better, but even non-twins do this. I was forever convinced that when my sister and I both got hot chocolate that my mother put more marshmallows in hers. It would sometimes ruin the hot chocolate for me, I seethed so bitterly about her four extra mini-marshmallows. Ah, childhood! :)
Posted by: Elizabeth | 25 May 2007 at 06:18 AM
2 of everything is good. my son's 19 and we BOTH now buy 2 of everything - 1 for him and 1 for me!! my sister is 10 years older than me and i remember having those issues when i was young - although the age gap did complicate things somewhat for my mum:) my best photo of A & K is the one in which A has the spidey suit on and K just has the mask on!
Posted by: debi | 25 May 2007 at 07:15 AM
I have to buy 3 of everying for the triplets!!!! They know about taking turns on swings, and riding "horsey" on my back but when it comes to toys and clothes - no way! They fight and scream, I've also learn't to keep the peace you buy 3 of everything and in EXACTLY the same colour!
Posted by: Tripsmom | 25 May 2007 at 08:40 AM
Absolutely, two of everything, especially when it comes to new boobs. ;-)
Posted by: HeatherM | 25 May 2007 at 09:17 AM
Whatever WORKS...whatEVER WORKS!!
Posted by: Amy | 25 May 2007 at 01:59 PM
Sometimes I have to buy 4 of the same thing: I have a daughter (age 2) and a son (aged 11) plus my twin stepchildren (both 8, boy and girl). But there will always be arguments if one has sonething and the others don't, be it sweeties, a pink tutu or a spiderman figurine! You really wouldn't think it should be the case with the age and sex differences!!
On the sme note, I'm so glad to read that IO'm not the only one to let the kids wear what they want for a quiet life! My youngest is currently going through the phase of choosing what to wear, and we have such battles if I try to make her wear a nice matching outfit she doesn't want to wear.
Posted by: Amanda | 25 May 2007 at 07:57 PM
KILLING myself laughing.. brilliant! hahahaha!
Posted by: Donna | 25 May 2007 at 08:53 PM
My husband swears if he gave one of our kids (5 y/o girl and 2 y/o boy) a bag of crap, the other one would fight to take it away. So true!
Posted by: Alex | 25 May 2007 at 10:32 PM
that was hysterical tertia- and oh so true! i remember from when i lived at home as one of four children... heaven help my mom if one of us got a millilitre more cooldrink than the other, or one more frootloop in our breakfast bowl than the others had!
oh thank goodness i only have one...
Posted by: angel | 27 May 2007 at 04:14 PM
hahaha - I'm remembering when my mom let me out of the house wearing red & white sports socks, with a red pleated mini skirt and a red & white shirt with strawberries that somehow completely clashed with the red skirt. I thought all the reds together looked neat. She was willing to let me out looking like an royal ass to save herself a few minutes' (okay, a couple hours) stress. Hmph.
Your kids, however, look cute in their, er, unique outfits.
Posted by: projgen | 28 May 2007 at 12:52 AM
Don't worry about it. Anybody whose raised a child around this age KNOWS they chose what to wear, not you! I figure we're ahead if it's sort of clean and sort of fits...
The buying 2 of everything stage does get a bit better as they grow up. Now at age 7 our triplets share a lot, or prefer to have their own distinctly different stuff. They can tolerate when somebody gets new boots because they need them, while the other two have good boots already. And they very rarely agree on favourite foods, so they will "share" what they don't like!
Posted by: SheilaC | 28 May 2007 at 06:17 PM